Hollowland

by Аманда Хокинг

  I saw her. Near the brick walls surrounding the quarantine, a heavy chain link cage had been set up. I’m assuming it had always been there, because I don’t know where they would’ve gotten fencing just for her. It wasn’t very big, smaller than our trailer, but it was a lot larger than the dog run we’d had for our collie when I was a kid. Barbed wire ran along the top, in case Ripley decided to climb out.

  A small crowd had gathered around, mostly young kids, and Ripley paced the cage back and forth, roaring unhappily.

  “Ripley!” I wanted to rush to her, but because of the crowd of people, I settled for walking quickly.

  As soon as she heard me say her name, her ears perked up, and she looked at me and roared. She stood up on her hinc legs, pressing her front paws on the fence, and swished her tail.

  I put my hands on the fence, sticking my fingers through the holes, and she bowed her head, rubbing it up against them. It was the first time I had ever really pet her, and she nuzzled up against the fence, purring.

  They had taken the chain off from around her neck, and when I saw the thick, chafed ring it left on her skin, I felt guilty for not taking it off sooner.

  “Is this your lion?” a little boy asked in an awed tone.

  “No. Ripley doesn’t belong to anybody,” I said, then realized the irony of my statement when I looked at the cage holding her. I swallowed hard, but Ripley just kept rubbing against the fence, her course fur brushing against my fingers. “What is she doing here?”

  “She’s a zombie killer,” Bishop said, and I turned to see her standing behind us. “They just brought her in a few hours ago. They saw her attacking zombies, and they thought they could use her. She came with you?”

  “Yeah,” I nodded and looked back at Ripley. She stood there, staring at me with her big golden eyes, and swished her tail.

  “She’ll be a great asset here,” Bishop said, then added for my benefit, “They’ll take care of her.”

  Ripley didn’t need anybody to take care of her. She was the most badass thing alive, but I didn’t say that. I just scratched the side of her head when she rubbed it against the cage. She must’ve really missed me, because I’d never seen her so happy to see me before.

  “She’s a really good cat.” Harlow came up next to me to pet her, too. “She deserves to be treated good.”

  “I’m sure she is, and I’m sure she will,” Bishop replied, smiling. “But lunch is ready, and we should all eat.” She raised her voice, speaking to the crowd around us. “Everyone, lunch is served!”

  The people started dispersing, heading to the mess hall, and Harlow stopped petting Ripley and took a step back. Bishop lingered for a moment longer, then went with the group. I stayed at the fence, feeling like it would betray Ripley somehow if I just walked away.

  “She really is safe in there, you know.” Lazlo leaned against the fence next to me. Ripley eyed him for a second, then continued rubbing her head against the chain link. “You should find comfort in that.”

  “She doesn’t belong in a cage.”

  “She’s spent her whole life in cage,” Lazlo countered. “Until the past few weeks. She doesn’t really know the difference.”

  “She knows,” I insisted.

  “We’re all in a cage, anyway,” Lazlo gave a derisive look around.

  “It doesn’t mean we belong here, either.”

  “Are you guys coming or what?” Harlow asked. She had walked a few feet away from us, and she waited impatiently.

  “Come on.” Lazlo took my hand in his, and I let him.

  He coaxed me away from Ripley’s cage, and when I looked back at her, she’d flattened her ears and looked confused. We walked around a trailer, out of her sight, and she roared sadly once.

  A giant green canvas tent served as the mess hall. At least four or five hundred people were seated at picnic tables or waiting in line for a long buffet of food. I hadn’t been around this many people in a long time, and it was almost overwhelming.

  Lazlo saw my deer-in-headlights reaction and squeezed my hand. Harlow adjusted to the situation better than I did and had already grabbed a thin metal tray from the end of the buffet. Lazlo and I stood behind her in line.

  I let go of his hand and got a tray. Most of our choices were of the vegetable variety, but that was fine by me. After seeing the way zombies tore into flesh, my appetite for meat had gone way down. I got a few tomato slices, cooked carrots, and some kind of weird freeze dried rice, and then went to find a seat at table.

