by James, Sandy
He looked down at where her fingers brushed his wet shirt. “It’ll dry.”
“I don’t know what to do,” she finally confessed.
“Start by letting go. You can’t control everything. Just let go.”
Her problem here was the same one that plagued her in her own time. A control freak to the very end. “I don’t know how.”
His chuckle sounded so warm and calming. “It’s never too late to learn. You don’t have to decide anything tonight. We can get to know each other better, and maybe you can lay a few ghosts to rest. Are you still going to the dance with me?”
She nodded. “Thank you for the beautiful cloth. It’ll make a nice dress.”
He leaned in to press a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m sure it will. Think about what I’m offering you for a spell. You can give me your answer at the dance. And if you need more time…”
“No. The dance is perfect.” A deadline helped, giving her a reason to think everything through and make a choice. She owed it to Daniel not to make him wait forever.
Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he turned her back toward the boardwalk. “Let me walk you back.”
* * * *
James stepped outside to get some fresh air. At least that was the lie he told Li’l Jim—and perhaps himself—when he said he needed to get away from the bar for a moment.
He saw the couple return from the dark alley. Daniel reached for Susan’s hand and held on to it. They took their time strolling back to the saloon, looking every bit the happy, loving couple. Leaning back against the building, James folded his arms over his chest and waited for them.
Daniel led her to the wagon he’d parked close to the front door, turned her to face him, and pulled her into his arms. They talked softly, their voices lost to the racket coming from the Golden Nugget crowd. Fighting the urge to go and jerk her out of Daniel’s embrace, James glared at them through the one eye he could still open.
His heart hurt as much as his eye. Susan had made a choice. After Daniel had clocked him, she’d gone to help the rancher instead of her husband.
Husband.
Shit, what a mistake he’d made.
If he hadn’t been so angry, perhaps he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did. He shouldn’t have walked away from his marriage. He’d hated his life, not his wife.
They should have been able to work things through. What had driven them apart? Funny, but he was having a damned hard time remembering exactly why he’d wanted out of his marriage.
He still loved Susan, but she didn’t love him anymore. She’d found someone new, someone who was probably a hell of a lot better for her and a hell of a lot better to her.
When Daniel leaned in to brush a kiss over Susan’s lips, James had to close his good eye to control the swell of jealousy and envy. All he wanted to do was stomp over there, beat the daylights out of that rancher, and drag Susan away. Preferably to her room.
Daniel climbed into his wagon, and Susan simply stood there hugging herself for several long minutes, watching him go. As she finally turned to step back up onto the wooden boardwalk, she seemed to notice James for the first time. A small gasp escaped her lips. “Oh, my God. Your eye.” She came to stand before him and reached her slender fingers up as if to touch his face.
James flinched.
Tears pooled in her eyes. “You hate me so much you don’t even want me to touch you?”
She had it all wrong. He needed her to touch him, but he was afraid if she did, he’d make a fool of himself and beg her not to be with Daniel Miller.
A tear slid down her cheek. “You really hate me that much?”
“You let him kiss you.”
Her gaze cast downward at the boardwalk under her feet. “That’s none of your business.”
It damn well was his business.
James reached out, grabbed her wrists, and jerked her until she collided with his chest. Before she even had the chance to react, he covered her mouth with his. No sweet little kiss. No peck on the lips. James kissed her brutally, a kiss of total possession.
He gave her no choice, demanding her response. His tongue swept into her mouth, rubbing against hers until she hesitantly began to mirror his actions. Her arms rose, threading around his neck. Her fingers tangled in his hair. Her body sagged against his in the surrender he’d wanted.
Wounded pride roared through his mind, and just as suddenly as he’d pulled her to him, he broke the kiss and shoved her away.
Susan seemed so lost in a sensual daze that he almost grabbed her again to tell her how much he loved her. His pride wouldn’t allow it. He was going to walk away from this exchange with the upper hand. “Does he kiss you like I do, Suz? Do you melt for him like you do for me?”
