Burning Down the House

by Allie Gail

  “And this is my problem, how…?”

  The bell rang then, and Dana waved as she headed for the door. “Good luck on your test,” she chirped brightly.

  “Yeah - I’ll need it!” I returned my attention to Riley. “Look, if you’re having that much trouble why don’t you just ask Mr. Clarke to let your understudy take over?”

  “I can’t do that. It would affect my grade. You need some help with that?” He motioned to my backpack.

  “No, I got it.”

  “Alright…you’re probably still upset with me over the whole homecoming thing. I get it. I guess I can’t really blame you. I was just kind of hoping you’d look past my error in judgment and accept my apology. If it makes you feel any better, the night turned out to be a total disaster.”

  I struggled to conceal a complacent smile. “Why? What happened?”

  “I’m not even sure what happened. Jordan was a complete bitch to me the whole night. I don’t know what her problem is. She’s got some major issues.” He shook his head in bewilderment. “One minute she’s flirting with me and hinting about getting back together, then all of a sudden she does a complete one-eighty and it’s like she’s a totally different person. I’m seriously starting to question whether she might be bipolar or something.”

  I remembered her admission of accepting the date with him as a ploy to make someone else jealous. That right there would explain her erratic behavior. I kept that info to myself though - none of this was any of my business and frankly, I really didn’t give two shits one way or the other. “Not sure what to tell you. Girls are complex creatures.”

  “You got that right. Hey, you gonna be at Colin’s party next weekend?”

  “I’m not sure yet.”

  “Aw now, you gotta come - it’s gonna be insane. Doug lost a bet to Trent and now he has to show up dressed as a cowboy. Complete with assless chaps. You know you don’t wanna miss that.”

  I’d heard all about the infamous bet during lunch earlier. Ah, the allure of witnessing Doug’s big hairy butt hanging out of a pair of cowboy chaps. What an incentive. “Yeah, I don’t know how I’d ever live with myself knowing I missed out on that.”

  “Once in a lifetime opportunity.” He gave me the same broad, boyish grin he frequently used on teachers to win them over. “Here’s an idea - why don’t you ride there with me? I’ll be your designated driver. That way you can party all you want and I’ll make sure nothing happens to you. I figure I owe you that much.”

  Was he high or did he seriously believe I was that stupid? Oh sure, like I was naïve enough to go off and get completely bombed while entrusting him to safeguard my virtue. Dude should take his act to a comedy club. “You’re all heart, Riley.” Incredibly, he didn’t even appear to catch the sarcasm. That, or he simply overlooked it.

  “Killer! So what do you say? Wanna get together this weekend and rehearse our parts? I’m free all day Saturday.”

  “I’m not. I have plans.” This was actually true - I was going with Dana to help her search out a costume. Not that it would take all day, but I had no intention of wasting one minute of my weekend helping Golden Boy learn his lines just because he took on more than he could handle. That was his problem, not mine.

  “Maybe sometime after Halloween then,” he persisted.

  I stopped in front of the door to my physics class. “We’ll see how it goes. I stay pretty busy.”

  “All right. Well, if your plans change, give me a call. You have my number.”

  If my plans changed. As in, if there was a global disaster and he was the only remaining male left on earth. Would I call him then? Nah…probably not. I couldn’t imagine ever being that desperate.

  Dad was fumbling around in the garage when I got home from school. He didn’t hear me come up behind him and when I touched his shoulder he nearly jumped out of his skin.

  “Sara! You scared me half to death, sweetheart…sneaking up on me like that. I’ll have to put a bell around your neck.”

  “Sorry…”

  “How was school today?”

  “Pretty good. I aced a physics test I barely even studied for. Oh, and Doug has to wear buttless chaps for Halloween. What’re you looking for?”

  “I know I have a chainsaw around here somewhere. Have you - wait, Doug has to wear what?”

  I laughed at his double take. “You’re better off not knowing. Trust me.”

