“This is really a waste of time,” she stated, giving him a defiant look.
Russ grimaced, holding himself in check. “I said we’re going to get a ring, and that’s what we’re gonna do.”
“Because you say so?” she challenged.
He gave her a direct look. “No,” he said very carefully, “because you blurted out that we’re getting married.”
“There’s no need for you to spend money on a ring,” she insisted. “It’s a pretend engagement.”
Russ swallowed hard. Lynn was testing his patience, which was wearing very thin at the moment. “Then think of it as a pretend ring,” he told her, his tone flat and uncompromising.
“Look,” she argued, turning in her seat to face him, “don’t you see that a ring is going to just add credence to this whole situation? It’s going to make it seem, I don’t know, more official.” He didn’t seem to be listening to her, and she had a feeling that her reasoning was falling on deaf ears. She was quickly learning that Russ Logan had a mind of his own. Well, he was going to have to learn that she wasn’t going to jump at his every command.
“That’s the point of getting it. I’ve already told you how it’s going to look if I don’t put a ring on your finger.” Silence fell between them. Russ wasn’t about to defend his actions again. She wasn’t ready to face the fact that they were going to have to pay for their night of passion. He could understand her hesitation about marrying him since she’d just told him in no uncertain terms that she had no plans to take a husband.
Well, he hadn’t planned on getting married again either. Because his first marriage had turned out badly, he figured he just didn’t have what it took to make a permanent relationship work.
That was before last night, before he’d made love to Lynn, before he’d taken her virginity. He stole a glance at her, and a part of him wished things were different, that he had something to offer her. She was leaning against the door of the truck, her legs crossed, her lips in a full pout. His gaze dropped to her breasts, and he wanted like hell to touch her there. His body responded quickly to his thoughts, and he turned his attention back to the road.
He was going to have to get his libido under control. He couldn’t go around lusting after Lynn until this whole farce was over. The problem was it was going to be a strain trying to distance himself physically. Just being with her reminded him of what it had been like to hold her in his arms, to kiss her beautiful, tempting lips.
“What about yourself? This has all been about me and my reputation, which you and Ryder are more worried about than I am.”
“What do you mean?”
Unable to suppress her curiosity, she asked, “Aren’t there women, I mean, isn’t there a woman in your life that’s gonna be disappointed that she’s not the one you’re going to marry?” She’d been wanting to ask, but the opportunity hadn’t presented itself.
“No.”
His abrupt answer caused her to raise her eyebrows. “No? Really?”
He flashed her a tolerant look. “No one you need to concern yourself about.”
What did that mean? Lynn wondered. That he had women whom he saw on occasion, but no one special? Or that his female companionship wasn’t up for discussion?
“What about you?”
“I’m not seeing anyone. I told you, I don’t want any commitments right now.”
He seemed to mull that over, and they fell silent for a while as they headed away from the small town of Crockett and toward Ozona on Interstate 10. Russ gunned the engine to pick up speed.
“What kind of plans?”
Startled from the sudden sound of his voice, she jumped, then she looked at him. He glanced briefly at her, then just as quickly away.
“What?”
“You said you had plans and that you don’t want any commitments. What kind of plans?”
His tone was gruff, as if idle conversation didn’t come easily to him. Though not really talkative, it seemed he got along well with everyone at the Bar M, except her. They’d never had a real conversation that she could remember that hadn’t ended up in some kind of disagreement. Surprised by his interest, wondering if it was genuine, she flushed a little.
“Oh, um, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do. I love working with horses so I’m going to start my own horse ranch.” Why had she even told him? She hadn’t shared her plans with her brothers yet for fear that they wouldn’t take her seriously. At least Jake and Ryder wouldn’t. After arriving at the house this morning, she’d learned that Deke had left as soon as dawn broke to go back on the rodeo circuit. Lynn didn’t think he was too concerned about anything except competing.
