A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man

by Frank Vincent

  6. The Pride of the Yankees (1942. Dir. Sam Wood. Cast: Gary Cooper, Teresa Wright, Babe Ruth, Walter Brennan.) Gary Cooper’s role as baseball’s legendary Lou Gehrig established the actor as a megastar in Hollywood. The scene where Cooper re-creates Gehrig’s moving speech in Yankee Stadium as his career was cut short by ALS stands as a high-water mark in sports movie history. Theresa Wright portrays Lou’s heroic wife, Eleanor; Walter Brennan, and Babe Ruth as himself contribute to this great American story.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”—Lou Gehrig (Gary Cooper)

  7. Bull Durham (1988. Dir. Ron Shelton. Cast: Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Kevin Costner, Trey Wilson.) Annie Savoy (Sarandon) is the type of woman whom a man’s man does not mind hanging around the locker room. Every season, she picks a lucky player on the Durham Bulls baseball team to share her wisdom, but more important, her bed. This season, she chooses Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh (Robbins) whose brain is a few apples short of a bushel. But she realizes that the veteran ball player Crash Davis (Costner) would have been the more stimulating choice in the bed and the brain. All men’s men love the steamy sex scenes between Sarandon’s and Costner’s characters.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Man, that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean, anything that travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don’t you think?”—Crash Davis (Kevin Costner)

  8. Caddyshack (1980. Dir. Harold Ramis. Cast: Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Bill Murray.) Not since Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis’s The Caddy some thirty years earlier has any movie poked so much fun at golf. The setting is the wacky Bushwood Country Club, where an assortment of zany characters sets a frantic pace. There’s loud, vulgar, extremely rich member Al Czervik (Dangerfield), gopher-hunting groundskeeper Carl (Murray), obnoxious club president Judge Smaills (Knight), laid-back playboy president Ty Webb (Chase), and other funny golfing types. This is a hilarious must-see man’s man golfing flick directed by Harold Ramis (Ghost-busters and Stripes).Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.”—Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield)

  9. North Dallas Forty (1979. Dir. Ted Kotcheff. Cast: Nick Nolte, Mac Davis, Charles Durning, Dayle Haddon.) This man’s man pro football flick is strictly from the “no pain, no gain” school of hard knocks football movies. An unusual take on the professional gridiron world, the film focuses on labor abuses in pro football and is ranked by critics and players as one of the best football films ever made. This movie is loosely based on the Dallas Cowboys team of the early 1970s.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “This is national TV. So don’t pick your noses or scratch your nuts.”—Coach Johnson (Charles Durning)

  10. Seabiscuit (2003. Dir. Gary Ross. Cast: Tobey Maguire, Jeff Bridges, Chris Cooper, William H. Macy.) This Depression-era true story of one of the most famous horses in all of horseracing history is a must-see. An ex-prize fighter Red Pollard (Maguire) and horse trainer Tom Smith (Cooper) team up with self-made millionaire Charles Howard (Bridges) and his undersized horse with an oversized heart. As a team, they bring the larger-than-life Seabiscuit to incredible heights of success as the nation cheers on this unlikely hero. Also, William H. Macy plays a great sleazy radio announcer.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “You know, everybody thinks we found this broken-down horse and fixed him. But we didn’t. He fixed us; every one of us. And I guess in a way, we kinda fixed each other, too.”—Red Pollard (Tobey Maguire)

  War Flicks

  There are not a lot of good things you can say about war. However, there are a lot of good films that have been made depicting the wars throughout our modern history. The ones that impressed me the most are the ones that document the events of the last century. A lot of stars made their bones in war movies: people like George C. Scott, Robert De Niro, Steve McQueen, Christopher Walken, and Martin Sheen, just to name a few men’s men.

  I remember seeing a lot of war movies when I was a kid, among them Sands of Iwo Jima (for which John Wayne received his first Academy Award nomination) and From Here to Eternity (Frank Sinatra’s Academy Award-winning role). We looked at soldiers as heroes when I was growing up, and my pals and I used to “play war” in the streets. We used any situation as a setting for our kids’-style war games. I remember one huge snowstorm from my childhood like it was yesterday. Snow fell in Jersey City for days and days, just like it did in the Battle of the Bulge during World War II. It piled at least three feet high, perfect to build snow forts and create our own battle scenes. We emulated our heroes from the war movies like James Stewart, Richard Widmark, Henry Fonda, and Errol Flynn, as we launched our attack on the kids from the next block. My brother and I would throw snowballs like hand grenades and use our sleds as tanks. There were only two things that would get us to stop playing: my mother’s hot chocolate and the O’Neill twin sisters down the block. Talk about snow bunnies!