  “I’ll take your word for it,” he chuckled. “Looks like we had some nasty weather come through here last night, huh?”

  “Yeah, it got pretty rough. The power was out almost all night.”

  “Glad that limb didn’t hit the roof.” He stumbled over a rusty bicycle and fell against a stack of cardboard boxes, almost knocking them over. “Dammit, I have got to sort through all this crap one of these days!”

  “You didn’t have to fly through any bad weather?”

  “Just a little wind shear. Nothing major. Where’s Rob, at practice?”

  “Yeah, I guess. He said he’d take care of that limb if we had a chainsaw.”

  “We have one…the question is, where did I put the darn thing? Oh, hey - looky looky, what do we have here?” He held up the orange saw triumphantly. “Ah-ha! Knew it was under all this junk somewhere. Now we’re in business.”

  “You need any help?”

  “No thanks, ladybug - I’m just gonna cut it into smaller pieces so it can be thrown out back in the woods.”

  “Rob and I can take care of that.”

  “We’ll see how it goes. Shouldn’t take me too long.”

  Leaving Dad to his work, I went inside to finish up the little bit of homework that didn’t get done during study hall. After that I started a load of laundry, vacuumed the living room and put together a chicken noodle casserole for dinner. There was a recipe on the back of the noodle package that sounded good, and since we had all the ingredients I figured why not give it a try? It smelled heavenly while it was baking, filling the kitchen with the savory aroma of bell peppers and toasted crackers.

  I was just opening the oven to check on it when Dana’s familiar Suicide Blonde ringtone interrupted me. Before I even had a chance to say hello, she was squealing into my ear, “Have you lost your mind?”

  “Um, no. I don’t think so.” What was I supposed to have done now?

  “You didn’t really agree to go out with Riley Murphy again! Please, tell me you’re not that dumb!”

  “I’m not that dumb. Where’d you get that idea?”

  “Trent said Riley told him at football practice today that he’s taking you to Colin’s party next weekend.”

  Oh, for the love of… “Are you kidding me? Dana, you know better than that. He’s full of it.”

  “You mean he just made it up?” She sounded incredulous and relieved at the same time.

  “Well, someone’s got their facts mixed up. Because I can definitely guarantee you I’m not going anywhere with that fucktard.”

  “Oh.” There was silence for a minute, then I heard her sigh. “Well, I did think it was a little out there. Especially since it seemed to me like you and Rob were starting to click.”

  “I didn’t think you liked Rob,” I reminded her.

  “He’s not as bad as I used to think. At least he’s not a phony. I used to believe Riley was such a nice guy, but now I think he’s just full of himself.”

  “He is that.”

  “No wonder Jordan doesn’t want him back.”

  For some reason I suddenly recalled the necklace she’d been wearing, the charm with the letter “R”. Whatever game she was playing, it was getting her nowhere fast. Did she want him back or didn’t she? Maybe Riley was on to something about her being bipolar. “Do you know if he said anything in front of Rob?”

  “Uh-uh. You want me to ask Trent?”

  The front door slammed and I heard my dad’s voice along with Rob’s. “No, don’t worry about it. I have a feeling I’m about to find out.”

  I was setting the
table when Dad appeared in the kitchen a few minutes later. “Why, that smells downright edible,” he teased.

  “Hopefully it will be. I never made this before. Did you get the limb hauled off?”

  “Sure did…Rob and Doug showed up just in time to help me drag the pieces out back.”

  “Doug’s here?”

  “No, he went on home.”

  “Did you ask him about the chaps?” I grinned at him while filling the tea glasses.

  “No, and why would you bring that up at the dinner table? I don’t want that image in my head while I’m trying to eat.”

  “What image?” Rob asked, joining us at the table. I quickly assessed his expression, but there was nothing unusual there. Either he didn’t know or he didn’t care. I really hoped it wasn’t the latter.

