RunningScaredBN

by Christy Reece

  With that in mind, Justin soaped up his hands and slid them down Riley’s wet, silky body. She was a joy to touch, firm in most places, exquisitely soft and malleable in others. Within seconds, he heard her moan. He smiled at the delightful sound.

  His hand slid down her legs and then up again. Pausing at the juncture of her thighs, he touched the soft curls between her legs, waited and watched. If she panicked or jerked away, he’d stop. Instead, to his amazement and pleasure, she moved her legs farther apart.

  Wanting to praise her for her bravery but not wanting to break the intimacy they were creating, Justin gently pressed his hand against her sex. The heat he found there almost brought him to his knees. Gritting his teeth, he gently spread the lips of her sex and washed her tenderly. He was pleased to hear her breathing become erratic, and her fingers tightened on his shoulders. He glanced up at her face and smiled. She had the glazed look of need and showed not an ounce of fear.

  Backing away, he handed her the soap and waited to see what she would do. Her hands glided up and down his torso, and Justin groaned.

  Dreamily, Riley decided that he was hard everywhere. Even the places she thought he might be soft felt like steel beneath her fingers. How many nights had she fantasized about Justin, never believing her dreams might come true? From the tips of his very large and narrow feet to the top of his thick head of hair, he personified masculinity in its most basic form. She lingered on the indentations in the hard planes of his stomach, marveling at how wonderful they felt beneath her fingertips.

  Her hands moved up and down, not realizing how much she was turning him on until his voice ground out the words, “Touch me, Riley. Please, baby.”

  “What?”

  “I’m dying for you to touch me. Will you?”

  She knew what he was asking. Taking both her hands, she wrapped them around his hard length and slid them up and down. He hissed out a breath. She glanced up at his face and was glad to see the sound he’d made was from pleasure. She felt an enormous amount of pride in that. She, Riley Ingram, a girl who should be too damaged to even consider an intimate relationship, was gladly giving pleasure to a man. Because he was her man.

  As if realizing they’d both had more than enough stimulation, Justin moved to stand beneath the spray, pulling her with him. Seconds later, he turned the faucet off and opened the door. Before she could even contemplate his movements, he was sliding his arms beneath her and carrying her. Laying her gently on the bed, he whispered, “I couldn’t wait.”

  “Then don’t.” Holding her arms out to him, she said softly, “Make love to me, Justin. Make me feel whole.”

  Following her down on the bed, he started at her mouth, tenderly kissing her, then moved down to her throat, and then her breasts, pausing to suckle each one. Kissing down her torso to her stomach, the juncture of her thighs. Without waiting to see if this was okay, taking it as approval that she didn’t say no, he spread her legs and buried his face between her legs, lapping gently.

  The heat intensified, burning hotter, faster, out of control. Riley arched her body, reaching for something and unsure of what she might find when she got there. Without warning, a wild, intense, outrageous pleasure washed over her. Suspended in ecstasy, she reached for and found the stars. Long moments later, she lay panting on the bed, overwhelmed by the enormity of what she had just experienced. How had she not known?

  Raising his head, his eyes glittering with more emotion than she’d ever seen in him, he growled softly, “You’re perfect in every way.”

  Whispering words she never thought she’d be able to utter to anyone, she said, “Come inside me, Justin.”

  He hovered over her, hesitating.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I didn’t come prepared for this.”

  Thankful that she had an answer, she whispered, “I’m protected.”

  Groaning his approval, he covered her body with his, slid inside her and thrust deep. Riley wrapped her legs around his hips, relishing the closeness, finding joy in his need to reach fulfillment. He plunged in, then out again. Then, with a groan that came from deep in his chest, he let go, releasing inside her.

  Not wanting to crush her, but not willing to let her go either, Justin collapsed onto his back and pulled Riley on top of him. She snuggled into him, resting her head on his chest. No woman had ever felt so right or so good in his arms.

  “I never would have believed anything could feel that good.”

  He heard her shyness and wonder in the soft words.

  “You’ve never dated, been intimate with anyone before this?”

  “I’ve never trusted anyone enough to date. Besides, when we’re on an op, we don’t necessarily come in contact with the best of humanity.”

  “What about when you’re not on an op? Your free time. Do you go out?”

  She propped her forearms against his chest and raised her head to look at him. “If you haven’t figured it out already, I’m not exactly normal, Justin.”

  “What the hell does normal even mean or look like?”

  “Good question.” She huffed out a small laugh and put her head back on his chest. “I don’t really know.”

  “What do you do in your free time? I know you have friends. Anna Bradford’s a friend of yours, isn’t she?”

  “Yes. Samara McCall introduced me to her not long after LCR rescued her. We clicked immediately. We see each other when we can. Since we both travel a lot in our jobs, it’s not as often as we’d like. She stays in touch with me when she’s on the road. She’s better at being a friend than I am.”

  “How so?”

  “Relationships are hard for me. They involve emotions. I kept myself shut down for so long. It’s easier to stay frozen. Hurts less.”

  “It’s a lonely place to be.”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Get some sleep.”

  She yawned and stretched, then settled on him like a small, snuggly blanket. “Hold me?”

