by James, Sandy
“Please just... just go away!”
Seth put his fingers to his forehead and massaged the dull ache. His body was still tense with desire as the beat of his heart echoed in his ears. But every instinct told him to get the hell out of there before he fell in too deep. Katie’s restraint might be the only thing standing between him and a lifetime of abject poverty.
He couldn’t leave her. Not like this.
Seth rested his forehead against the door. “Katie? Please, Boss. C’mon. Come out and talk to me. I promise not to touch you. I promise. I just need to know you’re okay.”
After a few moments, he heard her sniffle and then blow her nose. “You promise?” Then she sniffled again.
“Cross my heart.”
The door squeaked opened a crack, and Katie peeked out. Seth took a few steps back, and she opened the door the rest of the way. She held a wad of tissue and her mascara had streaked, rimming both of her eyes in black.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded slightly and gave a small hiccup in response. Walking over to the bed, she sat on the quilt and pulled her legs up under her skirt.
Seth sat down on the desk chair and stared at her, still wanting her.
“What? What are you staring at?” she asked.
“You look like a raccoon,” he replied with a small chuckle.
Katie ran her fingertip under her eye and stared at the black smudge left behind. “Gee, thanks.” She dabbed at her eyes with the wad of tissues. “First, I’m a virus. Now, I’m a raccoon.”
“A virus?”
Katie breathed a weary sigh. “Never mind.” Her face grew serious. “Seth, we can’t do this. I can’t do this.”
Seth nodded. “I’ll behave.” He wasn’t entirely sure he could keep the promise for too long, but it sounded sincere enough to keep from scaring her away. All he really wanted to do was join her on the bed and peel off that pretty pink dress.
What the hell is wrong with me?
While he would admit to an indiscretion or two in his life, Seth had never let lust rule his behavior. Never. But he felt himself becoming aroused, felt his groin tighten, felt his heart pound again at the mere thought of running his hands over Katie’s tight little body.
“Don’t you understand?” Katie’s words drew him back from his thoughts.
“No. Why don’t you explain it to me?”
“Seth, I don’t have much in this world, but I have my self-respect. If something happened between us... I would hate myself because I’d be breaking a promise.”
Self-respect. Such a foreign concept. Had he ever had any self-respect? Had he ever done anything that he would be proud of when he was old and gray?
The Old Man had. Sterling had built a formidable dynasty from a small family business. He’d discovered a love for horses and proceeded to apply his typical Midas touch. Through reading Katie’s horseracing magazines, Seth had learned more about his father than he ever had by talking to the man. There were pictures of his high-profile horses. There were interviews about how much racing meant to him. There was an article mourning his death.
Seth had to squash his envy. Sterling had been a success in every aspect of his life—businesses, hobbies, finding the love of his life. Sterling had succeeded at everything he’d ever done.
Except raising his son.
Seth suddenly realized how much he must have embarrassed his father, how much his recklessness must have hurt the Old Man. Between the car accidents, the speeding tickets, and Seth’s penchant for dating selfish starlets, Sterling must have felt like he had failed at being a parent.
“Seth?”
He was too angry at himself to talk to her. He was too angry at her, too.
Katie hadn’t wanted him, she’d wanted Ross Kennedy. Remembering the kiss he’d seen her give the lawyer, jealousy made Seth’s stomach knot.
He felt something for Katie, something more than lust, more than desire. But she didn’t return his feelings. She might have responded to his kisses and caresses, but when the time came to follow through, she had turned him down. She probably thought Matlock was the better man. And why wouldn’t she? Ross Kennedy didn’t demolish expensive cars and whisper sweet nothings into the ears of women who didn’t really matter to him.
The passion Seth felt for Katie was smothering, driving him to forget what should have been the most important thing in his life—his fortune. Hell, he wouldn’t ever earn it back if he didn’t get his act together.
Shame nagged at him, nibbled at him from every angle. He hated the way it felt, hated the way it weighed on his thoughts, and hated that it kept him from simply doing as he pleased.
