Safe With Me, Special Edition

by Shaina Richmond

  How much more of this can I take? Being in love with Susie Lombardi grew more difficult with each passing day. Never had any woman caused me such grief. Part of me wanted to fly off into a screaming rage. Another part of me wanted to cry like a baby. I couldn’t stand the thought of some other guy enjoying her body like I had. I wanted her all to myself.

  What the fuck is happening to me? Am I going crazy? Am I really in love, or am I just obsessed with her because I can’t have her?

  Susie ran downstairs to the front door wearing a white robe. I watched her secure the deadbolt, then turn around to enter the security code at the unit on the wall.

  “Hope you’re ready to come upstairs,” she said. She grinned as she walked toward me, wearing a short, lacy black gown under her robe. I wanted to be aroused but all I could think about was who else might get to see her in that gown.

  I turned off the TV and stood up to take her hand. Without saying a word, she led me upstairs to the bedroom.

  The room had a musky vanilla scent from a candle burning on her nightstand. She slipped her robe off and let it fall to the floor. Her nightgown was so short I could see her pussy when she bent over to blow out the candle.

  A minute later we lay on her bed facing each other. I wore only my boxer shorts. Susie still wore her sexy little nightgown. It was so low-cut her tits practically fell out of it. Her head rested on my upper arm. The only light in the room was from the lamp on her nightstand.

  “What’s wrong, Tyler?” she asked.

  I had barely spoken a word since she led me upstairs. “I was just thinking about how much I’m gonna miss you this week,” I said.

  “I’ll be back before you know it.”

  Her expression was blank. She looked into my eyes, her cheek resting on my arm. I didn’t care anymore about holding back my feelings or scaring her off with honesty. She was leaving for six days, and I knew it would drive me insane if I didn't talk to her. “Susie, I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want you to be with anyone else.”

  “Huh?”

  Fuck! I wanna scream! It took a lot of effort to soften my tone so she couldn’t tell how upset I was. “I need you to know that I don’t like the thought of you with another guy.”

  “Who said anything about me being with another guy?” she asked.

  I stared into her eyes. “I just wanted you to know it would upset me.” I paused. Her expression was still blank. “Would it bother you if I was with someone else?”

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she spoke. “Why are you asking me this?”

  “Why aren’t you answering my question?”

  Her eyes opened slowly. “Of course it would bother me.”

  “Then why aren’t you my girlfriend?”

  Her mouth dropped open. She looked down at the bedspread. “We talked about this. I already told you I can’t have a relationship.”

  Her lack of eye contact any time I asked her something important confirmed what I'd thought all along – she's not being honest with me. “So, you’re just gonna go your whole life and never let yourself fall in love?”

  “Shit, Tyler! You’ve only know me a week!”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “So, you’re talking about love? After a week?”

  My heart sank. I thought I’d totally fucked up. “I don’t know.” I lied. I knew damn well I was in love with her. I ran my fingers through her silky blond hair. “But I do know that I want you all to myself.”

  “Oh,” she said. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, using my arm as a pillow. I grew tired of her expertise at blank facial expressions.

  “Woman, you are so fucking hard to read.”

  Susie put her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. What do you want me to say?”

  “I want you to open your eyes and look at me.”

  She winced. I was shocked to see a single tear roll down her face. She moved her hand from her forehead to wipe the tear away. Then she sniffled.

  “Sweetie,” I said, “I didn’t mean to upset you.” I pulled her closer, rolling her toward me so I could look in her eyes if she opened them. I gently pressed my lips to her forehead to kiss her.

  She sniffled again. A few more tears rolled down her face. I brushed them away with my fingers.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Why are you sorry?” I asked as I pulled her head into my chest.

  “I hate to cry,” she said.

  “It’s okay. Tell me why you’re upset.”

  I felt her warm breath against my chest. Her body shook in my arms as her warm tears hit my skin.

  “Okay,” I continued, “I didn’t mean to upset you.” I cradled the back of her head as I held her to my body. “Please tell me this – are you upset because you just can’t stand me at all and you wish I didn’t feel this way about you?”

  Susie chuckled, then sniffed. “No, that's not it.”

  “So, you like me then?”

  She pulled away and rested her cheek on my arm. Her sad eyes looked deep into mine. “Yes. I like you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

  I fought my urge to smile like a jackass. “Then what’s the problem?”

  Susie shook her head slowly. “I can’t be with you. I told you that already.”

  I lightly ran my fingers around her jaw, then up to her lips. “Yeah, I remember. And I think you’re full of shit,” I whispered.

  Her mouth dropped open. She grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand away from her face. “You asshole!”

  “Please don’t be mad at me, Susie.”

