Christmas and Forever

by Delilah Hunt

  His ears perked up. She had switched to his name again. He wished she would stick with it and stop the Dr. Keegan crap whenever she became angry, as well as the more heinous, “Sir”, as she had called him in front of her boyfriend. Once again the reminder of the other man in Liya’s life reeled in another wave of fury. Aidan stared her down, the anger smoldering into arousal that refused to be quelled. His cock hardened painfully. The provoking female standing before him was one hundred percent, all woman.

  There was nothing girlish about her, no matter how hard Aidan tried to tell himself she was simply a woman-child. Liya’s luscious curves made him pine to stroke his hands along her hips and plunge his cock into her over and over.

  Voice low, Aidan asked, “Would your boyfriend approve of me calling you to talk, as you suggested? Or does he also think I’m harmless after seeing me last night?”

  She tilted her head and parted her bow-shaped lips, peering at him with a mixture of confusion and something else he couldn’t identify. Tenderness? Pity? He hoped it was the former.

  “Is that what this is about? You saw me outside of work and you’re upset that I was with someone?”

  He gritted his teeth. Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut? Bitter old man. “Upset? You’re an employee here, Ms. Emerson, why should I be upset about your personal life?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay. Does that mean you planned on calling me, then? I want the truth. No games.”

  He wanted to lie to her, tell her not even in his darkest hour would he reach out to her.

  “Yes.”

  She gave a slow nod and advanced a step closer. “If it makes any difference, he’s not my boyfriend. You’re not the only one who’s lonely, Aidan and you’re not the only one who has been hurt. The only difference is I don’t wear my pain like a badge. You do, and I suppose my greatest wish for you is to toss it out.” She pressed a hand to his chest. His entire body went taut at the electrifying touch. “Would Sarah have wanted you to live like this?”

  Sarah. She had said his wife’s name. It felt like she had dashed a bucket of ice-cold water on him. Liya was talking about moving on. Commencing with life, marrying, having more children and all that was included in the life Aidan had wanted with Sarah. She meant for him to do those glorious things with another woman, when he had promised himself to keep Sarah and only Sarah in his heart. Liya was the proverbial temptress, enticing him to betray his promise. Every look, every silken word that fell from her lips made him covet the impossible. Suddenly, everything seemed all too real. His feelings for Liya. The possibility of moving on. It was too much.

  Aidan panicked. “You know nothing of what Sarah would have wanted.” He lifted her hand from his chest. “I’m only going to say this once to you: don’t ever mention her name or act like you know anything about the type of person my wife was.”

  “Thanks for the warning.” Liya glared while reaching over the counter for her handbag, never taking her eyes off him. “I doubt I’ll see you again. In that case, Merry Christmas, sir, and take care of yourself. In spite of your attitude, you’re an amazing doctor and so many people depend on you. I only hope you won’t forget that.”

  He couldn’t seem to stop himself from talking. “That’s just it, isn’t it, Liya? If I didn’t have the clinic and my work at the hospital, what else is there for me? Would there be a reason for anyone to need me? I know my shortcomings.”

  “And I know mine, but that doesn’t mean I plan to spend the rest of my life alone.”

  Aidan let out a harsh breath. “What do you want me to do? What do you want me to say?”

  Liya’s fingers grazed the door handle. “For starters, you could wish me a ‘Merry Christmas’. Since this is likely the last time we’ll see each other, Dr. Keegan.”

  He was beside her in an instant, halting her motion with his hand above hers. Her quick intake of breath whistled across the room. Eyes bright and shiny, she held his gaze. So many damn promises inside those charcoal eyes, he thought. Liya was hanging on his every syllable and true to form, Aidan knew his next words would disappoint.

  “Merry Christmas.”

  She shook her head and quirked her lips to the side as if she understood everything that went unsaid. “Take care of yourself, Doc.”

