Confessions of a Bad Bridesmaid

by Jennifer Rae

  Slowly Edward led her by the hand into the maze. The structure was still there but it had become overgrown. The hedges were growing low on the ground and some of them were growing into each other. Edward hacked at them with his hands and feet so they could get through.

  The maze was beautiful. It felt as if they’d been swallowed up by it. Olivia couldn’t see out or any further ahead than the next hedge. She was glad Edward had hold of her hand or she was sure she’d get lost.

  ‘My string always broke. I’d lose my temper and pull it too tight.’

  ‘What about Will?’

  ‘Will would get distracted. He’d drop his string or lose it. Bunny would always run off chasing rabbits—which is how she ended up with the name Bunny. But James always made it through. Every time.’

  ‘James?’

  ‘There—look! The Cock and the Pearl.’

  ‘Excuse me?’

  Edward smiled before pulling her up to a statue of a rooster with something round in its beak. ‘The Cock and the Pearl. It’s a fable about a rooster who was strutting up and down the farmyard among the hens when he saw something shiny in the straw. When he dug it out, it was a pearl. But he just threw it away.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘What does a rooster want with a pearl? He’d rather have a single piece of corn than an entire string of pearls.’

  Olivia looked up at him. She was sure he was trying to make a point, but she felt a little as she had when she’d been with Casper and Hugo. Confused and behind the conversation.

  ‘He would?’

  Edward laughed and pulled on her hand again, leading her further and further into the maze. ‘Think of it this way: you could have six hundred pairs of those ridiculous boots you were wearing when I met you, but if you gave them to me I’d just throw them away.’

  ‘Those boots cost me five hundred dollars!’

  ‘But what good are they to me? They won’t fit, they’d be uncomfortable and I’d not have a thing to wear with them.’

  She pushed his shoulder when he grinned.

  ‘But give me a good sturdy pair of runners and to me they’d be worth more than all your boots.’

  ‘So what you’re saying is one man’s trash is another man’s treasure?’

  ‘Sort of. I rather think it means that if someone doesn’t like you it’s a reflection on them—not you.’

  He squeezed her hand and flashed a wide smile and her knees gave an involuntary wobble. Did he have to be so gorgeous?

  ‘What’s this one?’ she asked, trying to shake off the nervous stutter in her chest.

  Edward let go of her hand and circled around the statue. ‘Ah...this one was tricky. Took us a long while to figure this one out.’

  Olivia watched as he walked, his hands jammed in his pockets. He was looking up and she could see the shadow of his stubble on his face. He looked older, harder. He stood still for a moment. The muscle at his jaw worked and he seemed lost in thought. Olivia looked at the statue of a snake with its tongue out and its head up in attack. At his feet was a small boy who lay dead. She knew this one. Something about a farmer and a snake.

  ‘The snake bit the farmer’s son, didn’t he?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Edward quietly.

  ‘And then he bit his cattle.’

  ‘He bit his cattle because the farmer cut off part of his tail. In revenge for killing his son. But after his cattle were killed the farmer brought food and honey to the serpent’s lair. Told him he wanted to forgive and forget.’

  ‘But the serpent refused. He said that what they’d done to each other could be forgiven, but never forgotten,’ Olivia remembered.

  Edward was silent. His jaw worked frantically. Olivia moved closer and wrapped her arm around his biceps, somehow knowing that he needed comfort. He looked down at her and Olivia saw sadness in his eyes.

  ‘What is it?’ she asked softly.

  Slowly, carefully, Edward pulled his hand out of his pocket and reached for her face. Olivia stood still, waiting for his touch, anticipating the gentle feel of his fingers on her skin. Gently his cold fingers stroked her cheek as his gaze trailed over her face, down the curve of her neck and back again. His hand looped around her ear and his eyes locked with hers. Hard.

  ‘Edward, what is it?’ she whispered.

  His gaze broke and he took his hand away and looked at the statue. Olivia felt as if he’d torn something from her.

