RunningScaredBN

by Christy Reece

  He had a gnawing feeling in his gut that this was just the beginning of shit not working right.

  The cellphone he’d dropped on the coffee table in front of him buzzed. He glared at the thing. He didn’t want to talk to anyone but was too responsible not to check the display in case he was needed. Swallowing a groan as the movement shifted his leg on the pillow, he grabbed the phone and then sat back. He frowned at the unfamiliar number but answered anyway. “Yeah?”

  “Aidan?”

  He stiffened in denial. The soft, husky, female voice was one he recognized immediately. And the last one he wanted to hear. Dammit, why was she calling?

  “Aidan, are you there?”

  “I’m here. What do you want?” He winced the moment the words were out of his mouth. Why did he have to be such an asshole with her?

  Her response was a small, humorless laugh. “Your phone skills aren’t any better than your people skills.”

  “How can I help you, Anna?”

  Her voice went softer. “I heard about your injury. Are you okay?”

  Hell on wheels. Why’d she have to be so nice? Especially when he was such a jerk to her?

  “I’m fine. Just a minor inconvenience.”

  “That’s good, then.”

  When she didn’t say anything else, he asked, “Was that all you wanted?”

  “What? Um. No. I…uh.”

  “Spit it out, Bradford. You don’t usually have trouble telling me what’s on your mind.”

  “Fine,” she snapped. “I was just trying to be sensitive since I’m sure you’re in pain.”

  “The only pain I’m experiencing is because of this conversation.”

  She went silent again, and he figured she’d just hang up on him. It was nothing less than he deserved.

  Her voice now icy cold, she said, “If I didn’t need your help, I wouldn’t be calling you. Believe me, I know you despise me, so I’ll try to make this quick.”

  Jerking upright, he barked out, “What’s wrong? Are you in trouble?”

  “No, I’m not in any trouble. I…” She took an audible breath and gushed out, “I want to arrange a meeting between Riley and Justin.”

  “What kind of meeting?”

  “They’re both miserable.”

  “You’ve seen Ingram?”

  “Yes. She’s totally devastated.”

  “From my understanding, it was her decision to leave. McCall didn’t fire her.”

  “I’m not just talking about that. I’m talking about her relationship with Justin.”

  Oh hellfire no. He did not get involved in other people’s personal lives. Having done a bang-up job on his own, he sure as shit didn’t interfere with anyone else’s life. Especially a friend’s.

  “Sorry, sugar. You’re barking up the wrong tree. If Ingram and Kelly are having difficulties, they’ll have to work it out themselves.”

  “They can’t. Not while they’re apart. I just want to bring them to the same place and let it go from there. If they decide to leave each other after that, it’s up to them.”

  Aidan was shaking his head. Lord save him from romantic fools. Before he could tell her no again and end this ridiculous discussion, she dropped a bombshell.

  “If you do this for me, Aidan, I promise to leave you alone.”

  “What do you mean you’ll leave me alone?”

  “You’ll never have to see me again. If Noah asks me to work on an LCR case you’re attached to, I’ll make sure to meet with him only when I know you won’t be there. You never have to suffer my presence again.”

  Shit. He really had convinced her he didn’t like her.

  “Listen, Anna. That’s not why—”

  “It doesn’t matter, Aidan. If you’ll just help me with this, I’ll get out of your life for good. Promise.”

  Even though he was sorry he had damaged her feelings, he couldn’t help but ask, “What if I don’t agree to do this? What would you do?”

  “Well, Noah keeps asking me if I’d like to work full time for LCR. He believes I’d make a good operative. Maybe at some point I could work for LCR Elite. We could work together on ops. We’d—”

  “I’ll do it.” The thought of the beautiful, innocent Anna Bradford in the trenches of LCR, exposed to the underbelly of the scum they dealt with on a daily basis was as disgusting a thought as he’d ever had.

  “Thank you.”

  If she wondered about his quick agreement, she didn’t say. He was sure she believed it was because he couldn’t stand to be around her.

  “How do you propose we do this? Justin Kelly isn’t exactly an easy man to fool. And Ingram is no pushover either.”

  “I thought I’d arrange a vacation for Riley. Tell her she needs to get away, get some sun. You could tell Justin the same thing.”

  That sounded about as easy to him as dismantling an M24 sniper rifle with his toes. Justin Kelly would see through the ruse in seconds. But it was workable.

  “Do you have a place in mind?”

  “No, not yet. I wanted to get your agreement first.”

  “Let me get the place. My folks have a house in the Caribbean. No one uses it much anymore.”

  “Oh, that would be wonderful. How do—”

  “I’ll send you the details.”

  “Thank you, Aidan. I’ll just…um—” She stopped abruptly, and the following silence was awkward.

  “I’ll be in touch once I set it up.”

  “Okay.”

  “And Anna?”

  “Yes?”

  Knowing he shouldn’t, but unable to allow her to believe he despised her, he said, “I don’t hate being around you.”

