Girlfriend of a Surfer

by Bebe Wilde

“The house we were fighting about?” I said and rolled my eyes. “We left some plastic upstairs and the real estate agent is throwing a hissy fit about it.”

  “Oh, that house.”

  “Hey, you want to come with me?” I said and smiled at him and grabbed his hand, swinging it a little. “We can pick it up then do brunch somewhere. I’d love for you to see it, you know, so you can check out what you’re cheating me out of.”

  “Babe, I just heard the surf report,” he said. “There’s going to be some epic waves hitting in less than an hour.”

  I just stared at him.

  “Sorry,” he said.

  I again thought of the parallel between my dad’s hunting/fishing addiction and Bear’s surfing addiction. I said, “You know, something, Bear? You have an addiction. This isn’t a sport. It’s a sickness. You’re addicted to catching a wave and it’s making you sick. You can’t get enough. You keep trying to catch a high, not that wave. Do you see where this is headed?”

  “You’re right,” he said and pulled me to him. “It’s a sickness. You can help me with it, if you like.”

  He tried to kiss me but I wriggled away. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “Get off!” I pushed at him.

  “What?” he asked, aghast. “We’re not having sex? But you got me all turned on!”

  “Okay, fine,” I said. “I will have sex with you if you come with me this morning.”

  He just stared at me, the rotors turning in his mind as he weighed his options.

  “I can’t believe you!” I yelled. “You just turned down sex!”

  “I didn’t turn it down!” he said. “I want it! Let me have it! I just hesitated for a moment!”

  “So you’ll go with me then?” I asked.

  He stared at me again, obviously trying to make a decision.

  I was aghast. “Go fuck your board,” I said and left the room.

  “Come on, babe!” he hollered after me. “I want to bend you over the kitchen table!”

  “I can hear you two!” a disembodied voice yelled from the living room.

  Bear and I got into the room at the same time and looked over the back of the couch at Trent, Bear’s longtime friend and my longtime couch crasher.

  “Trent, get the fuck out of there!” Bear yelled. “I need some time with my lady!”

  “That is not going to happen,” I said.

  “Why not?”

  “Well, first of all, we apparently have a guest,” I said and waved my arm over a sleepy Trent. “And secondly, I want someone to go to brunch with and you just want to go splash around in the stinking cold ocean!”

  “It’s not splashing around,” he said and groaned. “Tell her, Trent!”

  Trent sat up rubbing his eyes. He was such a surfer looking dude he could have been the poster boy for it. He was thin, cute and nicely muscled. He was smaller built than Bear, but he could give a wave hell. Everyone liked him as he was a cool guy and we got along really well. “Tell her what, man?” he asked.

  Bear shrugged. “Whatever, dude, don’t defend me.”

  “Did your girlfriend kick you out again?” I asked Trent.

  “No,” he said and sat up, yawning. “She did that two weeks ago. I’ve been staying here most nights. Didn’t you two know?”

  I looked at Bear and he looked at me. We both shook our heads simultaneously. “Two weeks, man?” Bear said. “Seriously?”

  “I come in late and leave early,” he said. “You know I got work.”

  We nodded at him, but then this was just typical. There always seemed to be someone staying on our couch. I glared at Bear. “This is why I wanted to move, okay? Come on!”

  “But you like Trent,” he said. “You don’t care if he crashes here.”

  “I do like him,” I said. “But this is the way it’s always going to be and I’m tired of it. I bet he’s even heard us having sex.”

  “I think the whole neighborhood heard,” Trent said and yawned again. “You two should make porn. You’d be rich. I know a guy who’d hook you up good.”

  Him saying this didn’t even faze me. Bear’s friends said inappropriate stuff like this all the time. “Trent,” I said. “Make up with your girl and stop sleeping on my couch, okay?”

  “She hates me,” he said. “I forgot her birthday.”

  “Then buy her a present and make up with her,” I said and started out of the room.

  He considered this. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

  “Because you’re a fucking man and you don’t think about anything but surfing!” I half-yelled over my shoulder. “And take a shower! You reek!”

  “God, I love her,” Trent said and he and Bear cracked up.

