Turning to face Russ, she caught her bottom lip with her teeth. “Um, I guess I’ll be seeing you. I’m, uh, sorry about all this. I mean, the trouble and everything.”
Russ’s expression relaxed a fraction. Damn her! She looked so adorable trying to say something that wouldn’t sound awkward. But there was nothing either of them could say to make this all go away.
The damage was done. She was going to have to face it. Instead of challenging her, he decided to let her go, knowing she’d soon realize just how serious he was about doing the honorable thing and marrying her.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, too,” he said quietly.
But as she walked out the door and closed it behind her, he knew he wasn’t sorry about everything. He was sorry as hell that he’d messed up. He was sorry he’d taken her virginity when under normal circumstances, he’d have never allowed himself to get close enough to her for that to be a possibility.
He wasn’t sorry he knew what it was like to make love to her.
As he walked into the bathroom to shower, Russ thought about the position they were in. Maybe Lynn didn’t think marriage was a good idea, but he knew it was the only answer. He didn’t give his word lightly. Ryder had looked him directly in the eyes and asked if Russ was going to marry his sister. Unable to lie about the situation, Russ had gone along with Lynn’s ruse, knowing in his heart that he’d meant it.
Turning on the shower, he adjusted the water temperature and stepped inside, letting the hot spray cover his body. He knew he was in dangerous territory. He’d made up his mind a long time ago not to get emotionally involved with another woman, and until he’d ended up in bed with Lynn McCall, he’d had no trouble sticking to his plans to remain single and detached.
His wife had taught him a hard lesson, but he’d been a quick learner. Her rejection had stung, but it had also toughened his skin. Despite what had happened between him and Lynn, he wasn’t going to allow her close enough to hurt him. He had a suspicious feeling that if he did, her rejection would hurt ten times more than Candace’s.
Looking back at his past, he’d married Candace because he’d been searching for the American dream—a house, a loving wife, a family. Not that he hadn’t cared for her—he had, as much as he’d allowed himself to. And apparently his feelings for her had been a hell of a lot deeper than hers for him. While he’d been busy building them a secure life together, she’d been running around on him.
Well, hell, he didn’t need more sorrow, didn’t need a fresh taste of feminine rejection. His relationship with Candace had left a bitter taste in his mouth that hadn’t diminished despite the years that had passed. He wasn’t going to put his heart on the line for Lynn McCall to stomp on. He’d keep his emotions out of this dilemma.
Reaching over and turning off the water, he reminded himself that his emotions really had little to do with it. He’d given his word. That was basically the story in a nutshell. His heart wasn’t in danger because he wasn’t in love with Lynn. Even if he married her, he’d keep it that way. Besides, he knew it wouldn’t be a forever-after kind of relationship. Hell, it wouldn’t even be a real marriage.
Of course, if she was pregnant with his child, that would change the stakes quite a bit. But what were the chances of that happening? As he dried off and began to dress, he berated himself for putting her at risk. Crockett was a town where everyone knew each other. The people were far from liberal, and they had their share of meddlers who would jump on the tiniest tidbit of information, turn it into a scandal and feed on it for months. He hated thinking he would be the one responsible for starting rumors about Lynn.
Pulling on his jeans, he tucked in his black short-sleeved shirt, then buckled his belt. He sat down on the bed and yanked on his socks and boots. After slapping on some cologne and combing his hair, he grabbed his hat and left his quarters, then headed across the wide, dusty yard to the main house where the McCall family lived.
Though it was the end of summer, Mother Nature apparently hadn’t noticed. The hot, Texas sun baked down on him, and he was nearly working up a sweat as he approached the house. The ranch-style structure was massive, and there was an ongoing construction project creating a new wing for Ryder, Ashley and their babies. Shaking his head, Russ chuckled to himself. Ryder had sworn he’d never marry and here he was about to have his third child in little over a year!
Taking the wooden porch steps two at a time, Russ stopped at the front door. Though he’d often been told to come in without knocking, it had never quite felt right. He hesitated briefly, then rapped his knuckles solidly on the screen door. A moment later, Ashley swung open the front door.
