Inseparable

by Missy Johnson

  “It’s better than it was. The heels might have been a bit much, though,” I said, smiling. Dane laughed, sitting next to me on the sofa. I jumped in surprise as he reached down and yanked my leg onto his lap, his quick movement sending the edges of my dress upward. I tugged them down, pretending I hadn’t just exposed myself as he pretended not to notice.

  “Thought this might help,” He murmured, gently rubbing my foot in such a way that had me close to groaning in pleasure. His hands were magic, with just the right amount of pressure to ease the pain and discomfort my heels hand caused. I groaned, biting my lip, unable to stop the smile from spreading across my lips, as I imagined how well his hands would work on other parts of my body. I opened my eyes to find Dane staring at me.

  “What?” I asked, embarrassed of the effect his massage had had on me.

  “Nothing,” He murmured, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He continued to stare at me as he massaged all the stress out of my foot, “You seem to be enjoying this, that’s all.”

  “I am,” I replied honestly, “You have magical fingers,” My hand shot to my mouth as soon as I said it. He chuckled as I flushed with embarrassment.

  “You know what I mean,” I said, covering my face with my hands. He laughed again, gently setting my foot on the floor.

  “I better finish dinner. Can I get you a drink?” He asked. I nodded. He carried over a can of coke and set it in front of me, along with a glass full of ice.

  “So, nice place,” I commented, popping the top on the can and filling the glass. Nice place? Maybe I should’ve practiced the small talk some more in front of the mirror. Don’t you dare start going on about the weather, Lily.

  “It is. Really nice. Almost too big for one person though,” He glanced around. That was a nice way of dropping into the conversation he lived alone, not that it surprised me. According to Kella after he dropped out, he also dropped out of his crowd of friends. I so desperately wanted to know what that was all about, but I was afraid to ask. I was afraid pressuring him would push him away. Right now I wanted to do all I could to push him toward me.

  “You’ve never considered a roommate?” I asked innocently. Yes, so I was still fishing, not that I actually expected him to reveal anything. He seemed hell bent on keeping his activity last year far from our conversation topics.

  “I like my space,” He answered, heading back into the kitchen, “I like not having to worry about anyone else, you know?” I did, I knew exactly what he meant. As much as I lived living with Kella, there were times when you just wanted to be selfish and not have to consider the other person’s feelings.

  “Sometimes I feel like that,” I admitted, carrying my coke into the kitchen to watch him cook. “Other times, I love the company. I guess part of that comes from growing up, always around Abby.” He lifted the lid on the pan on the stove, the smell of creamy chicken making my stomach growl. He hid a smile, turning back to the oven to get the potatoes.

  “Hungry?” He asked, piling the potatoes onto a serving dish. I nodded, trying to cover up another stomach growl.

  “You couldn’t tell?” I asked dryly, holding my hands out for the potatoes. He handed them to me, his fingers brushing mine, purposely, from the way his eyes locked with mine. I carried them and my drink to the set table, Dane following me with the chicken and vegetables.

  “This looks amazing, Dane. I’m impressed,” And it did, I couldn’t wait to dig in. He motioned for me to start, as he went back to the counter for the pitcher of water. Piling my plate high with food, I was far from shy when it came to my appetite. Dane grinned, watching me as I took my first mouthful. God it was delicious. Perfectly cooked chicken breast, and the roast potatoes were crispy on the outside, while soft and fluffy inside. Exactly as they should be.

  “Freaking delicious. You can cook for me anytime,” I said, covering my mouth with my hand, so as not to show him an eyeful of half eaten food. He laughed, serving himself.

  “I might just do that, sexy,” He said chuckling. Sexy? I liked that.

  After dinner and dessert, which was a heavenly chocolate pecan pie, we loaded the dishwasher (which I insisted on helping him with), and then sat down on the sofa together. We spent the next few hours getting to know each other better, learning everything from embarrassing childhood moments, to our dreams, and where we wanted our futures to head.

  “I haven’t even asked you what you’re studying,” I said, embarrassed. Was I that self-absorbed? That should’ve been one of the first things to come up in our conversations, considering we shared a few of the same classes.

