Broken by Desire

by Dani René

  Fuck this, I can’t do it, I need to speak to my girl.

  Cassandra

  Once Jayce and Lucien left, I round on Kenna. “You need to tell me what’s going on.” Her giggle confirms it. “You and Jayce?” She nods.

  “I hope it will not be weird for you?”

  “No, it won’t. Jayce and I were just a fling. Nothing serious. The fact that he’s moved on is good. As long as you’re happy. I need to go pack, Luke wants me to move in with him until this shit is sorted.” I turn to my room, with Kenna hot on my heels.

  “You’re moving in?” She screeches. I nod, as I pull my suitcase from the closet. As soon as I set it on the bed, I unzip it. When I glance over at Kenna, I can see she’s dying to ask me something.

  “What?” I stop what I am doing and face her. Crossing my arms over my chest, I realize it’s a sign of defense, but I don’t feel like discussing Luke and me right now. Things are not ideal, but it’s not like I am moving in permanently, he’s just trying to keep me safe.

  “Moving in is a big step and after everything that’s happened babe, are you sure you want to?” When I flop on the bed, I lay back and stare at the ceiling.

  “I do Kenna. Losing him again is not an option for me. We need to be together forever. There is no way I can live without him.” I turn to face her and I see her smile. She always understands me before I even understand myself.

  “Babe, I realize that, I just want you to be happy and he makes you happy, I can see it in your eyes. The way he looks at you is something I have never had.” She’s quiet as she stares at me. I know she’s trying to assess my feelings. “He’s your one isn’t he?” I nod, tears threaten to spill, but I blink them back. I am in love. He is the man I want to spend my forever with. I can’t imagine my life without him. You’re happy Cassie, roll with it!

  “He is, there’s something inside him that fixes me. And I think I do the same to him. When we’re apart it’s like I am ripped in half. You know?” I glance at her, but she doesn’t understand, she’s never been in love. I remember even when we were younger, she always enjoyed being free, single. Like Jayce.

  “Then go for it. I spent too much time sitting by and waiting for you to start finding love again, you’re like my sister and I don’t want to see you hurt again. Although, I don’t think he will hurt you. He seems too fucking obsessed with you. Broken by desire, fixed by love. Now that sounds like a love song.” I roll my eyes and we giggle. When my eyes meet hers, she smiles and I can see she’s happy for me.

  “Right, and you’re so happy I am broken?”

  “Nope, happy he fixed you, even if it was with his cock.” I gasp at her brazen words and launch a pillow at her head. “Hey! I was only stating the obvious.” We explode into fits of giggles.

  “You’re crazy you know that!” Sitting up, I stare at the empty suitcase. I realize nothing can prepare me for moving in with Lucien.

  “That’s why we’re friends, we understand each other. Come we will have a few drinks. I think a girls’ night is needed.” She jumps up and stands in the doorway. Her questioning gaze on me.

  “Fine, you pour the wine, I will pack. We can drink in here.” I giggle when she gives me an incredulous smirk. “What?”

  “You are so in love aren’t you?” I smile and nod. “Finally! Took you long enough. Now it’s time for wine!” Kenna leaves me to pack. My phone buzzes next to me, grabbing it I swipe the screen and see a message from Lucien.

  * I miss you already. Wish you were here, what are you doing? *

  I hit reply.

  * I am packing actually, my boyfriend asked me to move in with him *

  Turning to my closet, I grab a few pairs of sweats, tops and a few outfits for work. I wonder if he will forbid me to go to work as well. Shaking my head at the dominating man who’s stolen my heart. My suitcase is almost full when my phone buzzes again.

  * Really? He’s a lucky bastard. I hope you’re packing sexy lingerie *

  I giggle and hit reply. “Are you two sexting?” When I spin around Kenna is watching me with a shrewd stare and I blush. “OMG you two definitely need an island to yourselves.” Her laugh is infectious and I poke my tongue at her.

  “Don’t be jealous.” I retort.

  “Yea, I wonder if Jayce is up for a session of text teasing.” She looks thoughtful and smirks.