  I did a stint in the army when I got called to active duty during the Berlin Crisis. President John F. Kennedy called up 150,000 troops. At that time, I was in the control group of the United States Army Reserves and my name got picked out of a hat. They sent me a letter to report to Fort Dix in two weeks. I was married, had a daughter, and was playing music in clubs, but hey, when Uncle Sam rang, you answered. I learned a lot from my time in the service. I learned about patriotism and respect for my country. There was a lot of camaraderie between soldiers and to overcome the tension of possibly being sent overseas there were a lot of jokers in the unit. I’ll never forget the time a few guys in the next barracks nailed some smart-ass sergeant’s combat boots to the floor for giving them a hard time. Did you ever try to put boots on in a hurry, only to find that they are nailed to the floor? Those are the things you don’t usually see on the screen, unless you happen to be watching M*A*S*H.

  Let’s face it, war movies made right after serious conflicts like Vietnam, Korea, World War II, etc., didn’t reflect much humor. What they did reflect was inspiration and a better grasp of what it was like for our troops to fight for our freedom. In my list below you will see some of the most influential and well-made war movies of all time. Movies that epitomize what a man’s man is all about. Why do we want to be like the soldiers we see on film? Soldiers are strong, daring, patriotic and, most important . . . women love men in uniform!1. Patton (1970. Dir. Franklin J. Schaffner. Cast: George C. Scott, Karl Malden, Stephen Young, Michael Strong, Carey Loftin.) Nicknamed “Old Blood and Guts,” General George Patton came alive on the movie screen in the form of George C. Scott’s memorable man’s man Academy Award-winning performance as the legendary World War II leader. A fascinating personality, Patton believed he was an eighteenth-century general living in the modern era, and Scott developed all the nuances of this complex warrior. The mastermind of important Allied victories in North Africa and Europe, Patton valued the support of his friend General Omar Bradley (Karl Malden in a quality supporting role). The drumbeat to replace the outspoken Patton is explored, as well as his anticipation of the Soviet threat to postwar Europe. This is the ultimate man’s man war movie!Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”—General George Patton (George C. Scott)

  2. From Here to Eternity (1953. Dir. Fred Zinnemann. Cast: Burt Lancaster, Montgomery Clift, Deborah Kerr, Donna Reed, Frank Sinatra.) Although there have been several man’s man movies dealing with the December 7, 1941, attack on Pearl Harbor (In Harm’s Way, Tora! Tora! Tora!, and Pearl Harbor, among them), none has been quite as effective as this one. Oscar-winning director Fred Zinnemann really makes the audience care about the servicemen and their civilian girlfriends involved in that fateful event on the eve of America’s entrance into World War II. Based on the novel by James Jones, this hard-hitting view of Army life in Hawaii just before December 7 received eight Academy Awards, including Best Picture.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “I’m
just a private no-class dogface. The way most civilians look at that, that’s two steps up from nothin’.”—Pvt. Robert E. Lee “Prew” Prewitt (Montgomery Clift)

  3. Apocalypse Now (1979. Dir. Francis Ford Coppola. Cast: Marlon Brando, Martin Sheen, Robert Duvall, Laurence Fishburne, Dennis Hopper, Harrison Ford.) Filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola’s stark vision of the Vietnam War with renegade free-wheeling Colonel Kurtz (Brando) at the center of the action operating from across the border in Cambodia makes for a one-of-a-kind man’s man war movie. The reality of war is present in every scene. Highlights include a chilling ride upriver aboard an army patrol boat in enemy territory and a dawn raid on a Viet Cong-held costal village led by the demented Colonel Kilgore (Duvall).Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”—Colonel Kilgore (Robert Duvall)

