A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man

by Frank Vincent

  Lighting Up

  After you have made your cut and unveiled your best lighter, you have to light your cigar. The way you light it is key. Real men’s men use a simple and effective two-step procedure. The first step is to “toast the cigar,” and I don’t mean toasting it like an English muffin. Take the cigar and hold it out in front of you. Hold the flame of your lighter just below the bottom of your cigar. You want the flame to dance under the foot of the cigar—you do not want to put the flame directly on the cigar. Remember, you are just “toasting” it in this step, not actually lighting it. Then, when you see the tobacco start to glow, the second step is to put the cigar in your mouth. Begin to puff on it, and then fully light it by touching the flame directly to the end, rotating the cigar so that it is evenly lit. This two-step maneuver will guarantee proper ignition. Later, if your cigar begins to burn unevenly (referred to as “canoeing”) only apply the flame to the less ignited portion until the cigar is burning on an even playing field. If you are engaged in stimulating conversation (like chatting with a gorgeous woman wearing a low-cut blouse), your cigar may briefly go out. Hey, it happens. If it does, repeat the simple two-step plan listed above and, most important, get the woman’s phone number!

  Here is a common question guys always ask me: Is it better to light your fellow man’s man cigar or to pass him a lighter and let him light it himself? The answer is . . . both. There’s honestly no right or wrong answer. The advantage to having someone light your cigar for you is that the other person can see the end. On the other hand, you know how you like your cigar lit. Also, if you opt not to light another fellow’s cigar and pass him your lighter instead, you run the risk of “sticky fingers.” (I’ve lost many lighters that way). My advice: A man’s man passes the lighter already lit, or he lights his fellow man’s man’s cigar for him. Not hard, fellas.

  Ashing

  Ideally, you want to let your ash get as long as you’re comfortable with (a longer ash allows the cigar to burn at its coolest). By the same token, if you’re wearing a $4,000 suit, it ain’t the time to have an ash contest with your Wall Street buddies, because you’ll end up wearing it! A man’s man ashes with care and class. Now, you do not tap your cigar on the edge of the ashtray to break off the ash. Instead, you roll the end of your cigar and allow the ash to fall off naturally. Remember, it’s just a leaf—if you tap it too hard, you’ll run the risk of cracking the leaf and, ultimately, the cigar will not burn properly. A man’s man pays attention when he ashes, no matter how many cognacs he’s had. Lastly, when you are through with your cigar, a man’s man does not crush it into the ashtray like a cigarette. When you crush a cigar, it opens up the body. Then, all the tars and oils seep out and a disgusting odor will immediately invade your zone. The cigar just sits there cracked open, smoldering and stinking up the joint. It ain’t a pretty scene. So, when a man’s man is through with his cigar, he puts it down in the ashtray and lets it go out on its own.

  Storing

  Humidors can range anywhere from $500 to $30,000. If you are a man’s man who takes cigar smoking seriously, you will definitely own one. If you haven’t finished this book yet and are still in the “guy” category, let me put it into simple terms: Do you keep a twelve-pack of Bud in the trunk of your car for four weeks in August and then crack one open? No, because it’ll taste like camel piss. So, you store the beer in a refrigerator. Okay, the same concept applies here, fellas.

  The most important characteristic of any humidor is that it seals properly, and that the humidification device turns on and off correctly. If you prefer to smoke a cigar either bone dry or soaking wet, I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. I’m just not going to smoke with you. Hey, to each his own. But, if you want to do it right, you need to maintain a precise balance of temperature and humidity that will keep the cigar in proper condition so it will burn, draw, and age properly.

  The ideal levels are a temperature of 70 degrees and 70 percent humidity, but you can compensate. For example, if you can’t get the room where your humidor is located to above 65 degrees, you may want to increase your humidity to 75 degrees in order to compensate for the lack of temperature. 70/70 ensures that the tobacco will burn at the proper rate of combustion, and that the filler portion of the tobacco will burn evenly in relation to the rest. It’s not going to be so moist that you can’t draw through the cigar because it collapses, and its not going to be so dry that the smoke burns hot. 70/70 will also ensure that when your cigars are in the humidor, the tobacco is aging properly.