  I ate without saying much, and Harlow started a conversation with a woman sitting across from us. She was here with her niece and a boy they’d found along the way. She pointed at the little boy who had been so awed by my relationship with Ripley, and he hurried over to sit by us. He tried talking to me, and when I only muttered responses, Lazlo made excuses for me.

  An excited sound welled through the tent. Pvt. Tatum and a few of his friends walked in, and people immediately flocked to them. Lazlo’s fame became insignificant. The real rock stars here were the soldiers, as it should be.

  “I’ll be right back.” I got up and pushed my tray away.

  “What?” Lazlo gave me a confused look but didn’t follow when I walked over to Tatum.

  I shoved gently through the people gathering around them. Tatum saw me coming, and his expression varied between bemused and annoyed. On the positive side, he parted a few people so it’d be easier for me to get to him.

  “You seem to be adjusting well,” he smiled.

  “Yeah, I’m adjusting great, thanks,” I said, brushing it off as politely as I could. “Did you hear anything about my brother?”

  “You know, I’m actually off duty right now.” Tatum continued with his smile and gestured to his apparel. He had dressed down to a green tee shirt and tan pants. With his helmet gone, his eyes weren’t hidden in the shadows, and I could see something mischievous in them. “Well, as off duty as a soldier a can get.”

  “I know, and I appreciate that, but I’m not asking you track him down this second,” I said. “I’m just asking if you know if he’s here or where he might be.”

  “I was gonna come find you later.” He ran a hand through his crew-cut blond hair. “Come here.”

  “What?” My heart dropped.

  “Just c’mere.” Tatum grabbed my arm, not gently but not enough to really hurt, and pulled me away.

  My mouth felt dry, and my heart pounded so fast, it hurt. My feet didn’t really seem to want to cooperate either, and I welcomed him dragging me along. I looked over my shoulder just before he led me out of the tent. Lazlo had gotten up from the table in some gesture to protect me, but I just shook my head.

  I didn’t want him barging out here and preventing Tatum from telling me something. Whatever he wanted to say, he wanted to do it in private, because even his army buddies weren’t following us.

  “What?” I demanded, pulling my arm back when I felt like we’d gone far enough. “What’s going on?”

  “I have confirmation,” Tatum said hesitantly. “Your brother’s here. But you can’t see him.”

  – 18 –

  Intense relief flooded over me, and I wrapped my arms around myself to keep from visibly shaking. Up until the second he said my brother was here, I had been convinced he would tell me Max had died.

  “What? Why the hell can’t I see Max?” I asked, relieved that I kept the tremble out of my voice.

  “Keep your voice down,” Tatum looked back over his shoulder, but nobody was around us. “I brought you out here so you wouldn’t make a scene.”

  “Why would I make a scene?”

  “I’m not supposed to tell you anything.” He lowered his voice and leaned in closer to me.

  “Why not? What’s going on?” I demanded.

  “I don’t know.” Tatum shook his head. “Whatever’s going on with your brother, it’s very classified. He came in the middle of the night on a truck with officers and doctors, but no other civilians. Nobody I know has
seen him, and they got very uptight when I started asking about him.”

  “But he’s alive?” I rubbed the back of my neck and looked away from his intense stare. The wound on my hip tingled, like some kind of Tell Tale Heart reminder.

  “As far as I know.” Tatum narrowed his eyes at me. My lack of bravado about hearing the word classified triggered something. “Do you know what’s going on with your brother?”

  “How could I know?” I tried to return his scrutiny evenly. “He’s locked up, like a prisoner even though he’s an eight-year-old little boy! I have no idea what’s happening to him!”

  Tatum straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest, the sleeves of his shirt tightening on his biceps. By his stern expression, I knew he didn’t believe me, but I didn’t know what he made of it. He stared at me for a moment, and I swallowed hard. I knew that if I wanted to see my brother, I had to have Tatum on my side.