  He heard a hitch of breath and then, “But why—”

  He ended the call before he could say any other stupid, nonsensical, useless words. Having her believe he hated her would have been so much wiser and more convenient. She didn’t need to know that his feelings for her had nothing to do with hate. It was safer for both of them if it stayed that way.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  The Caribbean

  The speedboat puttered to the beach and then bumped gently against the small dock. The boat driver turned around and grinned at her. “We are here.”

  For some reason, Riley wanted to laugh. And how weird was that? Riley Ingram was not the laughing sort. Especially not lately.

  “Thank you, Nico.”

  “Are you sure you do not want me to help you with your luggage?”

  “No. I only have this one bag, and it’s not heavy.”

  “I will be back for you one week from today. If you need anything before then, please do not hesitate to send word through the housekeeper.”

  “I’ll do that.” And even though she had been told not to do so, Riley dug into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out several bills. “Please. Take this. And thank you for your help.”

  His grin almost as bright as the sun, he accepted her gift with a wink. “We will keep this between us. Yes?”

  “Yes, we will.”

  She grabbed her duffle bag and stepped onto the pier. Nico backed the boat away, gave her a final salute, and then sped away. Riley waited until he was several yards away before she turned around and took in her surroundings. What a beautiful, magical-looking place.

  When Anna had told her about the small island with only one house in the middle of the Caribbean, she had thought it sounded like heaven on earth. Since she had left LCR, she had been in limbo. She had visited briefly with Anna and then had traveled to various cities, wondering where she could go and what she could do. She felt so lost and unfocused.

  And in the back of her mind, there was the constant drone of her conscience reminding her how very badly she had treated Justin. Her partner deserved so much better. And Justin Kelly hadn’t just been her partner. He’d also been her friend, her lover. The one man who understood her better than anyone else. She had treated him as if he didn’t matter to her at all.

  She knew he would never forgive
her. She couldn’t blame him. If anyone had done the same to her, treated her so poorly, she was sure she would feel the same way.

  Stepping onto the beach, she took a moment to take everything in. This was no doubt paradise. A half mile of white sandy beach, palm trees swaying gently in the wind. Interspersed between the vivid green of bushes and trees was a profusion of bougainvillea, orchids, and hibiscus blooming with wild abandon. The house was a glorious two-story colonial with a wraparound porch and lots of windows. Oh yes. Lots and lots of windows.

  Something inside her settled, a feeling of rightness she hadn’t experienced since before she had confronted Dimitri. She would stay here and figure out who Riley Ingram was and how she fit in this world. And then she would return home, ask Justin for forgiveness, and see if he still wanted her in his life.

  She just prayed she wouldn’t be too late.

  Justin had seen her get off the boat. He’d been here for a few hours, trying to figure out if this was a good idea or not, and knowing that even if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t leave here without confronting her.

  When Thorne had told him about Anna’s plan, his first reaction had been an absolute no. If Riley didn’t want to see him or be with him, he sure as hell wasn’t going to trick her. Then he’d gotten his head on straight and thought about things. About all that they had shared. All that they’d been through.

  Riley was hurting. He had no doubt about that. And it wasn’t in her nature to hurt anyone she cared about. So with those two things firmly in his mind, he realized he had to see this through. Because if there was one thing he knew for sure, if he could prevent Riley hurting, then he was damn well going to do everything within his power to do just that. Bottom line, he loved her.

  He watched as she came toward the house. She was thinner, and the set of her shoulders told him she had a huge weight of worry holding her down. He hoped she would let him help her deal with whatever was hurting her.

  Turning, he headed to the back of the house. The veranda was in the shade, and he’d already mixed up a pitcher of lemonade. She would eventually come out here to explore, and he would be waiting. If she was angry for being tricked and wanted to leave, well, that would be just too damn bad. The boat wouldn’t return for a week. He would use those days to convince her that she couldn’t live without him. Because he sure as hell didn’t want to live without her.

  The décor was understated elegance, pretty but without a hint of formality or pretension. The colors ranged from pale yellow to bold splashes of reds and blues. It was restful without being boring. Riley felt instantly at home. Deciding to wait until later to unpack, she dropped her bag on the floor and went exploring.

  It was an open floor plan with so much natural light that Riley felt as though she were outside. Everywhere she went, from the modern kitchen to the media room to the three spacious bedrooms, she fell in love with what she saw. How on earth anyone could stand to leave this place was beyond her.

  As she headed back down the stairs, an overwhelming feeling of sadness washed through her. This was a place for a family or a honeymooning couple. A lone woman with more baggage in her head than she’d brought with her on vacation didn’t belong here. Still, she would use this time as promised and try to get her head on straight.

  Wanting to see what she imagined was going to be a spectacular veranda and backyard, Riley pushed the glass door open and stepped out. And there he stood.

  “Hello, Ingram.”

  She had the thought that if he’d called her by her first name, she would have run. Where to, she didn’t know. She couldn’t think beyond the fact that Justin was here, in front of her. All she had to do was reach out, and her fingers would be on him. She could touch him the way she’d dreamed of a thousand times since the last time she saw him.

  “I guess it’s pointless to ask who set this up.”