  “Social work. I’ve wanted to be a youth worker since I was young. My family used to foster kids in trouble,” He explained. How was there so much about this boy I didn’t know, and could he honestly get any more perfect? “After Steffy was gone, helping other kids kind of became mom’s life work.”

  “Wow, that’s really admirable, especially after losing a child. Most people couldn’t cope with the stress of looking after troubled kids even without the added stress of that kind of tragedy.” Myself, I didn’t think I could have. Even though I was studying psychology, with my dream being to help children who have lost a sibling, I still felt my dreams nowhere neared the magnitude of his family’s achievements. Glancing at my watch, I was surprised to see it was nearly one in the morning. I began gathering my things.

  “More than anything, I think it just took the focus off Steffy for mom.” Dane spoke quietly as he walked me to the door. His sister’s death was still something that was hard for him to open up about. I was hesitant to open up that wound, especially being something that hit so close to home for myself.

  "Thanks for coming over, Lily. I've had a great night." He said, his eyes locked on mine. I smiled at him, hoping he would kiss me.

  Leaning against the wall near the front door, Dane embraced me, his lips connecting with mine, arousing deep sexual and sensual feelings inside of me. I felt his breath on my neck as he worked his soft kisses down to my collar bone, across to where the fabric of my dress parted, showing my breasts. I locked my fists in his hair, bringing his face back up to mine, locking my lips on his in a passionate kiss.

  His hand ran up my bare leg, lifting my thigh up onto his hip. I gasped as I felt his erection push flush up against my entrance, separated only by his pants and the thin fabric of my panties. His finger toyed with the lace edging, teasing me with his touch, his fingers threatening to dip inside me.

  “I better go,” I whispered with all my resolve, when all I really wanted to do was spend the next six hours letting him explore my body. However, I also knew that if I didn’t take things slow, I would regret it. What I was feeling for Dane ran so much deeper than physical lust; the last thing I wanted was to rush into a sexual relationship too early.

  “If you have to,” He mumbled, his hands caressing my face, with no intention of letting go. I kissed him again, and smiled. He wasn’t making this easy.

  “I do have to,” I replied, raising an eyebrow, “I had a great time tonight,” I added, meeting his gaze, my eyes reflecting the happiness in his. Kissing him again, I pulled away, knowing if I didn’t leave right this moment, I wouldn’t be able to leave at all.

  “Night Lily,” Dane whispered, eyes on me as I walked to the car. The door closed once I was safely inside.

  Pulling into the driveway at home, I eyed the black Audi that was parked outside. Why did I get the feeling I was about to walk in on something I didn’t want to? As I eased the key into the lock of the apartment, I purposely made as much noise as I could. I sighed with relief when I stepped into the empty living room, silently thanking Kella for taking her sex party into the bedroom.

  My evening with Dane had been perfect. He was an amazing guy who I felt lucky to be able to get to know. Grabbing myself a juice from the fridge, I headed towards my room. Halfway there, I encountered a naked Fraser, full frontal in all his glory. Was it wrong that my first thought was that I could see why Kella was so attracted t
o him? He was very well equipped.

  “Oh good god!” I exclaimed, covering my eyes when I realized I’d been staring for a good ten seconds, “Hi Fraser,” I mumbled, my face red.

  “Hey Lily! How are you? It’s really good to meet you again,” His voice was warm and friendly, but was this really the time for small talk? He seemed to have no comprehension, or care, that he was standing in front of me, naked.

  “Uh, maybe we could continue this over breakfast when you’re, uh, dressed?” I said meekly, resisting the urge to peek through my fingers. I’d never seen one that big before.

  “Right,” He said sheepishly, finally covering himself with both hands. Yes, one hand would have covered nothing, “Good point.”

  I stumbled the rest of the way down the hall to my room, closing the door behind me. I could faintly hear Kella’s laughter. Of course he told her. I fished out my phone from my pocket. To my surprise, I had a message.

