Safe With Me, Special Edition

by Shaina Richmond

“Great. That’s just… great.”

  “Hey, I think it’s cool. Does Tyler wonder why you always kick him out those nights?”

  I cleared my throat. “Speaking of Tyler, that was nice what you did with that cheesecake. I could tell it was all your idea.”

  He bent at the waist with a small bow. “Thank you. I told you. I’m not an asshole.”

  “I know you’re not. You’re really thoughtful. So, what’s up with you and birthdays?”

  “What about ‘em?”

  “You went all out for Joe’s birthday, too. Built that little shelf with his picture on it.”

  He looked down at the table. “I don’t know.” His mouth formed a sudden frown. “Birthdays are important. And I like those guys. That’s the best bunch of roommates I’ve ever had.”

  “That’s cool.”

  “Hey, do you know what Tyler’s decided about grad school? I can’t get a straight answer out of him.”

  “Grad school?”

  “Yeah. I hope he still wants to live with us if he decides to go. Unless you’re gonna finally let him move in here.” He smirked.

  “I didn’t know he applied to grad school.”

  “Huh?”

  “No. I assumed he’d move home. Thought he couldn’t wait.”

  He threw his head back, laughing. “Shit, girl. There’s a lot you don’t know about each other.”

  I stood still and watched him laugh. Was I the reason Tyler hadn’t made up his mind? I never let our conversations go any further than January.

  Suddenly, I heard the wooden creak of my front door opening, followed by cheering. Caleb and I walked out to the living room. Corbie and Joan had arrived.

  I was happy to see Corbie, but Joan greeted me with a shy grin and didn’t say anything to Caleb, who walked to the couch and took a seat beside Cyrus.

  Let the awkwardness begin…

  “Small crowd tonight.” Joan walked to the downstairs bedroom, holding both her coat and Corbie’s.

  “It’s better that way. Less clean-up.”

  “Yeah. I remember the last time.” She threw the coats on the bed and checked herself out in the mirror, straightening her tight green sweater. “Do I look okay?”

  “Yeah, you look good. That green really looks nice with your hair.” I knew that’s what she wanted to hear. Yes, her light red hair went nicely with that particular dark shade of green, but I knew she only asked because she wanted a compliment.

  “Thanks.” She lowered her voice. “So, has Michael said anything? Do you know if he broke up with that girl?”

  “Honestly, I have no idea.”

  Joan let out a sad sigh. “Well, I’m pretty sure he did.”

  I nodded and walked to the door, trying to coax her out of the room. I didn’t have the patience for her latest perceived news, via her constant Facebook stalking of Michael. I gave her a smile and waved her out to the living room. “Come on.”

  I watched Joan give Caleb a dirty look in the living room, obviously annoyed that he and Michael were in such close proximity. She stomped to the dining room with an angry look on her face.

  Ashley gave me a little wave from her seat at the dining room table. From the commotion in there, it sounded like their little drinking game had already produced a few hammered party guests.

  I then turned around to see Corbie sitting in the big recliner in the living room, listening attentively to one of Michael’s stories. Outside of class, I hadn’t seen much of Corbie lately. Tyler kept me informed of how he was doing, though. My guy friends had all apparently bonded with Tyler pretty quickly, which made me happy for him. I knew college was a vacation for Tyler; a respite from his life at home. I was glad he was having a good time, but I missed my friends. The guys had all been hanging out together, doing things like playing basketball and watching sports. Things that didn’t appeal to me at all. At least it gave me some time to myself, which I desperately needed.

  I waited until Michael’s story was finished before I tapped on Corbie’s shoulder.

  “Hey,” I said. “You hungry? There’s food in the kitchen.”

  “Oh.” He looked up at me, startled. “Yeah. I should probably eat.”

  I gave Tyler a quick glance as I walked to the kitchen. He was too busy talking to pay us any attention.

  I motioned to the kitchen table. “Have a seat.” I opened the refrigerator.

  “Okay.” Corbie sank to the chair with a yawn.

  “Sounds like you’re working too hard, babe.”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  I warmed up four slices of cold pizza in the microwave as he told me about the endless shelves of Christmas decorations he had to stock, and all the extra hours added to his schedule over the past few weeks.

  I handed him his plate and sat down gently beside him, mindful that my butt was now quite tender from my recent spanking horse excursion. “I hardly see you anymore,” I said.

  He shrugged and put his hand up to cover his full mouth. “Been busy.”

  “Well, I miss you.”

  He nodded and took another big bite of his pizza.

  “They don’t let you eat at Target?” I tugged on his loose sweatshirt. “You’ve lost a lot of weight the past few weeks.”

  He chewed quickly and swallowed. “Yeah. Too busy to eat. I was trying to lose weight anyway.”