  “Ugh, Kenna, TMI babe, please?” This is something I missed, time with my best friend. “I missed you, babe, sorry I have been so wrapped up in Luke.” Turning to her, I grab her in a tight embrace.

  “Seriously, Cass, I am just glad to see you’re getting some and it’s made you less of a grumpy bitch.” I know she’s teasing, but I swat her arm. “Hey! You were grumpy. You do realize that if you don’t get any you turn into a devil woman.”

  “So do you. Just by the way.” She hands me a glass, and I take a gulp of wine, when my phone buzzes again.

  * Sweetness? Did you get lost in your lingerie drawer? *

  Giggling at his message, I hit reply.

  * No, I was talking to Kenna. And I will think about including lingerie in my packing *

  “Okay, so tell me. Do you think Luke will ever propose?” My gaze shoots up and I frown. Do I want him to? Yes, I do. I really want that with him, to share forever with him, but does he want it to?

  “To be honest, I have no idea. I mean, he’s been through so much. It’s also very soon. We’ve only been together for a few months, well technically, we broke up for two months in between. I mean—”

  “Don’t make excuses, I can see you want it Cass.” Lucien’s next message interrupts us.

  * Lingerie is optional. I prefer you naked, tied up, and blindfolded anyway. There is nothing I want more than to wake up next to you. *

  I can’t help the blush on my face from his text. “There is no doubt that I want it Kenna.” The words leave my mouth as I stare at his message. I do want to wake up next to him, forever. “This… I don’t even know what to call it, I mean it seems like every time we make progress we get pushed back and it’s exhausting.” Kenna flops onto the bed next to my full suitcase. Before she answers my phone rings. “Hello?”

  “I wondered if you had forgotten about me already.” Lucien’s tone is playful and I smile.

  “With a glass of wine and my best friend, the only thing missing is you.” I glance at Kenna and she’s making gagging noises.

  “Tell Kenna to behave. Doesn’t she have Jayce to go flirt with?” I giggle.

  “Luke says you should go and flirt with Jay.” Her head drops back and she laughs out loud.

  “Tell him not to order me around, if he’s stealing you I deserve a few days.” Before I can relay her message Luke answers.

  “Okay, okay. I will call you later. Message me when you’re in bed. Okay babe?”

  “Yes. I will. Chat later.”

  “I love you.”

  “And I love you.” I hang up before he can respond because I know we will end up on the phone for another hour. Not that I mind, but I need time with Kenna.

  “You two, are seriously whipped. It’s adorable.” She holds up her empty glass, beckoning me to finish mine. Gulping the last of the chilled Chardonnay, I hand my glass to her.

  “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

  “Nope, just tipsy enough to tell me all about Jayce.” I follow her to the living room.

  “What do you want to know about him?”

  “Well, you know him better than I do. What is he like?”

  “Is this a test? You want to see if I have feelings for him?” Crossing my arms over my chest, I watch her reaction and it’s obvious that is what she’s up to. I don’t blame her. She turns and nods. “Okay, well, he’s sweet, he can be very romantic, and he’s definitely good in bed.” The words leave my lips and I grin. I have to be honest and that was it. I couldn’t deny the fact that he definitely was an amazing lover.

  “See, was that so hard? It’s not weird, so stop acting like it is.” Handing me the
topped up glass, she winks and I relax. “Now, let’s talk about you and Luke, if you’re living together surely it’s a lot more serious than you’re letting on?”

  I nod, “I guess so, I mean things are all kinds of fucked up right now.” I grab the remote and press play. My Luke play list starts and I smile. I created it when we first met, it’s kind of like my mixed tape. I turn back to Kenna. “When he found out I didn’t tell him about my miscarriage he totally flipped. I understand why. There is a lot we needed to learn about each other. We’re both completely fucking broken, Kenna. His past is almost as dark as mine if not more.” My eyes glaze over from staring at the floor. I can’t meet her eyes. There are so many things I can’t tell her about him.

  “Cass, do you trust him? I mean, that he won’t hurt you. Physically.”

  “No! He wouldn’t! I trust him with all I have. Yes, he is a lot more than I am use to. There is something in his control, his dominance that I love. He fills an empty space inside me that no one else ever could, like I am whole again. It’s like he takes those shattered fragments of me and glues them together.” I smile at the way my heart pounds when he’s near. My body instinctively aches for him in ways I have never known, but that’s for my mind only.