  “You just called me a liar. Shouldn't I be mad?” I couldn’t tell if she was truly angry or if she just wanted to be angry. Her eyes were bloodshot and red from crying.

  “I wanna believe you but you went down your list of excuses that night like you’d rehearsed that speech a thousand times,” I said.

  She stared at me as her eyes grew thick with tears. When she blinked they flowed onto her cheeks. She closed her eyes and wiped them away with her hand.

  “I’m sorry you’re upset,” I said. I thought about stopping but I knew I was finally getting somewhere with her. “I wish you’d tell me the truth. I know you’re hiding something. And I think whatever it is, it’s just an excuse. You don’t wanna get hurt. And I have a feeling you’ve used that excuse for years.”

  Susie’s lips pressed together. She shook her head for a second before she spoke, staring at my chest. “I’m not even gonna dignify that with a response.”

  “Please look at me, sweetie.” I put my hand on her face and turned it up toward me. “I like you. And you just admitted you like me, too. I don’t understand why we can’t be together. I’m tired of hiding.”

  “What? You’re tired of hiding after a week? And all we’ve done is fuck. You can't build a relationship on that.”

  “That's not all we've done, Susie. Do you really believe we have nothing else to offer each other?”

  “I have no idea. It's only been a week.”

  “Then why were you crying just now?” I asked.

  She closed her eyes.

  “No.” I put my hand under her chin. “Don’t close your eyes, baby,” I whispered. “Tell me what got you so upset.”

  Tears escaped from under her tightly shut eyelids. “I can’t.”

  I would’ve given anything to have been able to read her mind at that moment. So many thoughts went through my head. Was she scared of her feelings? Scared of a relationship? Scared I might hurt her? Scared she might hurt me? Was she living a secret double life and she actually had a husband somewhere? She was obviously hiding something. Should I go back to Sherry at the diner? Or try to find Rosita? So far, they were my only sources of new information. I knew I had to look up the area codes the first chance I got. Maybe they’d tell me something I hadn't thought about.

  I pulled Susie toward me, holding her face to my neck as I stroked the back of her head. She breathed in and out slowl
y, her breath quivering like a river of tears was about to burst forth any second.

  “Sweetie, I wish you’d tell me why you’re upset.” I tried to be as gentle as possible. “You’re not gonna run me off that easily.”

  She laughed.

  “I’m serious,” I said. “I’m here for you.”

  Susie put her arm around my back and held me tight. I felt her breathe methodically like she was trying to calm down. It was nice to hold and comfort her as her warm breath bathed my neck. I liked it when it felt like she needed me and wasn’t acting so damned self-sufficient. Several minutes went by before her breathing sounded relaxed and normal again.

  “Honey,” I said, “I hope you really don’t think I’m only in this for the sex.”

  Susie laughed and pulled away from me. The look on her face reeked of skepticism. “Well, considering that’s what we’ve spent the majority of our time doing, I think it’s a fair assumption.”

  I rubbed her back gently. “It’s a wrong assumption. Really wrong. We’ve spent a lot more time talking and getting to know each other than you realize.”

  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know.”

  I knew what I had to do, and I knew it would be painful but I was desperate. “Okay, what if we stop fucking all the time? Would that prove we have something else in common?”

  “Shit,” she said under her breath.

  I laughed. “What? You don’t like that idea?”

  “No! It’s terrible!”

  “Look, I want you, Susie. And if I have to use self control to prove it, that’s what I’m gonna do.” Shit! What have I done? My head knew it was the right thing but my dick already had second thoughts.

  “Alright, so let me get this straight. You think if you withhold sex from me, it’ll prove to me we could have a deeper relationship?”

  “That’s the idea.”

  Susie laughed and shook her head. “So, you really think either of us has any self control? We’re, like, the two horniest people in the state of Oregon.”

  “That may be true. But I can somehow control myself if it means I’ll get to be more than just ‘the guy you’re fucking.’” I knew it would suck, and it would mean resuming my old routine of hand lotion and Internet porn, but I knew for a fact I was in love with Susanna Lombardi. And maybe it was time I suffered to prove it.

  “You’re not talking about starting this tonight are you? Because I was really in the mood for some wild ‘goodbye sex.’”

  “Yeah, I wanted that too.”

  “Shit, Tyler. I’m about to leave for six days. Say goodbye to me the right way.”

  “Maybe this is the right way, darlin’.”

  “Look, aren’t you the one who went on and on the other day telling me how you wish you could spend one more day with your dad to say goodbye?” she asked.