“Russ!” Her big brown eyes lit with excitement as they met his. “Ryder told me the news. Oh, my goodness, Russ Logan, you get in here and give me a hug!” Her grin was as welcoming as a cool breeze on a sweltering summer night.
Before Russ had a chance to prepare himself, she flung the screen door open and reached for him, pulling him as close as she could due to her enlarged belly. She was so exuberant, he had to put his arms around her to steady her. When she finally let him go, he stepped back and slowly met her gaze. Her eyes were shining as though she’d discovered the secret to a lifetime of happiness.
“Oh my gosh! You and Lynn getting married,” she went on, not giving him a chance to speak. “I’m so happy for you both.” Grabbing his arm, she looped hers through it and drew him toward the large den.
Russ gave her a slight nod and a forced grin. “Thanks,” was all he could manage to say. He and Lynn still had a lot to discuss, and he’d been hoping she’d be the one to greet him at the door. He wasn’t sure what he should be saying to Ashley and figured the less said, the better.
Matt, Jake’s twelve-year-old son, came rushing past them, knocking into Russ as he raced toward the door. “Oops! Sorry, Russ,” he said, breathing hard. “Ryder said I could go along with him while he was working today if I could get ready and be outside in time. Gotta go.” He raced out the door and took off toward the barn.
“He’s settled in nicely, hasn’t he?” Russ commented, not really expecting an answer.
“Quicker than anyone expected,” Ashley agreed. “He’s a great kid, and despite the fact that there was only his mother and him for so long, he appears to love being a part of a large family.” As soon as they walked into the den, two dark-headed babies crawled over to them as fast as they could move.
The next thing Russ knew, one of the babies, Melissa, he thought, was tugging on his leg in an effort to pull up and stand on her feet. Automatically, he bent down and picked her up. Though the twins looked alike, their personalities were very different. Melissa loved everyone, but Michelle tended to prefer her mom and dad’s attention.
“Catherine and Jake are sure to be surprised when they hear the news about you and Lynn. I can’t wait for them to return from their honeymoon,” Ashley remarked, picking up Michelle. She kissed the top of the baby’s head.
“Yeah,” Russ muttered, trying his best to remain evasive as he studied Melissa’s smiling face. As he looked at the baby, he thought about Lynn. She could be carrying his child right now! His heart jumped at the thought.
When he’d left Candace, he’d made up his mind that he’d never give his heart to another woman, which pretty much sealed his fate as far as having children was concerned. He thought he’d adjusted to the idea that he’d never be a father.
The possibility of Lynn being pregnant brought his earlier desires for a home and family to the surface. Though he didn’t really want her to be pregnant, he couldn’t deny the longing he felt inside. But he quashed it before he let his mind run with it, knowing it would be ridiculous for him to entertain such a foolish notion.
Lynn might have made love with him, but if she’d been in her right mind, she’d never have ended up in his bed. He couldn’t forget that.
“To tell you the truth, I’ve sort of suspected that maybe you and Lynn had feelings for each other,” Ashley commented, interrupting hi
s thoughts.
Russ’s head whipped around, and his eyes connected with hers. “What?” He couldn’t possibly have heard right. What would make Ashley think that? he wondered.
“Oh, come on, Russ,” she told him, a teasing smile on her lips. “You and Lynn have had more confrontations than a bull and a matador. I just couldn’t help suspecting that there was something brewing between you two.”
The muscle in his jaw worked back and forth. He couldn’t really deny what Ashley was implying without giving away his and Lynn’s secret that last night was the first time they’d ever been together. And he hated not being totally truthful. Damn Lynn for getting him into this mess! And where the hell was she anyway?
Gritting his teeth, he glanced toward the doorway leading to the hall and bedrooms. “Is she around?” he asked, sounding impatient even though he was trying his best to act as if his whole life hadn’t been turned upside down.
“I think she’s dressing. She should be done any minute.”