  Seconds later, Liya was gone. Aidan thumped his fist against the wall. Was he going to allow her to walk away and possibly out of his life forever? Liya had said the man wasn’t her boyfriend, and the relief he’d felt upon hearing that was insurmountable. He had to get her. Aidan sprang toward the door and held the handle. His mind worked overtime, all of his insecurities tumbling and crashing into the next, upending his thoughts. What if he did go out there and stop her? What would happen if he grabbed Liya’s soft hands, crushing her to him and burying his face in her neck? Would he be rewarded with the feel of her soft arms around him? Would she tell him that he wasn’t just useful as a doctor, and that he could be the man for her? Could he even be the man for her?

  Aidan looked down at his leg. Liya was aware of the injury, but she was clueless about the damage and ugly scar that was left behind. On the other hand, Liya had seen him at his worst, limping and still, she continued to hint at her feelings for him.

  He thought again about the horrendous curves life had slung his way. It wasn’t fair, that much was for sure. And it was more of a burden than one man should have to bear. At the same time, it was a refrain he was getting tired of repeating.

  He needed to call Liya before he left for the cabin. Allowing her to walk out of his life was not an option. Aidan whipped the cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number. If there was one thing he had learned about Liya, she was true to her word and kept her promises.

  The trill of the phone reverberated in his ear. Aidan crossed his fingers. His heart slammed inside his chest as he waited, hoping to hear her voice. On the fourth ring, her voice came through, faint and distant.

  “Hello?”

  “Liya?”

  “Hellooo?” she repeated, sounding confused amid the static in the background.

  Shit. She couldn’t hear him. No wonder, the connection was shot and in no time the phone reverted to the startup screen. Dropped call. Knowing Liya, her phone battery had died. Much like forgetting to wear gloves on the coldest morning, she had forgotten to keep her phone fully charged. Disheartened, Aidan tossed the phone on the counter. Useless. For now, he would leave her alone until after he returned from the cabin and the holiday atmosphere was behind them

  Chapter Five

  The cabin was deserted. Outside in the cold, Liya surveyed the snowy landscape. It was just as she had imagined. Behind the cabin in the distance, the Appalachian Mountains stretched toward the overcast skies, shaded in a blanket of snow. Save for a chipmunk scampering across the sparse limb of a maple tree, which was flanked by several overgrown coniferous pines, she was alone.

  Unless she had hit her head and the date was wrong, it was Friday afternoon. She had expected to see the others milling about upon their arrival. Liya crossed the entrance to the log cabin and rang the doorbell. She pressed her nose to the chafing surface of the double window, peeking to see if anyone was inside. Not a soul. Frowning, she wondered if she had been tricked. But why? It didn’t make any sense. None of the doctors seemed mean-spirited. She trudged through the snow, the icy clumps coming all the way up to her boot-clad calves, and made her way back to the car. Maybe they had cancelled the get-together and tried to contact her. She opened the driver’s side door and pulled her phone off the seat, recalling that Aidan had also attempted to contact her before the connection flat-lined. The battery was dead.

  No wonder. She sighed and slumped against the driver’s-side door. What a bust. She wasn’t ready to trudge back down the mountain slope and spend Christmas alone. The drive back would be exceptionally grim in light of the disappointment.

  Mind made up, Liya eased into the seat, pausing at the distant sound of an approaching car in the falling snow. She amb
led out and slammed the door. If it hadn’t been for the pelting snow she would have immediately recognized the sedan. Liya blinked and squinted her eyes against the mist

  Aidan! That was Aidan’s car. Her mind whirred. What was he doing here? She leaned against a tree and waited for his car to brake. She hadn’t expected to see him again. Blood coursed through her veins so hot, the winter’s eve seemed like a late spring afternoon. Her heart bubbled with excitement. She maneuvered out into the open.

  “Aidan?”

  His eyes scanned the area before bringing his attention to her, confusion plain as the stubble of hair on his jaw. “Liya, what are you doing here?”

  She forced a smile. “I could ask you the same thing.”

  Brows furrowed he continued to gape at her as if she had lost her mind. “I asked you a serious question. How did you find out about this place and what are you doing here?”

  “I came here to spend the holiday.” She frowned and looked around at the emptiness. “At least I thought I did.”

