Broken by Desire

by Dani René

“Yes.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Cassie.”

  “My mind is just all over the place. Sorry handsome.”

  “It will be okay baby, I promise. I will make it okay.” Lucien laces his fingers through mine and we walk to the elevator. When it pings open Robert is inside waiting for me.

  “Home safe darling. I will call you tonight, be ready.” His words sending shivers down my spine. I can only imagine what he has in mind.

  Lucien

  I make my way back up to the office. The team are sitting at the conference table. I didn’t tell Cassie about the paperwork yet. I want her safe. She will find out soon enough. I have a plan and I want nothing messing it up, mainly, I don’t want Cassie in any danger. “Team. Robert had to escort Ms. Winters home. I will officiate the meeting. This is the paperwork we need. I want surveillance on both Sasha Alexander and Claudia Verán. I need more information on Isabel, apparently she is Claudia’s daughter.”

  Daniel rakes over the information and passes it on to the rest of the team. I brief them on how the evening will play out at the event. When they’ve left, I sit back in my chair thinking over what Cassie’s mom told me. My dad never mentioned being with anyone other than my mom. I guess it makes sense. It was before I was born. My phone pulls me from my thoughts. “What’s up Jayce?”

  “I am on my way up to you now. Did you talk to the guys yet?”

  “Yea. Come up and I will explain.”

  I tug at my tie; it feels like a noose around my neck. Undoing it, I throw it on the desk. I text Cassie to let her know I will call her later. Jayce walks in and gives me a smirk of satisfaction. He drops a phone on the desk with a thud and I stare at him. “What’s this?”

  “Sasha’s phone.”

  “What? How did you get this?”

  “I have my ways, check the latest message thread.” I unlock the screen and open the messages’ app. There’s a long conversation between her and Claudia and a few from Isabel. The plan they had, was for my proposal to Isabel to take place the night of the ball which we had found out a few days ago. There’s something else though. My gaze darts up to Jayce. So Sasha wants the publishing company and Claudia promised her that. From the last message to Claudia, my heart stops. Isabel is fucking deranged. She’s going to hurt Cassie.

  “Is this?” He nods, there’s a dangerous expression on his face. His feelings for Cassie run deep. “I need to get to Cassie, she can’t be alone. Is Robert with her?” I can’t remember if I told him to stay with her. Fuck, my mind is so fragmented.

  “He’s there, I checked when I found the messages. Go. I will see you both later, I need to get the phone back.” Not giving it a second thought, I grab my phone and laptop, shoving it in my briefcase. Jayce and I leave the office and make our way to the elevators, stepping in and pressing the call button. “Do you need a ride?”

  “I have the Aston here.” The doors open when we reach the basement and we walk to our respective cars. Before I get in, Jayce calls out to me.

  “Take care of her.” I nod. Once I am in the car, I tear out of the garage and speed down the quiet streets to my girl.

  Cassandra

  I unlock the door of my apartment. Robert enters first and I follow close behind him. He does a quick sweep of the place. When it’s clear he nods and leaves letting me know he will be in the car just outside. I need a hot shower and I need time to think about everything that Lucien said. He’s adamant we can make this work, but I don’t see how it’s possible without his father’s will. I make my way into the bathroom, turn on the shower and strip. Once inside, and I am under the hot spray, my muscles ease with the tension that had turned me into a bundle of knots. I can’t imagine living my life without Lucien, I want to fight for our relationship. With my eyes closed, I try and calm my thoughts. I enjoy the water beating down on my back and shoulders, easing the tension.

  If he proposes there is no doubt of what my answer would be. Stop it Cassie! Just relax, let things fall into place, the way they’re meant to do. Just let Lucien ask you when he’s ready. The problem is will he ever be ready. I know he said he wants a forever with me. My doubts cloud my thoughts, they always do.