  “That’s not fair. Don’t use that to get me to fuck you.” I couldn’t believe she brought it up right then. I'd told her about it on Sunday when we spent the afternoon napping, fucking, talking, and eating. “If anything, use that as proof maybe we really are getting to know each other in a deeper way than you think.”

  She looked in my eyes. “I wasn’t trying to manipulate you.” She exhaled deeply. “Okay, maybe I was. But the truth is, there's a slight chance of us having a relationship at some point. I’m not making any promises. But it’s possible. And it's also possible I won't make it back from my trip. Who knows? Today is all we have. I lost both of my parents, remember?”

  I nodded. Inside, I beamed with joy over what she’d just said about the slight chance of us having a relationship. “I know. You’re right. You never know when you're gonna lose the people you really care about,” I said.

  “I’d give anything to see my mom again. Anything. Just to spend a minute with her.”

  I noticed the way she emphasized ‘mom.’ “So, just your mom? You don’t miss your dad?” I asked.

  “No.” She shook her head. “No, I don’t. He was an asshole.”

  “Is that why you’re not close to your family? Was he mean to you guys?”

  She had an expression I hadn’t seen from her before. It was a mixture of sadness and indifference. She inhaled deeply, exhaling as she spoke. “Well, he kicked me out of the house about eight months before the accident. So yeah, I guess you could say he was mean to me.”

  “What? How old were you?”

  “I’d just turned fifteen when I moved out.”

  “That’s horrible.” It all started to make sense to me. Maybe she felt like she couldn’t trust men? “Is that when you moved in here with your aunt?”

  “Uhhh…” She bit her cheek. Her eyes danced around the room. “It was a while before I moved in here.”

  “How long?”

  Susie scratched her head. “Look, a lot of shit happened.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I think I’ve said enough for now.”

  “No. Tell me what happened, please? Where’d you go when he kicked you out? Did you still see your family?” I asked.

  “I saw Mom a few times. I never saw my dad again. And I haven’t seen my brother or sister since then either.”

  “But you still have the aunts and uncles, right? You never run into your brother or sister?”

  “No. I make sure of it,” she said.

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. It’s pretty fucked up. Let's talk about something else.”

  My thoughts quickly went back to my own dad’s death and how it brought it my family together. I couldn't help asking her one more question. “I remember seeing every single one of my relatives at my dad’s funeral. You didn’t even see your brother and sister at your parents’ funeral?”

  “I didn’t go.”

  “Damn. You must’ve really hated your dad.”

  “I told you, it's fucked up.” She shrugged. “Could you do me a favor and keep it to yourself? A few people know bits and pieces and I’d rather not add fuel to the fire, you know? I don’t think I’m a topic of discussion anymore and I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “I won’t say anything, sweetie. I promise.” I was thrilled she’d opened up to me, even though the things she told me really only made me more curious. But at least I understood why she was so fiercely protective of herself. My heart broke for 15 year old Susie. What could a kid that age possibly do to make her own father kick her out of the house?

  Susie groaned painfully. “Well, that was a downer,” she said. “I haven’t thought about it in a while. I guess you’re gonna get your wish about us not having sex. I just wanna sleep.”

  “I’d still like to kiss you, if that’s okay.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Her expression changed to a big smile as my face approached hers.

  Her lips felt like velvet against mine. I placed my hand on the back of her head as I gently bit her bottom lip, caressing it with my tongue. She responded with a deep moan I didn’t expect. It wasn’t long before I felt her leg wrap around my waist, pulling my body closer to hers as we lay on our sides facing each other.

  She took my lip into her mouth more aggressively than I’d taken hers into mine. Her tongue massaged my lip as I felt her grinding against my cock through my boxer shorts, which were quickly soaked. Her sexy little nightgown had rolled up to her stomach, completely exposing her from the waist down.

  I pulled away. “I thought you weren’t in the mood for this?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I don’t know what happened.” She giggled and tightened her leg around my waist. “I guess all that sharing and stuff got me really horny or something. I’m sorry.”

  My hand found its way down to her ass, massaging my way to the back of her thigh. “Honey,” I said, “Don’t be sorry. Maybe you just feel closer to me.”

  “Oh,” she said. Her eyes squinted.

  I smiled. She was so cute with her little confused expression. Then I looked into her eyes as my hand moved up to where she was grinding against my boxer shor
ts. “Mmmm…” I moaned. “You’re so wet. I love how you get so wet.”

  Her mouth darted back to mine as she pulled my head toward hers, kissing me furiously. She moaned and breathed loudly as her tongue assaulted my mouth.

  My fingers explored her pussy, tracing her lips, enjoying how wet and swollen they felt to my touch. I was about to roll her onto her back when she caught me off guard, pushing me onto my back with her leg that was wrapped around my waist.