Her brown eyes blinked several times as she stared at him. Such beautiful eyes. Then he saw the hurt sweep over her. Her bottom lip quivered, and he felt lower than dirt.
Reaching for her hand, James wasn’t surprised when she snatched it away. “Don’t you dare touch me!” Picking up her skirts, she let a wounded sob escape before she pushed her way into the bar. He turned to follow.
The crowd cleared as she ran right through the middle of the room, heading toward the stairs. “Susan! Wait!” James shouted after her.
At the top of the stairs, she turned back to him. Tears were streaming down her flushed cheeks. “I hate you.” Her voice was so soft he wasn’t entirely sure if he heard her or only read her lips. With a quick turn, she disappeared down the dark hallway.
Chapter 16
“That’s the last of the mugs to wash,” James said as he started gathering up the dirty glasses and set them on the enormous round tray.
Li’l Jim watched the man he had come to consider a son in the weeks they’d shared, wondering how he could make things better. He loved Susan, his Peanut, just as much. Watching the two of them struggling to keep their distance had become downright painful. The time had come to stick his nose where it probably didn’t belong.
Daniel’s pursuit of Susan only complicated an already dicey situation. While Daniel might be one of his closest friends, Li’l Jim had seen James and Susan working alongside one another. He’d seen the glances, the quick sorrowful looks when one thought the other wasn’t watching. He’d heard Susan’s forlorn sighs. He’d witnessed James’s overwhelming jealousy.
Li’l Jim knew in his heart they belonged together. Now he just needed to convince them and hope Daniel would forgive his interference.
Reaching deep under the bar to grab a bottle of the good whiskey instead of the watered-down hooch, he set it on the counter. “C’mere, boy.”
James looked up. “Pardon?”
Li’l Jim gestured him to the bar. “Put those down and come over here. Join me in a drink.” He lined up a couple of glasses and splashed a finger of whiskey into each of them. Grabbing one, he drank the liquid quickly, savoring the burning trail it blazed down his throat and the warmth that always filled his chest. Nothing tasted as wonderful as a good, aged whiskey. He nudged the other glass at James, hoping he’d follow suit.
“I’m not really much of a drinker.”
“Nonsense, boy. It’ll take the sting out of that shiner. Oowee, did Daniel clock you but good.” He snorted a laugh.
James lifted his hand to touch his already bruised eye, drawing a wince and a hissing intake of air. “Hurts like hell, but I still probably shouldn’t.”
“Go on now,” Li’l Jim encouraged, pushing the glass a little closer to James. “Put some hair on yer chest.”
James picked up the glass and stared at it for a moment.
Li’l Jim nudged his hand. “Drink it. Goes down real smooth.”
James took the glass and threw the drink back like a pro. Then he spent the next couple of minutes coughing. “Smooth? That stuff’s about a smooth as sandpaper.”
Splashing more whiskey into the glasses, Li’l Jim sipped from his refreshed drink. “Nonsense. Goes down like sweet momma’s milk.”
&n
bsp; Despite his lingering cough, James downed another glass of the whiskey.
Giving his bartender some time to let the strong drink work at chipping away the wall he’d built around him, Li’l Jim kept him occupied. “Tell me ’bout Chicago. Did’ya like living in a big city?”
He answered with a shake of his head. “I’d like to forget that place. In fact, I’d like to forget everything about Chicago, except…” He shook his head again and let his gaze wander to the staircase.
Li’l Jim matched James drink for drink as they talked about nothing of real importance. He simply waited for the whiskey to do its magic. After enough time had passed he felt the relaxing effects, he finally picked up his glass and the bottle and walked to a table. He pulled out a couple of chairs and nodded for James to join him. “Why do you wanna forget Chicagee?”
The responding shrug belied the pain in James’s eyes. Carrying his own glass, he walked a somewhat crooked line to the table and sat down hard on the chair.
