Secrets of the Past

by Wendy Backshall

  I realized I was heading for the river, scene of the crime it felt like now. Not the wonderful tranquil place I used to feel when I was here all those times before.

  I hesitated as I looked over, but it was fine, the waves swaying in the current.

  I stood watching the boats pass.

  There was tape the police had put up blowing in the wind, bollards all knocked over near the scene.

  My thoughts were for the young woman who was there when I visited last, was she married?

  Did she have kids?

  It is just so awful to think how she ended up there.

  I then noticed Zoë almost upon me.

  She said.

  “Hi, how are you?”

  I replied, “Oh you what do you want, why do you keep bothering me?”

  “Geoff isn’t it has he been to round to see you.”

  She replied.

  “Yes he has, he tried to kill me, he broke in my flat while I was in my bath and tried to throttle me ok, now leave me alone.” I said.

  Her reply seemed panicky.

  “I am so sorry, but I did warn you.”

  Warned me I thought, as though this was my fault.

  Then someone called out loudly her name. It was him again.

  She started shaking, saying,

  “Go now I will deal with him.”

  But could I leave her alone with this maniac, but I like a coward did run, I was terrified, I ran towards the castle, not looking back, I ran all the way until I was so puffed I sat on bench by the museum, in the high street.

  I checked but could not see them, so made my way home, not noticing anything in my path, the street a blur, as I ran, I fumbled with my keys, reached my door, and ran up the stairs, my mind racing again.

  I was now becoming very scared, the doorbell, the street, the night times.

  This disgusting man, who keeps bothering me, was it time to just go to the police and tell them everything. I picked up the locket, opened it.

  Then the room grew dim, it frightened me on this occasion, so I immediately shut it.

  As I did, something stopped it from closing, a tiny piece of paper. Sticking out from behind the photo, so I gently pulled it out, it looked faded.

  Dear Anastasia,

  We will talk soon, I love you; tell Anna, I think of her all the time.

  Meet me at 7 o’clock by the chalet, on Tuesday evening; I have a gift to show you.

  I cannot think of any other, my mind is you, as if we are one

  It has been while, but I will be home very soon forever this time.

  Signed

  C.D.

  It was magical to read, I had a funny tingling in my body. It was a love note from many years ago, I thought. Obviously, this person was very much in love.

  My thoughts went back to my old dad, he used to leave little notes everywhere for mum, they were so much in love. He always signed with his initials.

  Mum would do his sandwiches for work, always with a little message inside, for him to read during his lunchtime at work.

  My thoughts went back to Zoë was she ok; I really should have stayed to help her. The man obviously dangerous, but what could I do?

  If I go to the police they will ask me so many questions, and after all, I did not know much or these people.

  No, better not, put it out, my mind.

  Perhaps I will show the locket to Eddie the antique dealer, he will know, his an expert, he will tell me. Therefore, the next morning I caught him and showed it to him, immediately I saw his expression, he said “Wherever, did you pick this up, it is beautiful,” with excitement in his voice.

  “This is a great find, who gave it to you?”

  “I found it in the flat.”

  He suggested, he keep it, so he could study it some more, check some textbooks.

  I left it with him; best not tell him too much. I rushed off, I trusted Eddie, and he was friends with my dad, a great old man. Always checking I am ok.

  I nipped to local grocers, picked up some supplies, was getting short. My mum would be ashamed of me my cupboards being bare, but I ate out so much, did not need much. Long as I had my coffee, I was fine.

  I returned home, pottered about. Then, there was a ring on the door, it was James my boss, what did he want, I wondered?

  He told me he had been thinking about me, as I had been acting out of the ordinary, and he was worried about me, so I invited him in.

  He glanced around my flat with an admiring look, I think he was surprised, by my décor, I had collected some lovely items, mainly from old Eddie downstairs from the antique shop, and mum had left me some gorgeous pieces her and dad had collected on their trips to Egypt and India. They travelled a lot.

  I offered him some coffee, and we sat, chatted for a while. James then told me he had split with his fiancée, Rebecca, as they had not been getting along for some time.

  I was not that disappointed as I had fancied him from a distance for such a long time, but felt it my duty to console him at this time.

  It felt a bit strange him being here though, as though he was invading my space.

  Something was not quite right.

  He then left, told me if I needed some time off, it was fine, just to give him a ring.

  He seemed so generous; I felt a twinge of guilt about his break up. After his departure, I picked up the newspaper and started reading about the headline again, as I said it had made front-page news.

  It read that the girl was a known prostitute of the area, well known to the police, but they had not named her, as her family had to informed, and they were looking at the case as a murder.

  I felt a twinge of guilt; if I went to the police would they laugh at me?

  No, I thought they would think I am crazy.

  I decided to go down to the tearooms and indulge myself in a large cream cake, so off I went to try to forget everything that had happened and to get back to reality.

  I grabbed my order and was just about to tuck in to it when I noticed someone at the side of me, and when I looked up it was Geoff the guy who try to kill me, I jumped back startled.

