The Yankee Gentleman and His Southern Belle

by Tammy Lynn

  “I know we have to talk, and I know what you’re going to say.”

  EJ placed his fingers over her mouth. “No talking right now. I just want to feel you against me, to know that I actually have you in my arms. Lay back down, Kitten. It’s early yet, you have no where to be but here.”

  Kitten’s mind kicked into gear. Actually, I can’t lay back down. Doc is bringing back the horses this morning, and I have to make sure everything is there, that it’s all right.”

  EJ looked at her, a little hurt at first, but understanding. “I do understand, but I would think that you would want to be with me as much as possible before I have to leave.”

  Kitten kissed him softly, slowly. Her eyes, going from dark blue to ice blue within a matter of seconds looked at him. “Baby, don’t get me wrong. I love you here, loving me, holding me, keeping the nightmares at bay, but I do have a plantation to run. Randall and Avery help me, but those horses are my responsibility, always have been, always will be. I take care of them each and every day, no one else, but me. I know they are getting the very best and dammit I won’t let that be compromised, even as much as I want to stay in bed with you all day. I hope you do understand.”

  EJ held her tightly, listening to the passion in her voice. “Kitten, I said I understand, but it hurt to hear you say your horses over me. I do understand.”

  Within twenty minutes they were downstairs, watching at the plantation come to life. The sun rising through the trees washing the land in pinks, reds, and golds, hinting at another hot day.

  Kitten stood in the circle of EJ’s arms, knowing this is where she wanted to be for the rest of her life, but knowing that by this evening that he would be gone. One glorious night she had with him and she had to resign herself to the fact that that’s all she would ever have.

  “Quit thinking of the future. Let’s enjoy this day, love.”

  A long three hours later she heard Doc’s truck pulling up with the horses. Getting each one into the paddock was a chore, but they did it, and it felt so right to Kitten. The only one missing was Shilo.

  “He’ll be back soon, Kitten.” Doc left and EJ knew it was time.

  “Do you have anything you have to do right now, or can we talk?”

  Kitten had a lot to do, but knew this had to be done. “Let’s go over to where the picnic table is set up in the shade. She pointed to a spot under the huge Oak tree and they walked hand in hand.

  Sitting down EJ didn’t know where to start. “I couldn’t leave yesterday without holding you once more. There will always be something between us, our ancestors has told us that over and over, but there is more. I feel what you do, I can sense what you’re thinking, when you’re thinking it. Kitten, I do love you, but I made a vow years ago to stand by my wife.”

  Kitten started to talk, but EJ held up his hand.

  “I know it will hurt when I leave, but I will be back.”

  Kitten took his hand and smiled, a little sadly. “I know EJ.” Her voice, softer than normal, made him stare longingly at her. “Candra is your wife, your life you have made with her. You found me, and just like every other Chamberlain man fell in love with a Chambers woman. Miss Victoria was strong, had to be, to live in the times she did, go through what she did. Living with Josh for two years I understand their connection. What I don’t understand, cannot possibly understand is why each generation has come here and fallen for each generation thereafter. It’s not possible, but yet it happened. There is no Earthly reason I should have fallen for you, except for what I’ve read and maybe that’s why I did. All I know is I can’t take more of this. I can’t see you, make love with you, hold you in my arms, and then watch you walk away, but I also won’t beg. If your life is with Candra, then you need to make a decision, Hell, EJ, you need to make a decision both ways. Either with me, or with Candra.”

  EJ looked at Kitten. Her fingers were playing with a piece of loose wood on the picnic table. “Kitten, that’s just it. I love her and I love you. I don’t know what to do. She told me to make that decision and I can’t do it. I can’t hurt either one of you.”

  Kitten stood up walked around and put her hands on his face, tracing the outlines of his eyes, brushing back some of the gray by his temples, then she leaned down and very gently, so it was only a whisper of a touch, barely there, kissed his lips, then his cheek. “I do love you, like I said, but I won’t beg. I’ll be here if you ever come back, and I’ll love you for all eternity, I want you to remember that always.” Kitten walked away leaving a stunned EJ sitting on the bench with his head in his hands. EJ wondered how things went from a hard talk to her walking away. Yes, she had some points but he knew that they could have easily gotten around the problems. Slamming his hand on the table he looked up toward the Heavens and said, “Love shouldn’t be about breaking someone’s heart, it should be about keeping that heart together. Why is this so hard?”

  As the breeze blew through the trees he spied Kitten going to the stables, to her horses. Getting up he walked well behind her, wanting to watch her with them, hoping to figure out what the Hell he was going to do. Getting out a white horse he remembered named Envie, she walked over to the newly erected fence and climbed up to the top. He wanted to wring her pretty little neck. He thought he made it clear that it was too dangerous for her.

  Walking at a fast pace he went ahead to the arena to where Kitten was already on the top railing, motioning Envie to her and then to stay. Kitten slid onto the saddle and he was amazed at how steady the horse was. There was no way he was letting her ride out of his life, although thinking about it, the life they were living were as far apart as they could be.

  Going into the stables, he found the large stallion Arabia, saddled him up and within minutes he was flying across the pasture hoping he could catch up with Kitten. Spying her down by the pond, the horse wading through the water, he jumped off as he approached her.

  “Kitten, we need to finish this.”