  Thanks for a wonderful night, sexy. I’m looking forward to our next. Dane.

  My heart swelled as I read the words over and over, each time letting my mind work more meaning into them. I unzipped my dress, carefully stepping out of it so as not to damage the material. Once I was changed into my pajamas, I climbed into bed. I couldn’t wait to talk to Abby about how hard I was falling for this boy.

  “Aww, my little sis is in love,” Abby clucked, smiling. I rolled my eyes at her. This was not a new argument. She’d always loved rubbing in the fact that she was technically born the day before me. She was born at 23:58 on the 21st of May, and I was born at 00:01 on the 22nd. That made us one of only a few sets of identical twins born on separate days ever.

  “You were born three minutes before me,” I retorted.

  “No, I was born the day before you, which makes me older, does it not?” She raised an eyebrow. I laughed. She’d always tried to act like a big sister to me, which annoyed the hell out of me growing up. Now after everything, I was happy to let her have this.

  “Sure, big sis, whatever,” I rolled my eyes again. “He is so nice, Abs,” I gushed, “As in possibly one of the nicest people I’ve met.”

  “He broke your foot,” Abby reminded, giggling.

  “That was more my fault than his,” I argued, shaking my head. Thinking about that still made me cringe.

  “I know, I’m teasing. I’m glad you’re happy, Lil. That’s all I ever want for you,” She smiled wistfully, lowering her eyes. Was she like me, thinking about all the things I was going to get to do that she never got to?

  “I love you, Lil. And I know you love me. I never, not even for a moment wondered why it wasn’t you. Never,” Abby smiled at me, a single tear trickling down her cheek.

  I woke up, crying softly. Dreaming about Abby never scared me, but often it upset me. Seeing her only confirmed how much I missed her. No matter how happy I was, or how much I achieved, there would always be a part of me missing, a part I would never get back.

  Chapter Ten

  Rolling over, I glanced at the alarm clock. It was just after seven. Who the hell woke at seven on a Saturday morning, one of the few days they could actually sleep in? Apparently I did. I could either spend the next few hours tossing and turning, or I could get up.

  I decided to get up.

  Throwing on my robe, I headed toward the living room armed with my laptop. Even if it was crazy early, I was so happy it was the weekend. The closest I’d come to speaking to Dane since our date last Sunday was the occasional smile from across the room in sociology, or looking up and seeing his eyes fixated on me in the cafeteria. I felt strange about approaching him on campus, though I’m not sure why. He liked to keep a low profile, so I guess I didn’t want to spark rumors. If he wanted to make the first move, then I was fine with that.

  I contemplated doing some of my assignments, but in the end fatigue stopped me. I was in one of those moods where I couldn’t sleep, but was way too tired to do anything constructive. Opening my laptop, I glanced over Facebook, and my email. Not surprisingly, nothing really of interest was happening in my world. Clicking on friends, I clicked to message Anna. My decision to make more of an effort with our relationship had gone nowhere since last week, so this was as good a time as any to start.

  Hey Anna,

  How are things going with you? Mom said you made the basketball team, that’s fantastic! Let me know if you ever play down this way. How is school and everything else going? Got a boyfriend yet? ;)

  Call me anytime you want to talk.

  Love Lil xxx

  Immediately I felt better, getting that out of the way lifted some of the anxiety off my shoulders. Opening up Google, I put in the words Hansen, Golden Lake and abduction. My screen filled with links to the murder of Steffy Hansen. I clicked on Crimenet.

  Everything I could have possibly wanted to know (and not wanted to know) about Dane’s sister’s disappearance was right there in front of me. Guilt swept through me as I thought about Dane, and how he’d feel about was I was doing. It was almost like going behind his back by not asking him directly. How was I supposed to bring something like that up, though? And for all I knew, he’d Googled Abby and me, not that he’d find anything. A teenager’s death from cancer was not news. The abduction of a six year old was.

  Earl Phillip Ederson had confessed to the abduction, rape and murder of Steffy Hansen in 2004, almost a year after her disappearance. She had been abducted from out the front of her home while her parents were out. She had been left in the care of her twelve year old brother, who had been inside at the time, playing video games with a friend.

