by James, Sandy
“I’m sorry. I forgot you had to go back tonight. We can do this another time.”
“No way. You know what you want, and we’re going to get it. I’ll make some calls in the morning. No sweat,” Ross reassured with a pat of his hand.
* * * *
It was nearly eleven when Ross eased the car down the long gravel road and parked next to Katie’s barn door. He turned off the engine and glanced over at her. Ross reached up and wrapped one of the curls that had worked free of her ponytail around his finger. “I had a really nice time, Katie.”
She waited for that feeling of anticipation she got whenever Seth had reached out to touch her, but she felt nothing. No shiver of excitement, no blood rushing through her veins, no visceral thrill. “Thanks for dinner, Ross. And thank you for having faith in me.”
Ross leaned over to press a kiss on her lips, and she didn’t resist. Katie waited patiently for the lightning bolt, waited for her insides to melt, waited for the ecstasy she got when Seth had kissed her. Despite the sweetness and gentleness of Ross’s kiss, those feelings never arrived.
He pulled away to stare into her eyes. She could see he was deep in thought as his gaze searched hers, and she didn’t know what to say or do to make things better.
Katie decided she needed to be very sure she wasn’t making a huge error in judgment based on one chaste kiss. Maybe she needed to try harder. Putting her hand behind Ross’s head, she pulled him into a deeper kiss, hoping for a spark to ignite, wanting Ross to exorcise Seth Remington from her troubled mind.
Seth had buried himself in working on Katie’s books, and he’d quickly lost track of time. Hearing the gravel crunch with a vehicle’s approach, he glanced up at the clock above the desk.
Damn it! Where has she been all night?
It took every ounce of his self-control to keep from running straight out to the car and jerk Katie out to make sure Ross kept his paws off her, that the lawyer didn’t lay claim to what wasn’t his. Trying to be as sly as possible, Seth eased his way to the barn door and stared in stunned disbelief as he clearly saw Katie grab Ross and draw him into a zealous kiss. “Damn it!”
He whirled around and marched back into the barn.
Chapter 14
Katie pulled away from Ross. She had her answer. For the second time that night, she damned Seth Remington. Why couldn’t she ever be attracted to the right guy? “Ross, I...”
“You don’t have to say anything, Katie. I get it. I just wish...” His fingers reached up to stroke her cheek. He was so kind, so attentive, and she felt like a fool for not wanting him.
She heaved a weighty sigh, knowing she’d lost her benefactor. But she wasn’t about to string him along simply to get a new horse in her barn. “If you don’t want to get a horse now... I understand.”
His hand dropped to cover hers. “Don’t be ridiculous. Whether we date and whether I buy a horse are entirely separate issues. I want the horse, and I expect you to make a success out of him. But I do hope you’ll give me a chance to see if there might be something more between us than friendship. That’s all I ask. Just give me some time. I grow on people.”
Katie smiled as she felt herself relaxing. “I’ll bet you do. Fine, Ross. I’ll give you some time.”
At the barn door, he took her hand again and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “The money will be at the race office sometime tomorrow. I’ll come to get you for breakfast. Maybe around eight? Then we can go to the race office.”
“I’m sorry, Ross,” she replied with a pang of guilt. “I won’t have time for breakfast. We have chores in the morning.” She drew her hand away. “Thanks again for dinner. I had a really nice time. I’ll get you a damn fine horse. I promise. We’re going to make some money together.”
“You’re welcome, and I believe you, Katie. I believe in you, too.”
She watched him make his way back to the Lexus. She couldn’t help but smile at the care he took in deciding exactly where to step. Some people just couldn’t get past their fear of a little manure.
Katie stood for a moment to gather her tumbling thoughts. Ross was handing her a small fortune to get a horse that could pull her and her stable out of a financial crunch. He wanted nothing in return, didn’t expect anything except for her to do a good job.
Why couldn’t she feel for Ross what she did for a man who would leave her behind in the span of a heartbeat if given the chance? Why did she always have to care for the wrong man? Why couldn’t she ever love wisely?