  “How did you get the address?”

  “What’s wrong with you?” She didn’t like his tone implying that she had done something wrong. “Dr. Northrop invited me here for the holidays, but it looks like they might have canceled and tried to contact me. What are you doing here?”

  “This is my cabin.”

  Oh God. She almost staggered. “You’re not lying?” He remained stoic. Embarrassment crept high up her neck. She flustered, suddenly feeling out of place and unwelcomed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. When he invited me I asked if you’d be coming. He never hinted that the cabin belonged to you. I assumed this was his place.”

  “The cabin belongs to me and Sa—”

  “And Sarah,” she finished for him. He blinked as if he hadn’t realized what he was on the verge of revealing. She laughed it off. Better that than to let him know it wounded her pride that she was never in the forefront of his mind. “I get it, Aidan. Like I said, I thought this was Dr. Northrop’s cabin and that the others would be here. No harm done, right?” She swung over to the car, wishing nothing more than to leave him in peace.

  “I built this for her,” he said quietly. “For us. It was finished a month before the accident.” He stared into her eyes. “It was supposed to be a new start for us after we found out about the pregnancy.”

  Liya nodded. She couldn’t fault him for holding on to his memories. She guarded the memories of her parents and brother fiercely. Nothing would ever delete those precious people from her heart or mind.

  “Are you spending Christmas here? What about your in-laws?”

  His lips quirked, giving him a boyish appearance. “They’ll be fine without me this year.”

  “All right. I’m gonna leave now.” She issued him a rueful smile. “I’m sorry you came here and saw me.” He stood beside her as she rested her hand against the car door. Taking in a tremulous breath, Liya turned to him. She hoped her words would give him some peace. “If I could find a way to give her back to you, I would. I swear it, Aidan. I know that might not mean much to you at this point, but I want you to know I get it. You don’t have any space left in your heart.”

  His lids lowered as he stalked closer. “And if I did? What if I wanted to make space for someone else, do you think it’s that easy? Who would want to be with me?”

  He was testing her. She held his gaze. “I would. I’d want to be with you, Aidan Keegan. I know the man who exists beneath the sadness.”

  “Do you feel sorry for me, Liya? Are you thinking of ways to bring some Christmas joy into an old man’s heart?”

  “Don’t diminish my feelings for you.”

  “I never should have hired you,” Aidan confessed, his voice taking on a raspy edge. “I should have slammed the door in your face and told you to stay the hell away from the clinic.”

  Liya folded her arms. “But you didn’t.”

  “Why are you making this so damn hard? I came here to find some peace. You walked out of the clinic. I tried to call you today and I thought––” He paused and lowered his head, letting out a loud whoosh of air before lifting his head. Stormy eyes greeted her. “Damn it, Liya, I thought it was the last time I would see you.”

  Liya gazed at him. “You care? Would it bother you if we never saw each other again?” All she needed was an affirmation from him. Something to show he cared as much as she did.

  “I care. God help me, I shouldn’t, but I do.”

  Liya hedged closer, seizing the moment. “Do you want to spend this holiday alone, Aidan?”

  His eyes held hers captive, pain as harrowing as the blade of a sledgehammer, slicing into her. It all became clear to her. Aidan was a man fighting an internal battle. He didn’t want to be alone, but was terrified of starting over.

  Slowly, he shook his head. The guilt and confusion flickering across his face caused her chest to wheeze in anguish. Aidan thought he was weak for allowing himself to feel again. Liya swallowed back the nerves and hurt feelings. She cared too much about him to let him suffer alone, even if it meant wearing her heart on her sleeve and relinquishing her pride. “Three days,” she stated. “We have the weekend together. For three days, Aidan. Let’s pretend it’s just us. No past. Nothing between us. I won’t ask for a commitment from you and you won’t do the same to me. After that, I’ll walk away.”

  She could see the rise and fall of his chest as he contemplated. “You don’t know what you’re suggesting.”