  I ran my eyes over his broad shoulders. “Whatever. I’ve always thought you were cute.”

  That gave him a chuckle.

  I watched him pick up another slice. “So, have you met my cousin yet?” I asked.

  “You mean, the hot girl in the pink shirt? No.”

  “Do you wanna meet her?”

  He stopped as he was about to take another bite. “That depends. She keep as many secrets as you?”

  My jaw dropped. “So what if she does?”

  He stared back at me calmly, chomping his way through another slice.

  “Well?” I huffed. “What’s it matter? Sometimes a girl has a reason to keep secrets.”

  “Whatever.” He finished chewing and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

  “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because you can’t dig up enough information?”

  His eyes got big. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Yes you do. You’re the one obsessed with my secrets. And by the way, I warned my cousin not to tell you anything.”

  “What?” he asked with a full mouth.

  “Yeah. I know what you say about me. Always trying to figure out my past.”

  Corbie shook his head. “We all do that.”

  “Maybe, but I hear you’re the ringleader.”

  He put his elbow on the table and stuck his palm against his forehead, groaning. “Susie..”

  “Hey, it’s all right. It doesn’t upset me anymore. Maybe it’s just your odd way of showing how you care. I don’t know.”

  “No. It’s more than that.”

  “What is it then?”

  He closed his eyes and once again shook his head, not answering my question.

  “Corbie, I’ve never been able to figure you out either. I don’t know why you sound obsessed with me behind my back, but all those times we made out,” I paused, quieting my voice, “you just stopped and left me frustrated.” I let out a tiny chuckle. “I don’t get it. And lately it seems like you don’t even wanna talk to me. Did I do something?”

  A concerned look passed across his face. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but he stopped.

  “What?” I asked. “Tell me. Please. Do you know how much I care about you?”

  He closed his eyes, nodding. “Yeah.”

  “Okay, so what’s the deal?” I’d never seen him like this before. I stared at his sad face, waiting for a response.

  Music started in the living room. It seemed to jar him loose. He opened his eyes and slowly turned to me in his chair. “Susie, I know you paid my tuition when I lost my scholarship.”

  My stomach
flipped. “Huh?”

  “Don’t pretend you didn’t do it. I have proof and I can’t reveal my source without getting someone fired at the financial aid office.”

  I looked down at his wide chest just to have something else to focus on. “And you’re upset with me because of that?”

  “No.” He put his hand under my chin. “No. I just can’t wrap my head around it.”

  “It’s simple, really. I couldn’t let you go home. I’d miss you too much.”

  “It was sixty thousand dollars, Susie.” His eyes were shiny with a thin layer of tears. “Sixty thousand. That’s a lot of money.”

  “It’s enough for two years of tuition and books with a generous living allowance, which is why I don’t understand why you’re still working at Target.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “I can’t just sit back and take a hand out like that.”

  “It’s not a hand out. It’s a gift. And you should’ve already gotten a letter about a private scholarship to pay for grad school if you need it.”

  “Yeah.” Corbie’s voice was weary. “But I don’t like taking your money.”

  “Please, don’t say that. My motives were selfish. I just wanted you to stay because I like having you around. You’re like a brother to me. I love you.”

  “You’d make out with your brother?”

  I let go of his hand and slapped it. “No! That’s not what I meant and you know it. You know what I’m talking about. You guys are my only family.”

  “No, we’re not. You have those aunts and uncles. And I know you have a brother and sister who’ve been trying to get in touch with you for years.”

  I drew my hands away from him and sat up straight. “Who told you that?”

  “Was your brother Matt the guy who showed up here with all those tattoos? The guy you yelled at?”

  I shook my head, speechless. Shocked.

  “Susie, I know your brother sends you cards all the time. I found the one he sent you for Thanksgiving.”

  “You snooped through my mail?”

  “It was a couple days after you came back from your trip with Tyler. You had a big pile of mail on your dining table.”

  I put my hand on my stomach, unprepared for the pain. It felt like he’d punched me in the stomach. I would’ve given anything for the power to snap my fingers and teleport someplace thousands of miles away at that very second. “I can’t believe you.” My words came out softer than I intended. When I stood up from my chair, a small string of tears flowed down on both of my cheeks. Was I too high to realize I was crying? Or just too stunned? “I gotta get out of here.”

  Corbie stood up and grabbed my arm as I walked around the table. “Hey. Don’t be mad at me.”

  “I’m…” I reached down to the table for some napkins to wipe my tears. I tried to shake my arm to get away but he took my other hand and held me in place, facing him. I conjured up enough anger to shout, “Let me go!”