She sighed and leaned her head against the doorframe, watching the Lexus disappear up the white rock drive.
“Did Matlock leave?” Seth suddenly appeared from the shadows, making Katie jump. She put her hand over her rapidly beating heart.
Surprise wasn’t the only reason her heart was pounding. She didn’t want to, but Katie reacted to Seth being so near. She could feel a flush warming her cheeks as heat raced through her veins, slowly spreading its way through her body. Butterfly flutters assailed her abdomen. Why did things always become decidedly warmer every time he drew near?
She tried to appear nonchalant when she finally answered. “Yeah, Ross left.”
“You two seemed awfully cozy.” His eyes were hard, his voice strained.
“Were you spying on me?”
Seth didn’t answer. Katie let the point drop. It wasn’t as if it would even matter. What she felt for Seth could never be returned, and what might happen between her and Ross was no one’s business but their own. Seth could assume whatever the hell he wanted.
“You ready to go back to the dorm?”
“Not yet. Come with me.” Seth grabbed her hand and dragged her toward her room. Katie stumbled to keep up in her high-heeled sandals.
Seth opened the door and pulled her across the threshold. It only took a second for her to notice what he had done to her desk, and when she did, she reacted in a fit of temper. “Where’s my stuff? What in the hell did you do with all my bills?”
“I know you hate change, Boss. But just look for a second.”
“Look? Look at what? My bills are gone. How am I supposed to pay them now?” Despite her anger, she looked around, surprised at what she saw. On the middle of the now clear desk sat a laptop computer with a printer attached by a long cable. Standing next to the old desk was a small metal filing cabinet. Katie gawked at them. “What did you do?”
With a smile, Seth pulled the chair out and pushed her to take a seat. “You should’ve had one of these a long time ago. There’s a spreadsheet program so you can print bills for your owners.” He pointed at the screen to show her a mock-up of a bill with a cute racehorse logo. “If they get a professional looking bill, they’ll be more likely to pay you on time. The laptop has a wireless card, so if you take it to one of those coffee shops, it’ll pick up the web.”
She was so embarrassed she had a hard time looking at him. “I... I don’t know how to use a spreadsheet, Seth. I can barely use a computer. I only have a G.E.D.” She let her fingers brush gently across the keys. My own computer. Seth got me my own computer.
“So? What does that matter? I know people with PhDs who can’t handle a computer. I’ll show you how to use the silly thing. I happen to know a little bit about them,” he said with a wink. “Did you know you paid Jack’s vet bill twice last month?”
“I did?” Katie pulled open one of the drawers in the file cabinet. Hanging green folders with neatly printed labels cradled her now organized paperwork.
He pointed to one of the files. “Yeah. It’s in there. And the feed bill was wrong.” He flipped to another file. “They charged you for too many bags. I remember because I unloaded them from your truck.”
Katie was stunned. How could he have done so much in such a short time? The fact that he’d managed to make some sense of the one part of her life she never seemed to be able to handle confounded her. She wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or thrilled with everything he’d done. “Seth, I really appreciate all this, but...” She sh
ook her head in frustration. “I can’t afford any of this stuff.”
“I took care of it.” He leaned over her and jiggled the computer’s mouse to navigate the spreadsheet on the screen. His scent drifted around her. So masculine, so enthralling, so... horsey. Fresh hay and leather. “I was just glad they had a laptop I could get my hands on tonight.”
Katie rolled her eyes, thinking she understood the whole situation. “Yeah, I’ll bet you took care of it. I suppose you called one of your friends at Remington Computers and he sent—”
She was entirely unprepared for Seth’s angry interruption. “I paid for it! It’s a refurbished computer, but it’s still good. And, yes, it’s a Remington, but I paid for the damn thing! Thanks a heap for the vote of confidence, Katie.”
She had misjudged him and offered a contrite apology. “I’m sorry, Seth. I really am. I just don’t know how you can afford all this stuff.”
