Lucifer's Game

by Rachael Tamayo

  I had no idea he was so concerned. Frankly, I’m touched.

  “Yep. That’s it. So, one more question. Have we talked about birth control? It’s a bad idea to get pregnant before you get your system back up and running. You will just lose it again. Not to mention the fact that you two aren’t even sure you are going to be together… and….” He looks to me.

  Andrew steps between us, breaking the gaze. “Don’t presume to know anything that happens between us. You have no say in any of this. Whatever you two had… I think that’s over.” Andrew looks to me, as if to confirm his claims.

  I wish that this table would open up and swallow me whole.

  “I need to work on this.” I say, quietly to Devin, meaning Andrew’s and my marriage, or the shambles that is left of it.

  “Well, birth control, nonetheless. Even if it’s for the short term. And, as far as what’s happening with me and Cora, I need to hear it from her, without you around. It’s the only way I’ll believe her.”

  Andrew huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, I bet.”

  “Look at her. You have her scared out of her mind, sitting here afraid to even say anything. You jerk her out of the car and throw her down on the ground, drag her home like a child. Then what happened? Did you ground her too?”

  Devin meets my eyes. “You okay, baby?”

  I flush what must be a deep shade of purple, and glance at Andrew, who appears murderous.

  “I’m fine.” The words are all but a whisper

  Andrew takes a step, getting in his face. “We are leaving. We came here for a diagnosis, not to watch you eye fuck her. Not to hear you tell me to put her on birth control so you can actually fuck her behind my back. If I find out you’ve touched her again, there will be blood.”

  His words are hushed and bone chilling.

  Devin grins at him. “You bet.” He reaches out and grabs my hand when I slide off the table. “I’ll be in touch, gorgeous.”

  I pull my hand away.

  They face off, silently, toe to toe. Before this gets out of hand, I grab Andrew, my small hands around his muscled forearm, and I drag him.

  “Let’s go, please.”

  Andrew turns to me with rage in his eyes. “I swear to god, if you let this guy touch you one more time, you’ll never see me again. I’m not dealing with this.”

  A cold chill runs down my spine.

  “Let’s go, we can talk outside.”

  Once again, the ride is silent. At this point I wish he’d yell at me. Anything is better than this.

  To my surprise he pulls into Marilyn’s apartment complex, where my car is still parked and turns off the engine. The silence falls heavy between us.

  “I’m going back to Eric’s,” he says, finally.

  Disappointment washes over me.

  “Oh, I thought maybe you were coming home.”

  “No, not yet. I…” He trails off, casting his gaze away from me into the distance.

  My heart falls heavily. I don’t know why I assumed he might be coming home after this.

  “Will you stop?” he asks, quietly.

  “I told you last night that I would. Will you come home?”

  Turning, he meets my eyes. Agony, regret, and anger float in them.

  “How can I come home when I don’t even know if you belong to me anymore?”

  Like a knife in the chest. I deserve it, I suppose. “I’ll always belong to you.”

  He looks down, shaking his head. “I thought so too, but now I don’t think that’s so certain. I know, it’s my fault. I’ll have to deal with that, but I can’t move forward thinking I might be sharing you. I won’t do that. You could have told him today that it was over, that you loved me, but you just sat there. So he’s thinking you’re still with him, and you let him. I need more than that from you.”

  “Andrew, I was just so scared seeing you both there like that. I was worried you’d end up fighting. It wasn’t that I-”

  He pulls the keys out and hands them to me. “Are you still worth fighting for?”

  The question takes all the air out of my lungs.

  “I hope so.”

  “We will talk soon.”

  I guess that’s his way of ending this conversation. All I can do is squeak out a goodbye, and get out of the car. He watches me cross to mine and get in. He doesn’t pull away until I do.

  ***

  Devin

  We ride, hidden, in the backseat of Cora’s car as she heads home looking thoughtful. Xander leans close to me, hissing in my ear like a pissed off snake. He has a handful of my hair, my head jerked back.