  “Go fuck yourselves!” I yelled and went into the bedroom.

  “Waves are breaking,” Bear said. “You up?”

  “Hellz, yeah,” Trent said.

  I groaned and went into the bedroom and started getting ready. I wanted to look nice, mainly because I wanted Bear to see what he was missing out on. Once I was done, I looked myself over. I looked hot. My makeup was perfect and I put my hair up in a loose bun. I had on a nice, long but form-fitting black skirt and a loose white top. I put on some of Bear’s mother’s beaded bracelets—she sent me a bunch every time she had a new line come out—and my gold watch. I found my black leather flip-flops and completed the look. Yeah, this was cute. I looked bohemian chic but not too much. I mean I didn’t look like I was on my way to Bonnaroo or anything. And I certainly wasn’t going to top off the look with a floppy hat of some sort. Yeah, I looked good. I was still going to brunch, even if I had to go by myself. Why shouldn’t I? Besides, I could always ask Quinn to come with me.

  I grabbed my purse and headed out the back door and to my car. As I left, I saw that Bear and Trent were outside suiting up. They looked ridiculous, jumping up and down trying to get into their wetsuits, which was a feat in and of itself. It just sometimes seemed like more trouble than it was worth. I laughed a little at them and began to root around the bottom of my purse for my keys.

  “Pretty lady,” Bear said and whistled under his breath. “Where the hell are you going looking like that?”

  “To find some men to divert my attention from you,” I said and rolled my eyes. “Where do you think? I’m going by the house and then I’m going to call Quinn and see if she’ll meet me somewhere to eat. Is that okay, sir?”

  He gave me a hard look. “I suppose so.”

  “You look hot,” Trent said. “Hey, do you have any more of those bracelets? My girl would love those.”

  “There is a ton in the bedroom closet,” I said. “When you two get done, Bear can get you some. They still have the tags on them and everything. They’re cool, huh?” I showed him my arm. “Bear’s mom is a true artist.”

  “She is,” Trent said, looking at the bracelets and nodding with approval.

  “Oh, and get her a card and a box for the bracelets. Don’t forget to wrap it, too.”

  “That’s a lot of work,” he said, scratching his head.

  “Or, just stay single,” I said and smiled at him.

  “It might be easier,” he said.

  Bear and I glanced at each other and cracked up. “Well, do it or not, Trent,” I said. “If you’re lucky, she’ll overlook your stupidity.”

  “I’m not stupid,” he said. “I just forget shit. You know I got knocked really hard by my board a few months back, right?”

  “He got lost in a big wave,” Bear said. “I thought he was a goner.”

  “Yeah, I heard its dangerous work,” I said sarcastically. “That’s why it pays so well.” I sighed and turned to Trent. “Anyway, make up with her, Trent, okay?”

  “I will try,” he said. “But don’t be surprised if I still end up on your couch again tonight.”

  I groaned. Whatever. “Fine,” I said. “I gotta go.”

  “Hey, babe,” Bear said. “Pick me up a lottery ticket on your w
ay home?”

  I turned and stared at him. “And what do I get out of it, other than spending my hard earned money for a useless piece of paper?”

  “You get to move to Hawaii when I win,” he said and came over and kissed the tip of my nose. “And you get to have sex with all this for the rest of your life.”

  “I can have that anyway,” I said and gave him a good once over. Even in a black wetsuit, he looked hot and wetsuits usually didn’t look good on anyone, in my opinion, anyway. They just looked like a big, black rubber suit. They almost had a slight fetish look to them, now that I thought about it. “I just wanted to go to brunch with my boyfriend.”

  “We can do that later,” he said.

  “When?”

  “After I get done,” he said.

  “I’m not driving all the way back over here to take you to brunch.”

  “I’ll go,” Trent said. “I like brunch.”

  “You’re not going to brunch with my girlfriend,” Bear said and cut his eyes at him.

  “He can if he wants to,” I snapped.

  “No,” Trent said and held up a hand. “Don’t involve me in this. I really was just being polite.”

  “Fine, Trent,” I said.