  “Is he infected?” Tatum asked finally.

  “No,” I shook my head but didn’t say more.

  “You better not lie to me about this,” he warned me. Even though he was probably only a year or so older than me, he was tall, broad, and rather imposing. “I don’t want any of these people in here getting sick because of some kid.”

  “No, he’s not… he can’t get anybody sick,” I said as carefully as I could. “I’m just trying to protect him, and I can’t do that if I can’t even see him.”

  “I can look into it more.”

  “Look into it more?” I scoffed. “I made it all the way here, and you’re gonna try to look into it? I’ve gone all the way across the country, rescued a lion, escaped a cult, killed marauders, and fought dozens of zombies with my bare fricking hands! And you’re gonna look into it?”

  Immediately after saying it, I felt guilty for sounding so ungrateful. It wasn’t that I didn’t value all Tatum’s help, both as a solider and searching for Max. It just was so frustrating to know that I was so close, and still so far away.

  Tatum smiled at my outburst, and maybe that was a good thing.

  “I like a girl who’s not afraid to punch a zombie,” he smirked. I cocked my head at him, unsure of what he was getting at, and that just made him smile more. “Calm down.” He leaned in closer to me, his voice barely above a whisper. “I will get you to see your brother. Just give me time.”

  “Okay,” I said, a little taken back by his assurance.

  “Now, if it’s okay with you, I’m gonna go eat my lunch.” Tatum raised an eyebrow at me, as if really checking for my approval about eating, so I smiled sheepishly and nodded at him.

  He backed away, going into the tent, but I stood outside, my mind racing. I looked up at the concrete building looming behind the mess hall.

  Knowing that Max was in there was the most maddening thing in the world. He was so close, but he was locked up too tightly for me to see him. I wasn’t even supposed to know he was alive.

  Lazlo and Harlow hurried out a minute later to find out what happened with Tatum, but I was vague on the details since I didn’t want to get him in trouble. Max was alive, and really, that was all that mattered. I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders, but not completely. I still had to figure out how to see him and what to do if I didn’t like what I saw.

  When we got back to the trailer, Harlow found a deck of cards in one of the kitchen drawers, and Lazlo insisted on teaching us how to play poker. Eager to learn, Harlow sat at the table across from him.

  I would’ve done just fine without ever knowing the difference between a full house and a royal flush, but I had nothing better to do. Until Tatum came back with more information, I had time to kill.

  Harlow eventually grew bored with the game and went to the smaller bedroom to try on her clothes and take measurements. The next day she had plans to meet with Bishop and start at the little sweat shop they had here.

  Lazlo shuffled the cards with unnecessary flair, and I leaned back on the couch, my feet propped on the cushions.

  “This feels so weird,” I said.

  “What does?” Lazlo asked.

  “Just relaxing, hanging out. In a home-like area. We have curtains and carpet and electricity. And cards.” I looked around and exhaled. “It’s just so… unnatural.”

  “Yeah, I guess it is,” he laughed. “But it’s kinda nice, though, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah,” I shrugged. “It’d be nicer if Max were here. Then I could feel like I could really relax.”

  “You’ll see him soon. I mean, he’s right here. It can’t be that hard to see him.”

  “You would think so,” I sighed, picking at a spot on my shirt.

  “Until then, we have this really nice place.” His voice changed, taking on an exaggerated nonchalance, so I looked up at him. He wouldn’t meet my eyes, staring intently at the deck cards, and his smile looked forced. “A nice little home, with… a nice bedroom in back.”

  “Oh.” I rolled my eyes. That’s what he was getting at.

  “I’m just saying that there are two bedrooms, and that master bed is pretty big,” Lazlo continued, peeking up at me to see how I was responding. “It’s plenty big for two people.”

  “It’s not that big.”

  “It’s not the biggest ever, but…” He trailed off and sighed heavily. Looking up at me, his dark eyes were a mixture of wounded and confused. “What’s so bad about sleeping with me?” The instant he said it, his expression faltered. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant… you know. Same bed. Sleeping, with actual sleeping.”