He was ashamed he’d almost betrayed his father. Even though the man was gone, Seth knew he still held the power to disappoint Sterling Remington—just as he had always disappointed him.
Well, this time would be different. This time he wasn’t going to screw it up. This time he’d make his father proud.
Seth glanced back at Katie. She still stared at him with those intense green eyes.
She was the problem. If she wasn’t so close. If she wasn’t so beautiful. If she wasn’t so desirable.
If she wasn’t interested in another man.
Despite his best intentions, despite wanting to do this job right, Seth couldn’t shake what he felt for Katie. But if he was going to follow through and make Sterling proud, he had to let her go. Wouldn’t that be what was best for her?
Why did it have to be Matlock? The man was a walking example of everything Seth had wanted to avoid in life. A time-consuming job. A straight-laced, starched-collared approach to life. There wasn’t an ounce of fun in him. How could he let Katie go knowing she’d probably run straight into the arms of Ross Kennedy?
Seth had to succeed at this job; he had to finally do something for his father. Seth would do his time, and he would leave Katie Murphy alone. No matter how much it hurt.
“Seth?”
His clipped words came out harsh. “Take me back to my room.” He needed to put some distance between them, and the best way to do that was to push her away.
Even if it broke his heart.
Chapter 15
“Is it really that bad?” Samantha asked Chris as they ate breakfast in the track kitchen.
“Oh, yeah,” he answered with a vigorous nod. “They’ve been fighting like cats and dogs for the last month.”
Sam shook her head in frustration. Katie had been miserable for weeks, but for the first time since they became friends, Katie wouldn’t share her problems with Sam. She knew the fishing expedition might be a little... immature. But Sam was concerned about Katie. She’d never seen her so unhappy—even after Mike Knight’s infidelity. “What’s the main beef?”
“You know, that’s what I can’t seem to figure out. It’s like anything sets them off. If Katie’s cell phone rings,” Chris snapped his fingers, “that starts a squabble.” He took a sip of his orange juice. “I think Spun Gold is most of the problem.”
“Katie’s colt? She’s having trouble training him?”
“She isn’t training Gold. The colt won’t let anybody but Crash drive him.” Chris stopped, shook his head, and scoffed. “Crash. Katie doesn’t even call him that anymore. It’s always ‘Seth.’ What’s up with that? Hell, even I call him ‘Seth’ now.”
Sam considered that for a moment. “I’ve been working on that one, but nada so far. So Gold won’t let Katie near him?”
“Oh no, he’ll let her near him. She can put on his equipment, bathe him, turn him out and whatnot. But if Katie or I sit in the jog cart, he won’t budge an inch. He nickers every time Seth walks in the barn. Trains like a dream for him. Seth treats him like a damn pet.”
“No wonder Katie is pissed.” Sam squirted some mustard on her scrambled eggs and home fries before she squeezed some over her sausage patties for good measure. Chris wrinkled his nose. “I’m pregnant. Get over it. How are you handling it?”
He stared at the paper cup he
held between his hands. “I’m ordering my colors this morning.”
“Chris, that’s great. Your own colors.” Then Samantha realized the significance. “You’re thinking of leaving Katie?”
He shook his head but wouldn’t look at her. “Not right away. But if... Well, if things stay the way they are...” He shrugged. “Who knows? If I have my colors, I can always get a horse or two on my own.”
“At least give them a chance to work it out. Katie would hate to lose you,” Sam said hoping to convince Chris not to do anything rash. He was like a brother to all of them, and Katie depended on Chris as her second. At least she had until Seth arrived. “He’ll be gone at the end of the season.”
Chris drained the rest of his juice, crumpled the paper cup, and pitched it in the trash can. “Swish. Two points”
Sam shook her head and chuckled. Men. They never really grew up.
“You know I don’t wanna leave Katie’s barn, Sam. I love working with her. She’s the sister I never had. But this season is getting to be way too long. And it’s only the beginning of June.”
