Chasing the Sun

by Tracie Peterson

  She picked up the rings. One she recognized as having belonged to her mother. The other had been worn by Andy and Marty’s mother. They were wedding rings. She hadn’t realized that her father had removed them before burying the women he loved.

  She touched the circular gold of her mother’s ring. There were four garnet stones set atop the small band. Hannah slipped the ring onto her right hand and felt her eyes dampen with tears.

  “Oh, Mama, how I wish you were here. You would know exactly what needs to be done.”

  She unfolded the piece of paper. It wasn’t a letter, but rather a map of some sort. Her father had drawn it out by hand and put a dozen or so marks on the paper. There were also numbers and abbreviated words. She had no idea what it was supposed to represent. With a shrug she refolded the paper.

  She replaced the gold, paper, and rings back in the pouch and forced the sadness aside. She had to think—she had to make a plan. There was still the question of where she should go. Hannah knew she didn’t want to stay in Cedar Springs, and she definitely didn’t want to go back to Dallas. A larger city would afford her more opportunities for work, but would also present more danger and problems.

  She thought of William Barnett and felt an ache deep in her heart. She hadn’t loved another since losing her beau in Vicksburg. Now, given the way she felt about William, she wasn’t sure that she ever really understood what love really was. With her former beau she had been a child—barely a woman. As such her ideals and beliefs were simplistic and unchallenged. Taking on the responsibility for her siblings had changed that. So, too, the war. Now she was alone for the first time in her life, and she had to make a decision about her future. The ability to control her choices was hers for the taking. But, after all this time of longing for that power, Hannah felt it a hollow victory.

  Gazing to the ceiling, Hannah prayed. “O Father, I don’t know what to do or where to go. I know I must leave, but it is breaking my heart. However, I know if I don’t go before William comes back, it will break my heart even more. I can’t imagine facing him and still having the strength to leave.”

  William’s leg throbbed in pain. He’d tried to ease the misery by applying some warm compresses, but even that only helped for a moment. He rubbed at the site of his wound and remembered the feel of the bullet tearing through his flesh. The shock of that impact had left him unable to move for a moment. He felt his leg muscle rip and the bone shatter. He could taste the blood in his mouth from where he’d bit his lip when the bullet had hit.

  “You look awfully deep in thought there, Will.”

  Tyler motioned to the barn around them. “Pretty nice accommodations, given what we’ve been havin’, eh?”

  “Yeah,” William admitted.

  A family named Montague had taken them in and allowed them to hide the cattle and themselves in a large storage barn that had once been used for cotton. Tyler had met with Mr. Montague some time ago and arranged for him to quarter off the back portion of the barn so that they could corral the longhorns on their trip to the East.

  Mr. Montague had informed them that very evening that Union troops had been sighted as near as twenty miles away. He didn’t know if a battle was going to take place or if the soldiers had merely been forward scouts for a much larger group of men. Either way, they weren’t going to be able to drive the cattle on without a great deal more difficulty.

  “So, the way I see it, we need to make a decision about the cattle,” Tyler continued.

  “What’s to decide? We can’t press forward.”

  “Should we turn back then? Take the cattle with us? Leave them here?”

  William had already thought it through. “The renegades make it too dangerous to go back. We’re only three miles from Monroe. I say we drive the cattle on to town and leave them there.”

  Tyler considered that idea for a moment. “Or I could arrange to leave them here until things cool down a bit. That would give us time to know whether there’s going to be a battle.”

  “I need to get back home. Judge Peevy promised me an answer by the first of the year and that’s already come and gone. I want to get back to Dallas and talk to him, and then I need to talk to Hannah.”

  “It’s about time,” Tyler teased. “You gonna get up the gumption to propose?”

  “First I need for her to know the truth about Vicksburg,” William said. “Her reaction to that will let me know if we can even consider a proposal.”

  “She’s a good woman,” Tyler said, plucking a piece of hay from a nearby bale. “The truth will show her you’re a good man.”