  ‘Nothing.’ His voice was raw. He shuffled before taking her hand and leading her further into the maze.

  ELEVEN

  It took them more than an hour to get through the maze. They figured out all the fables, laughed at the stupid ones and tried to find the hidden meaning of the tricky ones. Edward held her hand the entire time, and when they reached the other side the first spots of rain fell.

  They started to run until Olivia spotted the flags of the castle and the large stone building looming ahead of them. She was stumbling in her big gumboots and her feet slipped, but Edward grabbed her around the waist to stop her from falling. She was laughing as he scooped her off the ground and barely felt the rain as it turned into freezing sleet against her skin.

  Edward was so close and his body was so warm. He’d lifted her high enough so that her mouth was level with his. She could feel his breath warm against her lips, and when she lifted her eyes she saw something that shocked her.

  He wanted her.

  He wanted to kiss her.

  She didn’t think.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressed her lips to his and forgot to think or breathe. All she did was feel. His lips pressed hard against hers. Her lips tingled and her body heated until she forgot the wind and the ice and the cold and felt a blast of fire flood her veins. Then he opened his mouth and a rush of emotion made her whimper. He was kissing her back. Really kissing her back.

  He tilted his head to get better access and she pushed closer to him, winding her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. He tasted like beer and smelled like soap and she couldn’t think of anything but him. The muscles in his shoulders were hard as she moved her arms around them. The roughness of his stubble against her top lip and the deep groan he made when she nipped at his bottom lip made her body shiver.

  But then, as he had last night, he pushed her away. Let her drop and pushed at her shoulders. His eyes blazed and his lips were swollen.

  ‘What? What is it?’

  ‘Olivia. I’m sorry. I can’t.’

  ‘Can’t what?’

  But he didn’t answer her. He just let go and stepped back.

  He didn’t want her. He’d been caught up in the rain and the romance of the maze and he didn’t want her after all. After all the mistakes she’d made she’d thought she’d be used to rejection by now. But his rejection seemed to bite hard.

  ‘Can’t what? Can’t kiss me? Or don’t want anyone to see you kiss a girl like me.’

  ‘Olivia. You’re behaving like a child. We can’t just...do this.’ His eyes flashed.

  ‘A child! Me? I’m not the one who sees the shiny toy and wants to play with it but doesn’t want to buy. I’m not the one who breaks the string, Edward. That’s you.’

  ‘You don’t understand. It’s Will’s wedding and I...’

  ‘And you what? What difference does it make where we are? Stop making excuses. You don’t want to kiss me because you don’t think I’m good enough for you. Isn’t that right?’

  ‘No, that’s not right.’

  ‘Then what is it?’

  She watched his face. Pieces of ice were getting caught in his eyelashes. His lips were turning blue. She felt her hair damp across her face. She probably looked a mess. Nothing like Perfect Penelope. How could she compete with perfection? She’d been a fool to think som
eone who looked like him, who was as interesting as he was, would be interested in her. Loopy Livvie.

  She didn’t wait for his answer. She dodged around him and ran all the way up the lawn and into the warmth of the house.

  * * *

  Things had become way out of hand. For the first time in a long time Edward felt out of control and he didn’t know what to do. He tipped the glass in his hand and the ice clinked. What was always going to be a difficult weekend was now more complicated than ever.

  Why the hell had he kissed her? He knew the answer to that. She was beautiful. And funny and sweet and charming and sexy as hell. But he still shouldn’t have kissed her. She was Fiona’s best friend—the Maid of Honour. Could he be any more obvious? And Will had been her first choice. It might have been her here, marrying his brother, if Fiona hadn’t turned up. He took another sip of his Glenfiddich and enjoyed the burn as it snaked down his throat. He had enough to contend with in his mother and his father and Bunny and the Blenheim Blowhards without throwing Olivia into the mix.

