One Tiny Secret

by Adam Kunz

  I moan to myself. Great, just great. This is the last person I wanted to have a freak-out moment in front of.

  “Yeah, I was just finishing up, actually,” I reply with a squinty-eyed glare. I rarely use the word “bitch,” but sometimes she makes me want to use it.

  After collecting the basket, the two drinks, and my phone, I attempt to make my way back to the bonfire without spilling a drop of beer. Easier said than done.

  I finally emerge from the trail back to the party. I shut off my phone’s light and carefully place it in my dress’s front pocket. The first thing I notice is that Janice and Phoebe are no longer where they were when I left. My eyes survey the crowd, but can’t find them anywhere.

  “I told them I’d be right back. Where the hell did they go?” I murmur.

  I set the two drinks down onto one of the empty kegs resting on the ground. With my back to the crowd of people, I feel someone’s presence right behind me. I can’t tell if the heat I’m feeling is from the bonfire or from the person’s body. I stiffen, but don’t turn around.

  “Whatcha got in your basket?” A deep and raspy voice asks behind me.

  It almost sounds familiar, so I spin around and am confronted with the face of a wolf. Well, a wolf mask. The irony is seriously starting to kill me. I can tell the person is smiling because the mouth of the mask is strained and curled up.

  “Can I help you?” I ask, looking the person up and down. He just stands there, which is kind of creepy. “Gunnar, is that you?” There’s still no answer. Well, I definitely know it’s a guy, not only because of the person’s height, but also because his red flannel shirt is shredded, revealing the most ripped set of abs I’ve ever seen…and I should know ripped because I attend all the swim meets at school. Those guys are freakin’ chiseled like crazy, but not like this guy.

  I go to step past him, but he moves to stand in front of me again. “Ha-ha, I get it. I’m Little Red and you’re the Big Bad Wolf. Very funny. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a party to get back to.”

  “So why didn’t you answer my friend request, huh?” the wolf asks in a normal voice as he removes his mask.

  “Parker!” I exclaim.

  I instinctively throw my arms around his neck and hug him since I haven’t seen him in years. His arms wrap around me too, and I relish the moment, but only for a second. Reality hits me like a sack of potatoes to the jaw, and all the negative feelings come pouring in from when he left without saying goodbye. Backing away slowly, the happiness leaves my face and I just stand there staring at him.

  “Well, that was short-lived,” he jokes, but I don’t laugh.

  “Sorry, that’s pretty much all the happy I had for you,” I state, but secretly, all I want to do is kiss him. Why does this have to be so complicated? Oh, yeah, that’s right. Because I’m so freaking stubborn.

  “Wow, that was a little harsh, but I probably deserve it.”

  “Damn right, you deserve it. What did you expect? Me to be all, ‘I forgive you, Parker?’”

  Oh, and for the record, it’s really hard acting like this when all I want is another hug from him. His arms felt so nice wrapped around me, but what he did to me was a dick move and shouldn’t be rewarded.

  “I’m sorry things ended the way they did, but—”

  “Ended? Is that what you call what happened? Because all I remember is having one of the best nights of my life at your graduation party and then waking up the next morning to find you gone. There were no phone calls, no texts, nothing.” He tries to talk, but I cut him off. “Then Phoebe tells me you’ve left to stay with your grandparents in California before starting school in the fall at UCLA. You were supposed to stay here and go to Blackburn, but I guess that didn’t happen.” Jamming my finger into his chest, I say, “I even dealt with Phoebe hating me to go to your prom, and then you just up and leave?”

  Wow, I’m really getting heated now. I grab my drink that’s resting on the keg and take a swig while Parker mulls over everything I just said.

  “I can explain,” he begins.

  Phoebe and Janice walk up, both laughing. If this isn’t perfect timing, I don’t know what is. I flash them both a smile, trying to cover up my true emotions.

  “Oh, I see you found, Parker,” Phoebe says in a teasing voice.

  “I guess you could say that,” I say, glancing over to Parker. His eyes are fixated on me, which makes me quite uncomfortable since Phoebe’s standing right there.