  You might have a humidor separated into top and bottom shelves, where the humidification device is only in the top lid. In that case, the cigars in the top of your humidor will be getting more humidity than the cigars on the bottom. So, how often do you rotate them? It depends. You take your hand and feel the cigars on the bottom and then feel the ones on the top. If it feels like the ones on the bottom of the tray are getting dry, then you’ve got to move them up. Remember, cigars demand the proper attention—certainly not hours and hours of time, but you do need to make yourself familiar with the process.

  Once again, you do not want to add outside elements to your cigars—like cedar or other aromas that change how the cigars will age. In fact, cigars can affect other cigars in the same box. For instance, you do not want to put a flavored cigar in a humidor with non-flavored cigars. There is an aromatic component to that flavored cigar that can affect your other sticks. Also, if you just shaved and put aftershave on your face, you do not want to reach into your humidor and take out a cigar—they’ll absorb all of that aftershave smell. In general, you want to keep what I call “naked cigars” (cigars out of cellophane) away from flavored naked cigars. Ideally, if you are buying cigars for long-term aging, then you should buy enough to be able to isolate those twenty or fifteen cigars in a humidor with a divider and let them age together, let the oils change within themselves without affecting your other cigars. Or, you should consider getting a humidor that will accommodate full boxes, and age your cigars in the boxes as they were intended by the manufacturer. A cabinet humidor is the best because it’s electric and it accommodates full boxes. Of course, not everyone can afford that kind of equipment. If you are a normal man’s man who owns one humidor and buys a few cigars a week, just rotate your cigars regularly to keep them fresh. The bottom line is to own a humidor of some kind and control the temperature accordingly.

  Man’s Man Cigar Manners

  Okay fellas, here’s some closing advice before you head into the big bad world of cigar smoking. Don’t chew on the end of your cigar—that ain’t cool. Nothing’s more unattractive than a man holding a gnawed cigar, soaking wet from his own slobber, that looks like something his great-grandfather would have been smoking. Make sure you do not have tobacco on your teeth. Don’t blow smoke in peoples’ faces. Also, be careful of a 71⁄2-inch cigar sticking out of your mouth when you are walking through crowds. When you turn to say hello to someone at a cocktail party, you could have a major problem! Lastly, a man’s man fully respects the environment that he’s in. I don’t feel it is possible to enjoy a cigar knowing that there are people around who are annoyed that you’re smoking it. If a man’s man is sitting on a bench in Central Park next to a mother and baby in a stroller, he can’t in good conscience enjoy his cigar. But, at the same time, expect a little bit of accommodation. For example, today in New York and Los Angeles you can only smoke at a few places—cigar bars and some outdoor cafés. Those are a man’s man sanctuary to smoke, and if you’re there, a man’s man will thank you to keep your opinion to yourself! Listen, you don’t have to be “Mr. Rogers” while you’re puffing on your stogie, but just always remember to have some manners and class.

  Man’s Man Interview with Vincent “Big Pussy” Pastore

  There is nothing like having a smoke with a good friend, and Vincent Pastore is definitely a good friend. I have known Vinny for over fifteen years, and he is a man’s man through and through. During Vinny’s movie and television c
areer, he has played many unforgettable roles and worked alongside some of the top talent in the business. Who could forget him in his role of Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero on HBO’s hit series The Sopranos? Vinny has also had recurring roles on ABC-TV’s The Practice and One Life to Live, as well as roles in major television movies like HBO’s Gotti with Armand Assante and A Slight Case of Murder starring William H. Macy. On the big screen, Vinny recently appeared in Revolver, under the direction of Guy Ritchie. His other man’s man feature film credits also include Made (John Favreau and Vince Vaughn); Deuces Wild (Matt Dillon); The Hurricane (Denzel Washington); Serving Sara (Matthew Perry and Elizabeth Hurley); and Mickey Blue Eyes (James Caan and Hugh Grant). He could be heard as the voice of “Luca” in the Dream-Works animated hit movie Shark Tale. Also, if you’re a man’s man, you’ll tune into the radio show he hosts every week on Sirius Satellite Radio called The Wiseguy Show. Vinny and I decided to talk over some high-quality stogies at the world-famous Davidoff cigar store on Madison Avenue in New York City. Check this out . . .

