by Bebe Wilde
“Sorry about your head,” he said quietly.
“I am always bumping my head.”
“Yeah, you know, for being so short, you hit your head more than anyone I know.”
I glared at him. “That is not helping your cause.”
“Sorry,” he said. “Seriously, want me to take you to the hospital?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m okay,” I replied and stared at him. “I’ll be right back.”
I left the room and went into the powder room and got a bandage from the medicine cabinet. When I closed the door, he was standing behind me and I could see his reflection in the mirror. I jumped a little, then shook my head at him. “Make a little noise so I know you’re there, okay?” I said and turned to the mirror and started to put the bandage on.
“Here, let me,” he said and took it, then put it on my head. “Give me another one. This one will bleed through.”
I got him another one and he repeated the process. Then I looked in the mirror at my head. Damn, the bump was black and blue and the scrape was bloody. It’d be okay, though. I started out of the room, asking over my shoulder, “What were you doing here?”
“I just came to see my lady,” he said, following me.
I didn’t even go there. “Did it ever occur to you to ring the doorbell?” I asked and went back into the family room and sat on the sofa.
“I did and no one answered,” he said and sat back down on the ottoman to face me. “Then I tried the door and it was unlocked.”
“And then?” I asked.
“I looked around some,” he said, nodding to himself.
“How long have you been here?”
“For a while. You were asleep, so I just looked around the house while I waited for you to wake up,” he said. “Nice place you got here, Willa.”
“So you just wandered around my house?” I asked.
“I did,” he said.
“Did you find anything?” I asked.
“Like what?”
I didn’t reply, not really wanting to get anything started. I glanced out the window. The rain was stopping and it was getting lighter outside. Now it was morning and I had a lot of stuff I needed to get done. I was about to tell him that when he reached behind him and pulled out a big trophy and handed it to me.
“What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing?” I asked, thinking about all of these things in the garage back in LA.
“Sell it for scrap if you want,” he said. “I don’t care. What’s important is that I won.”
Yeah, that’s all that was important, wasn’t it? His surfing. I glared at him but kept my mouth shut about it, though.
“Did you at least like your ring?” he asked.
I thought about the beautiful engagement ring he’d given me, the one I still had in my purse. I turned to him and said, “It’s beautiful. Do you want it back or something?”
“No!” he exclaimed. “That’s yours!”
I just stared at him. “Whatever, Bear.” I sighed. “You know, I’m leaving today.”
“You’re not leaving,” he said.
“I am,” I told him and put the trophy on the end table. “Stop telling me what to do! After what you did to me?”
“What did I do other than do what you wanted?” he asked. “I was perfectly happy with our life, Willa. It was you that was unhappy.”
I knew that, so I didn’t respond.
“And shacking up with Jed?” he asked. “Seriously?”
“If by shacking up you mean staying in the same house with him, yes, I did.”
He glared at me.
“God! No! We never did anything,” I said, which wasn’t necessarily true. We kissed a few times and made out. That was it. It really pissed me off that I couldn’t have sex with him, that all I could think of was Bear. But Jed didn’t give me the same feelings as Bear did and for that reason, I always turned down sex from him.
“Then why is all his stuff upstairs?” he asked, anger flashing in his eyes.
“How long have I been out?” I asked.
“A few minutes,” he said. “But you were asleep for a long time.”
“How long have you been here?” I asked.
“A while,” he said. “You were always a really deep sleeper.”
I just stared at him.
“But anyway, when you fell, I had to find a washcloth for your head,” he said. “So I went upstairs and found one, okay? And in the bathroom was all this man stuff.”
Man stuff? Whatever. “Maybe he left some stuff,” I said. “I don’t know! He went back to LA. He’s got a movie that’s going to start shooting soon or something.”
“So you didn’t have sex with him?” he asked.
“No, we didn’t and that is the last time I will tell you that,” I said. “I have not had sex with Jed since I broke up with him to be with you. Now get out of here. I have to pack.”
I stood and then felt woozy. Maybe I should go to the hospital. He pushed me gently back down on the sofa.
“Hold on,” he said and left the room, then came back a few minutes later with a glass of orange juice. “Drink this.”
I didn’t ask why he thought orange juice would be the miracle cure for my head injury, but I took it. I stared at him as I sipped, then I got angry again. “Why are you here? You need to leave.”
“Why?” he said, looking around.
I groaned. “Jed isn’t here. I know that’s why you came here, isn’t it?”
“I don’t want him to touch you,” he muttered.
“I am not saying this again, so listen,” I said. “We haven’t done anything. Just leave! I have to pack!”
“You going back to LA?”
“No, I’m moving back home,” I said.
“Bullshit,” he said.
I shook my head. “No, I mean it. I’m moving back home to Tennessee.”
“I can’t come with you there, Willa,” he said. “There’s no beach. It’s land-locked!”