  Anyway, he should have been working—not traipsing the countryside indulging in the attentions of a pretty girl. But when they’d walked near the maze he hadn’t been able to help himself. James had been on his mind since he’d arrived. Especially since his mother seemed so lost this weekend. He’d wanted to go there—but somehow he couldn’t. Until Olivia was with him.

  When he’d kissed her neck earlier he’d felt her shock. She’d trembled beneath his lips as if afraid that their tentative friendship had been ruined. He’d thought taking her to the maze might repair the damage he’d done. He didn’t want to fight with her—quite the opposite. He wanted to be closer to her.

  ‘Which is exactly why I need to stay away from her,’ he mumbled to himself as he took another slug of whisky.

  He wondered where she was. Probably downstairs with Bolton-Smythe and his wandering hands. Laughing and flirting and wearing one of those short dresses of hers.

  He heard laughter in the library as he got closer. Bunny could be heard hooting at something and the dull tones of Hugo—or was it Casper?—rang out across the hall. He knew she’d be in there.

  He shouldn’t go in. He should try and get some work done, check on his mother. Find his father. But he didn’t. He went into the library. They were all sitting around his father’s prized Egyptian alabaster offering table.

  Bunny saw him first. ‘Ed—there you are! Come on—deal him in, Casper. Poker, darling.’

  ‘Not Ed. I’ve fallen into that trap before. He’ll rob us all,’ grumbled Casper unsociably.

  ‘No, don’t deal me in. I’m not playing. I’ll just watch.’ Edward saw Olivia at the table but he avoided her eyes. She didn’t say anything and didn’t look up at him either.

  He found a seat at the other end of the room and picked up a book that was sitting nearby and pretended to read.

  A hoot came from the table. ‘You’ve lost again, Fiona. Terrible luck.’ Bunny laughed and dealt the cards again. ‘Are you playing this time, Olivia, or are the rules still too confusing for you, dear?’

  Edward resisted the urge to stand. He wanted to see what Olivia would say to Bunny’s obvious provocation. He almost hoped she’d cry and leave the room. Deep down, though, he knew that even if she did it was almost certain he wouldn’t like her any less.

  Olivia’s face reddened. ‘I think I’ve figured it out, Bunny.’

  ‘Excellent. How about we make this more interesting, then?’

  Casper’s high-pitched voice chimed in and the muscles in Edward’s neck tensed.

  ‘What do you have in mind, Casp?’

  ‘Strip poker, obvs.’

  Bunny’s horsey friend sucked in a gasp. ‘Casp, no. Strip poker is for sad weirdos and women who wear kitten heels.’

  ‘Then it’s perfect for you, Rosie.’

  Rosie laughed a very loud and annoying bray before turning her gaze onto Edward.

  ‘How about you, Ed? Do you want to play strip poker?’

  She tossed her hair off her shoulder and gazed at him in a way he was sure she thought was seductive.

  ‘No, thanks.’

  ‘They don’t play strip poker in the provincials, Casper.’ Hugo stood and lit his cigarette. ‘They’d scare the wildlife.’

  Edward didn’t miss Hugo’s pointed look towards Olivia and Fiona. Or the muffled laugh from Bunny. Apparently neither did Olivia.

  ‘Strip poker sounds fun. Deal me in.’

  Her chin was up. That bravado she brought out whenever she was nervous was back. He wanted to tell her not to play their game. But he didn’t. He glanced at Olivia. Tonight she had on a tight black dress and not much else, and her hair was pulled up on to the top of her head.

  Sitting to Olivia’s right was Will, and Edward wondered if his brother had ever touched her. Or kissed her. His blood burned at the thought. Edward’s leg started to jiggle, so he stood and paced to the other end of the room.

  ‘What have you got, Olivia?’ asked horsey Rosie sweetly.

  Olivia blanched. Edward suspected she didn’t play much poker.

  ‘Ahhh...’

  ‘C’mon, love. Throw down your cards. We haven’t got all night.’ Hugo was irritable. He was probably losing and worried everyone would laugh at his third nipple.

