by Erin Trejo
Leesa flinches. No, that’s not the word for it. She damn near leaps out of the truck at my accusation. Her mouth opens like she’s about to say more, but as soon as the tears start to fall down her cheeks, she scrambles out of the truck and walks toward the front. I climb out and do the same, watching as she lets herself into my mom’s house. As soon as I follow her in, my mom’s smile brightens.
“You finally have a boyfriend!” My mom says, clapping her hands together.
“No, this is Neo. Remember we talked about him? He’s going to take you to the doctor today.” I watch Leesa as she swipes at the tears on her cheeks.
“You’re crying. Oh, don’t cry, Lupe.”
My heart crumbles in my chest.
“How long has she called you that?” I ask quietly, needing to know.
“When she doesn’t remember me,” Leesa adds softly. She takes a deep breath and turns to walk out the front door. “The address is on the paper next to her purse.”
“Leesa!” She stops walking and turns to face me once more. “Come with us.” She shakes her head slowly but it’s the look in her eyes that kills me. I walk over slowly and cup her cheeks in my hands. This girl is turning out to be more than I thought she would be. I’m pulled to her and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s her compassion for my mom? Whatever it is, I can see she cares about my mom and I’m not going to push her away for that very reason.
“I’m a bastard. I don’t come around like I should. I don’t do what is expected of me as a son. I’m fucked up, Leesa. I can’t do this alone. I already know that. Please,” I nearly beg her. I can’t deal with this shit. I don’t know how.
“Okay.”
Chapter 10
Leesa
She’s in bed and resting after her appointment today. The doctor said she’s getting worse. It’s not just the memory issues, either. She has a spot on her lungs that may be cancerous. She didn’t know what we were even doing at the appointment to begin with. It gets harder and harder the more I watch her decline in health. It kills a small part of my heart knowing that one day she isn’t going to be here. Alzheimer’s sucks but I suppose it happens in life. Sadly, it’s a part of hers. Pulling the blankets up over her, I turn and head out of the room, closing the door behind me. My heart nearly stops when I see Neo sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I didn’t realize he was still here.
“She’s asleep. You can go.” He nods his head slowly before looking up at me. The red rimmed eyes are a dead giveaway that he’s been crying. “Are you okay?”
“Come sit with me,” he says gently, his tone nearly pleading. I walk over and sit next to him on the couch.
“Lupe was my sister. She died when she was six. I was supposed to be watchin’ her. My mom told us we could play outside but I needed to watch her. She would run off after anything. A ball, dog, cat – she didn’t care. I was older than her. I didn’t want my sister followin’ me around, you know?” I nod my head, but nothing could heal the hurt in his eyes. “She saw the neighbor’s dog run into the road and went after it. The truck didn’t have time to stop.”
I choke on a sob before reaching for him. His emotions are all over the place but I can feel the pain as it radiates off him. He rests his head on my shoulder as wetness drops onto my skin. A man broken is one of the most saddening, beautiful sights to behold.
“It’s okay. You were just a kid, Neo.”
“She never looked at me the same way. She was…different. Distant. Even as I got older, she was off. When I was old enough, I went to war.” His warm breath tickles my skin. I know this isn’t the time or place but something about Neo is drawing me in. Too bad I have to push him away. I hold him closely until he calms and pulls away from me.
“I called for a nurse. She will be here soon,” he says, wiping his face with his hands.
“Don’t be ashamed.”
He shakes his head and huffs out a laugh.
“I’m not. I’m pissed. I’m fucked in the head. I know my mistakes and there’s nothin’ I can do to change them now. I just need to keep my distance and not confuse her anymore.”
I watch Neo shove to his feet completely shocked at what he just said. He walks out the front door as I stand to my feet and follow. When I get out there, he’s standing with a cigarette between his lips, smoke billowing out.
“Is that what you always do?”
“What do you mean?” He doesn’t even turn to look at me. He just stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the porch rail.
“You hide from your problems?”
“Look who’s talkin’.”
“I mean it, Neo. You can’t run from this. Your mom is dying,” I tell him even as it breaks my own heart.
“She ain’t dyin’! What the fuck is with you? Huh?” Now he turns to face me, his eyes full of rage. I think I like this look on him better than sorrow.
“What’s with me? Are you serious right now? You haven’t dealt with your own past and now you are running from her future. What kind of son are you?” I snap. I lose control. When you have a parent who wants you and loves you, you stand by them. I know what the other side of that world feels like. I’ve never been wanted or cared for. He shouldn’t be doing this to her. To himself.
“You don’t know shit about my past! The fuck you think you are?” His anger rising to the surface.
I step into his space despite the fact that I can sense the danger in the air. Reaching up, I cup his cheek in my hand and stare into his eyes.
“I can see it, Neo. I can see the hurt in your eyes but I can tell you this. If you walk away from her and don’t fix this, she is going to die and you aren’t going to get a second chance. Love her. Let her love you and forgive each other for whatever hurt you both in the past. Don’t you think you both deserve that much?”