  After everything I have been through, it’s normal. Instinctively my hand goes to my belly. My gaze falls and my gut wrenches at the thought of what I did. What I could have had, but deep down I know that I was too young, too fucked up to ever consider keeping a baby. Adoption would have been the best option for me. To a home where he or she could be loved. When I blink tears get washed away with the spray of the shower. Almost as if they won’t stop. I stand there wallowing in the pain that grips my heart as the water runs cold. I need Luke so much right now.

  When the water is ice cold, I realize I need to get out of the shower. I turn off the taps, and grab my towel. My reflection in the steamy mirror is foreign, gone is that happy girl I saw not so long ago in Hawaii. So much has happened in the months I have been with Luke. We broke up once, I slept with his best friend twice, and now we’re here, being threatened by his step-mother, where he could be engaged to someone else in a few days’ time. The worst part was his father passing away. The funeral was so difficult, because Luke and I had to be apart, I couldn’t even console him.

  Next week is Christmas and the only thing I want to do is spend the day with people I love. I think we should have dinner at Luke’s. That is if his plan works. We could invite Kenna and Jayce. As soon as I walk back into my bedroom, my phone buzzes from the nightstand. “Hello handsome.”

  “Took you long enough in that shower.” His voice one of amusement and frustration. My fears evaporate and the pain leaves when I hear his voice. How can one person turn your life around with just a few words. The pieces of me slowly mend with just the sound of his voice. With his touch he surrounds me in safety, and when he is inside me I am complete. Then it dawns on me what he said.

  “How did you—”

  “Because I am behind you.” I spin around, and sure enough Lucien is standing there dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans and a grey T-shirt. He steps towards me and tugs at the towel. “You look lovely flushed and dressed in a towel, but it’s that shocked expression I find so alluring.”

  “But,” I sputter, how did he even get in the apartment.

  “Baby, just accept that I am in your bedroom and I need you.” Goose bumps rise over my skin and my nipples pebble at the icy breeze and Lucien’s lustful gaze.

  I grab at my towel again, wrapping it around me and flopping onto the bed. “Stop being so god damn confident.” I am not sure why I am frustrated, but I am. When he slides onto the bed next to me, I can’t help breathing in his intoxicating scent. It smells of spice and Lucien. It’s his smell, inexplicably him.

  “I thought you liked me being over confident, and I missed you. You need to trust my love for you and only you. Forever. Now will you drop the towel?” A suppressed giggle escapes my lips and I glance at him. My gaze drinks in his appearance and I point to his clothes.

  “You first, handsome.” In one swift move, Lucien pulls his T-shirt up and over his head. I drink in the perfect planes of his chest and abs. They never fail to make me gasp, but it’s when he stands up, drops his jeans and boxer briefs, I lose my train of thought. I take in the exquisitely sculpted man and I am instantly aching with a need so strong, all I can do is stand up and drop my towel.

  “I could look at you forever, sweetness.” Lucien’s hungry gaze travels over me, sending a shiver of excitement over my skin. He leans in, his hot breath on my face and I savor it. Our bodies are flush and his rigid erection presses against my stomach. How can I ache for him all the time? My body responds and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into me.

  “And I you Lucien.”

  Lucien

  We’re laying in bed, my arm wrapped around her. My heart is racing and I wonder if she can hear it. It’s time to come clean, I have to tell her. “Baby.” I whisper in the darkness and I hope she’s asleep. Why? Because I am sca
red shitless that she will leave me when I tell her that her mother is alive and I hid it from her. I stopped at home before coming to see her, so I have the box with me. The letters her mother mentioned were in there. Along with a few photographs. One of Cassie and me on the first day I ever saw her. The day I knew she would one day be my wife, even though I was young, she had affected me. It’s a strange feeling.

  “Mmmm…” She’s so adorable when she’s sleepy.

  “Can we talk?”

  “Luke, you just near killed me with amazing sex. And you want to talk now?” Her giggle echoes through the bedroom and I chuckle.