  “You let her leave. I told you not to let her go with him. You’re lucky I was watching and know that nothing happened. If she ends up pregnant, I’ll skin you over, and over, and over again.”

  I glance at him out of the corner of my eyes. I know he means it, because he’s done it before. Literally.

  Eternity is fun that way.

  “You told me to make her think I was all loving and understanding, so I did. If I forced her to stay with me it would undo all that,” I argue.

  He lets my hair go with a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers as if I’ve exasperated him, like a child does a parent.

  “You are a moron, I swear.” He sighs. “These two are in love and, that, by itself could ruin us, if he chooses to forgive her. I don’t care what you have to do to stop that from happening. He only specified that we can’t hurt her, everything else is open. Use your sick imagination.”

  “I need time to think. Look at her, she’s torn up. Lovesick now.” I have to figure out how to get back in. “I can’t lose her after being so close.”

  “Yes. Like I said, you want to keep her, don’t you?”

  In the worst way. “I’ve come too far to lose her now.”

  He nods. “Good, hold onto that. Maybe you should work on him, too. Make him hungry for someone else.”

  I don’t want to take my eyes off Cora. Knowing I have to obey, I agree. I suppose having my eyes on him is the next best thing. As long as I’m with one of them, they aren’t together.

  Chapter Twelve

  Andrew

  “What you need, my friend, is a night out.” Eric slaps me on the back.

  I take the letter that I wrote, which I found on my car under the windshield wiper, and toss it into a crumpled ball on the floor. So much for being honest. I should have known better.

  I look at him from where I lie on the couch without turning my head.

  “Honestly, that’s not a bad idea. I’m kind of sick of laying around here moping.” She sure as hell isn’t.

  “There you go. And I’m sick of seeing it. What happened anyway?”

  I sit up. “I’ll tell you after I’m too drunk to care.”

  ***

  The bar is dark and smoky, a cover band plays on a small stage not far from where we are sitting at a pub style table. Beer and shots of Crown Royal have loosened my tongue, and killed that part of my brain that hurts so much.

  “… I head to her best friend’s place looking for her, hoping she would be there just so I could keep an eye on her. I’m all relieved when I see her car there, right? I’m thinking… maybe I can just sit here and wait and see when she leaves. So, I park, then I see her fucking feet up on the window in the back seat of her car. I get out and find her fucking that douche. He’s on top of her, so I throw open the door and basically jerk her out of the car and she starts crying, half naked. I cover her with my shirt and the guy, who I find out is named Devin, gets out and tells me that I have no right to boss her around and he tries to get her to stay with him. I give him the finger, even though I want to cut his ass open and watch him bleed to death, and leave with her.”

  Eric watches me with wide eyes as he takes a long drink from a beer. I take a shot and keep talking.

  “So, I get her home and she’s all crying and I tell her to go shower. She reeks of his cologne and it’s making me sick, right? So, she does. And
I tell her that I don’t understand what’s going on and that he is treating her with no respect at all, and the Cora that I love would never put up with that. But, at this point, I’m so damn tired that I can’t think anymore so I tell her that I want to stay.”

  “So, you stayed? Did you-”

  “No, hell no. It’s been forever, but no. I couldn’t after seeing that. I needed to touch her though, like be in my own bed. I woke up and she was all wrapped around me.”

  I continue and tell him about the doctor visit, how we parted ways, the letter, I take another shot.

  Eric sits back, regarding me with a head cocked to one side before he drains his beer.

  “Well, sounds like you are confused as hell to me.” He laughs.

  “Tell me about it. I want to go home. I want to kick his ass and her ass and my own ass for letting all this happen.” I laugh, too buzzed to feel anything but the irony.

  “I can kick your ass for you. I wanted to when you showed up at my door over this bullshit.”

  I nod, flagging down the waitress. “I should have let you. I have to go pee.”