Li’l Jim filled James’s glass again, glad the man didn’t seem to notice that his was now the only one that kept getting whiskey splashed into it. “Seems to me you’ve gotten used to River Bend. Plannin’ to stay on here? Gotta say, I thought you’d be movin’ on. Man like you, with the fancy way you speak and a college edgycation. Figured you’d be headin’ back to the big city.”
Throwing back his whiskey, James grimaced then relaxed as if his shoulder muscles had finally lost their tension. “Big shitties are overrated.”
“Shitties, huh?” He chuckled, pleased the alcohol had finally taken hold so he could ask the one question that had been haunting him for so long. “So you married to her or ain’t you?”
“You mean Susan?” He threw another pitiful glance to the second floor.
Li’l Jim snorted a laugh. “No, boy. I’m meaning the damn queen of Sheba. Is she your wife? Mind you, there’s money ridin’ on your answer.”
“Money?”
With a smile, Li’l Jim nodded. “Lots of money. Customers love a good bet. Hell, they bet who’s gonna win whenever you and the li’l lady quarrel. They bet on whether she’s gonna sing to them or to you.”
“To me? She shings to me?”
Li’l Jim couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. “For a man who went to college, you’re a blind fool. Of course, she sings to you. ’Specially them lovey-dovey songs.”
James frowned. “What elsh…do they bet on?”
Li’l Jim grinned at how slow the words fell from James’s mouth. The whiskey was definitely having its desired effect. “Whether Daniel Miller’s gonna marry her or if she’ll choose you.”
In one quick motion, James drank his refilled whiskey and slammed the glass on the bar. “What are the odds runnin’?”
“Favoring Daniel at the moment ’bout two to one, ’specially after the little show you and Peanut put on tonight. Is you or ain’t you married to her?”
James tried to fish around in his pocket for something and almost slid right off his chair. After some squirming, he pulled a ring out and held it up, squeezing it between his thumb and forefinger. He stared at the little gold band as if hypnotized by the shiny metal.
“That’s hers, ain’t it? You married her, didn’t you?”
James nodded.
Li’l Jim slapped his thigh and let out a whoop. “Yep. Just what I thought. You two act like an old married couple. So why’re you lettin’ her hang ’round Daniel?”
“She doeshn’t love me anymore.”
“Nonsense.”
“But shesh going to the damn dance with…him.”
Whacking the younger man hard enough on the back James almost dropped the ring, Li’l Jim demanded, “And what you gonna do about it?”
James gave an exaggerated shrug. “What can I do?”
“Snatch her back.”
The man actually scratched his head in drunken confusion. “What’cha mean?”
“You take her to the dance.”
James jammed the ring back in his pocket and reached for his glass, which Li’l Jim had just refilled yet again. “She’sh goin’ with…him.”
“Then you need to make sure she leaves with you.”
“I can’t even dansh. Not even dishco.”
“What in the thunder’s dishco?”
“Never mind.”
Li’l Jim stood up, pushing his chair back. “Enough self-pity. C’mon.”
A confused, bloodshot eye stared back at him.
“Get up. Get on your feet, boy. I’ll teach you to dance. Maybe not your dishco, but I can teach you to waltz proper like.”
“You’re kidding.”
A low, annoyed growl rumbled through Li’l Jim’s chest. “You wanna impress her or not?”
James seemed to think it over for a good, long time before he finally nodded.
“C’mere, boy. I’ll show you how to dance.”
* * * *
The muffled sounds woke Susan. There shouldn’t have been anyone in the bar. The last of the customers had left hours ago. Was Caroline up? Li’l Jim? What if James was still having pain from that awful black eye? What if he was sick? What if he had a concussion or something? Her heart started hammering.
A few more sounds of shuffling feet made her throw off her quilt. She sat up, grabbed her robe, and shoved her arms in the sleeves as she headed toward the stairs, not entirely sure of what she’d find.
Li’l Jim’s voice caught her ear before she hit the landing. “C’mon. Ain’t you got no rhythm? It’s one, two, three, one, two, three. Lead with that right foot. No, boy, your other right foot.”