“I’m not asking you to come with me,” I snapped. “God! Just leave!”
“Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Because I need to pack,” I said and got up off the couch. I was beginning to feel a lot better. I started off to the kitchen to put the glass up. I said over my shoulder, “Obviously, you know where the door is, so use it.”
He got up and followed me. I ignored him, entered the kitchen and put the glass in the sink. I thought about how much I had to do before I left and sighed with frustration. Why had I booked that ticket so soon? Well, because I really wanted to get off this island.
“Willa,” he said. “We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to say, Bear,” I replied.
He seemed stumped for a moment. Suddenly he came over to me, grabbed my face and gave me a hard kiss. I tried to wiggle away but couldn’t. Of course, I gave in and started to kiss him back. He pulled back and grinned at me. I wanted to slap him. He was such a cocky bastard.
“It’s still there,” he said. “I knew it would be.”
“What?” I asked, almost seething.
“You know,” he muttered and eyed me. “I can tell that you still feel something for me even if you’re putting on this big act.”
I groaned and said, “Bear, listen to me. I know you’re a little pissed because you think I had sex with Jed or whatever. But you’re in no position to tell me what to do. I told you I gave you half of the money and I told you I have to leave. I have a lot to do before I can do that, so you need to leave.”
“You’re acting like it’s over,” he said.
Suddenly, I realized that I was just so tired of all this bullshit. Back and forth and back and forth… I just wanted it to be over so I could move on with my life. What we were doing was just plain exhausting. “Just tell me what you want, Bear,” I said, surrendering. “I won’t fight with you.”
“I just want you,” he said. “Now it�
�s this fucked up mess, isn’t it?”
“It is,” I said. “We both fucked up. I’ll admit fault but I can’t go back.” I paused. “How did you find my house?”
“I asked around,” he said casually. “You know, I knew you’d come here, to Hawaii. I knew I’d see you here.”
“How’s that?”
“You knew I always wanted to move here,” he said. “You came here to see me.”
He was probably right. That’s what I had most likely done. God! Would I never get this man out of my system? I was ruined, that’s all, he’d ruined me. I quickly changed the subject, “What now, Bear?”
“Willa, why can’t we just get over this and move on?” he said. “I really want to fuck you. It’s been too long.”
I groaned. Seriously? Was this what I was dealing with? It was. While the idea of getting busy with him had crossed my mind more than once since his sudden appearance in my house, I just couldn’t go there. Going there meant going back. I had to be strong.
“Please, let’s just get this over,” he begged.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m just too pissed at you. It’s like we won the lottery and then you disappeared. And you told me not to call you!”
“You could have told me that morning,” he said. “I know you knew about it. That’s why you were acting so weird!”
“I did tell you!”
“You told me but you didn’t tell me,” he said.
“And you told me not to call you, but I did anyway and you didn’t answer,” I said, bursting into tears. That’s what had gotten me. Calling and calling and calling him and him never answering. It was like there was no closure. It drove me mad, being ignored like that. It’s like I went crazy or something and it gave me this feeling of desperation, too. But the day did come with I stopped, when I’d had enough and I stopped calling. I thought I’d get over him after that but, of course, I hadn’t.
He came over and tried to take me in his arms but I pushed him away. We could not and would not get this started again. If it was over, if we were not meant to be, then so be it.
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer,” he said softly. “But I couldn’t. I had to do this, Willa, and you have to understand my reasons. If I had talked to you, I might have opted out.”
“That just sounds like you’re being superstitious,” I said and wiped at my eyes. “It’s just stupid.”
He stared into my eyes and said, “I never had a girlfriend when I competed. I knew it would be too distracting. When you are out there competing, you cannot be distracted.”
“Why not just break up with me? Why not just let me go? You left me hanging on like some idiot! I felt like a fool!”
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “That was wrong of me. But I couldn’t talk to you. I knew it would fuck up my game.”
I just stared at him. “Then why not just let me go?”
“You know I love you and that’s why,” he said. “But maybe it was being superstitious! Maybe I was being stupid but you got to understand that if I failed at this, I would have failed and looked like the world’s biggest loser. When I came back, I had to come back strong. I couldn’t get out there and fuck around. I had to kick ass and if I was talking to you every day and missing you like I did, I would have fucked up. You know how you get under my skin. You know how you drive me crazy. Sorry, but I couldn’t have that, Willa, and get back on top. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is.”
I stared at him and then I got it. I understood. It was fine, actually. Whatever. He had to prove himself, that’s all. But I was still over it. “Thank you for your honesty, but you have to know that I am past hurting over you,” I told him. “I have to leave. I have to go back home. That’s the only place I belong.”
“No, you belong with me,” he said. “Let’s just get this over, okay?”
“No,” I said. “It’s over, Bear. We’re done.”