Ashley sat on the sofa, then motioned for Russ to take a seat. He politely declined, preferring to stand. He couldn’t sit still. He felt jumpy inside, as if all his emotions were bouncing around like heated molecules. He couldn’t get a grip on relaxing because all he could think about was Lynn and how she made him feel.
“You know, this really is exciting,” Ashley went on. “Ryder and I had an impromptu wedding, as did Catherine and Jake. It’ll be fun to plan a really big wedding for a change.” Russ frowned, and she chuckled. “It won’t be too bad, I promise.” Hearing footsteps, she turned her head toward the door.
Lynn walked into the room, then stopped suddenly when she saw Russ. He took one look at her and felt as if he’d received a hard punch to his gut. Gone was the beautiful, sexy woman he’d spent the night loving. In her place he saw the young woman he’d watched grow and change over the time he’d been working at the Bar M.
She had on worn, snug-fitting blue jeans, along with a blue-flowered tank top that hugged her breasts. His gaze strayed to them and stayed there a moment too long, long enough for him to remember what it felt like to lick them with his tongue, suck her nipples into his mouth. Feeling his body grow hard with desire, he stepped behind the sofa. Jerking his gaze back to hers, he swallowed hard and wondered where in the world his good sense had disappeared to.
He shouldn’t be thinking about Lynn like that, but he just couldn’t help it. One night with her had given him an idea of what it would be like to make love to her for the rest of his life.
Don’t go there. Don’t torture yourself.
He wasn’t the right man for Lynn, and he damn well knew it. Just because their sexual chemistry was right, didn’t mean they were right for each other in all the other ways where it counted.
Besides, he’d never be able to give her his heart. Lynn deserved a hell of a lot more from the man she’d spend the rest of her life with.
What he should be thinking about was the problem at hand. He’d go along with her on the engagement for a while, until he could marry her like he’d promised. But he’d damn sure keep his hands off of her from now on.
“Oh, hey, Lynn,” Ashley said, greeting her sister-in-law. “I was just telling Russ how much fun it’ll be to plan a real wedding. By the way, have you two decided on a date?”
“A date?” Lynn repeated, sounding confused.
“Yes, silly girl, a date!” When Lynn still didn’t respond, Ashley added in a prompting tone, “for the wedding.”
Panic-stricken, Russ unconsciously clutched the baby in his arms a little tighter. His gaze confronted Lynn’s across the room. He could see that she was thinking of something to say, but he wasn’t sure what would come out of her mouth.
“We haven’t decided on a date yet,” he stated quickly, trying to think of something that would throw Ashley off track. “We didn’t want to horn in on Catherine and Jake’s impending nuptials. But now that they’re married and the cat’s out of the bag, so to speak, we’re on our way to San Luis to pick out a ring.”
Surprise registered on Lynn’s face a split second before she concealed it and shot him a warning look. Despite her attempt to smile, her lips thinned. Well, that was just tough. She was the one responsible for this whole fiasco, not him.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked, moving toward her with Melissa in his arms. Stopping close to her, he put his arm around her shoulders while he held the baby against his chest.
“A…ring?” she asked, and her voice cracked.
“Sure, honey. Remember we talked about it this morning?” Russ said smoothly, trying his best to appear normal and encouraging her to also. She seemed small and fragile standing next to him, and he felt her whole body tremble.
Lynn forced a smile to her lips. Though she was so angry it was a miracle smoke wasn’t coming out of her ears, she tried her best to appear happy. “Oh, um, yes.”
Russ looked at Ashley. “Where should I deposit this little one?” he asked, nodding at Melissa. Ashley leaned over and put Michelle on the floor, then told Russ to do the same with Melissa. He stepped away from Lynn long enough to put the baby down, then straightened and reached for Lynn’s hand. Grasping it firmly, he tugged her toward the door.
“We’ll see you later, Ashley,” he called over his shoulder.
Lynn tried to pull her hand away, and Russ shot her a hard glare. She relented, not wanting to make a scene in front of her sister-in-law. She quickly said goodbye and let Russ lead her out the door. But she had no intention of going anywhere with him, and that especially included picking out an engagement ring!
Once they were outside and alone, Russ practically dragged her down the steps. “Will you come on?” he bit out, turning around and facing her.