  “So he’s the whips and chains kind of guy?” My gaze flits up to her and my eyes are as wide as dinner plates. “Oh come off it, I am not a virgin!” I giggle and my thoughts drift to Luke and the play room. “Okay, get your mind out of the gutter, I know you’re thinking about his cock.” Sometimes Kenna can be so direct, I am blushing from being caught.

  “Shhh! Do you have to be so vulgar?”

  “It’s the truth!”

  “I know,” fits of giggles ensue and soon it feels like old times. I am happy, despite everything that’s going on right now, life seems to be okay. This time it’s Kenna’s phone that buzzes, as soon as she opens the message there’s a smile on her face that makes it obvious who it is. “Call him! I am going to head to bed.” Getting up I give her a hug and head to the kitchen. I fill the kettle, and turn it on. My mind is wrapped up in images of Lucien and me. The thought of marrying him has now been ingrained in my head and I can’t help, but imagine it. If only we could get past these threats. A cup of chai tea is what I need, and a call to my sexy domineering man. Who knew I would want someone that loved tying me to his bed, pouring hot wax on my body. The thought of those moments have my nipples pebbled and I can’t help the heat between my thighs.

  When I make my way to my bedroom with my tea, I close the door. I set the suitcase on the floor, I change into my shorts and tank top. Sliding into bed, I pick up my phone. Luke’s number is first, and I hit dial.

  “Sweetness, I thought you would never call.”

  “Mr. Verán, I was wondering what you were doing?”

  “I am sitting in my office, working on some documents for my meeting tomorrow. What are you doing baby?”

  “I am laying on my bed.” Taking a sip of the warm tea soothes my nerves. I haven’t ever really spoken to Luke for any amount of time like this, we’re normally together, and hearing his deep raspy voice makes me miss him more.

  “The perfect place for you, bed. Tell me what you’re wearing?” He’s definitely not thinking about paperwork at the moment.

  “I am wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top, Mr. Verán.” I giggle when I hear his sharp intake of breath and I know there is no way in hell I won’t get a spanking for teasing him.

  “What’s under those shorts, sweetness?” Heat prickles over my skin and heat flushes my cheeks.

  “Nothing.” My answer is barely audible and I hear his breathing become harsher and heavier on the other end of the line. Grabbing the remote next to my bed, I turn on the sound system and the voices of Little Mix, the song Secret Love Song fills the quiet of the dimly lit bedroom.

  “Cassandra, you do realize what you’ve just done to me?” Lucien’s voice is low and the growl that follow his words tell me exactly what he means and my body hums with desire.

  “No, why don’t you tell me?” My voice is low.

  “You’ve made my cock rock hard. What do you intend doing about it, Cassandra?” Electricity shoots through me. My nipples are hard against the soft cotton of my tank top and I imagine Lucien’s expert mouth teasing me.

  “Would you like me on my knees in front of you, Sir? My mouth open ready to take you into my throat? To swallow every inch of you.” I blush furiously at my brazen words, I have always been shy about talking dirty, but Lucien makes me do things that take me from my comfort zone into unknown amazing places.

  A deep growl from him tells me that he would very much like me on my knees in front of him. “You’re such a dirty girl for me, Cassandra. Put your hand inside your shorts. Stroke that sweet bare cunt for me.” I whimper as I obey his order and find myself slick. “Is my girl wet?”

  “Mmhmmm.” Words fail me as my eyes flutter closed and I imagine Lucien stroking me.

  “Good, I have my cock in my hand. I wish I was sliding into that beautiful dirty mouth of yours.” A moan escapes my lips and I slide my fingers inside my heated core. “Are you fingering your tight pussy for me, Cassandra?”

  “Yes, Sir.” My whisper a soft moan.

  “I love your sounds. They’re so beautiful, just like you my sweetness. I want to slide into your tight heat so badly right now. I want to bend you over my desk, rip off those tiny shorts. I bet they’re soaked with honey, aren’t they, Cassandra?” His words have my body shuddering, so close to the edge.