  The color must have drained from me.

  “Keep calm, and I will not hurt you”

  In a quiet husky voice, he then suggested he sat opposite me; I was terrified, but tried to stay calm.

  I avoided looking at him placing my hands on the table as I was shaking so much.

  Then he added.

  “So we meet again, I told you we would, now have you thought about what I said; your time is running out”.

  As he spoke the shop door opened, I looked up and it was James, who noticed me directly and came towards me

  ” Hi, there we meet again, do you mind if I join you”

  I replied. “Of course please do”.

  Geoff immediately rose from his seat saying

  “Here I am just off, so you can have my seat”

  As he did, he glanced at me with rage in his eyes. He then left.

  I gave James the hugest smile, if only he new how he had just saved me from that awful disgusting man.

  We sat just chatting about everyday things and then I told James I had to go. He replied he also had plans, so we parted, and I made my way back home.

  The next morning I arrived promptly at work, seemed to have a spring in my step, James arrived shortly after

  Smiled, as he leaned over my desk’

  “Hi, I will see you shortly”, returned with a pile of papers, and then dumped them in front of me.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  I got on with it, believe me I enjoyed every minute, but as lunchtime approached, James asked if I would like to join him for a pub lunch, I agreed immediately, perhaps with a little too much excitement in my voice.

  We left and James suggested we go a short distance from the office, to one of the older pubs in the high street. He ordered a large salad so being polite I ordered the same.

  I yearned for the big cheeseburger the bloke opposite was t
ucking into, the cheese bursting out the edges, dripping down his lips, he had sauce on his chin .He looked like a workman, dirty t shirt and jeans.

  We chatted and laughed so much, I realized although I had worked a long time for James. I had not really known him that well. He was fun, had a very warm personality. I became quite attracted to him.

  I think something had grabbed my heart and was squeezing it. Was this love, I had never felt like this before. Well once recently, Fredric had the same effect on me, but that was just a dream.

  I told him about the loss of my mum, he had also had a close death; his brother killed, in an accident, which must have been traumatic as he was only seventeen.

  We talked about his life, how he had worked hard to get where he was to make his mother proud of him and make up for the loss of his brother.

  We returned to work, hardly noticing James; I had a backlog of work to get on with when he suddenly appeared. He bent over and whispered.

  “Do you want to chill out tomorrow night?

  We can just have a laugh, a takeaway.”

  I was up for anything that included James at this time, needed someone like him right now.

  I suggested he came to my place. He agreed.

  The next evening arrived I had picked a movie up, a comedy, thought that would brighten up his mood, then he arrived at my place and we ordered takeaway, it was a great night, we laughed and cried at the movie.

  James pecked me on the cheek when he left, saying “See you tomorrow.”

  My heart was racing with anticipation, I just could not wait to get to work the next morning, but when I arrived, it was as if we had not even met the night before, he seemed busy, so I got on with my work.

  During the afternoon, James came by my desk, leaned towards me.

  “How about, we go out again.”

  Well I was up for anything as long as he was there, so we arranged to meet the next evening.

  He also said.

  “If you don’t mind, I never mix work with pleasure, sorry if I seemed a bit distant today, did not mean anything. “

  I just answered, “No that is fine”

  I left work went home, on the way Eddie caught me and said he had been looking into books, to discover where the locket came from, and handed it back to me, and told me he would catch me and we could talk soon as he was in a rush.

  I spent the whole evening deciding what to wear, preparing for my date that was not until the next night.

  Then I went to bed early to get some beauty sleep.

  When I arrived at work, the next day James had left a message that he was out in meetings all day and had left me a pile of work to get through, so I whizzed through it, the excitement of my coming date had given me a rush, and I cleared it all in no time.

  That evening I prepared myself, first the long soak, then the hair, I thought I smelt great; hope James appreciates my efforts I thought.

  I checked myself in the mirror and thought ‘Sweetheart you are a knockout’ go give it to him.

  Suddenly I was startled when the bell rang again.

  I almost ran to the door then stopped dead, composed myself; it was James

  “Ready.”

  I immediately answered eagerly.

  ” Yes of course”.

  I slammed the door behind me.

  We went to a little restaurant in High street called The Blue Ray, it specializes in Thai food, I had been to it before with Mel, the food was delicious, it was very romantic, full of couples all chatting eating happily as we entered.

  We followed the waiter to a table in the corner, ordered our meal, which was delicious. We chatted as we ate, and I was just so comfortable with James.

  As the evening wore on, he checked his watch and said

  “Blimey do you realize what time it is.”

  Amazed three hours had flown by.

  Therefore, James paid the bill and off we went, stopping for one drink at the wine bar before James walked me home.

  As we got to my door, he said

  “If you don’t mind I won’t come in, as I have to get up early tomorrow, I’ve had a great time.”

  I blushed as he said the words.

  Thought he must have assumed I was going to ask him in.