  “Cool,” he said and leaned against the house, then picked up a roach he’d stashed on the window sill and lit it. He took a quick drag then held it out to us. “Want some?”

  “No, man,” Bear said. “I’m cutting that out. It lowers your sperm count and I need to keep mine up for my lady.”

  “Man, no one wants to hear about your sperm count,” Trent said and inhaled deeply again.

  Bear considered and said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  I almost laughed but wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “Well, on that note, I will see you two kooks later,” I said and went to my car.

  “That was cold,” Bear said and pointed at me.

  “It was, wasn’t it?” I said. “Bye now!”

  “Bye, Willa!” Trent called.

  “Laters!” I said and waved.

  I heard Trent say, “Man, what did you do to her? She’s pissed.”

  “She just needs to get fucked good,” Bear replied. “That always calms her down.”

  “I heard that!” I yelled at him and flipped him a bird. “What a jerk-assed thing to say about someone! Like all you have to do is bend me over the couch and I’ll stop my bitching!”

  “Dude,” Trent said. “She’s scaring me.”

  “Well, she’s turning me on,” Bear replied.

  Trent considered, then nodded. “Ohhh… I hadn’t thought about it that way.”

  “Trent,” Bear said. “That’s out of line, but I respect your honesty.”

  “I am standing right here!” I yelled. Oh, my God, it was like I was dealing with Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb. Now I was pissed. “That means I can hear you!”

  They just stared at me.

  “Whatever,” I said to them and got into my car fuming. Then I drove to the house of contention and let myself in. As I approached the front door, my irritation abated somewhat. That’s what that house did to me, it calmed me. This was proof that I really needed it! But, alas, no, it was not meant to be.

  I let myself in and took a quick look around before I went upstairs. Suddenly, I felt a longing I’d never felt before. The house was so beautiful, just like I remembered it. I loved it so much. And we’d staged it so well! It was home. I looked around, sighed with the loss I felt at never getting what I wanted, then went upstairs and retrieved the plastic. There wasn’t much so I didn’t understand why the real estate agent couldn’t have just thrown it away herself. But that’s the way some of them were.

  I took the trash downstairs and then into the garage and crammed it into a trashcan, then I went back inside and walked around for a few minutes making sure everything looked perfect. I was just about to leave when I heard someone coming in the front door. I stopped in the foyer and saw a woman who was probably the real estate agent, the one who’d insisted I drive all the way here to throw a few pieces of plastic away. I was about to give her what-for, then decided against it as she was talking to some man who was behind her and out of my sightline.

  “Now, as you can see, there is a lot of original detailing,” she said, then stopped short when she saw me. “Oh! Who are you?”

  “I’m the house stager,” I said and smiled at her. “I got all the plastic out for you.”

  “Oh, good, good,” she said.

  I nodded. “Sorry, I’ll get out of your way. I thought your open house was later.”

  “It is, but my client wanted to see it early,” she said and looked around. “Oh, there he is.”

  A tall, dark haired, good looking guy entered the house and we locked eyes. It suddenly dawned on me that this guy looked familiar. And then it hit me. Oh. Shit. It was Jed! My ex! The one Bear had gotten into a fight with over me. We hadn’t seen nor spoken to each other since the day we had broken up but time had been good to him. He looked better than I remembered and he was carrying himself with a lot more assurance and confidence. And why shouldn’t he have been? After I had left, he’d gotten some big breaks and began to really make a name for himself in Hollywood and was now a really big director. Everyone wanted to work with him. And he was rich. And powerful. While I was the girlfriend of a surfer, a former world champion surfer, but still.

  I couldn’t help but also notice that he was staring at me with a look of mild disdain. I looked around, pretending to not notice him, even when we’d obviously already established with our body language that we knew one another. I just wanted to leave without any trouble but he stepped right up to me, took my hand, leaned in to kiss my cheek, then exclaimed, “Damn! It’s you! Willa Coslett!”

  “Jed Danielson,” I said and smiled at him. “Wow. It’s you! Too!”

  “It’s me,” he said. “In the flesh.”

