Soul Matters

by Yolonda Tonette Sanders

  Dang! Wendy had been so determined not to answer any of Kevin’s calls yesterday that she had ignored both her cell phone and the home phone each time they rang. The possibility of him calling anywhere else never crossed her mind. She sighed and reluctantly asked, “Are you coming in?” She really didn’t feel like talking, but it was evident that her sister wasn’t leaving until she did.

  Kim folded her arms and walked into the foyer, looking at Wendy and waiting for an explanation.

  Normally, Wendy would have had a fit if someone dragged snow-covered boots across her oak floor. However, she knew that she wasn’t in a position to remind Kim to take off her shoes.

  “Are we just gonna stand here or are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

  “Can we please go sit down? I’d prefer not to stand here while you interrogate me.” Why did you answer the door? Why, why, why . . . she questioned herself while walking down the foyer. Kim followed silently behind her.

  When the two ladies entered the living room, Wendy was glad to see that Kim had taken off her boots before stepping on the light beige carpet. The living room usually had such a warm feeling, being decorated in hunter green and white. The cathedral ceiling helped create a classy look. It was evident that Wendy had put a lot of thought, time, and money into furnishing the room. She even had a custom-made ceiling fan with a white base and see-through hunter green blades. What Kim liked most was the hidden TV that sat directly above the fireplace. At first glance, it was just a wall. However, with the touch of a button, what appeared to be a wall opened up and a thirty-two-inch flat-screen television emerged.

  “Where are the kids?” Wendy inquired, trying to break the ice as she sat on the couch and Kim stood over her.

  “They’re with Mama.”

  “Does she know you came over here?”

  “No, I didn’t tell her. I didn’t even tell Terrance. After he left for work, I called Mama and asked her to keep Tori and Tyler so I could go help out at the salon for a few hours.”

  Wendy was relieved. “Thank you for not telling her.”

  “Thank me, for what? I said I didn’t tell her, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t.”

  “Look, Kim. I know you’re upset, but I really need you to calm down if you want to talk. There’s a lot going on and I really don’t need to deal with you and your feisty attitude.”

  Kim gave Wendy a blank stare. “What do you expect? Maybe I wouldn’t be upset had I not just caught you in a bold-faced lie.”

  “I know. . . . I’m sorry. . . . Just hear me out, will you?”

  “I’m listening.”

  “What exactly did Kevin say when he called you?” Wendy asked curiously. She wanted to know how much Kim knew about her situation. If Kevin hadn’t gone into details then neither would she.

  “That’s just it. He didn’t say anything. I asked him what was going on and he said I needed to talk to you, then he hung up on me. So tell me, what’s going on?” Kim demanded.

  “Well Kevin and I . . .” Wendy hesitated for a moment. “We . . . we split up.”

  “Really? When?”

  “A little over a week ago. In fact, it was the day after Daddy’s birthday.”

  Kim sat down next to Wendy. Her expression of anger twisted into concern. “What happened?”

  “I found out that he cheated on me. That’s why I didn’t go to Philadelphia.” It angered Wendy to say that out loud.

  “Oh my God.” Kim covered her hands with her mouth. “How did you find out?”

  “It’s a long story and I really don’t feel like going into any details right now,” Wendy said, desperately wanting to avoid telling her about the appointment with the gynecologist.

  “Okay,” Kim stated, respecting her sister’s privacy. She hated it when people tried to force her into talking about something she wasn’t ready to discuss. She was not going to put Wendy in that position. “Why didn’t you come over to Mama’s house and spend Christmas with us?”

  “You know how big a deal Kevin was making about us going to Philly. If I had showed up over there, everyone would have been asking questions and I guess I’m not ready for everyone to know yet. Plus, you know how Gramma is. I wasn’t in the mood to put up with her.”

  “But what about me? Why didn’t you tell me?” Kim sounded hurt. “I wouldn’t have told them anything.”

  “Yeah, I know. I was going to tell you, I promise. But what good would it have done for me to tell you before Christmas?”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “I would have ruined your Christmas. You would have been over there worried about me. It’s not like you could have come and spent any time over here. Everyone would have been suspicious.”

  “But still, I would have found some way to work it out.”

  “How, Kim? Then that would have interfered with the proposal Terrance had planned.”

  “How did you know about that?”

  “Everyone knew except for you—oh, and Gramma. How did she react?”

  “She was a little bitter,” Kim recalled with a slight grin, “but she’ll get over it.”

  “I was with him when he bought the ring.”

  “You what? See, he didn’t tell me that. I’m thinkin’ the brotha picked it out on his own.”

  “He did. I went along to steer him in the right direction.” For the first time since her sister had been there, Wendy put on a smile. “You like it, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do. Thank you so much.” Kim gave her sister a hug. The only thing that would have made her proposal more special was if Wendy had been there. Kim still hadn’t expressed how excited she really was about the whole thing. Last night she had been stressing over Kevin’s phone call. Now she was even more concerned in light of what Wendy had just told her. It was sort of hard for Kim to be happy about her engagement after hearing about her sister’s marital problems. “I’m sorry for the way that I came over here. I had no idea what was going on with you, and I was worried.”