  “I know what you meant.” I picked up a Joker that had slipped out of the deck of cards and twirled it around the table. I needed to occupy myself with something.

  With a sudden flourish, he splayed the cards out on the table. He flipped them all face down, and then sliding his hand across, he flipped them all face up. He had a showman’s hand, and he smiled at me, sad and hopeful all at once.

  “I’m laying all my cards on the table,” Lazlo grinned at his own bad joke, and I returned it uneasily. “I like you.” He paused, and when I didn’t say anything, he went on. “Kind of a lot, actually.”

  My pulse quickened in the way only he seemed to be able to make it, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. Everything inside me froze up and stopped. Too much had happened for me to ever consider really liking someone again or having a normal life.

  These things just weren’t possible anymore, and I wanted to explain that to him, to make him see that this didn’t have anything to do with how I felt about him. We couldn’t happen.

  Instead of saying any of that, I fought to keep my breathing even and looked down at the table.

  “Remy, what’s going on with us?” Lazlo asked quietly when I didn’t say anything.

  “Do you really wanna know?”

  “Depends on what the answer is,” he admitted.

  So I didn’t answer. I turned my head to look out the window behind the couch. The curtain obstructed most of my view, so I lifted it a bit. The sun had started setting, and the sky above the trailers glowed pink and purple above us. Lazlo took this as my response, and he sighed.

  “I guess I’ll take the couch tonight,” he muttered, getting up.

  “No, you don’t have to do that,” I shook my head. “I can take the couch.”

  “I can take the flipping couch.” He grabbed the deck of cards off the table and threw them in a kitchen drawer, slamming it shut.

  “No, I’m the one having an issue.” I slid off the couch and stood up, trying to calm him down. “I should be the one to sleep on the couch.”

  “You don’t always have to do that!” Lazlo snapped at me.

  “Do what?”

  “That!” He gestured to the couch as if it’d mean something to me. “You don’t always have to be the tough guy, okay? I am the guy, here. I can be a gentleman sometimes.”

  “This isn’t about being tough or chivalrous or whatever the hell it is you’re having a problem with.” I pulled a strand of
hair that had come loose from my bun. “I’m just trying to be…” I trailed off, not even sure what I was doing.

  “Strong,” Lazlo finished for me. “You’re always trying to be strong and isolated. And I get it. You can kick my ass, hands down. But we’re here now!” He spread his arms wide, referring to the trailer and quarantine as a whole. “Can’t you just let your guard down for a minute?”

  I squirmed and looked away.

  “Just because I offer to sleep somewhere-”

  He moved towards me, his mouth covering mine before I could finish. One of his hands went to the soft skin of my side, and when I started kissing him back, he squeezed slightly, sending warming tingles through me. His other hand was on my cheek, cradling it. My back pressed against the counter behind me, and he leaned into me, pushing me against it.

  I loved how desperately he kissed me. Nobody had ever kissed me like that before, like he couldn’t breathe without me. Butterflies swirled through me, and my heart hammered so hard in my chest, I was sure he could feel it. I felt weak all over, but I didn’t hate it.

  When he stopped kissing me, we were both panting, and he looked intently at me. His eyes had gone dark with passion. He pushed the hair from my face, and I was surprised to find that I had knotted my hand in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him tightly to me.

  “Are you okay?” Lazlo’s expression changed from heat to concern.

  “I…” I could barely catch my breath, and as much as I wanted to kiss him again, I was too scared to. “I need to take a walk.”

  “Oh.” Hurt flashed across his face, but he hurried to erase it and mask it with false indifference. He took a step back, so I could move. “Yeah. Sure.”

  “Sorry, I just…” I ran a hand through my hair and wouldn’t look at him as I slid by. “I need to get some air.”

  “No, I understand,” he lied.

  I pushed out the front door before I could say anything else awkward and stupid. With night falling, it had gotten significantly colder, especially after spending so many days in the desert heat.