  “Lucien…”

  “Yes, baby, that’s it, feel my hard cock fucking you deep. Come for me, Cassandra.” His words send me to my release. My body trembling as waves of pleasure rip through me. He’s quiet for a while as I ride out my orgasm. “Fuck it. I can’t do this. Don’t go to sleep.”

  Without another word I hear the line go dead. I open my eyes and I realize he’s hung up on me. What the fuck? That was so freaking strange! I get up and make my way to the bathroom. My legs are still shaky from the orgasm. I brush my teeth and take in my appearance in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and a giggle escapes, I can’t believe I just did that. Butterflies flip flop in my stomach.

  When I walk into the bedroom, I slip under the covers and grab my phone. No message from Luke. I wonder what happened to him. He said not to go to sleep, but what am I supposed to do? He just left me like that. I hear muffled voices in the living room and suddenly my door flies open. With a startled gasp I glance into Lucien’s olive green eyes. “Luke!”

  He closes the door, and steps into the room. His body is over me in seconds. “I needed to be inside you.” Before I have a chance to respond his mouth is over mine, sealing it with a deep luscious kiss and I moan, arching my body into him. Our tongues tangle and I suck his into my mouth, tasting him, sweet and spicy and so damn good. Just Lucien. His fingers dance across my collarbone and up to my neck, teasing feather light touches to the spot behind my ear and my body hums with pleasure. “You made me rock hard, sweetness. I couldn’t not be inside you.” He says when he finally pulls away.

  “So you decided to drive to my apartment at… What is it? Midnight?” I giggle at the incredulous look on his face.

  “Did you expect me to sleep with a hard on?” His teeth tug on my earlobe sending sweet shivers down my spine, goose bumps rise over my skin and I whimper, pressing myself into him again. “I needed that hot tight pussy to sheath me, then I want to come inside you deep and hard.” The rasp in his voice turns me into a mess of molten lava.

  “Please Luke?” His eyes meet mine and a sexy smile curves his lips. He kneels up on the bed, pulling his T-shirt off and I glance down, noticing the straining bulge behind his zipper.

  “Yes, Cassandra, this is what I had to sit with all the way to your apartment.” He answers my question without me asking. Lucien pushes up off the bed, he unzips his jeans and tugs them down along with his boxer briefs. His impressive erection is standing proud and I can’t wait to have h
im inside me. He leans over to tug my shorts down my thighs, licking his lips when he takes in my bare pussy.

  “You look good enough to eat, but that’s for later, right now I want to fuck you.” In an instant Lucien is hovering over me and his cock is at my core, teasing me relentlessly. My hips raise to meet his, he plunges into me deep and hard, leaving me breathless. “Fuck, your pussy is so tight sweetness!”

  My legs lock around Lucien’s taut waist. I pull him into me. My back arches. With every deep drive into me, I whimper. My core clenches around him. “That’s my gorgeous girl. Come for me lumiére, I want to own you, possess you.” His teeth graze my neck as my release renders me speechless. My heated tunnel cinches around him and I writhe below the only man who could ever make me whole. Lucien stills inside me and watches with a look of adoration in his eyes. “You are fucking beautiful when you’re under me, coming on my cock.” His movements are slow and steady, making me climb higher and higher.

  “I love you Lucien.” My words are strangled.

  “I love you my lumiére.” He moves inside me faster and deeper. “I want you forever.” His words crash over me as he slams into me. He drives in to the hilt, sending me to the edge of another earth shattering orgasm. My thighs tighten around his waist when suddenly he rolls over without losing contact between us. “I want to watch you.” His grip on my hips are vice like. I move on top of him, feeling him hit a spot inside me that sends pulses through me. His hooded gaze looks hungry and my hips move faster. “That’s my girl, ride my fucking cock.” His crude words making my body tremble, our gazes lock on each other and his cock twitches and thickens inside me. He fills me perfectly. I smile down at him, scratching my nails over the sculpted planes of his chest and abs. A growl low in his chest ignites the heat in my body as our orgasms come crashing down in unison. “My lumiére!” I collapse on top of him, his arms wrap around me and I can hear his racing heart.