To Save a Savage Scot

by Tamara Gill

  “Did ye know that she’s been visiting not just the villages, but the people that live just outside the walls? Talking to them about hygiene and food preparation. What in the name of all things holy is hygiene anyways?”

  Ben grinned. “Nay, I have no idea.” But the thought that Kenzie was trying to make the people who lived at Castle Ross better left him prouder than he’d ever thought possible.

  How he loved her. She was such a capable, independent woman. There was much to admire.

  “I’m sure she’s just trying to help, and mayhap if ye listened to her you may learn a thing or two.

  Bruce scoffed. “I know all there is to know about life. I dinna need any lessons from a woman.”

  Ben turned at the sound of the laird of Clan Grant and his son Evan arguing in the keep below. He leaned against the battlement and watched. The lad Evan was hot-headed and too quick to wield a sword. The laird, although no more trustworthy, at least thought on matters before acting on half-truths or slurs.

  “Did ye know that Evan Grant asked Kenzie to be his wife? Confronted the lass on the way back from ye planting the other day.”

  A cold, thundering rage stormed through him. Evan Grant had asked her to be his wife? He would kill the man for acting so presumptuously. Kenzie was his and no one else’s. He should never have left her alone that day. Anything could’ve happened to her. She could’ve been killed, raped, kidnapped. The list was endless. He ought to be horsewhipped for allowing his temper to get the better of him.

  “Ye aren’t allowed to kill the Grant lad, Laird. ’Twould start a war that we’re little prepared for.”

  Which was another thing that lay at Ben’s feet. Had he not gone off whoring, drinking himself into a stupor for the months after Aline’s death, his clansmen would be better prepared for any attack they may come up against. And most importantly, the one that was to take place in May.

  He frowned, wondering if Kenzie’s frenzied discussions with his people had anything to do with what history had coming for him. Was she trying to save them all?

  “I have no intention of starting trouble with the Grant clan. They are my son’s family, after all, but I will not allow Evan Grant to think he can even touch one hair on Kenzie’s body. She’s mine and no others.”

  Bruce turned to him, clapping him on his shoulder. “I like Kenzie and I think she’ll do well as ye lady. When are ye going to ask her to be ye bride?”

  That he couldn’t marry the lass left Ben empty inside. He’d promised himself that he would never marry again. Never put another at risk by having his children. The past weeks he’d been sleeping with Kenzie they had been careful, and he’d had the town healer send up a portion of wild carrot to mix with her tea to stop any unnecessary complications, but still… The image of Kenzie heavy with his child, Alasdair on her hip, was a picture he’d kill to see. The realization struck him like a blow, and he fisted his hands, leaning over the battlements to regain his mind.

  She was too young to die. He wouldn’t ask her to marry him, no matter how much he longed to spend the rest of his life with the lass. Kenzie had made her plans perfectly clear from the start. She would return home, but if they were able to enjoy each other’s company in the meantime, so be it.

  “Kenzie is not like other women and dinna wish to marry just as I dinna want another wife. We’re enjoying each other and nothing else. But I still do not appreciate Evan Grant pressing his desire for the lass onto her. I’ll not have it.”

  “Ye must speak to him, for I do believe he’s quite determined.”

  Ben frowned. “Tonight, after the evening meal, I wish to discuss a matter with ye, but in private.”

  “Should I be on guard? What is it about?”

  Bruce threw him a concerned glance and Ben shook his head to dispel the clansman’s worry. “Nay, not yet, at least, but bring with ye an open mind, for what you’re about to hear may be a little unbelievable.”

  “Aye, of course, my Laird.”

  …

  Ben knocked on Kenzie’s door and hearing no reply opened it, finding the room empty. He went in and shut the door, sitting on the end of her bed to wait her return. The room smelled of roses. Seeing the fire starting to wane, he threw a couple of logs and a peat block onto it.

  The door swung open, and Kenzie breezed into the room like a wave of fresh, springtime air. A grin quirked his lips at seeing her before she shut the door, bolting it.

  “What a delightful surprise. Have you come to sweep me up in your arms and make reckless love to me?”