“You want to start a horse ranch?” Even though he made an effort at it, Russ couldn’t conceal his skepticism. Starting a ranch of any kind was long, hard, backbreaking work. He doubted Lynn had any idea of how difficult it was to begin such a venture, let alone be a success at it.
Lynn crossed her arms over her chest. “Yes,” she replied tersely, giving him an annoyed look. “Despite what you think of me, I’m very good with horses.”
Russ flinched. He guessed he deserved that. He had given her a rough time since they’d started working together. But that wasn’t his fault. It was Jake’s. He’d told Russ to work Lynn hard, to give her menial tasks. Her brother wanted her to give up the idea of training horses and quit. Jake still wanted Lynn to go to college.
Russ figured that was because Jake hadn’t had an opportunity to finish school. When his parents had been killed in a plane crash, he’d had to leave school, come back home and raise his younger siblings. He’d mentioned to Russ that he wanted at least one of his siblings to get a college degree. Ryder hadn’t gone, and Deke was more interested in competing in the rodeo. Considering what Lynn had just divulged, she didn’t plan on listening to her brother about continuing her education, either.
“I wasn’t implying that you weren’t,” Russ said, and swallowed hard.
“It sure sounded like it.”
“I’ll admit you’ve learned a lot. You have a natural instinct with horses, that’s for sure,” he offered. He didn’t want to encourage her, but he wasn’t going to lie to her either. Working with her had taught him a thing or two about her. She was smart and had an intuitive talent with horses. Anyone with a lick of sense could see that much about her if they watched her train.
He’d even pointed it out to Jake a time or two. And she didn’t give up. No matter what Russ had given her to do, she’d done it. Sometimes with a lot of sass, he thought, stifling a smile, but she’d stuck it out.
Lynn sat up straighter and turned in her seat toward him. “Careful with those compliments. I might faint.” His dark look almost made her smile. “Jake is having a hard time letting go. He still wants me to go to college, and I’m tired of fighting with him.”
“He only wants what’s best for you,” Russ told her patiently.
“I know, but I’m hoping now that he’s married and has a child of his own, he’ll get off my case.” The more Lynn thought about them, the more sure she was of her plans. Jake would be busy with his own family now. He wouldn’t have as much time to worry about her.
Matthew, Jake’s son, had shown up at the ranch without warning, claiming that Jake was his father. Catherine, Matt’s mother and Jake’s college sweetheart, had come to the ranch to get him, and she and Jake had ended up falling in love again. Lynn was happy they’d found each other again after all the years that had passed. She was equally glad that Matt was Jake’s natural son. Her brother had been in an accident shortly after he’d returned to the ranch after their parents’ death, and he’d learned he’d never be able to father a child. Now he had a family, and he’d never seemed happier.
“He’ll have his hands full, that’s for sure,” Russ agreed. “It’s a good thing Ryder had started the addition to the house. Although it’s already big, it’s hard for two families to share the same space.”
“That’s another reason I w
ant my own place,” Lynn confided. “It’s not that I don’t love my family, because I do. They mean a lot to me. And I adore Ryder and Ashley’s twins, but Michelle and Melissa will be walking soon, so when Ryder and his family move into the new wing when it’s finished, I think it’ll be nice for Jake, Catherine and Matt to have the rest of the house.”
“Wanting your own ranch is one thing, Lynn, making a go of it is another,” Russ warned. “Do you have any idea of how hard it’ll be to start a ranch? It’s tough enough for a man.”
Lynn glared at him. “Meaning?”
Russ took the main exit off the interstate leading to San Luis. “Meaning it’ll be twice as hard for a woman to start a ranch and make it a success. Just ask Mary Beth Adams,” he told her, thinking of the McCalls’ neighbor. She’d recently lost her father, and she was trying to keep their ranch going on her own. “Jake sends one or two of the hands over to her place to help her out all the time.”