  “I’d like to believe that,” William said, shaking his head, “but she’s been through an awful lot. I couldn’t blame her if she wanted no part of me.”

  Tyler grinned. “Well, if she wants no part of you, tell her to come see me.”

  William’s brow rose. “You’d best watch how you talk. I could decide to get jealous.” He smiled and lay back against his bedroll.

  “Guess I’ll take first watch.” Tyler got to his feet. “You just stay there and dream those sweet dreams of Hannah Dandridge.”

  “I won’t dream at all if you don’t shut up,” William said, pulling his hat down over his eyes.

  It was sometime later when Tyler woke him up. “I hear something.”

  William jumped up and quickly reached for his rifle. “I’ll go up,” he said, pointing to the loft.

  Tyler nodded and motioned to the stack of hay. “I’ll be in there.”

  They went quickly to their places and waited. It wasn’t long before the door to the barn creaked open. William aimed his rifle for the opening and waited.

  “Lieutenant? You in here?” a voice called out. “It’s me, Grubbs. Sidley is here, too.”

  William heard Tyler moving below. “I’m here,” Tyler announced.

  A lantern was lit and soon revealed the two men. William came down the ladder just as Corporal Grubbs explained their plight.

  “Got into trouble north of Flower Point. Union soldiers caught wind of the cattle and that was the end of it. Sidley and me, we barely managed to get away. Figured to see if you’d made it this far yet. Talked to Montague at the house, and he said you was here.”

  “You very nearly made it to the Mississippi River,” Tyler said, shaking his head. “We’re not even going to get that far.”

  “No sir, you won’t,” Grubbs said. “That’s why we was hopin’ to find you. There’s too many troops guarding the river. Ain’t no chance to get them animals ferried across. There are a sight more patrols than when we went west, and I don’t reckon they’re gonna stop anytime soon.”

  “We’ve seen our share of renegade Yankees. Guess we’re gonna have to get back to the captain and figure another way to smuggle in food.” Tyler looked to William. “Since Grubbs and Sidley are here with me, you can feel free to head back anytime you like.”

  William nodded. That was the only encouragement he needed. Having had a few hours of sleep, he was more than happy to get back in the saddle. Tyler followed him to where William squatted down to gather his things.

  “I want to thank you for what you’ve done.”

  “What I tried to do, anyway,” William said, glancing up at his friend.

  “I’ll see to it that the captain knows about your help.”

  William shook his head. “Don’t. There’s no need. I wanted to help the hungry, not further the cause for either side. I’m sick of this war.”

  “I guess we all are.”

  Standing, William gave Tyler a smile. “Come see me after the war. You can stay on at my place while you rebuild yours.”

  Tyler nodded and the two men embraced. William gave Tyler a slap on the back as he pulled away. “Catch ya later, Johnny Reb.”

  “Not if I catch you first, Billy Yank,” Tyler countered with a grin.

  23

  But you must not go,” Juanita insisted. Hannah put the last of their bags in the back of the wagon and Juanita continued to repeat her co
ncerns. “It is too . . . how you . . . danger . . .”

  “Dangerous,” Hannah replied and turned to face her friend. “I know the dangers quite well. I have no choice. We will first let Mr. Lockhart know about the letter and then move on to hear what the judge has to say. I cannot suppose that it will be news in my favor, however.”

  She looked at the few things they had packed. “If we might impose upon you to keep the rest of our things until we can send for them, I’d be grateful.”

  “Of course, but you wait for Mr. Will. He not want you to risk this. He want you and Andy and Marty to stay here.”

  Juanita had taken hold of her arm, and Hannah put her hand over the woman’s smooth brown skin. “I have to go, Juanita. I think you know why I feel this way. My heart . . . well . . . if I don’t go now, I might well make a fool of myself.”

  “To be a fool for love is not so bad,” the older woman replied with a smile. “You and Mr. Will, you need each other.”