“Let me go!” Lynn rasped, fuming.
Russ stopped, but firmly held on to her hand. “No. I’m not going to stand here and make a scene in front of Ashley or anyone else within hearing distance. You’ve caused enough havoc in my life right now without adding more!”
“Me?” Lynn shot back, her lips twisting with anger. “You’re the one who just told Ashley that we’re going to get a ring.”
“Well, what else could I say?” he retorted. He started walking, heading across the yard to his truck, pulling her along with him. “You were the one who told your brother we’re getting married. Besides, what if you’re pregnant?” They rounded the back of the building where he lived, and he stopped beside his black pickup.
“Shhh!” Lynn grated in a hushed tone. “Lower your voice!” She glanced around and was relieved that no one was near enough to have overheard him. “Do you want everyone to know that’s a possibility?”
Russ flashed her a regretful frown. “Sorry. I’m just trying to do the right thing here. You told Ryder we’re getting married. He and Ashley think we’re engaged. Before long, other people will, too. So we’re going to get a ring. Otherwise, everyone will wonder why you aren’t wearing one,” he reasoned.
Lynn felt panic rise inside her. She hadn’t thought of that. This whole thing was getting way out of hand. She’d only been trying to save Russ’s job, and now they were in a huge mess that was getting deeper and deeper. He opened the door for her and indicated for her to get in. Feeling as though she was losing control of her life, Lynn hesitated.
“Look, like I said, you created this farce. Now we’re both gonna have to live with it until, as you said, we figure a way out of it.” And to Russ, that meant he was going to marry her. He’d promised. He wasn’t going back on his word. “Now, get in the truck.”
Lynn glared at him with fire in her eyes. She started to get in, then stopped and turned, and her hot gaze confronted his. “Listen, and listen good. You and everyone else had better understand something. Don’t take this personally, but I have plans to live my life my own way—and they don’t include a husband. Not now or anytime in the near future!”
Four
As Russ went around the pickup and got in behind the wheel, Lynn made work of bu
ckling her seat belt. Heat had built up inside the cab, and the air was stifling, already causing her blouse to stick to her skin. She fanned herself with her hand as he fastened himself in. With jerky movements, he started the engine, then switched on the air-conditioning. Shifting the truck into gear, he pulled away from the ranch.
As he concentrated on driving, Lynn looked over at him. His worn jeans gloved his body, and she thought his shirt matched his dark mood. A week ago—even the day before yesterday—she might not have admitted it, but he was one handsome man. His presence beside her was staggering, heightening all her senses, putting all her nerves on extreme alert. It was as if she’d just had her eyes opened for the first time and realized how incredibly sexy and masculine he was. Now she was afraid that she’d never be able to forget.
Glancing out the window, she tried to focus on her surroundings, but was unable to stop thinking about how being intimate with Russ had affected her. She just hadn’t expected him to be the first person she’d see after she’d showered and changed. After leaving his quarters, she’d felt a sense of relief. She’d dreaded facing him again, though she’d known she would have to and it would be awkward.
All right, if she was honest with herself, she’d also been anxious and a little bit excited. Her gaze strayed to him again, taking in his long, tanned arms sprinkled with a dusting of dark hair, then lingered on his strong hands gripping the steering wheel. His white knuckles indicated that he wasn’t feeling at ease either.
She knew how he felt. Her mind and body seemed in turmoil. Though she knew better than to let herself become further involved with Russ, she couldn’t help remembering how wonderful it felt to be loved by him. She couldn’t forget his kisses or the way he made her feel when he touched her.
Bringing her thoughts back to the present, she twisted her hands in her lap. She hadn’t meant to get them in such a bind, but he hadn’t really helped by stating they were going to get a ring. Frustrated, she sighed heavily as she turned her head away and glanced out the window. They passed one of the fenced pastures where a group of horses were grazing. There was so much work to do. It seemed a shame to waste the day riding into San Luis to get a ring that she didn’t want, wasn’t going to wear and was going to return.
One Wedding Night... Page 4