Susan’s hand flew to her lips to stifle the laughter that swelled inside her when she saw them. James was dancing with Li’l Jim. At least they were doing something that resembled dancing.
James hated to dance. He always claimed he’d been born with two left feet, so he saw no reason to even try. His resistance forced her to take that damned ballroom dancing class alone. That sure hadn’t turned out the way she’d planned.
Why in the devil was he dancing with Li’l Jim?
She watched them for a few moments and realized something was wrong, something other than James’s usual lack of coordination. Her eyes darted around until they settled on a table that held one of the bottles of the good whiskey Li’l Jim hid from the customers. Two glasses sat by the nearly empty bottle.
Had they been drinking? She’d seen Li’l Jim enjoying his whiskey after closing time, but James never drank because he knew how much it bothered her. She supposed he didn’t really have to care about her feelings anymore.
Trying to brush aside her hurt, Susan watched the two men waltz around the open area of the bar. She caught their peculiar rhythm and couldn’t stop herself from humming along. Then “The Tennessee Waltz” started to spill from her lips.
The men didn’t stop dancing, but Li’l Jim did flash her a wink and a grin, his gold tooth shining in the light. James still seemed entirely occupied with concentrating hard on his feet. She descended the rest of the steps and moved to sit on the piano bench.
When she finished the song, Li’l Jim affected an awkward curtsy, and James finally glanced her way, throwing her a goofy smile. A lock of his dark hair had fallen over his forehead, and her fingers itched to brush it back in place. She curled her fingers into her palm to keep from reaching out for him.
“I danshed,” he proudly proclaimed.
“Danshed?” She couldn’t stop a giggle. The man was clearly plastered. His injured eye looked terrible, swollen and already turning the shade of red wine. She felt awful that James and Daniel had fought because of her.
James walked over to her, looking like some guy the cops had pulled over and asked to walk a straight line who failed miserably. Oh, yes. He was definitely drunk.
“I wanna dansh with you, Shuz,” he said. Then, with great ceremony, he bowed at the waist. Straightening, he held his hand out to her. Before she could reach for it, his eyes rolled back and he pitched for
ward, toppling on top of her.
Trying to balance two-hundred pounds of deadweight was more than her legs could handle. They both crashed to the floor with him sprawled on top of her. Looking around, she sought Li’l Jim. “A little help here?”
Li’l Jim laughed loud and long before he waddled over to them. “Let me give you a hand, Peanut.”
After a few moments, they wrestled James off Susan until he lay faceup on the sawdust covered floor. She couldn’t just leave him there. “We need to get him to bed.”
Staring down at James, Li’l Jim hitched up the waistband of his pants. “The man’s a lightweight. Can’t shoot whiskey worth a diddly damn.”
The two of them ended up grabbing James under his armpits and dragging him to his back room, leaving two long drag marks in the sawdust to mark their trail. After some pushing, pulling, and with very little cooperation from James, they got him on his cot.
Li’l Jim exited through the back door, and she could hear him climbing the spiral staircase. She sat down on the bed next to James and stared down at him.
Absentmindedly, she picked bits of sawdust out of his brown hair before smoothing her fingers over the gray at his temples she loved so much. She brushed the stray lock back where it belonged. Tears welled in her eyes as she realized what a mess she’d made of her life. Of their lives.
No matter what had happened, no matter how far apart they seemed to have drifted, she still loved him. With all her heart and soul. Waves of hurt and longing rushed over her, making her heart feel like fine crystal shattered against a wall. Closing her eyes, Susan squeezed tears out and felt them sliding down her cheeks.
Fight for him, her heart urged.
But he doesn’t want me anymore, her mind replied. He has Caroline now.
When she opened her eyes, she realized James was awake and staring at her. “Why are you crying, Shuz?”
She answered him with a curt shake of her head and tried to stand up. James reached out and grabbed her wrist. “Stay. Tell me what’s wrong.”