  She was proud of herself. Her voice didn’t waver or quiver. She was matter-of-fact. Calm. Rational. Odd, but inside she was anything but. Emotions like fireworks were exploding inside her. She wanted to run. To stay. To leap into his arms and beg for his forgiveness. To tell him to leave, that they had nothing to say to each other. That she knew she had screwed up beyond all hope and didn’t deserve an ounce of forgiveness.

  Instead, she stood there. Waiting. Hoping.

  There were a thousand things Justin wanted to say to her. None of them seemed the right thing, though. She wore that wary, closed expression he knew all too well. At one time he’d thought it was because she was emotionless and cold. Then he’d learned it was a shield. A protection. Because beneath that façade were the emotions and feelings of a warm, gentle, compassionate soul. Riley had been so hurt, so damaged, that her only way to survive was to shut herself off from people, feelings. Things that could hurt her.

  “Are you angry?”

  She shook her head. “I should have guessed Anna would do something like this. She’s been urging me to call you. Talk to you.”

  “I wish you had.”

  She shook her head again. “I didn’t know what to say. How to say it.”

  The sadness in her midnight blue eyes tore at him. It lightened his heart a little to see she no longer wore colored lenses. She had no reason to hide herself anymore. But she was still hurting and dammit he wanted to fix it.

  Resisting the urge to go to her, hold her, he turned to the table and chairs behind him. “Let’s sit down. Want some lemonade?”

  She sat down, watched in solemn silence as he poured two glasses of lemonade and handed her one. After taking a long swallow, she placed the glass on the table and looked around. “It’s beautiful here.” She frowned. “Anna told me this island belongs to a friend of hers. She never said who, though.”

  “I think it belongs to someone in Thorne’s family.”

  She nodded, seemingly out of ideas on small talk.

  “Why did you run away?”

  “I thought it was the right thing to do.”

  “Tell me why.”

  Her eyes took on a distant look, and she spoke in a slow, reflective tone. “Do you know why I wanted to work for LCR? For Noah?”

  “To save lives. Rescue victims. Prevent what happened to you from happening to someone else.”

  “Those reasons came later. Once I realized I could make a difference, my goals…” She frowned. “They didn’t change, really. I guess they developed, expanded.”

  “Then why?”

  She faced him then, and he thought it might be the bravest thing he’d ever seen her do. The longing in her eyes sliced into his heart.

  “I wanted to see if I could be worth something. Be someone. I had been Lorraine and Lloyd’s good, obedient daughter. Trained to do as I was told. Never questioning. Never being anyone other than what they wanted to create. Then I became Dimitri’s trained pet. After that?” She lifted her shoulder in a small shrug. “Then I was nothing. Just an empty shell. I didn’t know who or what I was because I had no one to tell me what I should be. I was taking up space without any redeeming attributes.”

  “That may be how you felt, but that’s not who you were. The abuse you suffered—”

  “Yes, I know. I was taught to feel worthless and helpless, to have no mind or will of my own. That was how they controlled me.

  “But don’t you see? Just because I realized that was wrong thinking, that no one should be treated that way, didn’t mean that I was suddenly filled with self-worth, that my life had meaning. I had to prove to myself that I was something besides a victim. That I was actually somebody.

  “Noah didn’t believe I’d make it as an operative. He never said those words, but I knew what he thought. But you know what I absolutely loved?” Her voice thickened. “He gave me a chance. No one had ever expected anything of me before, other than blind obedience. Noah gave me a chance to prove myself. To be something.

  “That, more than anything, made me determined to succeed.”

  “And you succeeded beyond anyone’s expectations.”

>   “Yes, I did. LCR gave me purpose. I finally had a reason to get up in the morning. I was needed. Not only needed, I was damn good at what I did. I made a difference.”

  “So why did you quit?”

  She gave him an are you kidding me? look. “How could I not? I almost got you killed. Almost ruined the entire op. I put myself above others. The victims became secondary to my need for revenge.”

  “No one begrudged you that. I sure as hell didn’t.”

  “You were furious with me. And you had every right to be.”

  “I was furious with the situation, not you. Though, when you kept saying it was your fight, like I wasn’t personally involved, too, that pissed me off. Believe me, it was very personal to me. I wanted to rip Dimitri’s head off for what he did to you. I understood why you felt you had to do it.”

  “It was wrong of me.”

  “It was human.”

  “But I—

  “What do you want me to say? That it was a bone-headed thing to do? Okay, yeah. It was. And you know what? If I were in the same position, I probably would’ve done the same thing.”

  “No, you wouldn’t. You’re too noble. Too—”

  Justin gave a disgusted snort. “Bullshit, Ingram. Where’d you get the idea that I’m anything but human just like you? I’m fallible. Imperfect.”

  She gave a little smile. “I never said you were perfect.”

  “Good. Perfect is not only boring, it’s impossible. Besides, that’s the thing about families, Ingram. You don’t have to be perfect. They love you just the way you are.”

  A glowing warmth suffused her entire body. LCR was her family. And she had left them as if they didn’t matter, when the truth was, they meant the world to her.

  Swallowing hard, she looked away from him again, chewed on her lip. “So where do we go from here? You and I?”