“She’s just having a rough time,” Lynn reasoned. “Once she gets straightened out, she can hire a couple of hands.” His reminder of Mary Beth’s struggles struck home. Lynn was sure that once she announced her plans, Jake would certainly use Mary Beth’s struggles as an argument against her idea to start her own ranch. She’d have to be careful and prepare herself for his arguments.
“What other plans have you made?” he asked. It surprised him to learn that they actually had something in common. The spread he’d purchased was small in comparison to the land the McCalls owned, but it was enough for him. All he needed was a little more money for livestock. And he needed his job at the Bar M to earn that. Then he could get his own place off the ground.
“Well, first, I figured we’ve got plenty of land, so I could just pick out a few acres and stake my claim to them. And I’m planning to go and see Linwood Finney at the bank with a financial plan. He’s known my family for ages, and he knows I’d be good for the loan. I’ve already sketched out some basic building plans. I want to start small and grow slowly. I could continue living at the Bar M while I get the ranch off the ground, then move once I have a small house built.”
She continued describing her plans, her face animated and full of excitement as she shared her thoughts, her dreams. Russ was impressed. He admired her tenacity and spunk. She’d thought it all out, had a financial plan and the drive to make it happen. He didn’t think her brothers were going to like it one bit, but he didn’t voice his thoughts. No need to shoot holes in her plans. There were still a few obstacles in her way, their engagement and impending marriage being the biggest ones.
Russ chewed a bit on the inside of his mouth as he slowed the truck down and pulled into the parking lot of the mall at San Luis. Essentially, what Lynn had said was true. She had plans, and they didn’t include a husband. Whether he was right for her or not, it was clear she wasn’t interested in him. That’s why she was so intent on a pretend engagement, he thought, his mood darkening. She was determined to follow her own agenda. Though he knew there could never be anything serious between them, her rejection deepened the hole in his heart, stung in a way that his mother’s and Candace’s hadn’t.
He figured Jake was going to somehow figure this was partly Russ’s fault. He was supposed to work with her on training the horses, bringing her along slowly. He’d tried, but Lynn had picked up on every tiny detail while they worked together. She was smart and thorough. Hell, for all he knew, she probably could make a go of running her own place.
If Jake gave her the chance.
Turning his thoughts to the matter at hand, he pulled the truck to a stop in a parking spot. “We’re here,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“Russ—”
“Don’t even start,” he warned her, getting out of the truck. He walked around to open her door, but she was already climbing out. She slammed the door and came toward him.
“I’m sorry,” Lynn said. “I know you mean well, but I just can’t go through with this!” she insisted. His sense of honor was amazing, his tenacity more on the order of irritating.
Russ took her hand and held it tightly. “You can, and you will. Come on.” He tugged her into the mall and down one of the wide hallways, passing by clothing stores, a toy store and a specialty chocolate shop. “There’s got to be a jewelry store in here somewhere.” He wanted his ring on Lynn’s finger before Jake and Catherine returned. Facing one of her brothers without his intentions known had been hard enough.
“I’ve been here lots of times,” Lynn insisted, “and I don’t remember one.” She finished speaking just as they were turning a corner. Russ stopped in his tracks, and she bumped right into him. He turned, and as she stepped back, gave her a hard stare.
“Oh? So, what’s this?” he asked, his tone sarcastic. They were standing in front of a small, but well-known jewelry store. “A figment of my imagination?”
Lynn tugged on her hand. “I’m not going in there with you!” Even as she said the words, he let go of her hand, slid his arm behind her back and propelled her forward. The touch of his hand against her sent a rush of awareness throughout her entire body, zapping her resistance. Grimacing, she told herself she had to work on her self-control. She just couldn’t turn to jelly every time he touched her.
A well-dressed woman approached them as soon as they entered. “May I help you?” she asked, a polite and welcoming smile on her lips.