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll hold you all night long.”

  He felt her lips on his chest in a small kiss and thought that might be the sweetest touch he’d ever received. A small, uninhibited act of affection from Riley meant more than a grand gesture from anyone else. When Riley gave, she gave freely.

  Justin lay awake awhile longer. He’d been so immersed in Riley and what she did to him both physically and emotionally, he’d had little time to absorb all he had learned about her past. There was still so much he didn’t know. How had she escaped? How had LCR come across her? Why didn’t she know more about this monster named Dimitri?

  His thoughts whirled like tornadoes before they settled on one irrefutable fact. This woman meant more to him than anyone ever had before. Riley believed she should be the one to take Dimitri down. And it was definitely her right. But if she couldn’t do it, then he would do it for her. It was as simple as that.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Darkness surrounded her, its nothingness a comfort. There was safety in the solitude, peace in the oblivion. Silence sheltered her. She held on to the dark abyss of emptiness as long as she could.

  Stay quiet. Stay silent. Stay still. Be good. Shh. Shh. Shh.

  She’d been down this road before. Panic would set in soon. But for right now, she could ignore the fear. She could pretend that her eyes were closed. That she was anywhere else in the world other than where she was. That she had choices. Options. Freedom.

  Shh. Stay quiet. For just a little while longer, don’t think. Just pretend.

  A door opened and closed. Footsteps sounded. Every cell within her froze. She had only been here for a short while. Barely an hour. He wouldn’t be ready to release her yet.

  Shh. Stay quiet. Be good.

  Torn between the dread of what faced her if she was suddenly released and the terror of remaining here for hours, if not days, she waited to hear his plans.

  “Are you uncomfortable?”

  “Yes,
sir,” she whispered.

  “Do you know why you’re being punished?”

  “Yes, sir. I was disrespectful.”

  “And?”

  “I didn’t answer you immediately, sir.”

  “Do I take good care of you?”

  She knew better than to answer with the truth. “Yes, sir.”

  “Do I demand too much from you?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Then why were you disrespectful when I am so good to you and take such good care of you?”

  She shut her eyes tight against the threat of tears. They would only make him happier. He was like a demon who fed off her tears and screams. The more she gave, the more he wanted.

  “I asked you a question, Jessica.”

  She jerked alert. Don’t make him angry! She gave him the answer she knew he wanted. “Because I am a willful, disobedient slut who doesn’t appreciate what she’s been given, sir.”

  “What should I do to you?”

  “You should punish me, sir.”

  “Worse than the punishment you’re receiving now?”

  Since she was currently locked in a four-by-four wooden box with one small air hole, the answer would be obvious to most people. No one deserved this kind of treatment. However, if she answered no, she would still be punished and probably much worse. If she answered yes, that she should receive worse punishment, the chances were fifty-fifty that he would go easier on her. What choice did she have?

  “Yes, sir, worse than the punishment I’m now receiving.”

  “Excellent answer.” She heard his joints pop, telling her he was now standing. “We’re expecting guests this evening. If I punish you the way you deserve, you won’t be able to stand, much less do what I require of you. Therefore, I will table your punishment until the time of my choosing. Who knows? Maybe in a few days I might be more forgiving.”

  She knew better than that. He would wait until he thought she was comfortable again. Until she thought she was safe. Then he would mete out his punishment. But he didn’t know her little secret. She knew she was never safe. Never comfortable.

  “What do you have to say to me?”

  “Thank you, sir. I appreciate your leniency and understanding.”

  “And?”

  “And your love.”

  “Very well. I will be back in a few hours to let you out. In the meantime, dwell on your disobedience and think of ways you can make it up to me. I’ll allow you your chance tonight after our guests leave.”

  No matter what he had planned, hell awaited her. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she could no longer hold them back.

  Shh. Don’t let him hear you cry. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.

  Breaths shuddered from her body, and she shook her head.

  Stop. Stop. Don’t let him hear. Don’t let him see.

  A sob escaped. Evil laughter. He heard her! Lights exploded above her as the lid was lifted.

  She swallowed a scream of anguish.

  Riley jerked awake. Heart pounding, body drenched with sweat, breath gasping from her lungs. It had been so real. Too real.

  Light was filtering into the room, telling her it was just past dawn. The dreams were becoming more realistic. Was that because she was allowing the memories to return after years of blocking them, or was it something more? Did her subconscious, knowing that she would be facing him soon, want to prepare her, perhaps warn her?

  She didn’t know which she feared more.

  Moving her arm slightly, her hand brushed up against a warm, hard body. Terror seized her mind. He was here! Reacting on instinct, she reached for her Glock on the nightstand and sprang to her feet.

  Waking up next to a naked woman had always been a delightful experience for Justin. Waking up and finding one standing above you holding a gun on you diminished the enjoyment considerably.

  Figuring she was still half asleep and not wanting to startle her, he chose to play it light. “Is this the part where I say, ‘Wasn’t it good for you?’”

  He couldn’t see her face, but she went stiff, stopped breathing.

  “Riley, sweetheart,” he said softly, firmly, “it’s me, Justin.”

  She blew out a gasping, “Justin?”

