Lucifer's Game

by Rachael Tamayo

  ***

  The sound of thunder wakes me. The soft sounds of rain tapping on the window gently lure me into consciousness, and for that split second, I forgot. As quickly as I forget, I remember, bolting up in bed, my brain fuzzy. The reality of my life comes rushing back and it makes my heart hurt.

  Damn it, Cora.

  I pick up her pillow and inhale her fragrance. It chokes me. What once calmed my senses now only enrages them, and I toss the pillow away. She never came back home. Some other man is touching her and it’s all my fault. Reaching over to the nightstand, I pick up my phone. The shattered screen tells me that it’s almost lunch time.

  Must have gone straight to work. I jump up, grabbing my keys. I had no idea.

  This isn’t over until I say it is.

  It takes me twenty minutes to get to her office. I check my reflection, I look like hell. Pale and tired. Regardless, I park by her Ford and get out.

  I ride the elevator up in silent dread. What will she say when sees me?

  Don’t confront her. Invite her to lunch. Be civil.

  Don’t be a dickhead.

  I take in a long, slow breath as the doors open to the seventh floor. It’s been so long since I’ve come to see her at work, it shouldn’t’ have been under these circumstances.

  I’m such an ass.

  I round the corner and slam right into the son of a bitch that’s been fucking my wife.

  My mouth goes dry as I look up at him. Inches taller than I am, but I don’t really care.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, way too loudly.

  He smiles. “I came to take Cora to lunch.”

  “Stay away from my wife.”

  He shifts his weight, crosses his arms. The sleeves of his tee shirt strain on his biceps.

  “Make me.”

  “Make you? What are you, seven?” I laugh. My heart thuds in my chest as he sizes me up with a glance.

  “You have to know when you’re beat. You can’t be so stupid to come here and think you can win when she has clearly made her choice.” His biceps strain against the sleeves of a tight tee shirt as he folds his arms across his chest.

  I pace the floor, wondering how far I should take this. Knowing that this might be my only real opportunity to confront this douche, I square my stance and stand up taller. He’s big enough to kill me, but I’m enough of a hot head not to give a shit.

  “I don’t know that at all. You’re just a lay, that’s it. She doesn’t have any real feelings for you.”

  He scoffs and smiles. “Not yet. She sure seemed to love everything I did to her last night.”

  I shove him in his massive chest; he loses his footing and slams into the wall behind him.

  “Fuck you. I know what you’re doing and it won’t work. Just back the hell off. Leave her alone. You have no idea what you are doing.”

  He regains his footing and narrows his eyes at me. “I know exactly what I’m doing. I know, poor heartbroken husband regrets walking out on his wife now that she’s getting dick from someone else. Poor, poor baby.” He leans in and whispers the next words close to my ear. “She really likes tongue too, you know. Loves to throw her legs around my-”

  I cut him off when my fist connects with his face. The smack of meat, a swear word, and the sound of my blood rushing in my ears is all I can hear. I connect with those eyes for a split second, and it’s enough to tell me that he could kill me if he really wanted to.

  Fuck this.

  He grabs me by my shirt and slams me into the wall. The sound of the door opening a few feet away draws both our attention.

  ***

  Cora

  “Um, Cora?” Liz pops her head into my office. I look up from my computer to find her wide eyed, slightly pale.

  “What?”

  “Your husband and your boyfriend are in the hall… fighting. Meagan called the cops,” she says, quietly.

  What the fuck.

  I jump up so fast my chair rolls back and hits the wall behind me with a bang. Great, now my whole office thinks I’m a slut.

  All eyes are on me as I rush through the office, passing the secretary, who is clearly still on the phone answering a 911 operators questions.

  I throw open the door to find Andrew, pinned on the wall by his shoulders, and Devin bleeding from his left eye.

  Both men turn to me with rage burning in their eyes. I push Devin.

  “What are you doing? Let him go!” My voice trembles almost as much as my hands.