  His hazel eyes pierced me as he kept me there, staring down at me, making me cry even harder. “Listen, I know I crossed the line, but try to see it my way. What if someone gave you a shitload of money like that? Wouldn’t you wanna know where they got that money? Wouldn’t you be curious about that person?”

  “I don’t know,” I mumbled.

  “We hadn’t even known each other very long when you did it.”

  I pulled my hand away from him and wiped my nose. “So? You were my friend. I didn’t want you to go home. Besides, it was so unfair when they took that scholarship away.”

  He laughed. “No it wasn’t. I partied too much and I never studied. I lost that thing fair and square.”

  I was too angry to laugh. “Well, stop questioning my gift, okay? And don’t open my mail again. It’s illegal.”

  “Whatever.” Corbie rolled his eyes. “You and your fucking secrets. Just tell me where your money comes from.”

  “Huh?”

  “Come on. So I don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

  “Why would you worry about it?”

  “Well, when you go on those trips and stuff. Like, what’s that about? Are you out earning money so you can give me a secret grad school scholarship?” His eyes were huge. “I’d like to know if you’re, maybe, helping with a Mob hit or running some kind of illegal drug racket. Or prostituting yourself.”

  I looked down at the floor, biting my lip.

  “Can you blame me?” he said. “How could I live with myself if I knew you were doing something terrible to keep me here? I’d rather just not have the money at all.”

  I inhaled deeply and looked up into his eyes. “My trips have nothing to do with my money. You have no reason to worry.”

  “Well, what are the trips for, then? Why’d you need that fancy hotel suite in Vancouver?”

  I shrugged.

  “Come on!” He met my eyes with an angry glare. “We’re friends, right? It goes both ways. If you’re allowed to give me money for school, I’m allowed to wonder what the hell you’re doing. Just tell me.”

  “It’s really not that interesting.”

  His mouth hung open. “Bullshit. If it’s not that interesting, it shouldn’t be a big deal to tell me all about it.”

  I thought back to the stressful talk I’d just had in that kitchen with Caleb, and I was suddenly tired. “You know what? I’ve had a long day. It’s Tyler’s birthday and I’m gonna go back out there and see him.”

  “Sure. You do that.” He snorted as he stood there, shaking his head.

  “What is it? You’re mad at me because I won’t tell you everything?”

  “Tell me everything? You won’t tell me anything. I sure hope you’re not like that with Tyler.” He laughed. “That’d drive me fuckin’ nuts if I was your boyfriend.”

  “Well, you’re not. You’re just a friend. And right now, I think you’re kind of a dick.” I turned around, ready to walk out of the kitchen.

  “I’m just telling you the truth, Susie. Most guys wouldn’t put up with that shit.”

  “Fuck you, Corbie.” I stopped, turning back to look at him. “I’m gonna go tell my cousin to try to hook up with someone else tonight instead of you. Maybe Joe or Cyrus.”

  His eyebrows both went straight up. “Wait. What?”

  “Yeah. You’ll probably just ask her questions about me all night anyway.”

  “Huh?” His tone was suddenly kind. “Your cousin wants to hook up with me?”

  “Maybe. She’s on vacation and she wants to have a good time tonight. She asked me earlier who’d I’d pick and I told her you.” I smirked. “But I think I’ve changed my mind.”

  “No.” He shook his head fast. “No, I won’t ask her about you. I won’t talk about you at all.”

  “I find that hard to believe.” I stormed out of the kitchen.

  I almost didn’t hear him follow me, over the music and noise in the living room. Tyler was still talking and laughing with the guys. The people drinking in the dining room had moved to the living room. Ashley, Jacinda, and Joan danced in front of the television, with Dan and Joe hanging back a few feet like they were afraid to make their approach.

  “Hey.” Corbie stopped me with a strong hand on my shoulder.

  I saw Tyler sitting near the coffee table, taking another bong hit, oblivious to me standing there behind the recliner with Corbie. “What?”

  He bent down to my ear. “I’m sorry. I mean it.”

  I glanced at Tyler again before I spoke in Corbie’s ear. “Yeah, right. You just wanna screw my cousin.”

  He looked in Ashley’s direction. “I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea but that’s not why I’m sorry.”

  “Whatever.”

  “I’m serious.” His voice was whiny. “I’m just cranky. I’m on no sleep. I’ve been studying my ass off. And working my ass off. You’re right, I was a dick. I’m sorry.”

  I backed away far enough to look in his eyes, hoping he could see my anger. He was still bent down far enough for me to talk in his ear. “If
that’s true, then quit your job. Please.”

  “I can’t. I feel too bad about taking your money.”

  “You have no idea how much that hurts my feelings. I love you, Corbie.”

  He glanced in Tyler’s direction before drawing me into a warm hug. “I love you, too. That’s why it’s hard for me to take the money.”