“I understand.”
Chris stood up and pushed his chair to the table. “I need to head out. I’m meeting Seth. He wanted to go with me when I order my colors.”
Sam nodded. “Pick something nice, Chris. I don’t suppose you’ll use maroon and gold.” She gave him a lopsided smile. “It’ll be weird not seeing you warm horses up in Brian’s old colors. You grew up so fast.”
He laughed as he headed to the exit.
As she watched him leave, Sam pondered Katie’s predicament. Trying to make sense of the information she had, Sam was still at a loss. It was like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle with several pieces missing.
Katie obviously felt something for Seth, and it was just as clear the man harbored feelings for her. Sparks flew whenever they were together. Sam had seen the lingering glances, heard the forlorn sighs. But somehow, some way that attraction had been replaced with animosity. “And I don’t know why,” she whispered.
The most confusing part was where Ross Kennedy came into the whole mix. Katie had claimed a horse for him, and Taylor O’Riley had been hopping mad he’d lost College Mascot to her stable for fifteen-thousand when she’d turned Mascot into a victorious thirty claimer in less than a month.
Ross was at the track for the big win. The instant Katie stepped out of the van, he’d picked her up, swung her in a circle, and planted a kiss on her in front of everyone gathered near the winner’s circle. Sam had been there, closely watching Seth’s reaction to the kiss. If there had been any doubt in Sam’s mind that Seth had feelings for Katie, that hesitation vanished once she saw the darkness spread over his face when Ross kissed Katie. The air had been thick with tension.
With its customary speed, the gossip spread through the track that Katie had landed herself a rich new boyfriend. Sam was tired of hearing the speculations about Katie and Ross that floated so freely. She was tired of not knowing what was going on between Katie and Seth. And she was tired of her best friend shutting her out.
* * * *
“Red for the leg stripe,” Chris explained. The old man taking his order scribbled a few more words on the form. “And I want the ‘H’ on the forearms, not the shoulders.”
Seth watched as Chris carefully selected his colors, realizing the kid would have something that was his and his alone. An envious ache formed in the pit of Seth’s stomach. All he’d ever possessed was a well-known family name that he’d done little to deserve. He’d never felt any real allegiance to the Remington dynasty. Hell, he’d never really felt an allegiance to anything.
Once Chris placed his order and the two men were walking away from the shop, Seth suddenly stopped. “I need to go back.” Chris appeared confused at the statement. “Look, I just want to ask the guy a couple of things.” Seth pulled out his wallet and handed Chris some money. “Please go grab me a breakfast sandwich, some milk, and a banana. I’ll meet you at your truck. Then we can go get Gold for his qualifier.” Chris nodded and headed toward the track kitchen.
“You back so soon?” the old man asked when Seth came back through the door.
“Yeah. I’ve decided to order colors for myself.” Flipping through the book of designs resting on the counter, Seth considered several different color schemes and logos. Nothing seemed to call to him. Nothing seemed to inspire any kind of pride.
Suddenly he had a brilliant idea. “Did you happen to make Katie Murphy’s colors?”
“Sure did. Green with a white shamrock. Green stripe down each leg. Right?”
“You got it. Here’s what I want...”
* * * *
Spun Gold wasn’t in a cooperative mood when qualifiers began. Even Seth had problems controlling the stubborn colt as Chris took the bridle in hand and led Gold to the track for warm up. Seth figured part of the problem was that the horse had picked up on the nervousness of his driver.
It was the first time Seth had ever steered an animal around the Dan Patch oval, and he imagined the other trainers and drivers looked upon him as an interloper who had borrowed Chris’s helmet. He felt like a fish trying to fly and figured he might have made a big mistake in believing that he could ever belong to this world.
But the instant he entered the track and urged Gold into his pace, a feeling of rightness settled over Seth. Despite the fact he had never meant for it to happen, he felt as if he’d at long last come home.