He pulls the cigarette from his lips, blowing smoke out of his nose before I lean in. Kissing him softly, I taste his tears, his regret, his sadness. I pull away just as quickly and run down the stairs and toward my front door. As soon as I’m inside I slam the door and lean against it.
“What are you doing, Leesa?” I ask myself. I’m nobody to either of them and I should have kept it that way. I reach up and hold my hand over my pounding heart before shaking myself out of this moment.
Heading to the bathroom, I start the shower and climb in. My day has been one from hell and I know tomorrow I have to have the money in the deposit box if I want to keep what’s left of my sanity intact.
As I wash myself, I feel a little bad for judging Neo the way I did. He didn’t deserve that, but at the same time, he needs to fix his mistakes. We all do. I snort out a laugh at that. Listen to me. I can’t fix my past no matter how hard I want to. The things that Ray did. It shouldn’t be such a big deal but to me it is. If what he has on me were to ever be leaked, I would be mortified. I know Ray has contacts all over the world. That’s probably why I’m still hiding behind the scenes working these odds and ends jobs. I can’t show my face in the real world if he ever decides to release those tapes.
With an angry sigh, I step out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel. Insistent knocking on my front door makes me roll my eyes. I don’t know why Maria doesn’t use the damn key I gave her.
“I’m coming! But you are an asshole for not using the key! I was enjoying a ho-”
“Enjoyin’ what?” Neo asks when I throw the door open and find him there. My heart leaps into my throat, my hair dripping a cool trail down my back. His eyes rake over my body twice before coming back to meet my gaze.
“I thought you were someone else. Did the nurse get there?” My response sounds more like rambling than anything else. Neo nods and steps toward me. The chill that was racing over my skin now heats from the look in his eyes.
“She got there,” he says never looking away from me. I keep backing up until my back hits the wall. Neo slams the door and continues stalking toward me. Heat races between the two of us when he moves quickly. The t
owel is yanked from my body and tossed to the floor. There is no sense in trying to cover myself now.
“What are you doing?” I ask nearly breathless and the man hasn’t even touched me.
“Somethin’ I shouldn’t be.” That’s his only response before he reaches for me. In seconds, my naked flesh is pressed against his cool leather cut. My nipples harden, Neo’s lips move up and down my neck. Chills race my body and not from the cold.
“You got thirty seconds to show me your room or tell me to get out,” he growls.
My pussy tightens, wanting him in ways I shouldn’t. He isn’t much different than Ray was. Maybe he is. In my head I want to believe that he is but I don’t know that for sure.
My mind is battling itself, and as if he can sense that, he pulls back and looks down at me. He’s trying to gauge my reaction to him but he can’t. “Whatever he did to you, I’m not him.” As if he could read my mind. I nod slowly and point down the hallway unsure if my words would even form if I tried.
Neo smirks and lifts me in his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist. He kisses me as he walks us down the hall and into my bedroom. His lips are soft, and fuck, do I want more of them. Instead, he places me on the bed and steps back to look at me. My heart races as his eyes move over me.
“Spread your legs,” his voice rough. I slowly part my legs, eliciting a smile before he moves toward me.
Kneeling on the floor at the side of my bed, he grabs my ankles and jerks me toward him. Neo throws my legs over his shoulders before he dives in. His tongue strokes and circles, flicks and rolls. Short strokes, long ones. My body is already trembling when his tongue enters me. The scruff of his mustache scraps my clit. I arch my back when he moves his tongue again. I want to reach down and grab him, pull him closer but the more he licks the further I fall.
“Neo! Oh fuck!” I tremble as I come. My body jerks but he doesn’t stop. His tongue roams over me, licking and sucking until my legs shake around his head. He slowly kisses my inner thighs before standing. When he leans down and kisses me, I can taste myself on his lips.
“Sleep. I’ll see you later.”
Chapter 11
Neo
I watched her eyes flutter after that orgasm. It was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever witnessed. I didn’t think a woman coming from my mouth could look as good as she did. Then I left her. Someone hurt her in the past and I know I’ll only hurt her in the future, so it was best to walk away.
“The fuck has you all pissed off?” Ransom prods as I fire shot after shot. The shooting range has become my savior the last few days. I’ve felt like I’m drowning in a world I know nothing about. My mom is dying. I’m slowly losing the last person I have of my real family.
“My goddamn life, Ransom. My life has me fucked in the head right now.” I fire off another round before he steps closer to me.
“What is it? What’s happenin’?” I shake my head and set the gun down on the counter in front of me before turning to face him.
“Mom has a spot on her lung. Doc thinks it’s cancer. Her Alzheimer’s is gettin’ worse. It’s a goddamn mess, brother.”
“Fuck, Neo! Why didn’t you say shit until now? You need time off?” I shake my head, pressing my thumb and forefinger into my eyes.
“I don’t know what the fuck I need anymore. I got her a nurse who comes in and stays with her now. One during the day, one at night. Somethin’ just doesn’t feel right about lettin’ her be there alone, but I don’t know that I can handle sittin’ there night after night either.” Ransom knows my history. He knows what happened when I was younger.
“Do what you need to do, brother. You know we all have your back,” he says, picking the gun up and firing a few shots. I turn on my heel and walk back toward the bikes when I see her.