  “But don’t you see? If I stay and declare my feelings for him, he will just think I’m doing it because of the ranch. I can’t have him believe that of me.”

  Juanita shook her head vigorously. “No. No that is wrong. Mr. Will not think that. I know he care for you.”

  Hannah wanted to believe this, but it didn’t really matter. There were so many obstacles to their love. An entire war stood between them.

  Andy and Marty came dragging from the house. Their expressions were evidence of their unhappiness at Hannah’s decision. Marty ran the last few feet and wrapped her arms around Hannah.

  “I don’t want to go,” she told her sister.

  “I know.” Hannah let go of her hold on Juanita and lifted Marty in her arms. “But God has a plan for us, and we need to find out what it is.”

  “Maybe His plan is to just stay here,” Marty suggested.

  Hannah looked at the little girl and shrugged. “If God wants us to stay here then He’ll make that clear.”

  “How?” Marty asked.

  Andy said nothing as he climbed into the wagon seat. He was a different boy since the loss of their father. Hannah lifted Marty into the wagon and sighed.

  “If God wants us to stay here,” she told them, “then He will bring us back.”

  Juanita handed her a lap blanket, and Hannah passed it up to the children. “I hope we can send for the rest of our things and the milk cows once we’re settled,” she said, hoisting her skirts to climb into the wagon. She glanced to the back to recheck that Andy’s horse was tied to the wagon.

  “You wait until the men return. They come back today—maybe tomorrow,” Juanita said, her tone pleading. “You wait.”

  Hannah shook her head. She had purposefully decided to leave while Berto and the others were out checking on the cattle. “In a few days the judge will wonder why William failed to show up. I want to make sure we are there on his account. He shouldn’t lose his family’s ranch just because he didn’t know to be there. I owe him that much.”

  Pepita came to join her mother. She was every bit as downcast as the others. Juanita put her arm around the girl and hugged her close. Hannah would miss them more than she cared to admit.

  “Juanita, you have been as dear as a sister to me. I pray God blesses you with His protection and peace.”

  “I pray for you,” Juanita said, unable to hold back her tears. “I pray He bring you back to us.”

  Hannah nodded and wiped a stray tear of her own. “I would very much like that.” She released the brake and snapped the reins. The same matched bays that had brought her and her family to Texas—to this ranch—were now taking her away. Only this time, Hannah had no idea where the road would take them. They’d come west “chasing the sun,” as her grandmother and father had once said. She glanced up at the dull skies.

  “We just didn’t know the sun would elude us.”

  “What did you say?” Marty asked, huddling closer to Hannah.

  She smiled. “Nothing important.” She looked over to her brother. “So are you two ready for a great adventure?”

  “What kind of adventure?” Marty asked.

  Andy remained uncommunicative and stared off toward the horizon. Hannah could only guess what he might be thinking. How she wished she could offer him comfort and reassurance. She had promised Andy that one day they would go and find their father’s grave and have the body moved back to Vicksburg, where he could be laid to rest with their mothers. It seemed to offer him some degree of peace.

  Hannah could only hope that Mr. Lockhart would have the answers she needed. She knew he wouldn’t accept the fact that she intended to leave the area. For that reason she had told the children to say nothing to him about their plans. She would let him know about the meeting with the judge in Dallas, but that was all.

  They rode in silence for a good long time. Hannah wanted to find a way to reach Andy, but she knew it wouldn’t happen if she forced him to talk before he was ready. They were still a good three miles from town when he surprised her, however.

  “Do you think Pa is in heaven?” he asked.

  “I do,” Hannah replied. “Or wherever Paradise might be. Jesus told the thief on the cross that he would be with Jesus that very day in Paradise.”

  “But Pa was mad at God. He told me so. Does God forgive you when you’re mad at Him?”