  “I know. I’m sorry too. I’m very sorry for not being there to see your face when Terrance gave you the ring. I just didn’t think I would be able to handle the pressure of everyone questioning me.”

  “So what’s gonna happen now? Are you guys getting a divorce?”

  “I’m sure we will eventually,” Wendy replied solemnly.

  “What are y’all gonna do with the house?”

  “I’m not sure. We haven’t even discussed it. I guess we’ll figure that out later. I just want to move on with my life, and the only way I can do that is by not being with him. If that means giving up the house, so be it.” Wendy hated the thought of leaving her luxurious five-thousand-square-foot home. She and Kevin had bought it a few weeks before they were married, for $2.6 million. It was her dream home, but if she had to give it up in order to get rid of him, then she would.

  “That jerk!” Kim said angrily. “I can’t believe he would do something like this to you, especially with the baby on the way.”

  “Well, the baby won’t be an issue anymore after—” Wendy stopped mid-sentence. Dang it! She had not meant to share her thoughts out loud.

  “After what? What were you gonna say?”

  Wendy wished she hadn’t opened her big mouth. Sure, she would have to tell Kim eventually, but she hadn’t planned on doing it that day. “After . . . the . . . miscarriage,” she answered slowly.

  Kim’s eyes got big. “You had a miscarriage?”

  “No . . . not yet. My doctor said that I’m in jeopardy of having one, though.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “You saw how sick I was. I’ve also been having a lot of cramping and bleeding.”

  “Oh, I am so sorry.” Kim hugged Wendy again. She knew how badly her sister wanted children, and she felt like crying. She wouldn’t have held back the tears if she didn’t think Wendy would start crying also. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I have no choice but to be,” Wendy said, looking at the floor.


  “You’re not going back to work after the New Year, are you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why? You need to try and take care of yourself and the baby.”

  “There’s nothing I can do about the baby. It’s out of my hands.”

  Kim felt horrible about being so abrasive earlier. She would like to wring Kevin’s neck for everything he’d done to her sister. “How long are you pretending to be in Philly?”

  “Kevin and I aren’t supposed to come back until after the New Year, so I guess until then.”

  “What are you doing on New Year’s Eve?”

  “Nothing. I’ll just sit around the house like I did yesterday. I really can’t go to church ’cuz Mama and Daddy will be there.”

  “Well, I’ll be over that night. Maybe we can go downtown to First Night Columbus,” Kim suggested, referring to the annual community New Year’s Eve celebration.

  “I don’t know, Kim. I’m trying to keep a low profile, seeing how I’m really supposed to be out of town and all. Besides, what about Terrance and the kids? You can’t bring Tori or Tyler with you.”

  “I’ll think of something. I’m gonna tell Terrance the truth, but I promise I won’t tell Mama.”

  “Let me think about it.” Wendy didn’t like dragging Kim into her lie.

  “No. There’s nothing to think about. You’re spending New Year’s Eve with me and that’s final.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “You may at least want to call Kevin so he doesn’t call Mama’s house again. You’re lucky I answered the phone.”

  “Yeah, I will.” The thought of talking to Kevin irritated her, but it was something that definitely had to be done if Wendy was going to keep up her charade.

  “Well, I have to run. I told Mama that I wouldn’t be gone too long. She already thought it was crazy that I was getting up early to work, especially since I told her that I’m off the rest of the week. I wouldn’t want her to call the shop.”

  “That would be a disaster.”

  “Call me if you need anything.”

  “Okay.”

  “I mean it,” Kim said. “You don’t have to go through this alone. That’s what sisters are for.”

  “Thank you.”

  Kim hugged her sister a third time. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  As Kim walked toward the front door, she was glad she had made the trip over to Wendy’s house. Wendy’s openness about her situation confirmed to Kim the closeness of their relationship. Besides Terrance, Wendy was her best friend.

  Wendy, on the other hand, was engulfed by feelings of guilt. What she had told Kim about the miscarriage was much more than just a little white lie.

  Chapter Six

  A Choice in the Matter

  HOW CAN I HELP YOU?” the receptionist asked.

  “I have an appointment,” Wendy shyly stated.

  “May I have your name, please?”

  “Wendy Phillips.”

  She leaned closer to verify what was said. “Did you say Cindy Phillips?”

  “No, Wendy Phillips,” Wendy repeated louder this time.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” She looked at her schedule. “I show that we sent your registration form and state-mandated literature to you by mail, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you bring the registration form with you?”

  “Um-hmm.” Wendy glanced over her paperwork to double-check that all necessary information had been filled out: name, birth date, address, telephone number, and medical history.There was no way she would give out her work number. If she got a call at work from here, Ms. Burchett would make it her business to hunt Wendy down for information. “Here you go.”

  “Thank you.” The receptionist also looked over the paperwork. “You need to sign this form giving your consent to be treated today.” She handed Wendy a different document, pointing to the dotted line where her signature was needed.

  Wendy scribbled her signature on the paper and gave it back to the lady.

  “Now I just need your payment. We only take cash or credit.”

  Money was the least of Wendy’s concerns right now. She handed the lady cash that she’d withdrawn earlier that morning from the bank.