  “I was trying to tell you today at the store that he’d be here, Dani,” Phoebe explains. “He’s been talking my ear off about how he needed to chat with you about something.”

  “I’m sorry, Phoebe, but don’t you remember how this,” I say pointing back and forth from me to Parker, “almost ruined our friendship? How are you not losing your shit right now?”

  “I guess I just got over it. Besides, it’s not like you guys are going to start hooking up again or anything,” she says. I send her a confused look. “What? I’m right, right?”

  “I think we need to talk,” Parker says. The look on his face is serious. His teeth must be clenched since his jawline looks razor sharp.

  “I agree,” I hear Phoebe interject.

  After sending another confused look Phoebe’s way, I take Janice by the arm and lead her off to the side for some privacy. “Do you want to get out of here?”

  “Aren’t you going to at least talk to that guy first? Sounds like you two have some stuff to work out,” she comments, and I realize that if it’s that apparent to an outsider to the situation, maybe she’s right.

  “Are you sure you’ll be okay for a little bit while I talk to him? Actually, scratch that…it may be a lot a bit.”

  “Sure, take your time. It’s been nice catching up with Phoebe. She’s been introducing me to a whole bunch of people. I finally feel accepted,” she states with an overjoyed smile. “And it’s all thanks to you, Dani. So, thank you.”

  “I’ve so missed you, Janice,” I say, throwing my arms around her and giving her a light squeeze. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  I snatch my drink from the top of the keg. “Oh, and Janice, your beer is right here,” I say, pointing to the other cup sitting there. She nods with a smile.

  Parker comes to stand next to me as I take a sizable gulp of the beer in anticipation of the talk I’m about to have with him. Well, the one big gulp actually turns into me downing the entire drink.

  Wiping my mouth, I say, “All right, let’s talk.”

  Parker doesn’t say anything. He just starts walking away from the crowd and waits for me at the edge of the forest to catch up with him. He turns to look at me once I join him. His baby blue eyes glisten with the light from the bonfire, adding more punch to the smirk on his face.

  “Let’s go somewhere a little more private, okay?” he asks. His smooth, deep voice flows over me and puts me more at ease.

  “Sure,” I reply quietly.

  He begins to walk ahead of me, following a trail leading deeper into the forest. I look back and see Janice talking and laughing with a large group of people, and I can’t help but be happy for her. She looks like she’s having so much fun. Janice actually looks like she’s meant to be here.

  “Coming?” I hear Parker’s voice behind me.

  “Yeah, sorry.”

  After walking a little ways, Parker stops and turns to look at me. His features are illuminated by the moonlight seeping through the pockets in the canopy overhead. Sadness reflects in his eyes when his meet mine.

  “So, we’re here. Let’s talk,” I say, breaking the silence.

  Parker takes my hand in his and pulls me to stand right in front of him. I want to fight back, but deep down I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. I’ve been waiting for him to explain why he did what he did. He left a giant hole in my heart, and it’s about time he mans up and tries to fill it.

  The pensive look on his face causes my anger to subside for a mo
ment, allowing the heartache I felt when he left to invade. Seeing him again draws out all of the feelings I had for him. We were so close back then. We used to spend many restless nights talking on the phone about our future plans. He was supposed to go to Blackburn University in order to be close by while I finished up high school. It was all set. He even received a full scholarship.

  To me, our relationship seemed like the real thing, and even though Parker was my first true boyfriend, I was sure he was the one. I trusted him so much that I even decided to make him my first foray into the land of non-virgins. He understood how much losing my virginity meant to me after all the discussions we had about waiting until it was the right time. When the time arrived, he made sure my first time was both memorable and uber romantic. Like with most young love, it seemed like my whole world revolved around him. I thought he felt the same way, but I guess I was wrong.

  “I can tell you’re really pissed off at me,” he says now. “If I was in your position, I’d be pissed off at me too. I’ve treated you like shit, and probably don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

  “Great. We’ve established I’m pissed at you. Go on.”