  I order another round and stand up, crossing the bar and weaving through drunk, dancing women on the dance floor to make my way to the men’s room. I slam right into a petite red head, who turns with wide, laughing eyes and looks up at me.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry.” She giggles, staring up at me with bright green eyes.

  She tosses her long hair over her shoulder.

  “No problem.” I smile.

  She has on tight jeans and a halter top that shows off ample curves and a pierced belly button. She looks barely twenty one, and she grabs my hand when I go to walk around her.

  “Wait, dance with me.”

  I pause, turning. She smiles, shaking her hips in time to the music.

  “Come on, just one dance. What’s your name?”

  I can’t hear her now, over the swell of the music. I shake my head.

  She hops up on her tiptoes and presses her lips to my ear.

  “What’s your name?”

  Her breath sends a shiver down my spine; she smells like cinnamon, vanilla, and beer.

  “Andrew.”

  “Hi, I’m Peyton. I’ve never seen you here before,” she speaks into my ear again.

  I look down, meeting her eyes.

  “Dance with me,” she mouths, grabbing my hand again, smiling, biting her lip.

  Crap.

  “I don’t dance, sweetie.” I laugh.

  “Then buy me a drink.”

  If Cora did it, why can’t I?

  I shift my weight, just drunk enough to entertain the idea for a moment, but deep down knowing I likely won’t follow through. I hold up my left hand.

  “I’m married, babe.”

  She sticks out her lip in a mock pout. “You can still buy me a drink.”

  “I have to pee.”

  “What?”

  I bend, close to her ear, getting a spectacular shot of ample cleavage.

  “I have to pee.”

  She laughs at me as I stand back up, struggling to lift my intoxicated eyes from her breasts. I can see by her face she knows it too. She waves at me, wiggling her fingers as I turn to walk off, laughing.

  When I exit the bathroom, I head back across the floor not seeing her, Peyton.

  Well shit, that’s because she’s at my table, with Eric, doing my shot with her friend.

  I stop walking and blow out a breath. Eric sees me and raises an eyebrow at me.

  “So you like Crown, huh?” I ask, watching her set the glass back on the table that I bought for myself.

  She smiles, sliding up close to me. I glance at my cousin, who watches me with curious eyes.

  “It’s okay,” she shrugs. “Where is your wife?” She fingers the ring on my left hand.

  I look up, she thrusts her chest out slightly.

  Eric eyes me with a smile behind his beer. He’s no fool, he knows just what’s up here.

  “She’s at home.” I hope.

  “Why didn’t she come with you?” She tilts her head at me. “She let you out to play often?”

  I take a deep breath. Cora is the only woman I’ve ever been with. I fell for her at fifteen, we got together at nineteen, and she’s been the only woman I’ve ever touched. At this point, after all this time, I can’t imagine what it might be like to undress another woman.

  Seems like this one is interested though.

  “I don’t go out often,” I finally offer.

  “That’s a shame. So what do you do?”

  “I’m a welder.” When I show up to work, that is.

  She bites her lip again, gives me a sexy look and turns my hand over.

  “I bet you’re good with your hands.”

  She’s cute, damn cute. I can almost see myself taking that tiny top off her, but I’d hate myself for it later.

  But god, it’s been over three months.

  As tempting as retaliation is, it won’t fix a damn thing. I look down at this woman that is eyeing me like candy on Christmas, and all I can think about is the evening I came home from work and found Cora sobbing on the bathroom floor, covered in blood. She’d lost another baby. Our baby. I’ve got five kids in heaven. Sons or daughters that would have called me daddy. Little faces that I’d watch her rocking to sleep every night snuggled in one of the baby blankets she has stashed that she thinks I don’t know about. I know about all the baby stuff she buys and hides. I let her, because it hurts me too, I just don’t know how to show her that my heart is broken too.

  ***

  “I’ll be back in a minute.” I get up and head outside, dialing my phone.

  “Hello.” Cora’s voice sounds sleepy.

  “Hey.” I struggle not to slur.