  I clasped my hand over my mouth. How awful for Dane. She’d gone missing when he was supposed to have been looking after her. He must have carried a huge amount of guilt, which explained his erratic behavior in high school that Gem had spoken about. What impressed me most about Dane was no matter how bad things got, he pulled himself through.

  Earl was seen loitering around the area in a grey pick-up truck. Steffy’s dress and doll were later found on his premises, as well as her blood. He’d confessed to her murder, but died of a heart attack before telling police where to locate her body.

  An image of Steffy filled the screen. She was beautiful, with the same dark unruly hair as her brother, and the same ice blue eyes and porcelain skin. I slammed my laptop shut, my heart pounding, unable to contain my repulsion for this man that had taken this little girl’s life. How do you ever get over something like that? And never really knowing what had happened, could you ever really move on?

  Grabbing the remote, I switched on the TV. Anything to get that little girl’s image out of my head. Somewhere between cartoons and video clips, I drifted back off to sleep.

  “Lily.”

  I opened my eyes, the urgency in Abby’s voice scaring me. She crouched next to me, her green eyes filled with fear. Anxiety filled my stomach, churning as though it knew something bad was coming. I never felt like this when talking to Abby.

  Ever.

  Except…when she told me about dad. The moments before learning of his affair was the only time I’d ever felt like this.

  “What? Tell me, Abs,” I said, my heart pounding, as though it was going to explode from my chest. Was it Anna? Or mom? God, I couldn’t take any more bad news.

  “It’s Dane,” Abby said, “You need to tell Dane his sister needs help.”

  “What?” I said, confused, “What the hell are you talking about, Abby?”

  “Steffy. She’s in trouble. She needs Dane’s help.” Abby said, her voice strained.

  “Steffy’s dead, Abby,” I was beginning to get angry. Was this her idea of a joke?

  “Lily. Listen to me. Steffy is alive. Before Earl was caught, he sold her to a group.”

  “A group? What the hell does that mean? What kind of group?” I struggled to process what she was telling me. Steffy was alive? That was impossible. Earl confessed. Her killer was dead.

  “She needs help, Lil. There was a reason why they never found her
body,” Abby searched my eyes, “She’s not dead.”

  I sat up abruptly on the couch, struggling for breath, shivering from the cold sweat covering my clammy skin. Abby’s words replayed in my mind over and over like a broken record. That had to have been a dream, as in a made up thing in my mind. Since Abby’s death, I’d never had a normal, run of the mill dream. Every night was the same. We would chat, all night, and I’d wake remembering every detail; the only night I didn’t remember was that first night after breaking my toe.

  “What’s with you?”

  I jumped as Kella plopped herself down on the couch next to me, pushing my feet out of the way.

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” She blurted. Her face screwed up apologetically, “Sorry.” She said, as I raised an eyebrow. Kind of an insensitive thing to say that to the girl who had lost a sister.

  “No, it’s okay. Bad dream,” I said, still thinking about Abby’s words.

  “Do you still see her in your dreams?” She asked gently, reaching for my hand I smiled as she squeezed it. I’d told Kella, and like everyone else, she had assumed it was my mind’s way of coping. Though I’d never say, it frustrated me that she thought this. It made me feel like maybe I was crazy. At the same time though, it was impossible to put into words what the experience was like. If I couldn’t explain it, why should anyone else understand?

  There was one person who had believed me the entire time. Anna. From the beginning, even when I’d been seeing Abby all the time, she believed me. Anna was the only one who didn’t think I was a crazy mess when mom admitted me to the psych ward for help.

  “Sometimes,” I fibbed, “So, Fraser stayed the night, I noticed. At least he's learnt to put on clothes.” I raised my eyebrows, grinning. She smiled sheepishly.

  “Yeah, he did. Sorry about, uh, last week too,” She grinned, blushing. I laughed and nudged her with my elbow.

  “Well he certainly is well equipped,” I commented dryly. Kella burst out laughing, making me laugh too.