  “I didn’t kill you, you’re still talking. Are you ready for another round? I know I am.” Giving her a cheeky wink. I roll my hips and her low murmur is evidence that she can feel my cock, it’s rock hard again.

  “Luke. You’re insatiable.”

  “And you my darling are gorgeous.” When Cassie rolls over, I can see her mocha eyes sparkling with amusement.

  “What did you want to talk about?”

  I reach over and turn on the light. The lamp on the night stand offers a soft glow in the room. I scoot up in bed and reach for the box, I left on my side of the bed. Unlatching it, I pull out two envelopes. I haven’t read mine yet, but it’s time. Time for me and Cassie to finally put out past to rest and move forward. The ball is next week, and I want to show her I have moved on from my past, only because she is in my life. As much as she thinks I own her, she owns me, heart, mind, body and soul. There is nothing in this life, or the next that I wouldn’t do for her. To see her smile is the only thing that pulls me from the demons of my past, propelling me into the future, with her.

  “What’s that?” I hand her one, and I keep the one addressed to me.

  “It’s our history. The path that lead us here and why we are in this bed, together. There are things we need to know. There are things you need an explanation for.” I glance at her. My nerves are taking over and I am not sure if this was a good idea.

  “Our past?” I hand her two old photographs. Her eyes rake over them and her stare pins me. There is shock in her expression, but in her eyes is something I didn’t think I would see. Love. “This… It’s… But how?”

  “Do you remember that day?” Cassie smiles and I can see she remembers it as clearly as I do. “Well, my father reminded me, when you were… Onsite at the last photo shoot. He reminded me of that day.” I place my hand on hers, the electricity shooting straight to my cock. Fuck, Verán, get a hold of yourself. My hunger for her never goes away. “That day I told my father I would marry you one day.” The words come out as a rushed whoosh and her eyes cut to me.

  “You…”

  “Cassie, I just want you to know, I love you. No matter what’s in that letter.” I point to the faded envelope on her lap and sit back.

  “What do you mean? What is it?” She rips the flap open and pulls it out. I follow suit and open mine. We sit in silence for a long while and her body is trembling next to me. I snake my arm around her shoulders and pull her into the crook of my arm. When I glance at my letter again, the pain in my heart leaves me breathless. My father will never see me marry Cassie, never meet our grandkids.

  “My mother? She’s alive. But…”

  “Cassie…”

  “Luke, please take me to her? Tell me about her? What is she like?” My breath lets out in a heavy whoosh. She’s not angry. There must have been a damn good explanation in that letter to have kept her calm. “You met her didn’t you. This letter says that she’s alive. Did you see her?” I nod, still not sure if she’s going to lose it or not. “Luke.”

  “Cassie. When all this is over I will contact her and we can meet with her. There are things she told me. About Claudia. This shit needs to be put to an end. We will sort this out. Trust me.” I look deep into those chocolate eyes and I can see that she trusts me.

  “Okay, then I want to meet her. I need to see her face and hear her voice.” I nod. Then I remember the pendant. When I got home earlier I forgot mine on my nightstand.

  “Do you have that pendant my father gave you?”

  She nods and leans over, opening the top drawer of the chest next to her side of the bed. As soon as she hands me the pendant, I turn it over and read the back. It’s the poem. The poem is perfect, describing our relationship perfectly.

  My light in the dark,

  Pieces fit like a puzzle,

  Twin flames, Soul mates,

  My lumiére, forever

  “This is what your mother mentioned when I saw her last.” I hand the pendant to her. Her eyes dart to mine and she gives me that soft sweet smile that makes my heart soar.

  “Tell me everything. This is incredible, she’s out there. I am not alone. Why didn’t she find me?” Whatever was in that letter was my saving grace, because I was expecting more shouting and a little less smiling. I tug her into the crook of my arm, and start the story. Reveling at how she fits against me so perfectly.