“What are you doin’ here?”
“Would you believe self-defense?” Leesa wiggles her eyebrows at me. I shake my head with a slight smirk on my face.
“Not a chance in hell. You know karate, remember?” I tease her. Leesa giggles, lighting up her whole face.
“I am taking shooting lessons. I want to learn how to handle a gun.”
Her words aren’t meant as sexual but they are to me. Since the other night I haven’t stopped thinking about getting her naked under me, but at the same time, I don’t want her to feel like that’s all I want from her. There’s more to her that I want to know but I can tell she isn’t going to be an easy one to break.
“I think you could handle my gun,” I tell her with a smile plastered on my face. Leesa’s mouth falls open, a gasp escaping her lips. I smile and step closer to her. “All you had to do was ask if you wanted some help.” I reach up and brush her hair behind her ear as she shudders.
“You just…well… I mean, I thought,” she mumbles.
“You’re tremblin’, darlin’,” I whisper the closer I get to her.
“You make my brain go insane,” she admits softly. I chuckle low in my throat letting my thumb run along her lower lip. Leesa watches me, her eyes wider than normal.
“Why do I want you so much?” I ask her, cocking my head to the side to look at her.
“You shouldn’t.”
“But I do. I think I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything else in my life.”
“I’d say you are crazy if that’s the case.”
I lean down, pressing my lips to hers. Feeling that shock that always jolts between us just proves my damn point. She’s not just something I want to fuck.
“What’s this?” Ransom breaks our moment.
I pull back but keep my hand on her face.
“This is none of your damn business,” I tell him.
“Not what it looks like,” he adds with a chuckle.
“I’m Leesa,” she introduces herself, moving around me to extend her hand. I let my hand fall to my side but in reality I want to snap his goddamn neck for fucking up my moment with her.
“I’m Ransom. You his new play toy?”
Her smile fades the minute those words leave his mouth. I can’t believe the fucker even said that shit. I spin to face him when he steps away from Leesa, his hands in the air in surrender. Bastard.
“I need to go.”
“He didn’t mean that shit,” I tell her.
“Yeah I did.” He laughs. Damn him.
“Either way, I need to go,” Leesa says, trying to step around us. I reach out and grab her wrist before giving Ransom the fuck you face. He laughs and walks off quickly. He should be thankful I didn’t lay his ass out right here.
“I will teach you,” I offer.
“I don’t think so.”
“Why do you need to shoot anyway? Who do you need protection from?” Her tension tells me that I hit the nail on the head. Someone threatened her? Who the fuck would do that? How does she of all people have any enemies?
“It doesn’t matter. I just want to learn. This is a dangerous area. You never know what might happen,” she answers with raised eyebrows.
I watch her. No, that’s not what she’s doing here.
“Liar.”
“What?”
“I said liar. You’re standin’ here lyin’ to my face. Why would you do that? Do you think that I can’t find out if I want to?”
“I think you should mind your own business. You don’t know anything about me, and if you think you can find out, you’re dead wrong. Leave me alone, Neo.”
Leesa storms past me toward the range as I run my hand over my hair. Heading back to the bike, I spot Ransom.
“How’s your little piece of ass?” he asks as I pick up my helmet and slip it on.
“Fuck off.”
“She part of your problem?”
“She’s the reason I got blue balls, brother. She lives next door to my mom.”
“No shit? And you ain’t fucked that yet?”
I rev my bike up but something in the back of my mind says that this is all wrong. Letting her stay here and learn how to shoot with a stranger? I
don’t even know what she needs to learn for anyway. I’m aggravated as I pull out of the parking lot and out onto the road. I head back toward the clubhouse to make sure everything is running smoothly. Visions of her run through my head the entire time.
Once we reach the clubhouse, I park and climb off my bike. Ransom isn’t far behind me chuckling like the bastard he is. When I reach for the door, I flip him off over my shoulder with my free hand. He just laughs harder.
“Why you lettin’ that girl get you all fucked in the head?” He asks as we walk in.
“I don’t know. I could have fucked her senseless the other night but I didn’t. I walked, brother.”
“You walked away from that?” His voice full of disbelief. When I stop at the bar, Henley his old lady, finds her way over, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Walked away from what?” she repeats, beaming up at me.
“Pussy. He walked away from pussy,” Ransom tells her. I grab the beer that’s set on the counter in front of me, taking it down in one pull.
“You two are disgusting,” Henley remarks before walking away.
Ransom laughs but I don’t think this shit is all that funny. In fact, I’m now a little more than curious about the woman who works next door and spends more time with my mom than I do. Catching my attention might not have been her first priority but she did it, and now I’m going to find out all I can about Leesa.
Chapter 12
Leesa
I wink at the guy sitting in front of me, shoving his drink in his direction. He smiles and nods, tossing some cash on the counter that I quickly pick up. The night has gone on and on, feeling like it’s never ending. I wish it would be over already. I left the money at the drop location as always, but I haven’t heard from Ray. That thought alone makes my stomach churn.
“You okay tonight?” Maria asks, bumping my hip with hers.