  If only he could, but that would have to wait. “Nay, not yet, but come here. I need ye.”

  She went willingly into his arms, and he breathed deep her scent. He sat his chin on top of her head, pulling her close. “What have ye been doing all day, lass? The last time I saw ye you were heading into the village.”

  Kenzie pulled out of his arms and he missed her immediately. Untying her cloak, she wouldn’t meet his eyes as she laid the garment over the one chair that sat before the now roaring fire.

  “I wasn’t up to anything bad if that’s what you are asking. I just went for a walk. With my maid.”

  “Hmm,” he said, wondering why she didn’t want to tell him what she was really up to? Did she think he would stop her from continuing her plan that she was on? “Kenzie, look at me.” Reluctantly, she did. “What are ye doing, love?”

  She sighed. “I’ve been trying to prepare the village, your people, should anything happen to you. Not that I’ve been coming out and saying their laird is under threat and could possibly be hurt in the next month, but just a little bit on how they can go to Gwen and Braxton, or even Laird Macleod for help. To think about where they ought to go should the town come under attack or where they could hide in the house. Building a cellar or something similar, to keep the children safe.”

  Ben rubbed his jaw. “When the castle goes under attack, not that I think any such thing will happen in the foreseeable future, the women and children are always sent for the hills to hide within the forest. They know to wait for it to be safe before returning. The men help fight. The town—this castle and Clan Ross will stand for many years to come. There has been no sign of threat from anywhere and I’ve increased the guards and lookouts. If there are any coming, we’ll be ready for them.”

  “What if they’re already here, Ben?” She kneeled before him.

  “’Tis not Clan Grant.”

  “But what if it is? What if they want all of this for your son, but not you. If they remove you, they have all of this until Alasdair comes of age.” She paused, biting her lip, and he clasped her cheek, making her look at him.

  “What are ye thinking now in that brilliant mind of yers?”

  “I hope, I do—with all my heart—that I’m wrong and no threat knocks on your door. I hope that my arrival here has skewed history in some way, stopped what happened to you. But if not, you need to be ready and willing to see that perhaps the threat is already close and that’s why you’ve not heard anything from your guards.”

  Ben watched the flame lick the wood. Could Kenzie be right? Could Clan Grant want Castle Ross for themselves, or at least the fertile land and his cattle? But why… “It makes no sense for Clan Grant to want me dead. I’m an ally, related by my son and have done nothing to them to raise their ire. If they’re in trouble I would help, and I would expect the same help in return. We are family.”

  “You seduced the laird’s daughter, ran off with her, and married her without so much as a care toward her father to see if it was okay. Maybe the laird has calmed down after all these years, but Evan Grant seems pissed off with you most of the time. That’s not normal, surely.”

  What Kenzie said was true and could be a reason to prepare for an attack from within the walls. Kenzie had told him that Castle Ross was burned to the ground after the attack. He would be a simpleton should he ignore anything that she suggested. The lass was educated, certainly a very smart woman, and with her help, mayhap he co
uld outsmart the villain. “Nay, ’tis not normal, but Even Grant has never cared for others, so to take offense over anything that he says would be of no help. But I shall speak to Bruce, tell him of my concerns and put in place the appropriate measures to keep those within the castle walls safe.”

  Kenzie’s shoulders slumped in relief, and she leaned between his legs and cuddled him. “Thank you for listening to me. I hope what I’m worried about never comes to pass, but I think we need to do all we can to help the people under your care, your son, and yourself safe, should history prove to be true.”

  Ben rubbed her back and they clutched each other for a short time, the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room. “Ye didn’t tell me that Evan Grant asked ye to be his wife.”

  …

  Kenzie smiled against Ben’s chest and pulled back a little to look up at him. “You weren’t talking to me at the time, so no, I did not.”

  He cringed. “Again, lass, I’m sorry for my temper. ’Twas just what ye said was not what I expected to hear.”

  The thought of marrying the too-proud-arrogant-ass that was Even Grant made her stomach roil. “He asked me, and I said no. I’m not going to be his brood mare.” But of late Kenzie had been wondering what it would be like to be Ben’s lover forever, to marry him and possibly have his children, a little brother or sister for Alasdair.