  “How are you?” I said, trying to be civil. I moved away from him and took him in. Man, he looked good in his black slacks and blue button down shirt. His shoes looked Italian and expensive and his face was clean shaven. He always had a great smile, mainly due to years of wearing braces, but he wasn’t flashing it now. However, I didn’t remember him being so cute. Maybe as he’d gotten older, he’d come into his looks more. Whatever the case, he was just a lot better looking now. Why hadn’t I noticed that before? I wondered for a second why that was and then I realized it was probably because I had had Bear on the brain. But cute he was. But that didn’t matter now. He wasn’t being nice, no, not at all. I could also tell he had an ax to grind with me. I needed to leave quickly before it got out of hand. It’s not like we’d left on good terms.

  “Do you two know each other?” the real estate agent asked, giving me a slight look of displeasure. She didn’t like me stealing her thunder. She wanted him all to herself, I could tell. But she was about thirty years older than us and kind of a bitch.

  “No, she’s just the girl who broke my heart when I first moved out here,” Jed said. “And I mean that in the nicest way possible. If it weren’t for her, I might have quit and moved home. She wanted to, you see. She wanted to leave. Told me if I didn’t leave with her, she’d go alone. And then I thought, well, I love her, so I’ll do what she wants. And then, as fate would have it, she goes and meets some random loser and fucks him.”

  I interrupted, “He wasn’t a random loser. It wasn’t like that.”

  They both ignored me and Jed continued, “And then she leaves me for him. And then, well, that lit a fire under me and the next thing I know, I’ve got my first movie in production. And the rest is history.”

  The real estate agent’s mouth was on the floor. I just wanted to crawl under the floor and hide from all of this. Well, one thing about it, I no longer had to wonder about how he felt about me. Jed definitely still held a grudge. Wow.

  There was a long moment of silence as both Jed and the real estate agent stared a
t me. I had to get out of there. This was the house of contention, no doubt about it. “Okay then,” I said. “I’ll let you two have your house tour.”

  “Why don’t you stay and show it to me?” Jed asked.

  The real estate agent shot daggers at me with her eyes. This was not something I wanted to do, I wanted to tell her, but instead said, “No, no, I’m really not qualified. Besides, I have a thousand things to do. You two have fun.”

  “Then I’m definitely not interested in buying it,” Jed said.

  The real estate glared at me and her eyes went even darker. I could tell she was formulating a plan to bring Quinn’s staging business down, so I quickly said, “Oh, why not? I can show it to you!”

  “Great,” Jed said and held out his elbow. “Let’s do it!”

  I smiled painfully and took his arm and showed him into the living room. “Well, this is the living room. We furnished it to showcase the great floor to ceiling windows. See how beautiful they are?” I stepped away from him and went over to the windows and pulled the curtains back.

  “They’re great,” he said flatly. “How many bathrooms?”

  I couldn’t remember. I glanced over at the real estate agent who’d quietly followed us into the room. She held up four fingers. “Four,” I said. “Four bathrooms.”

  “Has the kitchen been updated?”

  I thought about that beautiful, all white kitchen and my heart hurt a little. It would never be mine. I tried to smile as I said, “Oh, yeah.”

  “I’ll take it then,” he said and turned away from me. “Now, let’s go to lunch, Willa.” He paused and turned to the real estate agent. “Oh, and at asking, please. I am not getting into a bidding war again. Come on, Willa dear!”

  He walked out of the room, right past the real estate agent and then out of the house, again with assurance and confidence. He was manlier than I’d remembered. I mean, he’d always been manly, but now he’d matured and he was even more masculine.

  I turned to the real estate agent. “I can’t go to lunch with him!” I hissed.

  “You’d better,” she snapped. “Or I’ll call your boss.”

  I didn’t tell her that my boss would pretend to listen to what she said and then immediately forget it once the call was over. But it was kind of my fault Jed was being such a dick, so I decided to go along. I nodded at the agent, went outside and my jaw dropped to the ground. He was waiting for me in a brand new silver two-door Maserati. Wow. I’d never seen a car that I loved more on first sight. It was so cool and nice and new and looked really powerful. Like it could eat the road up or something. I wanted one just like it.