Russ nodded. “Yes, ma’am. We’re here to pick out an engagement ring.” Somehow Lynn had managed to disengage herself from him, and he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to him, this time holding her a little closer to keep her next to him. “This is my fiancée,” he said.
The woman’s smile turned brighter. “Oh, wonderful! Do you have any idea of the kind of ring you’re interested in? We have some beautiful diamonds, and of course, other precious stones if you’re looking for something unique.” She urged them to follow her, then she stepped behind a counter and faced them. Using a key to open it, she withdrew part of the display and placed it on the counter. An array of sparkling diamonds glistened against dark, midnight blue velvet.
Russ looked at Lynn. “Which one do you like?”
Aghast at the selection, she shook her head. “I can’t pick out one of these,” she whispered, not even daring to look at the sales associate.
“Yes, you can,” Russ replied, placing his hand on his hip. Because he wasn’t sure of her taste in diamonds, he didn’t know which one appealed to her. It would be best if she picked out her own. “Go ahead and choose,” he encouraged.
“No.” Lynn drew in a deep breath, then with forced courage, she looked at him again. “This isn’t right,” she insisted in a whisper, hoping the woman assisting them hadn’t heard her. Blood rushed through her veins, and the pressure inside her ears increased, blocking out everything around her. An engagement ring signified love and devotion, a promise of forever. Although like many other women she hoped that someday she’d wear the ring of a man who truly loved her, she didn’t feel right taking a ring from Russ.
He didn’t love her.
And she wasn’t in love with him. Not at all, she told herself. Her silent denial of her feelings for him contradicted the sudden pounding of her heart. He took her hand and lifted it, and Lynn tried to pull it back.
“Russ,” she pleaded. But she could see in his eyes that his mind was made up.
“It’s okay, honey,” he told her, drawing her closer. “I’ll help. I like this one.” He pointed to a princess-cut stone set in gold, graced with smaller triangular diamonds at its sides.
Lynn lost her breath. “That’s much too big,” she replied quickly. And would cost a fortune—money she was sure Russ didn’t have or surely didn’t want to spend on her. She stared at the choices, her heart hammering. She didn’t want to go through with this, but she wasn’t about to embarrass them both in front of the sales associate. “I…uh…they all look so expensive,” she said in a low voice.
With a frustrated sigh, he tried again. “Okay, how
about this one?” he suggested and picked up another ring, this one cut in the shape of an oval.
“Um, no, I don’t think so.”
“Okay, let’s try this from another angle,” Russ suggested, frowning as he picked up a diamond that reminded him of a football. “Try this on,” he ordered. Lynn hesitated, and he drew her hand closer. She smacked his hand away, then put it on herself, fussing under her breath.
“There. Are you satisfied? It’s too big.” She spread her fingers wide so he could see.
“Oh, if you like it, we can have it sized for you,” the sales associate quickly assured her.
Lynn immediately took the ring off and put it back in its place. “No, thank you.” She hesitantly fingered a couple of other rings, smaller stones that didn’t look like they cost more money than a prize race horse. She tried two of them on—one was too small, the other too big.
Russ picked up a round-shaped diamond with a prong setting in a shiny gold band.
“Although we sell many different shapes, that’s the most popular,” the sales associate assured him. “Do you prefer gold or platinum?” she asked Lynn.
Lynn shrugged, hesitant to reveal her thoughts. “I’ve never really thought about it.”
“Well, you should, dear. You’ll be wearing this ring for a long time.”
The woman’s words hit a nerve, and Lynn grimaced. This engagement ring also signified control—something she’d been trying to get away from. She didn’t want to be under Russ’s control anymore than she wanted to be under Jake’s.
“Try it on,” Russ suggested. Before she could stop him, he had her hand in his and was sliding the ring on her finger, slipping it over her knuckle. “It fits,” he commented thoughtfully, then looked at Lynn’s face. Her expression was hesitant and unsure, but her eyes widened, indicating that she liked the ring.
One Wedding Night... Page 5