  “I think ye should leave before the allocated time that ye say the castle falls. To be certain that no matter what happens, whatever the future has set in stone for me dinna affect you, threaten yer safety and life.”

  Kenzie started at his words. “I can’t go back before that time. I won’t do it, Ben. If I can be of any help here, even if it’s to protect little Alasdair, I will. Should I return home and the battle does take place and I did not stay until the end—to try and stop whatever happened to you, I would never forgive myself.” Pain clawed at her stomach, and she fought for breath. To leave Ben and never see him again hurt more than she’d ever thought possible.

  “I can’t go, Ben.”

  “Ye have to go,” he said, sitting up, pinning her with a hard gaze. “I will summon Gwendolyn if ye do not go back of your own volition. This time is not safe, and if what ye say is true, if what is going to happen here in under a sennight, then ye must leave.”

  “I can’t,” she repeated, shaking her head.

  “Why not?”

  Kenzie swallowed. “I’ve fallen in love with you, and to lose you not to just time but death itself, to know you didn’t go on and have a long and fruitful life would be too hard to bear. Please don’t make me leave.”

  She straddled Ben’s lap. “Somehow, in my madcap adventure to see medieval Scotland and the famous Black Ben, I’ve found my soulmate. I never meant for any of this to happen. In my time, I’m a successful business woman. I’m not looking for a long-term relationship. But for you, I’d give up all of that, even if it’s only to ensure you stay alive in this time and safe.”

  Ben clasped her cheeks, shaking her a little. “Ye cannot stay, no matter how much I love ye in return. You deserve to live in freedom and enjoy the wonders of yer time. Not here, where every day is a gift, or any day someone could come storming the keep and threaten all that you hold dear.”

  “And yet, it changes nothing, because I’m staying. And should you summon Gwen I will simply tell her what you’ve told me, and she’ll not make me go back.”

  “But ye family, lass. Yer mother will be devastated, should ye not return.”

  Kenzie had thought about that, and maybe she could return home just to let her mama know. To say her goodbyes and leave all her properties to the current Laird MacLeod. “As much as I love my mama, and will miss her, she’s not my future. You’re my future. I want to stay here with you. Marry you, if you’ll have me.”

  His silence was deafening, and Kenzie had the awful thought that his feelings were not as strong as her own. Love came in many forms. Maybe he saw her only as a little fun between the sheets? Heat infused her face, and she scuttled off his lap when he refused to answer her.

  “I do not wish to marry again, lass. I know ye have ye own protection against increasing with a babe, and had ye not had such security, I would never have touched ye. I dinna need another heir. I have Alasdair. And I canna watch another woman I care about die simply to give me heirs. I will not do it.”

  Kenzie pulled a woolen shawl about her shoulders, the chill from the stone floor making her feet sting. “We don’t have to have children, Ben.” As much as she loved children, she’d be fine should she not have any. Alasdair was a sweet little boy and would soothe any pain she might have of not having her own children. You didn’t have to be a biological parent to a child to be its mother. To care and love it with all that you are.

  “Mistakes happen and with such, your life could be put at risk.”

  “My life is at risk, anyway. Every day you could die. Nothing is fail proof. You cannot wrap everyone in cotton wool to keep them from living. You did not kill Aline. She died in childbirth. An unfortunate and sad fact of life women are very aware of when they wish for a child. But we do it anyway, because, of course you do. There is no other choice.”

  Ben rose from the bed and joined her before the hearth. Taking her hands, he stared at her and nothing in his features gave away what he was thinking.

  What is he thinking? “I’m sorry, lass. I canna marry you.”

  He dropped her hands and walked to the door and Kenzie stared after him, unable to comprehend what had just happened. “Pushing me away will not keep me safe, Ben.”

  His stride never faulted as he ripped open the door and continued down the hall. Kenzie shut the door behind him and frowned. This would never do and if he thought he could be rid of her so easily he had another thing coming. Love was worth fighting for, and no matter his dislike of the marriage act, in her heart, Kenzie was secure in what he felt for her.