  Frank Vincent: Vin, I have seen many photos of you smoking cigars. What’s the story behind that?

  Vincent Pastore: I started smoking on-screen when I first appeared on The Sopranos because my character, “Big Pussy,” smoked a cigar. It was actually written into the script by David Chase. After that, I got very used to smoking them. What happened from the pilot of The Sopranos to maybe the second episode of season one was that I switched from smoking a big stogie on screen, to smoking little cigars. I made a choice for my character to smoke those small ones instead of the big ones because Jimmy Gandolfini was smoking the big ones all the time. I guess it was my way of differentiating “Big Pussy” from the rest of the other characters. Even in Guy Ritchie’s film Revolver , Guy actually wrote my character smoking a cigar into the script.

  FV: We’ve known each other since the beginning of your career. How many movies have we done together?

  VP: The first movie we were both in together was Street Hunter starring John Leguizamo, back in 1990.

  FV: We were also in Witness to the Mob, Gotti, Under Hellgate Bridge, Remedy, This Thing of Ours . . .

  VP: We have been in a total of eleven movies together. Most recently, A Tale Of Two Pizzas, which I had a blast working with you on.

  FV: Me too, pal! Remember, we also did a play together called East of Evil by Philip Carlo.

  VP: Yup, Tony Sirico was in that,1 too!

  FV: In many of those movies I remember you smoking a cigar. Do you think it helps add to your character on-screen?

  VP: I think it definitely helps to define the character. There’s a difference between a character in a film or TV show who’s a cigar smoker and one who’s a cigarette smoker. For instance, when I played Angelo in the movie Gotti, he chain-smoked cigarettes. By doing that, it showed his nervousness. However, when a character smokes a cigar, he appears a lot calmer, right, Frank?

  FV: More relaxed, absolutely.

  VP: As you know, there are scenes when you as the actor have to make the choices on whether to smoke the cigar or not. It depends

  what the scene calls for. Now when you’re doing a play, there can be problems. I did a play recently called Golden Boy, with Maureen Van Zandt. Many people in the audience did not like the smell of the cigar I smoked onstage. It was a period piece set in the ’30s and my character was a cigar smoker. So, I felt it was necessary. You have to play the moment onstage. Also, as an actor, you have to make sure you smoke the cigar correctly at all times.

  FV: So, a cigar has become part of your image, your style, per se.

  VP: Yes, the cigar defines a certain style for a character. For instance, you never see Tony Sirico smoking cigars on screen, but you will see Gandolfini or Joey Pants (Pantoliano) smoking them. It’s just something you naturally adopt and then go with. Also, the type of cigar you’re smoking can help define your character as well. When I was doing the hit mob comedy Mickey Blue Eyes (starring Hugh Grant and James Caan), Frank Pellegrino and I were on-screen partners and I came to the conclusion that our characters were “zips.” Now, “zips” are guys who work in the mob, but are more lower-echelon members of the family. So, I smoked De Noble’s.

  FV: Right, Al Pacino’s character Sonny was like a “zip” in Donnie Brasco.

  VP: Yeah, yeah. More of a street guy. My take on it is that there are different levels of gangsters. So, if you were an upper-echelon gangster and had more money, you would buy yourself a $25 cigar, right?

  FV: Right, it’s more to impress and look cooler. When you were growing up, did anyone smoke cigars in your family?

  VP: My grandfather Pastore smoked De Noble’s. The old-timers smoked them, and they still do to this day!