  Hannah considered his question for a moment. “I believe God is a loving and just God. He knows when our hearts are burdened and we don’t understand. He considers our hearts and the motives we have for every action. I think God forgives us for our confusion and misunderstandings. I think He knows,” she told the children as much as herself, “that we are weak and human and we make so very many mistakes. But I know God loves us in spite of this.”

  “But how can you be sure, Hannah?” Andy questioned. “Isn’t being mad at God like denying God? I remember my Sunday school teacher said that denying God was a sin that couldn’t be forgiven.”

  The thought of this alarmed Hannah momentarily. She found herself praying for wisdom, and then it came to her as clear as any truth could be. “But that can’t be true. Peter denied Jesus three times and Jesus forgave him. Jesus even knew Peter was going to do this well ahead of time. Do you remember?”

  Andy shook his head, so Hannah continued. “When they were about to take Jesus prisoner, Peter wanted to fight. He said he would defend Jesus to the death, but Jesus knew that Peter was weak and human.”

  “Just like us?” Marty asked.

  Hannah glanced at her sister. “Yes. Just like us. Jesus said Peter would deny him, but Peter said it would never happen. Then later, after they’d taken Jesus, some people recognized Peter and said, ‘Hey, he’s one of Jesus’ friends.’ Peter was terrified. He told the people he wasn’t a friend to Jesus. He did it three times, and when he realized that he had done exactly what Jesus said he would do, Peter’s heart was broken.”

  Andy shook his head. “But how do you know He forgave Peter?”

  “Because later, after the wicked men put Jesus to death on the cross—after He was buried and rose from the dead—Jesus went to His disciples. He sat with them and talked to them. He talked to Peter about whether or not Peter loved Him and would serve Him. He loved Peter very much, even though Peter had denied Jesus. I believe God loves us so much that when we ask Him for forgiveness, He gives it. It’s His gift to us.”

  “We’re in for it now,” Andy said, pointing to the north, where the land rose up in a series of small wavelike hills.

  His change of subject surprised her almost as much as the problem he’d pointed to. Hannah saw the entirety of the hill fill with mounted Comanche and Kiowa warriors. They were wearing their war shirts, and while Hannah couldn’t make out the details of their faces to any degree, they appeared to be painted for battle. Pulling back on the reins, Hannah halted the horses.

  “Get in the back,” she told the children. “Get under our bags and pull the feed sacks close. Stay down no matter what happens.”

  �
��Are we gonna die?” Marty asked, starting to cry. “Are they going to shoot us with arrows?”

  “I hope not,” Hannah said. “I would hope they have heard that we are their friends—that we want only to live in peace.” She kept her sights fixed on the strengthening band and then back to the road. There was no hope of outrunning these mounted warriors. She could neither make it to town without them catching up to her, nor could she turn the wagon around and head back to the ranch without interception.

  God, she prayed silently, please send your angels to protect us. Help us now, Father, for we are all alone.

  Andy had already climbed over the seat into the back of the wagon, but Marty clung to Hannah. Prying the little girl’s hands from her arm, Hannah smiled.

  “God knows what we need, Marty. He’s watching over us.”

  “He was watching over Pa, too,” Andy added from behind her, “but that didn’t do no good.”

  She looked over her shoulder at the boy. “God alone knows the truth, Andy. But He promised in the Bible that He would never leave us or forsake us. He didn’t say we wouldn’t have trouble.” She looked back to the Indians, who had stopped advancing. They merely sat there, watching. Their silence and stillness were enough to make Hannah even more nervous.

  “Marty, please do as I’ve asked,” Hannah said. “I’m going to start for town very slowly and see what the Indians do.”

  The little girl began to sob. “Don’t let them shoot you, Hannah.”

  “I won’t.”

  Her sister reluctantly climbed into the back and took her place beside Andy. Hannah waited until both of them were lying flat before urging the horses forward once again. They had only gone about fifty yards, however, when two of the warriors broke from the gathering and started toward them. Hannah swallowed the dusty lump in her throat. No matter what happened in the next few minutes, she knew she had to be strong for Marty and Andy.