  “Andrew, it’s late, are you okay?” A yawn.

  “I’m fine. Where are you?”

  “Home, and yes I’m alone. It’s nice to be in the silence after this week.” She laughs lightly.

  “I’m in a bar with Eric.” I lean on the brick wall and look up at the stars. Her voice makes me want to go home.

  “You sound like you’ve been drinking. I’m glad you still think of me when you’re drunk.”

  “I can’t help it.” I inhale. “There is a woman here hitting on me.”

  She takes in a breath and her tone changes a bit. “Is that so? Is she cute?”

  I laugh out loud at her. It’s just the kind of question she’d have asked me if I said this to her a year ago.

  “Yeah, she’s hot. Like twenty-one with big tits.”

  “Hmm, sounds tempting. So what are you going to do?”

  “Go outside like a loser and call my wife.” I lower my voice.

  “Andy?”

  “What?”

  “I miss you so much.”

  The whisper sends my heart into arrhythmia and my guts into my shoes. I’m not sure how much more willpower I have. I’ve got half a mind to go home, kick in the door, and show her why she’s mine.

  “Cora, I miss you too.”

  “Why don’t you stay there, and I’ll meet you. Where are you?”

  “The Hills on Fourth.”

  “Stay there, dance with her or something, and I’ll be right there.”

  I grin. This is the Cora I haven’t seen in a long, long time.

  ***

  Forty minutes later, I spot her. Peyton is at my side, giggling at everything I say when I look up. Cora.

  She walks in wearing a pair of tight jeans, stiletto boots, and a sparkly, red tank top that shows off her body spectacularly. Her hair is tousled and sexy, and her make up done.

  She eyes me, gives me a wink and goes to the bar, orders a white wine.

  Memories flood my mind. We’ve played this game before. It’s been at least two years, and it always led to mind blowing sex when we got home. That is, if we made it home.

  We’ve had sex in the back seat on the side of the road more than once after this charade.

  A few mi
nutes later, she walks up to our table and Eric’s eyes widen. I grin at him.

  “Pardon me, I don’t ever do this, but I noticed you from across the bar. Can I get you a drink?” she asks me.

  I grin at her, my heart pounds.

  Fuck I’ve missed playing with her.

  “Um, sure. Thanks, what’s your name?”

  And so the game goes. Peyton gets the hint after a few minutes and takes off. Eric pats me on the back and tells me he’s going home, leaving me in her hands for the night.

  It’s almost midnight by that time, and we are alone at the table talking like nothing ever happened.

  Cora stands up, setting her glass down and positioning her body between my spread legs. She touches my chest, smoothing the buttons on my shirt.

  “So, where are you staying tonight, handsome?”

  I smile, aching to kiss her. Her painted lips are so tempting as she sinks her teeth into them, her delicate fingers drawing trails on my chest.

  “Depends on who’s offering.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Cora

  He hasn’t looked at me like this in so long. It’s making me brave, braver than I would have been this morning after everything. His steel colored eyes are heavy with want, yet soft with emotions he’s unable to hide from me.

  He still loves me.

  He might reject me, but I have to try.

  I lean in, watching his eyes, watching the smile grow on his mouth as I move in close to whisper in his ear. “Come home with me.”

  I pull back, close enough for a kiss, but instead staring into his eyes. He looks down at my lips, licking his. His hand slips up my arm, sending lightening through my body.

  “Are you alone? Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks, softly. I know he’s playing the game, but asking me about Devin at the same time.

  I put my hand on his hard thigh. “No, no boyfriend. No one but you.”

  A spark returns to his eyes that I’ve missed as he rises, drawing my eye upwards to follow his form as he stands up.

  “Lead the way.”

  I smile, bite my lip, and take him by the hand to lead him to my car.

  ***

  We stand in the living room at home, and he still hasn’t kissed me. I’m aching for the taste of his lips, almost enough to ask him if he’s going to keep teasing me. Instead, I kick off my shoes, and he finally speaks.