  “Yeah. I—”

  The gun dropped to the floor with a thud and she backed away. “I could have killed you,” she whispered harshly.

  He snorted. “When have you ever taken an unjustified shot?”

  Instead of laughing it off, she ran to the bathroom.

  His head fell back onto his pillow and Justin let out a huge sigh. He had known going in that a relationship with Riley wouldn’t be easy. She had been too badly hurt not to have issues adjusting to a new relationship. Especially an intimate one. Waking up next to a man had to be disconcerting. The possibility of it triggering a memory might always be there. None of that mattered. They could work through each and every one of them.

  He set his feet on the floor and stood. They needed to confront this now, before it got any bigger. Knowing her, she was blowing the event way out of proportion.

  Pulling on his shorts and shirt, he padded barefoot to the bathroom and pushed the door open. Wrapped in a thick white robe, she was sitting on the edge of the tub, her face in her hands.

  “Want some coffee?”

  She raised her head and stared at him as if he were crazy. “I just tried to kill you, and you’re offering me coffee?”

  “Well, technically, it’s your coffee. But I’ll make it.”

  She shook her head. “You need to leave.”

  “No, I don’t. I need coffee. So do you.”

  She stood and headed toward the door. “I’ll make coffee, and then you need to leave.”

  He grabbed her arm as she tried to pass him.

  “Don’t, Kelly. Just don’t.”

  “Not going to happen. Call me Justin. Call me Kelly. Call me asshole. I don’t care. I’m not leaving until we get this settled.”

  “Get what settled? I can’t even sleep beside a man without trying to kill him. What’s to settle?”

  “Hey.” He pulled her against his chest, but she remained stiff and unrelenting. At least she wasn’t pulling away or fighting him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “This was a first for us. It’s not going to be without a few bumps along the way.”

  “Bumps are finding out my coffee tastes like mud or your feet smell like Limburger cheese. It’s not waking up beside a lunatic holding a gun to your head.”

  He shook her shoulders gently. “Some bumps are bigger than others. We’re complex people with dangerous jobs. We’re bound to have big-assed bumps.

  She gave him a strained smile. “You’re right. I’ll go make coffee.”

  He let her go, hoping some of what he’d said stuck with her. Last night had opened a door for both of them. He wasn’t about to let it close again.

  Riley worked on automatic as she made coffee. Justin hadn’t followed her into the kitchen. She wouldn’t blame him if he just left without saying anything else. But she knew he wouldn’t do that.

  Her mind refused to dwell on what had happened or Justin’s reassuring words. There would be plenty of time to think on these things once he left. There were truths she had to face whether she wanted to or not. She had lived in fantasyland once before, and it had almost destroyed her. She refused to believe in fairy tales ever again.

  “Smells good.”

  She pulled two coffee mugs from a cabinet and filled both with the steaming brew. Turning, she handed one to Justin and took a sip of her own.

  Justin took a long swallow. “Doesn’t taste like mud. So does that mean my feet don’t smell like Limburger cheese?”

  She wanted to smile, joke with him. He was trying to alleviate the tension, assure her what had happened wasn’t that big of a deal. He had no idea how wrong he was.

  Since it was what he wanted and it would be easier, she gave him a teasing look. “Maybe not Limburger. Cheddar. Very sharp cheddar.”

  He grinned.
“I like cheddar.”

  “Me, too, but I don’t think I’ll be nibbling on your toes anytime soon.”

  He took her cup from her and set it on the counter along with his. Pulling her into his arms, he gave her a hug. “We’re going to be all right, Ingram. I promise. We’ll get these assholes in jail where they belong, and then we’ll concentrate on us.”

  Unable to get into a long, complicated discussion of why there could be no us, she nodded and said, “Guess I’d better get ready. Noah wanted me to come in this morning to talk about a few things.”

  “You want me to come with you?”

  “No, that’s okay. You need to go home and get ready, too. I’ll see you at the briefing this afternoon.”

  He pulled away to look down at her. She’d been pretending for most of her adult life. Playing a role was what she did best. So she put on her best everything is fine expression and smiled up at him.

  Only, Justin now knew the real Riley Ingram. His eyes dark with concern, he whispered, “I promise you it will all work out, Riley.”

  Instead of giving him more words he probably wouldn’t believe, she pulled his head down to hers and kissed him with all the feeling and fervor in her heart. If this was their last kiss, she wanted the memory to be one she could take out on long, lonely days. He tasted like coffee, toothpaste, and Justin. Perfect in every way.

  Finally, he pulled away from her. “That should last me until tonight.” He dropped another quick kiss on her lips and turned around. “See you soon.”

  She waited until the door closed behind him to say, “No, that’s a kiss that will have to last a lifetime.”

  Even after Dimitri and the people who’d claimed to be her parents were in prison, who she was or what had happened to her wouldn’t change. She was damaged beyond all hope. Justin deserved a whole person, not the small pieces of humanity she’d managed to mend together to create Riley Ingram. And he certainly didn’t deserve the Riley Ingram who’d pointed a gun at his head after he’d shown her such love and tenderness. It was better for both of them if they went ahead and faced that fact.