  4. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930. Dir. Lewis Milestone. Cast: Louis Wolheim, Lew Ayres, John Wray, Arnold Lucy, Ben Alexander.) Recognized as one of the greatest anti-war movies, its theme of German school pals marching off to the horrors of World War I only to be maimed and killed one by one was way ahead of its time in its extreme realism. Director Lewis Milestone showed a view of war never before been seen on screen. This was before the days of computer generated images, so he cast 2,000 extras for the battle scenes. The movie grabs you from the get-go by showing the grimness of war through the eyes of a twenty-one-year-old recruit (Ayres).Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “I’ll take the mother’s milk out of you. I’ll make you hard-boiled. I’ll make soldiers out of you or kill you.”—Officer Himmelstoss (John Wray)

  5. Platoon (1986. Dir. Oliver Stone. Cast: Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, Charlie Sheen, Forest Whitaker.) Oliver Stone wrote and directed this film, reportedly based on his own personal experiences as an American soldier in Vietnam. There’s solid man’s man ensemble acting, showing the variety of people who make up the fighting force. The audience clearly sees the soldiers’ fears, weaknesses, and motivations all framed within the painstakingly detailed horrors of the Vietnam War. Stone, himself, is even seen on-screen in a small role, just as he was in several other of his movies like Wall Street and Born on the Fourth of July.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “He killed him, I know that he killed him, I saw his eyes when we came back in.”—Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen)

  6. Sands of Iwo Jima (1949. Dir. Allan Dwan. Cast: John Wayne, John Agar, Adele Mara, Forrest Tucker.) Under the veteran directorial hand of Allan Dwan, this solid example of a man’s man war movie follows a squad of rebellious Marine recuits from training in New Zealand in 1943 to the capture of Iwo Jima—acknowledged as one of the toughest campaigns of World War II. At forty-two, the star, John Wayne, was surrounded by bright young actors in their mid-twenties. Dwans’s movie was so authentic that he cast the real-life Marines who actually raised the American flag after victory at Iwo Jima to do the same thing in this flick.Most Memorable Man’s man Line: “You idiot. When are you gonna wake up? You wanna see that dame again, keep your mind on your work.”—Sgt. Stryker (John Wayne)

  7. Saving Private Ryan (1998. Dir. Steven Spielberg. Cast: Tom Hanks, Matt Damon, Ed Burns, Tom Sizemore, Vin Diesel, Ted Danson.) Just when you thought you saw every meaningful movie about World War II, an extraordinary man’s man moviemaker like Steven Spielberg comes along to present a war movie with a unique angle. Army Captain John Miller (Hanks) gets an unusual assignment and takes eight soldiers behind enemy lines to save Private Ryan (Damon). Ryan’s the only surviving brother of four in his family to serve in the military. The opening scenes showing Omaha Beach on D-Day challenge anything ever filmed about this bloody World War II invasion.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “He better be worth it. He better go home and cure a disease, or invent a longer-lasting lightbulb.”—Captain John Miller (Tom Hanks)

  8. Full Metal Jacket (1987. Dir. Stanley Kubrick. Cast: Matthew Modine, Adam Baldwin, Vincent D’Onofrio, R. Lee Ermey.) This film focuses on an average guy and follows him through basic training to his work in the field as a Marine Corps photojournalist. It also covers the brutal fighting at the start of the Tet offensive of the Vietnam War. This two-hour-long motion picture delivers one of the most realistic Marine bootcamp portrayals ever to be put on a movie screen. Based on the novel written by Gustav Hasford, who also co-wrote the movie script with director Stanley Kubrick and Michael Herr, the film features powerful performances by Matthew Modine and Vincent D’Onofrio.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Five-foot-nine, I didn’t know they stacked shit that high.”—Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey)

  9. Born on the Fourth of July (1989. Dir. Oliver Stone. Cast: Tom Cruise, Byran Larkin, Raymond J. Barry, Caroline Kava.) This film is based on the book by paralyzed Vietnam war veteran Ron Kovic. After feeling betrayed by the United States, Kovic became an antiwar and pro-human rights activist. This is a movie that focuses more on the aftereffects of war than the war itself—an interesting point of view. Oliver Stone shoots the film beautifully with the help of his great cinematographer Robert Richardson.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Sometimes, Stevie, I think people, they know you’re back from Vietnam, and their face changes: the eyes, the voice, the way they look at you, you know?”—Ron Kovic (Tom Cruise)

  10. The Thin Red Line (1998. Dir. Terrence Malick. Cast: Sean Penn, James Caviezel, Adrien Brody, George Clooney, John Cusack, Woody Harrelson.) This second treatment of the story of a rifle company battling to win at Guadalcanal in the World War II Pacific Front has the edge over its predecessor (first done in 1964). While the relationship between Penn and Caviezel takes center stage in maverick man’s man director Terrence Malick’s later version, it’s also the approach of going from soldier to soldier and getting into each guy’s head that provides the overall strength of this film.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “I might be your best friend, and you don’t even know it.”—First Sgt. Edward Welsh (Sean Penn)

  Chick Flicks

  (I don’t think so.)