  “I do,” she beseeched, placing a hand on his chest. “Let me take care of you. We’ll take care of each other for these three days, and then you’ll go back to your life and I’ll return to mine. No guilt, Aidan. It’s not like there’s a chance of you losing your heart to me. Sarah will still be your number one.”

  “It’s not fair to you…” Anticipation dripped from Aidan’s words. He wanted this as much as she did. Needed it.

  Liya locked her eyes with his, hoping Aidan could see the honesty and candor within. “I don’t want to spend the holiday alone. We’re two adults, right? I just want to pretend for a little bit how it could have been between us. I know you do, too. You can’t lie to me about that. I know what’s deep inside you, beneath all those layers.”

  He glanced at her hand on his chest. “I never realized how selfish I was until this moment.” Touching his forehead to hers, he whispered, “I want that so much, sweetheart. God help me, Liya. I don’t want to be alone either.”

  Liya felt his body relax into her touch. Carefully, she weaved her arms around his waist and held him close. “We don’t have to be. It’ll be just you and me. Aidan and Liya. Just three days and then you can return your heart to her.”

  His lips brushed across her cheek and she felt his warm breath against her ear like a lover’s caress. “Don’t make me lose my heart to you, Liya. I can’t do that, sweetheart. Please don’t make me lose my heart.”

  Her heart ached for him. Pangs of jealousy stabbed at her, seeing the devotion he had for Sarah. What it must have felt like to be loved by him. She stroked her fingertips to his jaw. “I won’t take it from you. That much I can promise you.” I want you to give it to me willingly.

  Aidan cupped her chin and swept his lips against her mouth. “Welcome to my cabin.”

  Jerking back her head, she laughed, joyous tears clinging to her lashes. Finally, they were just a man and a woman––nothing more, nothing less. “Was the kiss a part of the welcome?”

  Aidan clasped her tighter to his frame. “Unplanned, but something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” He regarded her in earnest. “Are you a hundred percent sure about this?” Was that a tremor in his voice? Liya gazed up at him. Aidan was dead wrong. What she felt for him had nothing to do with pity or sympathy. And while her actions were meant to bring him a measure of happiness, her moves were not entirely unselfish. She was in love with Aidan Keegan and if she wouldn’t be allowed to have him forever, then these precious few days would remain with her long after they went their separate wa
ys.

  “You can change your mind, and we could stay here and—”

  “Go back to being Dr. Keegan, entertaining his receptionist?” she asked, cutting him off.

  His dark brows narrowed. “You were never just a receptionist.”

  “You’re neglecting the point. Is that what you truly want?”

  Jaws clenched, he brushed a snowflake from her cheek. “No, Liya. That’s not what I want for this Christmas.”

  A fist clamped and squeezed around her heart. Although he said what she wanted to hear, it stung nonetheless that he made sure to emphasize that it would only be for Christmas.

  She padlocked it away deep in the recesses of her mind. It was what she wanted, after all. “All right.” She hooked her arm through his. “You can give me the grand tour later on.” Liya craned her neck and looked to the left as they hedged to the entrance, bags in hand. Beyond an expanse of pine trees, she could barely make out what appeared to be a pond covered in ice. “Does all of this belong to you?” She grinned. “If it does, then I guess surgeons must really be rolling in it, huh?”

  A shadow crossed Aidan’s face. “I’m not a surgeon anymore. You know that. And to answer your question, just about everything you can see encompasses the property.”

  “If you’re not a surgeon, then what on Earth are you doing teaching those students and how could they leave you in charge of an entire department?” He held the door open and placed her bag alongside his on the floor. “This isn’t a joke.”

  “I wasn’t joking,” she countered. “I’m sure you miss practicing what you love, but you have to realize the amount of people you’re helping. The amount that you’ve helped already.”

  Kicking the door shut, Aidan eyed her with undisguised interest. “What about you, Liya? Is this your way of helping, doing your part for mankind? How many men have you made this offer to?” His face seemed harsh, unforgiving. If his insinuation weren’t so laughable, she would be insulted…except for the hope that the scent she detected in the air was the aromatic perfume of jealousy. Aidan Keegan, jealous of non-existent liaisons? She really hoped so.