  “Okay, you’re all set. Just have a seat and a nurse will call you back shortly.”

  Wendy searched for an empty seat. The waiting room was more crowded than she’d expected it to be. The lighting was dull, which gave the place a depressing aura. She was shocked to see how many young women were there. Some appeared to be terrified and others were calm, like they’d done this before. Wendy was especially glad not to see any familiar faces. She’d driven nearly an hour from Columbus to ensure anonymity. Wendy found a seat next to a frightened young lady who looked like she’d turned eighteen just days ago. She searched for words to comfort her but couldn’t think of anything to say. They were in the same position, and she was scared herself.

  Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw one woman come from the back crying. She closed them to prevent having to look at the face of anyone else. Wendy nervously rocked back and forth in the chair as frightening thoughts raced through her head. People bomb places like this. What if I’m here and it blows up? This is not where I want to die. Spiritually, Wendy knew that what she was planning to do was wrong, but she continued justifying her actions. It’ll make separating from Kevin much easier.

  Wendy had called him the other day after Kim left. He said that he loved her and apologized again for what happened. He asked if she would see him when he got back. Although she wasn’t thrilled about seeing him, she knew that she couldn’t avoid doing so forever. There were a few things that needed to be taken care of, so she agreed to meet with him next Friday. Lying to Kevin wouldn’t bother her after all he’d put her through, but it would be hard lying to everyone else in her family. She felt bad enough about telling Kim. Maybe I’ll tell Mama and have her tell Daddy and Gramma.

  “Wendy Phillips . . .”

  Wendy was so consumed with her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed when the girl next to her had been called. Her legs trembled as she got up and walked toward the nurse.

  “How are you today?” the nurse asked Wendy.

  “I’m fine, thank you,” she lied. “My sister’s name is Kim also, but she spells her name with an i instead of with a y,” Wendy mentioned after noticing the nurse’s name tag. It was all she could think to say during such an awkward moment.

  “Yeah, I guess it is uncommon to spell it with a y,” Nurse Kym acknowledged. “Will you step on the scale so I can get your weight, please?”

  Wendy did as she was told. The name was the only thing Nurse Kym had in common with her sister. They did not resemble each other at all. Kym had extremely pale skin that was in desperate need of a tan. She looked like she was probably in her late thirties or early forties and needed a touch-up to her blond hair because the brown roots were starting to show.

  Wendy looked at the scale and was astonished by the amount of weight she had gained. In the last couple of months, she had put on fifteen pounds. There was no telling how big she would be if she carried this pregnancy to term.

  “I’m going to have to take a urine test to verify your pregnancy before we go any further,” Kym announced.

  Wendy really didn’t think it was necessary. She wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t pregnant. Nevertheless, she took the cup from Kym, went in the rest room to do her business, and returned a few moments later.

  “Thank you.” Kym took the urine sample from Wendy. “You can wait in Room Three. Please get undressed and put the gown on that’s on the table. I’ll be in there shortly to draw your blood and do an ultrasound. After that, you’ll have to watch a short video before we actually do the procedure.”

  Wendy obediently walked to her assigned room and waited. She thought about her relationship with Kevin and wished she had taken more time to get to know him before they got married. She had been in her late twenti
es and had felt like time was passing her by. All of her friends had been either married or engaged. Wendy had felt like she was always a bridesmaid, and she’d desperately wanted to be a bride. Even those who weren’t married had children like her best friend, Gwen, and her sister.

  Kym walked into the room. “You are most definitely pregnant.” She spoke matter-of-factly.

  “Yeah, I kind of figured that,” Wendy replied for lack of anything better.

  “A lot of women don’t understand why we take urine tests. We have to by law. It’s sort of stupid since women come here because they’re pregnant, but rules are rules and we must follow them.” She put on gloves and pulled a needle out of her pocket. “Now I need to draw some blood to determine what blood type you are.”

  “What does my blood type have to do with anything?”

  “We need to test the iron levels in your blood and check to see if your blood type is positive or negative.”

  Wendy still didn’t understand why it would be important. Kym picked up on her confusion. “I don’t mean to scare you, but if something were to happen while you were here, say you began hemorrhaging or something, we need as much information as possible to be able to help you.”

  Kym’s answer only made Wendy more terrified.

  After taking blood, Wendy lay down so Kym could perform the ultrasound. She accidentally caught a glimpse of the monitor as the cold ball rolled against her abdomen. She recalled the pictures of a previous ultrasound she had received from Dr. Korva. Kevin had been so happy. He swore that he could see the baby’s face, while the only thing Wendy could see was a fuzzy black-and-white image of something that definitely didn’t look like a baby.

  Kevin had already picked out possible names for the baby. If it was a girl, he wanted to name her Maya Nicole after his sister who’d died several years ago. That didn’t bother Wendy, especially since her middle name was Nicole also. It would have been like naming the baby after herself. If it was a boy, he wanted to name him KJ, short for Kevin Jamal Phillips Jr. Wendy wasn’t too eager about having a junior, but she would have been willing to let Kevin have his namesake. If only he hadn’t cheated on me . . .