He savored the beauty of the animal in motion and craved the feel of the dirt that hit his face with each stride Gold took. Seth loved how the rhythm of the powerful colt’s gait thrummed through him. Hell, he even loved the smell of the sweaty animals and the manure.
Seth loved it all—including the red-headed angel he battled daily.
He saw Katie leaning against the fence and caught her expression as he passed the paddock for his second lap. He could see the envy in her eyes. Spun Gold was her colt. Yet here Seth sat, jogging the chestnut through his warm up. It didn’t seem right, nor did it seem fair. Somehow, Seth knew he needed to make this better. Katie had been so unhappy since the night they had almost...
Almost what? Had sex?
No, it had been so much more than that. For the first time in Seth’s life, he realized it wasn’t about sex. This was more than just physical. Katie had touched him on a level of his heart he didn’t know existed, and that was why he now fought her so fiercely. The intensity of what Seth felt whenever he drew near Katie scared him to death.
And always lurking in the background was the damned Remington money. If Seth allowed the bud of what he felt for her to grow to full bloom, he would lose everything. He would disappoint his father. Again.
It was simpler to keep her at a distance—easier to fight Katie than to love her. Besides, Matlock waited in the wings. Ross would obviously make a more sensible match for her. Just because Seth was growing to love her didn’t give him the right to ruin her life. Katie deserved someone who could offer her more than a five-year disappearing act. And as much as Seth hated to admit it, Ross really seemed to care for her.
Yet the thought of Ross Kennedy putting his hands on Katie was enough to drive Seth insane. He’d never felt so possessive of anyone or anything in his whole life.
He steered Gold through the exit chute.
Katie grabbed the animal’s bridle and couldn’t help but smile at Seth’s beaming grin. She helped him unhitch the jog cart before they walked back to the paddock with the colt.
“Felt good, didn’t it?” She led the horse into the stall and attached a cross-tie. She’d never seen Seth looking so happy.
“Hell, yeah. Damn good. I see why you love this so much. God, I’d love to race.” Seth followed her into the stall and pulled the other cross-tie to clip on the colt’s race halter.
“It’s a lot harder than it looks.” They both turned to see Brian leaning on the gate and smiling at his own words. “What do I need to know before I take him out?”
Katie
and Seth started to talk at the same time.
“He needs to be under cover—” Katie began.
“No, you need to send him—” Seth disagreed as he turned to face her.
They quarreled for a few moments before a shrill, loud whistle pierced the air. They both stopped talking and turned to stare at Brian, the source of the sound.
“Enough! I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you two, but I need to know what to do with this colt,” Brian said as he pointed at Spun Gold. “You want him to qualify, don’t you?”
Katie nodded in deferment. As much as she hated admitting it, Seth knew Gold better than she did. He’d been the one who worked with the horse for weeks as he put in mile after mile of jogging and training, and she knew he should be the one to give the driver instructions.
Seth nodded back at her before he gave Brian his opinion. “Send him. Take him to the front and he’ll take you the rest of the way. And no whip. He’ll run if you whip him.”
Brian nodded. “Got it.” He started to walk away before he turned back with a somber frown. “You both need to get over whatever it is that’s causing all this... this friction. You’re making my wife nuts and pissing off Chris. Get it together. I’ll see you guys when they call his race.”
They watched in stunned silence as he walked away.
Katie stared at her boots, not knowing what to say. She wasn’t about to tell Seth what she felt for him, even though keeping it bottled up inside ate away at her soul a little more every day. She finally decided to make conversation to get past the uncomfortable moment. “Brian will give him a good trip, but remember Gold is only a two-year-old. You’ve done a good job training him, but he’ll likely need a couple more qualifiers before he’s ready.”
A smug smile spread across Seth’s handsome face. “He’s ready now. You can put him in the box to race next week.”
She adjusted some of Gold’s equipment, trying not to let Seth know just how much he could affect her with that smile of his. “You’re becoming a classic trainer,” she teased. “Way too overconfident and entirely full of shit. We’ll see how he does.” Shrugging, she added, “I hope you’re right.”