  “What is wrong with you?” I shout. Devin’s hands slip off of Andrew, who shoves him. “Why are you doing this, here of all places?”

  Devin glares at him.

  They both just stare at me.

  Seconds pass, and finally, Andrew speaks first. His voice is gravel, pitted with emotions as he looks at me with pleading eyes.

  “Is this what you want? Him?”

  The tears I was holding back break, as if a dam burst. Devin reaches for me, I shrink back.

  “Don’t.” I take a trembling breath. “Well, I don’t want this. You two humiliating me like this in front of everyone I have to work with. How can I walk back in there now? They are all going to be whispering behind my back.” I breathe in a shuddering breath, suddenly realizing what my life has come to, what I’ve done. “Oh God, I can’t believe this.” I turn to Andrew. “All I wanted was a family and you left me. Now you are here? Is it just because you’re jealous? If not for him, you’d still be ignoring me.”

  He starts to open his mouth and I turn away from him.

  “And you, what are you doing? Why would you think that I would be okay with you hurting him?”

  What has happened to me? They both reach for me again, and I jerk out of the way of them both. As angry as I am at them, I hate myself more. This is my fault. Good girl all my life, and now I’m nothing but a slut. I’m so ashamed that I can barely look at either of them.

  My feelings confuse me. Anger, hate, and shame all swirling like a tornado inside me. I thrash tears off my face as they both stare at me.

  “They called the police,” I say, finally.

  Just as the words leave my mouth, two officers round the corner. I take in a ragged breath, wondering which, if not both, will end up being arrested.

  After about twenty minutes of arguing, officers telling them to shut up, and finally being separated in order to get the story out, Devin and Andrew, both cuffed for detention purposes, are dragged back together.

  “This guy hit you?” the older, heavyset cop asks Devin. Devin eyes Andrew and I hold my breath. I don’t want Andrew to go to jail.

  Devin glances at me.

  “I don’t want to press charges.”

  The words echo in my head, in my chest, as the breath I didn’t know I was holding escapes.

  Devin holds my eyes, then casts his gaze down to the floor, and I know in my heart, he did it for me.

  Andrew looks defeated, exhausted, and broken. I did that to him. Pain, like a boulder, sits on my chest as I stare into his pained, gray eyes. I did this to him. He’s been lowered to this animalistic version of himself because of me.

  The police mutter between themselves, and then announce to all three of us that they will not be making any arrests, but will be escorting the guys off the property. I sigh in some minor bit of relief. At least that’s something.

  There are no marks on Andrew, as far as Devin holding him against the wall, so the police don’t pursue it further. They are walked out of the hallway, still cuffed, but promised to be released in the parking lot and escorted off the property.

  Silence falls.

  I lean against the wall, opposite the door, dreading re-entry. Passing through the office, all the eyes, the whispers, questions.

  Sleeping with a man not my husband, and now everyone knows.

  I’ve never felt like a slut in my life, until just this moment.

  But Devin, he let Andrew go, when he could have had him tossed in jail. He let him go for me.


  Instead of going back inside, I decide to walk for a minute. A short elevator ride and I’m in the parking lot.

  My second lap around the building, I see a black BMW pull into the parking lot. It pulls up, the window rolls down, and Devin meets my eyes.

  “Lunch?”

  I swallow.

  “Come on, gorgeous.”

  I glance back towards the door.

  “Okay.”

  Chapter Nine

  Andrew

  I drove around to clear my head for a while before deciding what to do next.

  I sit in my car ignoring calls from my boss. He’s been after me off and on all day, wondering why I didn’t come in this morning. I’m a welder and, honestly, he will just have to get by without me. This is more important. Instead of answering, I sit parked in front of the house that Cora and I shared. She still hasn’t talked to me.

  After entering the house, I locate my great grandfather’s old, roll top desk and open it to find the fancy stationary that Cora bought ages ago, but never used. Rummaging. I find a pen.