  “You’re never alone when you have me, baby. I promise you that you will never want for anything. When we met, I wasn’t the guy that would give you forever. Now, after these seven months with you, I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” She blinks back tears, but deep down I know they’re happy ones. This is the girl who took a playboy, only out for a one-night stand, and she’s changed my outlook on life. On love. On forever.

  We laid in bed for the rest of the night talking. I told her about her mother and she told me about things she remembers about me. About the day we first met as children.

  Dear Luca,

  My son, I am so proud of you and the man you’ve become. I always have been and I always will be. There were secrets I kept from you, but I kept them because you needed to find your own way. Now that you’re grown and you’ve found love, I want you to trust and be happy. You deserve that and so much more. Keep in your heart the knowledge that wherever I am, I will forever watch down on you.

  No matter what is happening you will always find your solace in your lumiére. There are times that may seem like the world is against you, but Luca, you need to be strong. There is a lot that will stand in your way, through life, and through being with the one person who makes you whole.

  I have taught you from a young age to fight, for your dreams, your beliefs, and for what you want. When you find a love as pure as yours there will be no dissuading it. Nothing can prepare you for losing her, so don’t give up. I made that mistake. I may be an old man, and you may think this is an old sob story, but I am speaking from experience.

  There will always be that one person that can pull your heart from the darkest cave and shine a light on it so bright you are blinded. When you’re broken, when those pieces you’ve been ripped into don’t fit anymore, she’s the only one who will be able to put you back together. The same goes for you. She will need you to be hers as much as you need her.

  I am not there now, to see you get married. To see my grandchildren grow up, but I know in my heart that you will be an incredible father. Alongside her, you both will be the perfect parents and I know that you will make me proud. More than you have done already.

  As much as I have given you grief about your love life you will find happiness, somehow I think as you sit there reading this, she is in your arms already. Remember, life isn’t easy, neither is love, that’s why you need appreciate everything that you have. I always wanted the very best for you. Take each day as it comes, but also, love, laugh, don’t ever give up, and never let her out the door without saying “I love you”.

  If you’re ever in doubt, ask yourself three questions:

  Is her smile the one that lights your darkness?

  When you’re with her, do you feel like the world is full of possibilities?

  When you’re on your death bed, is her face the last thing you want to see?

  No, I am not being morbid, I am being honest. If you answered yes to those three questions, then you have your answer. Then you know you’ve found yo
ur lumiére.

  Forever

  Dad x

  Chapter 29

  Lucien

  I open my eyes with Cassie’s arm draped around me, and can’t help smiling. We fell asleep as the sun was coming up over the horizon. The ball will be where all this shit ends. What I have planned will shock everyone. For the first time in days, weeks and maybe even months my hope that Cassie and I would get a break will not go to waste. Something good will happen, and I would make sure of it.

  “Morning handsome.” Her sweet smile makes my heart swell.

  “I love waking up to you, baby.” I pull her in for a kiss, needing to feel her warmth. We have three days and then this will all be over. I pull away and lock my gaze with hers. “This will work out. I can promise you that in three days this shit will be gone.” The ball will be on Tuesday evening. Only two days before Christmas, and what an explosive day that will be.

  “So, you want me at the ball?” She rolls over and looks at me. Why would she even ask me that? Of course she has to be there. I wouldn’t want her anywhere else.

  “You have to be there. With my plan, it will only work if my girl is there.” This girl has taken my life, my heart and mind, turned it upside down and all I want to do is be with her. After last night, there is so much that we have already overcome, and if her mom and my dad really believe in us, there has to be some truth in it. I wanted her for so long, wanted to own her, possess her and now I have her, there is no way I am letting her go.

  “I always trust you Luke.” Her fingers brush the hard planes of my body, dipping into the deep ridges of my abs. Her touch is like an electric current which shoots straight to my cock. She trails a gentle line down the chiseled V that’s pointing to the soft white sheet covering my hips. It’s taking all my restraint not to pin her to the bed and fuck her senseless.