  Smoking Cigars Like a Man’s Man

  They call cigars “the smoke of kings.” From the $5,000 humidor that sits on your desk to the $1,000 lighter you keep in your pocket to your $200 cutter, cigars are a true lifestyle. There’s nothing like when a man’s man opens his humidor, looks at his selection, and picks his smoke. After that, he properly cuts and lights it. Finally, he sits back and enjoys the cigar—the most important step. Whether he’s by himself after dinner, in his backyard, or with friends sharing a scotch at a fancy cigar bar, it’s always an exciting experience.

  As a musician, you always hear about music being a universal language, and I believe that’s true. However, I believe it’s also the same with cigars. You can get a bunch of different men’s men together who don’t know each other and are from different backgrounds and professions, throw some cigars into the mix, and suddenly they’re old friends. It doesn’t matter how much money you make, what kind of clothes you wear, or what kind of car you drive. What matters is that you all share a passion for cigars, and that you’re sharing that same passion at that same moment. You can talk about baseball, golf, politics, women, or work, but underneath it all, those things are totally irrelevant—it’s about sharing a passion for cigars. I’ve been in cigar stores where I’ve seen a multimillionaire CEO talking and smoking cigars with a bus driver. Talk about breaking down barriers! They were chatting away and puffing on their stogies with not a care in the world. Those two men’s men probably would have never spoken or met if they didn’t both love a good cigar. All of a sudden there’s a camaraderie and a special bonding that occurs. That’s what cigars do. They’re a celebration of the “good life” that always brings people together.

  Many men’s men throughout history have been noted cigar smokers. General Ulysses S. Grant was possibly the biggest cigar smoker ever. Grant, who of course went on to become president for two terms, was the most photographed person of the nineteenth century and was known to smoke up to fifteen cigars a day. (By the way, that’s not recommended.) Politicians like fo
rmer President Bill Clinton really enjoy cigars during work and play (I won’t even go there). Actors like Denzel Washington, John Travolta, Joe Pantoliano, and James Gandolfini are famous cigar aficionados, along with actor-turned-politician Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sports figures like Michael Jordan and Wayne Gretzky enjoy their stogies, too. Historical figures like Mark Twain and Sigmund Freud puffed on many back in the day. Also, comedians like the late Milton Berle and George Burns had a common love of quality cigars. In fact, in his older years, Burns once joked, “I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.” They are all men’s men who fully enjoy (or enjoyed) a good cigar.

  Now, not every man’s man smokes a cigar. Some do and some don’t. Personally, I’ve always loved them. When I was growing up, my grandfather and father smoked cigars. As a young man, I smoked a cigar because I thought it made me look older and was the masculine thing to do. I eventually acquired a taste for them. I have even owned my own cigar line called Public Enemy (with my cigar mentor Lou Silver). It was a fantastic cigar, and anyone who smoked it loved it. There was a specific color we went after in the leaf of the tobacco. We also used a lot of secret ingredients, but if I told you what they were, I would have to put you in my trunk and give you a ride upstate. Also, the characters I’ve played on-screen have often smoked cigars. In films like Gotti, This Thing of Ours, and She’s the One (where I played Jennifer Aniston’s father) my characters were all cigar smokers.

  Now, a cigar definitely helps add to your man’s man character image, but only if you know how to smoke one correctly. A man’s man can spot a rookie cigar smoker in a crowded room any night of the week. In this chapter, I am going to show you all the ropes to smoking a cigar like a man’s man so you won’t stand out in the crowd for the wrong reasons. You don’t want to be that moron at the bachelor party who lights the wrong end of the cigar. Nothing is more embarrassing than having your friends (or more important, some hot exotic dancers) laughing in your face. If you want to look the man’s man part, you have to learn to be the part. From selecting to cutting to lighting, I got you covered with the best cigar tips known to man. So, keep reading!