  FV: During my youth, I was always intrigued by cigars. I thought they made you look grown up and like a man’s man. As a kid, did you want to try a cigar when you saw your grandfather smoking one?

  VP: Yes and no. Actually, I didn’t start smoking cigars until my early forties, when I was working in nightclubs. When I worked the door at the clubs, I didn’t like to smoke cigarettes. I liked smoking cigars because they lasted longer.

  FV: Vinny, just for some background, tell our readers about your history in the nightclub business.

  VP: I was in the nightclub business from 1967 till ’87. They were places all located in Westchester, New York. The most significant establishments I worked

  at were the Lallipop and Peach Tree’s, which was a big disco in New Rochelle, New York. I even owned a club called the Crazy Horse.

  VINCENT PASTORE

  Favorite Man’s Man Cigar:

  Davidoff Double R

  Favorite Character Played

  Who Smoked a Cigar:

  “Big Pussy”

  Favorite Legendary Man’s Man

  Actor Who Smoked a Cigar:

  Edward G. Robinson

  Favorite Man’s Man Drink to

  Have with a Cigar:

  Remy or

  Courvoisier (with a water chaser)

  FV: It was in the club business where you first got the acting bug, right?

  VP: Yes. It was from meeting actors Matt Dillon and his brother Kevin. They used to come to my club, the Crazy Horse, because they liked the rock ’n’ roll bands that played there. They weren’t into the disco scene. They were into the rock ’n’ roll, shot, and beer bars. I used to overhear everyone bugging Matt to help get them acting work. I never asked Matt or Kevin for that kind of favor. However, after years went by and I decided I wanted to get out of the club business, I spoke to Matt and Kevin and they introduced me to their manager. I remember going to Kevin’s manager, Charles Massey, at his office. I was literally in and out because I didn’t even know what a monologue was. Then, I went home and I memorized a monologue and went back to see him.

  FV: Kevin Dillon is doing very well right now.

  VP: Yeah, he’s on the hit HBO show Entourage. At that time, he had just done Oliver Stone’s Platoon and he was hot.

  FV: Any famous men’s men that you liked from cinema past who smoked cigars?

  VP: Edward G. Robinson in the movie Key Largo was definitely a man’s man.

  FV: Big-time man’s man.

  VP: Robinson even had the cigar in his mouth when he was sitting in the bathtub scene. He was the best!

  FV: Who are some famous men’s men you have sat down and smoked cigars with?

  VP: James Gandolfini and I have smoked cigars together. I have also had the pleasure to have a smoke with actor William Forsythe. Actor /director/writer Jon Favreau and I smoked many cigars on the set of his film Made. I had a smoke with actor William H. Macy and our director from A Slight Case of Murder, Steven Schachter. But, one of the most memorable times was with Armand Assante, who loves to sit at a table with a bunch of men’s men and just talk and smoke cigars.

  FV: Yes, Armand is definitely a great host. We had a great time at his house. Vinny, what do you like the most about cigars?

  VP:
Cigars relax me. You can have a nice moment alone or with friends and just unwind. I like to smoke them more outside the house than inside. I live approximately 100 yards from the beach here on City Island, New York. Sometimes I light a cigar and walk to the beach. It is a great escape for me and helps me clear my head. To me, it’s a form of meditation. There’s nothing better in life than having a nice smoke.

  Mangia Like a Man’s Man

  The way to a man’s man’s heart is through his stomach. But that doesn’t mean he’s sitting around waiting for his woman to cook for him! Now, it’s true that most “guys” don’t cook, but a man’s man can certainly hold his own in the kitchen. He lives by the motto “food is fun” and tries to eat and make different dishes all the time. A man’s man never eats the same thing more than once a week. Hey, you go to the gym to work out, right? Well, a man’s man works out his taste buds, too! To be a well-rounded, contemporary man in today’s society, you have to know about good cuisine. You want to impress your woman, friends, relatives, colleagues—anyone you deem good enough to break bread with. I feel that breaking bread with people is one of the most personal and intimate things you can do, and a man’s man always does it with style.