  He laughs at my snarkiness. “You always do this. Your walls are so thick right now, and I know I’m to blame for most of that. I didn’t just up and leave you, Dani. I was forced to leave. I couldn’t tell you where I was going because I knew you’d be the only person who would’ve been able to stop me,” he explains, his eyes pleading with me to understand.

  “I think I’m going to need a little more than that.”

  He looks at the ground, seeming to take a moment to gather his thoughts before he returns his gaze to me. “My parents found out about us. Since you were so young, they had serious issues with me being with you. They filled my head with thoughts about how I’d be ruining our lives if we stayed together. They threatened to send me out to California if I didn’t go willingly. So, I didn’t really have a choice. I’ll be honest…the thought of me being your first—and possibly only—boyfriend if we continued our relationship began to eat away at me. I realized that you had your whole life ahead of you, and one way or another, I was going off to college. I panicked and took my parents up on their offer. I thought me leaving would be the best thing for both of us. In retrospect, it was stupid. I know that now, and I’m sorry for fucking things up like I did.”

  “What? So, you expect to return here, get this off your chest, and I’m instantly supposed to be okay with this? I gave you the one thing I can never get back and this is your explanation for why you just up and left? It wasn’t fair that you made that decision for both of us. I’ve spent the last two years putting myself back together. Meanwhile, you went off to California to bang me out of your mind because you were young and didn’t want to fight for what I thought we had. Wow, I didn’t know I was dating a boy at the time. I thought I had a man. Guess I was fooled,” I snap.

  When I turn to leave, he grabs my hand and yanks me into his firm arms. His embrace is warm and comforting, like being wrapped in a towel fresh from the dryer.

  “Is this man enough for you?” he asks close to my mouth, just before our lips caress.

  I’d forgotten how incredible it felt to kiss Parker, but was immediately reminded the instant our mouths touched. I feel like I’m standing in a sauna, even though it’s fifty-something degrees out here. Parker releases me from his lips and pulls back to look at me. There’s a hint of anticipation in his eyes, like he’s hoping and waiting to see if his kiss has succeeded in making me change my mind.

  The moment he starts to say something, my head begins to feel funny, like I’m really drunk. This can’t be because of his kiss. Parker’s good, but he’s not that good. I find myself trying extra hard to focus on his face and hear what he’s saying, but it all just seems to be gibberish to my ears. A headache forms behind my eyes. I stagger backwards, out of Parker’s arms. He catches me before I fall to the ground. I see concern register on his face, but still can’t make out what he’s saying. His features become one giant blur.

  “I…feel…funny,” I hear myself say as I feel Parker cradle me to the ground. His hand caresses my cheek just before everything fades to black.

  Chapter Seven

  I blink open my eyes and everything seems distorted because my vision won’t focus. Groggy doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. Blinking my eyes again, I see things a little clearer, but still can’t make out specific details. I try to raise my head, but can’t due to the massive migraine beating me back down. I feel my forehead. There’s a cool, damp rag resting there. It seems like my head is being supported by a pillow, and it feels like I’m lying in a bed, but it doesn’t feel like mine. It’s definitely firmer than my mattress at home.

  A sense of wooziness hits me. I feel like I’ve taken several doses of NyQuil all at once or something. I slide the cool rag down from my forehead to rest over my eyes, hoping it will ease some of the strain.

  A door opens and closes in the near vicinity. I begin to stir in the bed, but my muscles ache with every movement, so I remain lying still.

  “Hello?” I croak. “Is someone there?”

  I feel something caress my face, followed by a voice I know very well.

  “You’re awake, I see,” Parker says.

  “Where am I?”

  “My dorm room,” he replies.

  “Why am I in your dorm room?”

  Deep down, I’m kind of happy I’m here. When we were together, Parker was always so attentive, and even though I didn’t necessarily need him to, he would take care of me. I guess that was one of the many reasons I liked him so much. He was always so caring…at least up until the day he left.

  He lets out a small chuckle. “You passed out last night and I couldn’t find Janice. So, I decided to take you back here to rest. I figured your dad would kill both of us if I brought you home.”