  I’ve never written her a letter, not once in the ten years I’ve known her.

  With a trembling hand, I sit down and draw my wife’s name out on the paper.

  Cora,

  The first thing I want to say to you is I’m sorry. For today, for yesterday, for the last year.

  I guess you are right to hate me, or whatever you might be feeling towards me. You are right about some things. I didn’t listen to you, I didn’t think about your feelings like I should have, and I didn’t think about what I was really doing when I left.

  I realize that it was me that drove you to this. Into the arms of another man, after trying to communicate with me for weeks after I walked out. Now I’m left with this aching hole in my chest because I realize what I did, and I can’t get you to listen to me.

  I guess what goes around, comes around, huh?

  It might be funny if it wasn’t so fucked up.

  Cora, I need you. I miss you. I don’t want you to be with him anymore. Whatever has happened, we can work this out. We can sit down and talk. I’ll listen to anything you want to say.

  Sometimes I lay in this lonely bed and think about what I did when I walked away. I remember all the tears you cried and holding you every time we lost one of our babies. I was wrong to give up and handle it the way I did. I want to try again. I’ll do whatever it takes, you’re my angel and I love you. We can do this. Please, don’t give up on me.

  I love you. I want to grow old with you, to watch our babies grow. I want to take you back to that place in Hawaii and kiss you until the sun comes up, over and over again.

  Please let me come home.

  Love eternally,

  Andrew

  I read the letter over and over again. I guess it’s okay. I’m not Shakespeare. The best I can hope to do is pour my heart out to her and hope that it touches hers, somehow.

  I seal the letter in a flowery printed matching envelope, pink and purple, leaving it in the mailbox as I pull out.

  ***

  Devin

  After watching Andrew drive away, I head to the mailbox and retrieve the item that I saw him shove in there before speeding away. A flowery envelope with her name scrawled across the outside sits in my hand. Wasting no time, I tear it open.

  As I read, Xander walks up, his confident stride catching my eye. He takes a seat next to me as I read, carefully taking the paper from my hands after I’m finished.

  “He’s pathetic,” I comment.

  He nods, handing it back to me. I’m about to crumple it when he catches me by the wrist when he sees that I’m about to crumple it.

  “Wait, don’t throw it out. Give it a couple of days and give it back to him. Use it to your advantage.”

  “Oh, you mean like she gave it back after reading it? Why didn’t I think of that?” I stuff it back in its torn envelope.

  “Because you are too busy thinking about Cora.”

  Not the words I expected from him. I swallow, refusing to look up, knowing he will see the truth in my eyes.

  “You assume too much.”

  “You forget who you’re talking to? The father of lies? I birthed obsession. Are you so stupid to think that I don’t smell it on you?”

  I look down at the ground. “She’s in my thoughts constantly. I hate getting this close,” I confess.

  “Is she that good of a lay?” he laughs. “I’d say you’re doing well with her, judging by the amount of time she’s with you. And at this rate, little Andy boy will be driven to madness or murder. I wonder what you two see in this bitch, she’s so ordinary.”

  I pocket the letter, offering no further explanation.

  “You don’t bother to try and fight it, do you?” Xander stands up.

  I look up, squinting in the sunlight. “Why bother? I want her, I have her. I’ll make sure I get to keep her until I’m finished or there is nothing left. I’m not some pathetic human that fights his urges because of what’s right or wrong.” Nothing left but a shell housing a blackened soul.

  “Whatever. Just don’t forget why we are here. Get him out of the picture.”

  “Consider it done.”

  ***

  Cora

  After work, I’m so worried about going home and finding Andrew there that, at the last minute, I pull into Marilyn’s apartment complex. It’s been days since I talked to her.

  Facing Andrew after that mess at work is the last thing I want. Especially after that walk of shame I had going back to work after lunch. I don’t need another one.

  Those looks he gives me, I just can’t. Not now. I realize that eventually I’ll have to, but it’s not happening right now.