Her apology noticeably cooled his anger, and he went back to leaning over her and playing with her new computer. “What else do I have to spend my stupid salary on?” He shrugged his broad shoulders.
It dawned on her this was the second time a man had told her the same thing that evening, and she felt overwhelmed at the generosity of both Seth and Ross.
Ross. A man who could offer Katie a future, a stable future. He seemed secure in himself, focused on making his career a success, and had a genuine interest in learning about her way of life.
But Ross’s kiss hadn’t reached her heart.
Seth. A man who never made plans beyond tomorrow, had a history of being a spoiled brat, and was only a part of horseracing because he had to be. What kind of future could he have other than a continuation of the habits that had forced his father to create such an onerous will? How many more cars would he wreck? How quickly would he return to the ranks of the Boys’ Club after he left Katie’s employ?
But simply having Seth near made her sigh in longing.
Two very different men, both helping her out of a jam. Each in his own way and neither having an expectation of receiving anything in return for their generosity except friendship. Even though she truly appreciated both of them and what they were doing for her, the emotions running through her mind threatened to drown her.
Katie hated needing other people so much. Relying on others made her too vulnerable. She needed to stand on her own two feet, to handle her own problems. Knowing these men might bail her out of her financial mess was humiliating. She couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in her eyes, nor could she stop her throat from closing up as she choked on her emotions. She tried to hide her reaction from Seth, but he put his hand under her chin and lifted her face until she looked up into those handsome hazel eyes. Knowing all the affection she held for him wasn’t returned only made it harder to stop weeping.
“Katie? Why are you crying? Don’t you like the computer?”
“I’m not crying,” she lied even as another tear traced a path down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb.
Seth was suddenly drowning in her eyes, smothered by her sweet and very feminine scent. Without a thought to the consequences, he dropped to his knees, cupped her face in his hands, and pressed his lips to hers.
The contact was almost more than he could stand. His head swam and the world rotated around him. Every inch of him screamed for her, demanding and demanding, and when his tongue swept into her mouth, she rewarded him with a low moan that instantly made him hard.
Unprepared for the wave of emotion roiling through him when Katie’s tongue returned his caress, he let it wash over him, having no intention of stopping. All he had wanted to do was to make her forget Ross, but she’d succeeded in making him forget everything.
Breaking away from the kiss, Seth wrapped an arm around her waist, sat back on the floor, and pulled Katie from the chair onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again as he threaded his fingers through her soft hair, all but untying her ponytail. He ravaged her mouth, demanding her assent, giving her no opportunity to deny him. He needed to taste her, needed to touch her, needed to consume her.
Time ceased to exist as Seth let one hand slide down her spine as the other boldly moved to claim her breast through the thin material of the sundress. He could hear Katie mewl deep in her throat, and his body responded even more forcefully to the sound, throbbing in anticipation, demanding the interminable seduction come to fruition. Maybe he could make her purr.
There had never been a time in his life when he wanted anything as much as he wanted to possess her at that moment. Body. Heart. Soul. She belonged to him and no one else. His touch would brand her, mark her, make others keep their distance.
“God, Katie, I want you. I want you now.” He nuzzled her neck and she shuddered in response.
“Seth, we can’t,” she offered in a weak protest even as she laced her fingers through his hair to press his face closer to her throat.
Seth chuckled lightly knowing the battle was won. He kissed his way up to her cheek and then ran his tongue over the curving lines of her ear.
“Yes, we can, Baby. No one has to know.” He returned to placing kisses along the slim, white column of her throat. Her pulse raced against his lips, pounding a fast cadence and telling him she felt the attraction as strongly as he did.
His hand found her knee, and he let his fingers begin to inch their way under the material of her skirt and up her bare thigh. She felt like heaven, her skin soft and warm stretched over trembling muscle. All he could think about was stripping her out of the sundress and kissing every inch of her body. He’d bring her to the edge of ecstasy then he’d bury himself deep inside her, knowing she would come screaming his name.