  She was not wrong.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ben sat at the dais, breaking his fast and staring out over his clansmen eating the morning meal before him. The Laird of Grant sat beside him, the sound of his chewing louder than his heifers chewing the grass in the fields.

  He took a calming breath, wanting to tell the old man to shut his mouth but did not. Hitting out at others never solved anything, and the Grants had nothing to do with the fact Kenzie Macleod had asked him to marry her and he’d cut her down with his words just as fast as he could with his sword.

  Taking a sip of mead, he sighed. He’d hurt her. Out of his own fear he’d pushed her away, possibly bringing forth her own departure due to his careless, fear-driven words.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask ye, Ben, if ye are interested in marrying my lass Athol. We’ve been here some weeks now, enough time for ye to get to know the girl and see her potential as ye wife.”

  Ben choked on his drink and covered his surprise with a cough. “As much as I cared for Aline, I’m not looking to marry her sister. No matter how bonny the lass is, ’tis not what I want. Nor do I believe Athol would be pleased by such an event.”

  Laird Grant nodded, rubbing a hand over his graying beard. “I see ye point, and yet the lass would do well under ye care. She’s bonny to be sure, but she’d also be a good mama to my wee grandson. Think on the possibility, dinna dismiss it so quickly before ye’ve had a chance to see all the positives such a union would bring both our families.”

  Ben spied Kenzie walking through the great hall toward the outer door. A thick woolen cloak sat about her shoulders and partially covered her head. No maid accompanied her. He stood, determined to ensure her safety wherever she was headed.

  “The Macleod lass is not for ye, Laird. She’s pretty, too, I grant ye, but she doesn’t know the way of our lands, our people. ’Tis best if ye marry the family that is closest to ye outside of ye own. That being us.”

  Ben frowned. “Ye didn’t approve of my marriage to yer daughter, Aline, so I’m curious as to why ye seem so determined that
I marry her sister.” Laird Grant shifted in his seat and threw a glance at his son Evan who stood by the fire.

  “I know we dinna have the best of starts. I did wish for Aline to marry Laird Macleod, and yet she was happy with you. Her letters certainly seemed to show that she’d come to care for ye a great deal, and so my hatred of ye has ceased. Ye made my lass happy during the time she was here and that is enough for me.”

  Had Ben not been sitting, the laird’s words would’ve knocked him on his ass. “I cared for Aline a great deal, and I always will. She’s the mother of my boy, and for that I’m forever grateful. But I’m not looking to marry again, and I do apologize for giving ye any further cause to disapprove of me, but I cannot marry Athol. No matter how much of a suitable woman she may be as my wife and mother to my boy.”

  The laird clapped him on the back. “’Tis what I thought ye would say, but Athol was determined to have ye as her husband, and so it was a father’s duty to ask.” He paused. “I must ask ye why it is ye’re so determined not to marry again and give some brothers and sisters to the wee Alasdair. The lad would do well to have some siblings to love and combat with.”

  Guilt roared within him that he was living and his wife no longer was, due solely to the fact he needed an heir. To think of losing Kenzie in such a way tore his soul in two. “I canna ask another to risk her life by having more of my bairns. ’Twas the ultimate sacrifice from Aline, and had she not fallen pregnant, she would be alive today.”

  “Aye, she would’ve,” Aline’s father said, pulling a roll of bread apart and throwing some into his mouth. “And yet, had she survived or only now be trying for a child, she would change nothing of her course. The lass, no matter how prickly she may have been toward some, was a good girl and wished for children of her own. Ye would not have changed her outcome. ’Tis God’s will, my boy.”

  Ben stood. “If ye will excuse me, Grant.” He strode from the room, the words from Aline’s father going around in his mind like a wheel. Mayhap, the old man was right and so, too, was Kenzie. Was he being too hard on himself in regard to his wife’s death? Once married, he’d actually enjoyed the state. The marriage bed was one he’d enjoyed, and during his time with Aline, he’d been faithful. Could he do it again? Could he risk allowing himself to care for another with the knowledge that he could lose her, as well?