  I knock on the door with a sigh. I hope she’s home, I didn’t even call her.

  The door opens in my face and I’m startled by what I see. Her usually beautiful, dark hair seems like it needs to be washed. Pulled into a sloppy bun, she’s without makeup and looks tired. Usually so put together, this comes as a shock. She has on what looks like old, beat up, Metallica tee shirt, and a pair of shorts that have seen better days.

  “Are you okay?” I look her over. “Are you sick?”

  She frowns at me. I walk in and the smell of cigarettes is like a punch in the face. There is a lit one in an ashtray on the coffee table.

  “Are you smoking again? It took you three years to quit! What-”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “Oh, get over it. It’s just recreational.”

  I raise an eyebrow as she grabs the butt and takes a long drag. As she blows smoke into the air, Xander walks out of the bedroom buttoning his jeans.

  What is going on here?

  “Hey gorgeous.” He grins at me, taking the cigarette from Marilyn to take a drag.

  “What’s going on? I haven’t heard from you in days.” Marilyn crushes it in the ashtray while Xander heads for the kitchen.

  I wrinkle my brow in a frown, debating on questioning her for this sudden shift in personality. Remembering my own actions of late, I swallow the lecture and decide to deal with it later.

  “Devin and Andrew almost got arrested today, that’s all. They both showed up at my work. I’m so embarrassed. I don’t want to go home, I’m afraid he will be there waiting for me to talk again. I don’t want to talk.”

  “You don’t owe him an explanation,” she says, accepting the beer that he hands her. “Just change the locks.”

  Change the locks? I can’t do that to him. “I don’t think it’s that bad.”

  “Almost going to jail isn’t that bad?” She laughs, taking a long drink.

  “I don’t think their meeting was intentional. They both showed up to take me to lunch.”

  “Maybe you should just have a threesome. That should calm him down.”

  Xander laughs at her comment, sitting down on the couch.

  “No kidding. He ought to love that.”

  I flush. Where am I? I’ve never seen her like this, or talk lik
e this, ever.

  “He’s really hurting, Marilyn,” I say, quietly.

  She sighs, as if I’m annoying her.

  “So what, you want to stay here for a couple days? He might look here, but you can stay.”

  “No, thanks.” I glance between them. She’s acting too strangely for me to want to stay here. “You seem different, are you alright?” I ask, carefully.

  “Sure, I’m good. Better than ever. Xander is making sure of that.” She winks at him.

  “You got that right47452,” he mutters the words, his green gaze moving between us.

  This is more uncomfortable than I expected it to be.

  “Hey, why don’t you join us for dinner? I can call Devin, I’m sure he’d love to do something.” Xander dials before I can open my mouth.

  “Yeah, lets barbeque. Cora, let’s go to the store and get some meat to cook.” She jumps up.

  After a moment, Xander tells us that Devin is in, and will be on his way.

  “Good. Xander can stay here and light the grill, let’s go.” She grabs my hand to pull me to my feet as if the matter is settled.

  I guess I’m staying for dinner.

  ***

  The evening is pretty much over. Dinner is done. Dishes are stacked in the kitchen. A movie is playing, selected from her On Demand service with her cable company.

  Devin and I are on the couch making out like teenagers.

  He lays between my spread legs, mouth to mouth in slow deep kisses in the flickering light of the TV. One of his hands on my ass, the other in my bra, it’s like I forgot we aren’t alone.

  I sigh, pushing my hips into his body, he grins against my lips.

  “You ready to go, baby?”

  I open my eyes, licking my swollen lips. “I can’t spend the night again, I need to get home.” I pop my head up and kiss him again.

  He laughs. “I’ll leave my car here. We can go to your place.”

  He nibbles me. The ache I feel for him almost hurts. Will this unquenchable desire ever fade into something more normal?

  “I need you,” he groans.

  I nod. “Me too.”