“Hmm. Yeah,” she encouraged. “Ooh, I like that. Do it again. No one has to...” Katie’s spine suddenly stiffened. Supple muscle tensed beneath his fingertips. Her hand dropped to cover his where it rested on her thigh, to halt his quest just short of the grail.
Damn. Damn. Damn.
He looked into her eyes, and he sure didn’t like the confusion he saw. Where had the passion gone? “Katie? What’s wrong?”
“No one has to know,” she repeated with a quiver in her voice. Tears pooled in her eyes. He kissed away one that fell from her lash to her cheek.
“I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.” Seth tried to claim her lips again.
Katie pulled away and started to cry in earnest. He’d never been so confused in his entire life. “What did I do wrong?” Suddenly, he thought he understood her resistance. “God, Katie, I really don’t want to leave, but I can run to the store and get some condoms if you’re not on the pill.” Funny, he hadn’t even worried about protection, hadn’t really even considered it up to that moment. Unfortunately, his statement only seemed to make her more upset. She cried hard enough to shake on his lap. “C’mon, Katie. What’s wrong?”
“I’m... ashamed of myself.”
“Is that all?” He’d always thought shame was overrated. Seth tried to nuzzle her neck again, to coax her to respond, but she put both hands on his chest and pushed him away. Her skirt tangled around her legs as she struggled to stand. Seth held her firmly in his lap. “I don’t understand.”
“Let me go! I know you don’t understand. You’ve probably never been ashamed of anything in your whole life. We... we can’t do this! We can’t!” She fought to break his grasp.
Seth released her and sighed, realizing he’d never understand women. Katie obviously wanted him as desperately as he wanted her. Why fight it? Then it dawned on him. Perhaps she was frightened. “If it’s because you’re a virgin—”
“Who told you that?” Katie snapped as she stood up and kicked off her sandals, sending each in turn flying across the room. One of them knocked a stack of CDs off their dresser perch. They hit the floor and the sound of the clatter filled the room. She turned back to him, clenching her fists at her side. “Who in the hell told you that?”
“No one,” he calmly responded wi
th a shrug. “I just... guessed. I mean, the way you act—”
“I’m not a virgin!” Her hands flew to her mouth as if horrified at letting her private life slip out.
“Then what’s the problem?” The whole situation baffled him. He could understand her reticence if she was inexperienced and afraid, but since she was neither, Seth figured they should simply give in to their obviously strong mutual attraction.
“You don’t have a clue, do you? I gave my word to your father. My word! I might not have been looking him in the eye at the time, but when I signed that agreement, I... I promised to keep our relationship business. You should be thanking me. If we... if we... You’d lose your money.”
Seth scratched his head in confusion. “I wouldn’t lose anything. We wouldn’t have to tell anybody.”
“But I’d know!”
His confusion wasn’t getting any better. He stared up at her from where he still sat on the floor, still wanting her, still needing to touch her. “I don’t get it. You want me. I want you. There’s not a soul around...” He knew he wasn’t saying the right things, so he tried again. “I want you, Katie. Trust me, it’ll be... wonderful. And no one has to know.”
Katie pulled the ribbon from her hair and shook her head. Her long tresses spilled around her shoulders. “I’d know, and I’d be ashamed of myself!” She grabbed the truck keys resting on her bed and hurled them at him. “Go home! Just go away!” She ran to the bathroom and slammed the door.
Seth could hear her crying and felt like a cad; he just didn’t have the faintest idea why. “I sure as hell didn’t do anything wrong.” Rising to his feet, he walked over to the door and knocked softly with the back of his knuckles. “Katie? Are you okay?”
“Go away!” She started to cry louder.
He laid his palm on the door, wishing he could touch her, wishing he could soothe her. “Can’t we talk about this?” He couldn’t stand to see her in so much pain—especially since he clearly caused her distress. The whole situation seemed a bit absurd, but Katie’s weeping was too hard for him to listen to.