  Quite unexpectedly, he leaned forward towards me, his lips touched mine, and his breathe on my neck as he passed sent quivers through me.

  He ran his chin along my neck, which sent quivers through me. Then he reached my lips he had the taste of wine, but then I pulled away, as I thought of his girlfriend.

  ” James I do not think we should. After all, it’s not long since Rebecca.”

  He replied.

  “Of course I shouldn’t, so sorry”

  He apologized and left me standing there.

  He rushed down the pathway, turning the corner into the street.

  Of course immediately I thought, what is the matter with you girl, should have just gone with it.

  Why say anything to the man of your dreams, her loss, and your gain. This Rebecca cannot be much to let him go. I climbed the stairs thinking’ No, I was right to keep him hanging on a knife-edge, until I am ready for a change.

  In the past, I had given in to men, and they used me, then threw me away, so this time I am going to make sure this is right, boy did I think it was.

  Off to bed I lay dreaming, I had not blown it with James, imagining allsorts as we girls do.

  It was my day off and as I was tidying up I came across the locket, it had been a few days since Zoë had given it to me, and I had almost forgotten it.

  I decided to open it once more, just checking this was a dream, but it happened immediately, the room dimmed, the tunnel of light.

  The fire was burning, but needed more coal on it.

  I just sat; no one was around, just taking in my surroundings. Eventually rising to my feet, I had noticed a photograph in a frame on the table, so I picked it up, it was a picture of a girl, she actually looked like me, different hairstyle, old-fashioned clothing. I was back there again.

  I also realized my dress was heavy and looked down at my clothing; I had a dress on which were heavy cotton, and an apron all frilly, hate high necks, it was itchy. I pulled at the collar but it would not budge.

  I noticed the cat on the windowsill purring at me, so approached it. Stroking it gently.

  I sat, glancing out the window, below, the street looked dirty, and grey, people rushing by, women in thick high-necked dresses with lacey shawls, a woman pushing a weird looking pram, and a pair of dogs going through some rubbish at the kerbed edge.

  I decided to have a look round, could not hear a sound, so assumed everyone was out, I crept quietly into the hall, as I did glanced at the mirror as I passed, My reflection, startled me, my hair, ringlets hanging like tubes, like when I was a kid.

  It was quiet, clear, so decided to look in her room, the woman Anastasia.

  I opened the door slowly, her room was very pretty, and the bed had lace adorning it to the floor, in white with large pink flowers.

  A dressing table antique in dark oak, a brush and mirror lay on top, jewels, hung across the mirror.

  I opened her wardrobe, it was large, with huge doors, and they were heavy as I tried to open them. Huge beautiful dresses, hung in a row.

  There a letter lay, Anastasia Shelby, thought I would just take a peep, should not have done, they were private, but could not resist the temptation. It read:

  My Dearest Anastasia

  My days are long now, I so wish we could be together,

  As you know, I have another life, where people depend on me to tell the truth and fight their cause.

  Kin, who do not understand me, but depend on me.

  I miss you and Anna so very much.

  I am also so proud of our son; he has exceeded all my expectations.

  If only we could be together always, on my recent visit to London I picked up a gift for you, I will bring it on my next visit, also little Anna I managed to
get her a beautiful writing set for when she starts the school, she will be so delighted, I know.

  I will be arriving in Rochester on May 4, I will come directly to you, and perhaps you can prepare us dinner, for 3pm.

  From the day we met that spring, I have loved no other; you alone took my heart, and will always be I honored to have met you.

  I will bring you a rose, perhaps a yellow one this time, I think I have given you every color there is, to me you are a rose, your beauty, kindness is always with you, and I love you.

  I cannot wait to see you; perhaps I may manage a visit of 4 days this time.

  Love and adore you always.

  C.D.

  It was so beautiful, dreams had taken over, I returned it to the envelope, and chose another, but suddenly heard a noise; I grabbed a pen.

  It was the front door opening, so I quickly searched for the locket, realized I had left it in the lounge, so rushed out the door.

  Anastasia stood gazing at me.

  She looked startled, and said.

  “Anna what are you doing in my bedroom.”

  I stood staring at her with a very guilty expression, her face very angry. Lines were now appearing along the sides of her lips.

  She then said

  “Go to the sitting room and wait for me.”

  With a raised voice.

  I rushed pass her and into the lounge, running to the window as that is where I had opened the locket, but before I could pick it up, she came in the room.

  “Anna, now explain yourself Miss, now if you please”

  I slowly turned; she was standing by the door.

  I answered.

  “Oh mother I was just looking for a pen, as I was going to write a letter to my friend”

  I lifted the pen to show her.

  She replied.

  “Well normally you would look where the pens are kept Anna, in the writing bureau?”

  She looked so sternly at me, I was a little afraid. She then stood hands on hips awaiting my reply.

  So I kept thinking,’ what can I say now’ Then I spoke.

  “But I wanted to write with the pretty pen, the one father gave you mother, sorry I thought you would not mind, I am so sorry.”

  She seemed happier with the answer.