  “Smart move,” I say and then try to laugh, but only succeed in aggravating my headache even more. “Wait…you couldn’t find Janice?”

  “Nope. I did find Phoebe, though, and she said something about her leaving with a guy named Gunnar. I didn’t really get the details,” he replies.

  “She left…with Gunnar?” I murmur.

  “Huh?”

  “Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud.”

  “Exactly how much did you have to drink last night?” he asks while moving the cloth to rest back on my forehead.

  “I only remember having like, two drinks…the shot at the entrance, and the one beer I got myself.”

  “Ha, lightweight,” he teases.

  “I don’t feel hung over, though. I kind of feel drugged—like someone might have slipped something in my drink.”

  Did Parker put something in my drink? No, he couldn’t have. He was in my sights the whole time last night.

  “Was your drink ever unattended?” he asks. I hear a hint of concern in his voice.

  “I can’t really remember.”

  “Do you by any chance remember any of our conversation last night?”

  “Bits and pieces.”

  He lets out what sounds like a disappointed sigh. “Huh. Well, can you open your eyes at least?”

  “I can try,” I reply, slowly blinking them open. Everything’s still blurry, but as I attempt to focus on just Parker’s face, he comes into view. A smile lights up his baby blues as our eyes meet.

  “Good morning. Well, actually it’s after noon.”

  “Ah, crap. What time is it?” I ask, feeling my stomach sink at the thought of my dad sending out a search party with him leading the way, decked out in full riot gear.

  “It’s about one, why?”

  “Ugh, my dad’s why. Where’s my phone?” I ask, feeling around me to see if it’s anywhere near.

  “Oh, it’s on my desk. I’ll get it,” he says. He rises from the bed. The first thing I notice is that he’s not wearing a shirt. The second thing: He’s wearing green-and-blue flannel pajama bottoms, and
they’re dangerously low. As he turns around, my eyes go directly to the definition just around his hips. Oh my God, his V is ridiculous. Seriously, when did Parker get this hot? I mean, he was hot before, but now, holy shit. And from the looks of it, he may not be wearing any boxers under those pajama pants.

  I feel embarrassed for staring and avert my eyes. “You’re killing me with your V,” I blurt out.

  “My what?” he asks.

  “Your V. You know, the highly-defined hip and pelvic area. Your V,” I reply, taking my phone from his hands.

  “Oh, that. Yeah, I’ve been working out a little lately.”

  “A little?” I mutter under my breath. He just laughs.

  I look down at the shirt I have on and it’s definitely not mine. It suddenly dawns on me I’m wearing one of his.

  Tugging on it, I say, “Uh, why am I wearing your shirt? We didn’t—”

  “No, nothing happened,” he replies quickly. “You threw up all over your Little Red outfit, and that’s all I had for you to wear.”

  “Really? Why on Earth would you tell me I did that? Please don’t say it’s ruined,” I ask, hoping it isn’t. I really love that costume.

  “No, I washed it for you.”

  “Thank you,” I say with a sigh of relief. “At least that’s one less thing my dad’s going to kill me for.”

  When I turn on my phone, there’s the missed call icon at the top of the screen with a number seven next to it. “Dammit, I’ve missed seven calls today. And they’re all from my dad…great. Wait! My car…it’s still parked in the woods! We have to go get it,” I exclaim.

  “Okay, calm down. Go get dressed and then I’ll drive you out there. You’ll have to wear your costume again though, you know that, right?” he says, taking a seat next to me on the bed.

  “Yeah, I don’t care. I just need to get my car.”

  “Well, your Little Red outfit’s in the bathroom hanging up,” he says, motioning to the open door off to the side.

  As I go to push myself off the bed, I stumble and fall into Parker’s arms. He steadies me until I’m able to regain my balance. “This is quite the compromising position, huh?” he asks smoothly, and I notice my hips are positioned right in between his legs. Our faces are so close together that I feel the caress of his breath on the tip of my nose when he speaks. “So, about our little chat last night…I didn’t get a chance to ask you something before you passed out.”