  “Doug and his cowboy stripper getup.” Too bad it wasn’t Rob who lost the bet. I’d have paid money to see him in an outfit like that. Talk about yummy…

  “I have to say, I’m with your dad on this one.” He spooned some of the casserole onto his plate and reached for a couple of crescent rolls.

  I couldn’t resist picking at them. “Hey, it might not be so bad. You never know. Maybe he’ll go to the salon and have his butt waxed.”

  My poor father just happened to have a mouthful of iced tea at that point and came close to spitting it all over the place. His eyes watered while he managed to gulp it down, then he began coughing and laughing at the same time. “Sara! Have some mercy!”

  “Okay, okay...no more talk about hairy butts, I promise.”

  “Thank you!”

  I waited until things got quiet before innocently asking, “Hey Rob…did he happen to mention whether or not his junk would be covered up?”

  “Sara Louise Marsh!” Shaking his head, my dad dissolved into laughter again. Even Rob couldn’t keep a straight face.

  “What? I didn’t say anything about his butt!”

  “It’s going to be your butt if you don’t cease and desist the commentary on Doug Price’s anatomy!”

  “All right. Would you like to hear about Dana’s little brother instead?”

  “I’m afraid to ask. What about him?”

  “She says he has this really gross rash…”

  “That’s it. I’m eating in the living room.” He made a show of pushing away from the table and I patted his hand with a giggle.

  “I love you, Daddy…”

  “Rotten little booger,” he chuckled affectionately.

  “Your middle name is Louise?” Rob smirked at me.

  “I suppose yours is any better! What is it…Eugene? Poindexter?”

  “Isaac.”

  “Oh. Well…okay, that’s not so bad.”

  “Louise was her mother’s idea,” my dad explained. “It was Elizabeth’s great-grandmother’s name.” His eyes twinkled at me. “Just be glad she didn’t decide to name you after her great-great-grandmother.”

  “Why? What was her name?”

  “Fannie!”

  After dinner we migrated to the living room to watch a movie but my lack of sleep finally caught up with me, and ten minutes into it I conked out on the couch. Sometime later I was jerked awake by a sudden stillness. Groggily I opened my eyes, lifting my head to look around. The room had grown strangely dark and quiet, and I realized that my father had fallen asleep in his recliner and Rob had just turned off the TV.

  Standing, he leaned over me and whispered, “Come on, let’s go to bed. You’re exhausted.”

  My toes curled at the way he said let’s go to bed. Of course he didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but oh, coming from him it sounded delightfully sexy. Yawning, I pulled myself up and plodded over to cover my dad with a throw blanket. I didn’t bother trying to wake him - he’s an impossibly heavy sleeper. Besides, he dozes off in his recliner all the time. If he’s tired enough he just stays there all night.

  Rob followed me to the hallway, but just before I went into my room he stopped me with a hand on my arm. “Sara. I want you to do something for me.”

  I blinked at him sleepily. “What?”

  “I want you to break your date with Riley.”

  “My…what date?”

  “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Tell him tomorrow you’re not going with him to that party. If you want to go so damn bad, I’ll take you. But I don’t want you going anywhere with him. Okay?”

  It took me a minute to make sense of his words, but when I finally realized what he was talking about I felt a surge of irritation at his demand. Maybe it was just because I was tired and crabby, but I really wanted to know what his deal was. He didn’t think we should be romantically involved, yet apparently everyone else was off limits to me as well? Instead of informing him that his facts couldn’t be more skewed, I asked, “Why should I?”

  “Because I asked you to. As a friend.”

  “Friends don’t normally tell one another what they can and can’t do,” I clued him in.

  “Friends do try to protect one another.” One of his hands reached up to grasp the back of my neck, his thumb stroking my cheek softly while I tried not to let his touch break my resolve. “There’s no way I’m letting you go running off to some kegger with the last guy in the world I’d trust. It’s just not a good situation to put yourself in.”

  “I don’t need a bodyguard, Rob. I know how to handle myself.”

  “Break the date.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Let me get this straight. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either. Does that about sum it up?”