  ‘Well, I fold,’ announced Bunny with a flourish of cards.

  ‘Good—we’ve already seen everything you have, Bunny. Time to see some new blood.’ Casper’s eyes were set on Olivia as everyone hooted at his not-very-hilarious comment.

  Edward pushed his teeth together. Hadn’t he told that idiot he didn’t want to see his face for the rest of the weekend?

  Olivia laid out her cards. A pair. Not good. Fiona threw in two pairs. A roar went up and they all beat the table and called for Olivia to ‘take it off’. She smiled nervously and Edward was sure she could see his heart beating through his chest. There wasn’t much to take off. She only had on the dress and a pair of shoes. Please choose the shoes, he begged.

  She made a show of standing up and his mouth went dry. The dress fitted her curves perfectly. She turned around and Edward started to panic—but his eyes didn’t leave Olivia. If she took her dress off he’d stop her. He couldn’t let anyone else see... Wait. What was he saying? She didn’t belong to him, he reminded himself. She could show anyone. He had no rights to her.

  His shoulders tightened again as she turned and smiled at them all.

  She reached up and unhooked her great big dangly earrings, smiled, and put them in the centre of the table.

  Casper grumbled and the others laughed and Edward felt the tension leave his body. But it jacked up again when they dealt out another round. This time it was Bunny’s turn to take something off and she quickly whipped off her top. No one blinked.

  Will lost and removed his tie. Fiona lost and her shoes went into the centre. Olivia lost again and her shoes were placed on his father’s antique table.

  Then they played another round after Casper had filled Olivia’s wine glass right to the top. There were only two players left. Casper and Olivia. What the hell would she take off this time? There was nothing left but that dress. He could hear the grandfather clock tick loudly as he waited.

  She lost.

  He saw the look in Casper’s eyes. He’d been watching her closely all night, laughing at her jokes and putting his greasy hand on her leg from time to time. Edward felt like punching him.

  ‘Oh, come on, nobody’s looking. Just take your dress off. I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time.’

  Bunny’s friend Rosie laughed hysterically at Bunny’s terrible joke.

  ‘Enough. You don’t have to do it, Olivia.’ Edward’s gruff voice echoed through the large room. Everyone turned to face him. Finally he felt Olivia’s eyes on him and he stared a
t her. That familiar defiant tilt lifted her chin. Her pretty mouth became a tight white line.

  ‘I’m perfectly able to pay my debts,’ she ground out.

  Casper licked his lips and it took every ounce of control in Edward’s body not to hit him.

  Olivia snaked a hand down the back of her dress and wriggled. What was she doing? She put another hand in her sleeve and wriggled again. Then, in seconds, she pulled her black lacy bra off and threw it on the table. Her breasts sank a little lower in her dress and he could clearly see the outline of her nipples. Standing to attention. Begging to be kissed and licked and—God help him—sucked.

  He had to walk away. This woman was trying to kill him.

  ‘Deal me in.’

  Everybody stopped talking to look at him.

  She didn’t look at him, but picked up her cards.

  ‘Call.’ Her voice was soft and seductive but still she didn’t look at him.

  Edward looked at his cards. Four of a Kind. He couldn’t lose. Unless someone had a Straight Flush. But that was unlikely.

  There were only three of them left. Olivia, Will and himself.

  Olivia looked him square in the eye and he felt as if he’d been hit. His eyes shifted to those heavy breasts that bounced when she moved. He wasn’t going to last much longer.

  He spread his cards out on the table.

  Will tossed his useless cards into the middle of the table. Olivia stood solid, but she was bluffing. He could tell by the tightness of her lips—she had nothing. Slowly she fanned her cards out.

  Straight. She’d lost.

  TWELVE

  With her eyes locked on his, Olivia stood. Edward stopped breathing. Her eyes weren’t covered in that black stuff, like last night, but they were blazing blue. Bluer than he’d ever seen them. With her eyes still on him she moved her sensual body until she was standing up with her hands on her hips.