“Fine,” he said. “But let me ask you this, though, what sent you over the edge? I mean, when you left for that week. Was it all the beer in the fridge?”
I thought about it and wiped at my eyes. “I think it was.”
“I told those assholes not to do that,” he said. “But they did it anyway.”
“Well, that’s water under the bridge,” I said and glanced at the clock on the wall. Oh, fuck! How was I going to make that flight? “I have to get going. I have to leave here soon.”
He studied me for a long second, then looked around. “You don’t really want to leave, Willa.”
“I don’t really want to stay, either,” I replied.
“I don’t know what to say to that,” he said. “Another impasse?”
“Another impasse,” I muttered.
“Why don’t we talk about something else, then?” he asked. “I love this place. Is it yours?”
I nodded. “It’s yours, if you want it. You always wanted to live in Hawaii. I’ll gift it to you.”
He shrugged and walked to the window, looking out. “It’s yours,” he said. “Damn, Willa. You certainly picked out the best house on the island. And look at that water. I bet the swells are sweet here!”
“They are,” I said. “I watch them every morning.” And I did, like some dumbass, imagining him out there doing his thing and then coming into the house and fucking my brains out.
“We could have had it all,” he muttered.
It was like a knife in my heart, his words. But we’d both ruined it. There was no going back. I had to move forward. He could stay stuck if he wanted to but I sure as hell wasn’t. “Bear, I’m serious, I have to go,” I said.
He turned to me and nodded slightly. “Let me check your head.” He came over to me and bent down, looking at the bump on my head. “Want me to take you to the hospital?”
“It’s fine,” I said and felt the bump. “I’ll be okay.”
He sighed and stared into my eyes, then chuckled.
“What is it?”
“You’re just so beautiful,” he said. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Then why didn’t you call me?” I asked.
“We already discussed that,” he said. “You have to believe what I told you. It’s not bullshit.”
I just stared at him.
“Come here,” he said and pulled me into a big hug.
I went with it, with the hug, allowing him to embrace me, wishing all this stuff hadn’t happened, wishing we could go back to the way we were. But that was past, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it too late for that? All couples have bumps in the road, but this was more like a detour. Which way to go? Left or right?
He pulled back and then grabbed both of my hands and kissed them. I knew where this was going, so I pulled them back and shook my head. He didn’t even pause. He leaned over and kissed my temple, then the bump on my head, then he brushed his lips across mine.
“No,” I said, though I knew it was futile.
“Shh,” he muttered as his lips grazed my neck.
“No, Bear,” I whispered, though I think I would have died if he’d stopped. God, I had missed him so much. What was it about him that did this to me? It had to be some sort of chemical reaction. Maybe it was just plain old biology. Maybe that was it.
“Please stop,” I murmured, though I knew he wasn’t going to. So, when he kissed me, bending me backwards, I was suddenly overcome with lust. It’s like we went right back to where both of us were most comfortable—having sex. Even so, I grabbed onto his face and licked at his mouth, then kissed and sucked at his neck.
He grabbed me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist and then he put me on the kitchen counter. He was all over me, kissing me, grabbing at my breasts, pulling my shorts and panties off so I was naked from the waist down. He got on his knees between my legs and licked me from top to bottom, then back up again. I shuddered with how good that felt, with how much I missed him, moaning with such intense pleasure I thought I’d combust from the heat I suddenly felt.
But I wanted him inside of me. I wanted to feel all of him inside all of me. I pulled him up, kissing him, licking at his lips, unable to stop. He kissed and licked back, then I unzipped his pants and pushed them down. His cock was hard and ready. Once he pushed it inside of me, I realized what I had most missed about him. The thought almost cracked me up and I smiled at little, as he filled me up, giving me what I needed most.
And so, we just fucked. That’s what we did. All the months of not seeing each other had really taken its toll. I couldn’t get enough of him and he couldn’t get enough of me. His shirt was off and I was grabbing onto his nipples, squeezing them and then he was biting at mine through my shirt. I pulled it over my head and threw it to the side and he grabbed my bra and pulled it apart. It fell off me as he pounded into me. He paused for a second and I started grinding against him until I felt it, the orgasm, coming at me, slowly, then more quickly as it gained momentum, as it gained control of me. He began to fuck me harder than he’d ever fucked me, taking me, every square inch of my body, mind and soul, with him. He took my heart, too, but then again, he’s always had it. He began to come and as he came, we kissed and we kissed and we kissed. I kissed him hard, loving everything about him, letting him back into my heart, wanting him there. I mean, who was I fooling? We were meant to be together. Why fight it? Why even qualify it with words?
“Phew,” he said after it was all said and done. “I’ve missed that.”
I grinned and kissed him again. “Me too.”
“So does this mean we’re back together?” he asked.
“It does,” I said. “But let’s not discuss it. Let’s just move forward, okay? I’m tired of fighting. Is that okay?