  “I never said I didn’t want you.”

  “And I never said I was going out with Riley. He’s full of shit.”

  I watched in triumph as he shook his head, those luscious lips twitching as if he was tempted to laugh at his own blunder. “Son of a bitch. I shoulda known.”

  “That’s right. You should have.” I raised my chin and looked him dead in the eye. “Even so…I don’t know what you think gives you the right to tell me where I can go or who I can go there with. First you tell me we should be nothing more than friends and then you turn around and decide it’s your responsibility to make my decisions for me - I don’t think so, Rob. It doesn’t work that way. A couple of kisses doesn’t mean you get to run my life.”

  He seemed taken aback by my indignation. “I’m not trying to run your life. That’s not - if I came off that way, I apologize…it wasn’t my intention.” His finger continued to caress my cheek and I wanted nothing more than to fall into his embrace. But I resisted the temptation. Because as much as I wanted him, he couldn’t have it both ways. If it was truly his intention to keep this platonic, then I wasn’t going to be the one to throw myself at him. From now on, the ball was in his court and any moves made would have to come from his end.

  I sighed. “It’s okay…forget it. No harm, no foul.”

  “I was just trying to look out for you. Kind of like a brother, you know…”

  A brother. Great. It’s every girl’s dream to be perceived as a little sister by the guy she’s crazy for. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m perfectly capable of looking out for myself.”

  “All right. Message received.” His hand left my neck to drop to his side. “Then you won’t be going?”

  “To Colin’s party? I haven’t decided yet. If I do, it sure as hell won’t be with Riley.”

  “Well, I know one thing. You won’t be going there alone.” He raised one eyebrow and gave me an infuriatingly smug look.

  I didn’t know whether to stomp on his foot or laugh at him. “Oh, really?”

  “Someone has to protect you from all the predators.”

  “Didn’t we just have this discussion?”

  “Maybe. I have a short-term memory.”

  “I think you got tackled on the football field one too many times.”

  “I think you’re probably right.” With a cocky grin, he turned and headed down the hallway to his own room. “Good n
ight, Sara Louise.”

  14

  The days leading up to Halloween and my birthday flew by fairly quickly. Dad and I went to the game on Friday night as usual, watching in mutual disappointment as the Hornets lost their first game of the season by just three points. At least Rob didn’t seem to take it personally. From the reaction of some of the other players, you’d have thought their left nuts were riding on the outcome.

  On Saturday, Dana and I hit up every party supply store in town looking for a costume perfect enough to suit her. It took forever because she couldn’t make up her mind. I finally convinced her to go as Alice in Wonderland. With her straight blonde hair, it seemed like the most fitting choice. Of course, after that we had to cover all the shoe stores in search of a pair of black Mary Janes.

  She tried to get me to pick out a costume as well, but I put her off by telling her I had last year’s renaissance maiden dress in my closet. Secretly I’d already made up my mind that if Rob wasn’t going to that party, then neither was I. Maybe it sounds pathetic, but I just wasn’t interested in being there if he wasn’t around. And I wasn’t about to ask him to take me. I fully intended to stick by my resolution to keep things on a platonic level while leaving the choice in his hands.

  So far he was keeping those hands to himself. He remained sweet and became more openly friendly, even falling into the habit of calling me Saralou because of my middle name. But he was very careful to maintain his distance. So I stayed at arm’s length as well. It was a lot harder than it sounds. Trust me.

  I cut school on Wednesday afternoon for my appointment with Planned Parenthood. It wasn’t nearly as humiliating as I expected. Since I’d never been sexually active before, I wasn’t even required to endure the dreaded pelvic exam. Basically my options were explained to me, and after that I was given a supply of birth control pills with detailed instructions on how to use them. After I got home I stuck them in my bathroom drawer, trying to decide whether or not I should even start taking them. There didn’t seem to be much point right now. In the end I figured I might as well though, since they were supposed to help alleviate cramps and regulate my period. Yeah, that was why.