  She had already heard the galloping of the hooves so him there was no surprise, but what was was Arabia. “You rode him here? You rode Arabia?” Kitten walked over to him, taking the reins and holding on tightly. “Do you have any idea about this horse?”

  EJ couldn’t care less about talking about the horse and told her so.

  When she continued looking back and forth between the two she smiled. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t.”

  EJ looked again at her. “Why are we still talking about him for?”

  Kitten walked to EJ, putting her hand on his chest. “No one can ride Arabia. How did you?”

  EJ shook his head. “I put a blanket, then I put a saddle, then I put the bridle on, hopped on and rode him over here.”

  “EJ you don’t get it. No one, not one person has been able to ride him. You’re the only one who’s been able to. When Jaret took Shilo, it wasn’t just because Mama gave it to him, it’s because he was the only one able to ride him. When you go home, take Arabia with you. A gift from me.” Kitten took the reins and handed them to EJ. She then walked over to the pond and sat on the bank, watching the flies hit on the surface.

  “Kitten would it be so hard for us to make this work?”

  Kitten threw the rock she had been holding. Turning around, her hair flying behind her, she walked to within an inch of him. “What part don’t you get? There is no “us”. There is you, there is me, there is Candra, but that’s it.” Taking a deep breath before doing something really stupid she continued.

  “You know when Josh left Miss Victoria he was going to marry her, but they weren’t able to do that until later on in life. Miss Lily and Elijah I have no clue if they found each other again. Mama and Jaret were lucky, but they’re in their eighties now. Is that how we’re going to be? Are we going to be eighty years-old, dentures falling out, hunched over when we finally get to say our vows? Are we going to watch our children, mine and yours come into each other’s lives and fall for the same curse as we have? EJ, read my lips. Take Arabia, bring back Shilo or
ship him back via your dad, I don’t care. We don’t have a relationship, so stay away. Don’t think of me, don’t contact me, just stay away, do you get it?”

  EJ saw red and went over to her, grabbing her by the arms. “Yeah, Kitten, I get it, but I also get this.” His lips crashed down on hers as he lifted her up and lay her on the bank of the pond. “I get that every time we’re together this happens and I never want it to end. I get everything, and by God I will make sure that I have you until the day I die. Hell, even then I don’t want to leave you.” He kissed her again, but didn’t have to force himself on her, she lifted up and kissed him first.

  “EJ, I’m sorry. If this is all we can have, us stealing sacred minutes together, then I don’t want it. I’m sorry.”

  Kitten wrenched out from underneath him called to Envie and, with the help of the stump, mounted him and rode toward the stables.

  EJ walked back over to Arabia and mounted him, riding back, dejected, knowing there was no reasoning with Kitten.

  She stayed away, taking her meal in her room and finding Elijah’s journal to read. She wanted to know what happened. Just as she picked up the journal her cell phone chirped. “Hello?”

  “I won’t come in. I just wanted to say good-night.” Kitten leaned back, Elijah’s journal in hand. “EJ, I know it started out as a good day and ended bad, but just listen, okay? If you were in my place, would you care to be the lover on the side, or would you want to be in my life, every day, all day, seeing the joy, the sorrow, the tears, and the laughter?”

  “You know the answer to that Kitten, and I wish I could, but I can’t.”

  “I know.” Kitten closed the small phone and lay on her side, opening the journal. Entry after entry of missing Miss Lily and then the one she wanted to find. January 20, 1980- I will be arriving at Miss Lily’s very soon. I am so anxious to see her. Even though 35 years have passed, I know that not a day will have changed her in my eyes. We are older, we are wiser than what we were. I don’t think has ever been a day that went by that I never thought of my Lily. She will be 75 and I am 77. I hope and pray I find her alive. January 23, 1980- I am in Lily’s room. She told me to stay there until she could get her granddaughter Kitten off to school. Such a precocious child. From what I saw of Kitten, she’s going to be the exact replica of the Chambers’ women. Her laugh was like music, making me smile. I could hear her giving my Lily a hard time with a story about her teacher and how she was mean and if she really had to go back to school. Lily was so patient with her and when the door finally opened, Lily’s labored breath scared me. Her daughter Miss Alysia, was in town at her husband’s grave, having been gone only a couple of months. We went back down the stairs and sat in the study, my hand holding hers. I told her that neither one of us were committed to others that I wanted to marry her. Lily’s always practical mind took over and she told me that our advanced ages would play a large role. We wouldn’t be able to do things like we would if we were younger, but I didn’t care. I needed her in my life, if only for the short time we had left. Lily finally agreed. We were to get blood tests and our marriage license in the next few days. February 2, 1980- After all we have went through, we are going through with our marriage tomorrow. It has been a long struggle. We told Miss Alysia and I’ve met Kitten, played so many hours with her. She’s such a goodhearted child. She lets me rock her to sleep and at five years old she doesn’t understand the bedtime stories I tell her and I hope that when she grows up that her Chamberlain man will be single and will find the love that she has in her heart for him. We will be getting married at noon. I know that it will be a beautiful Monday. I kissed Kitten good-night, put her to bed, and told Miss Alysia that I would take good care of her mama before I went off to bed, waiting for my love to finish whatever it was she was doing. Tomorrow I will never have to wonder how my Miss Lily is ever again. She will be right here with me. February 3, 1980-This morning dawned bright and clear. Kitten was allowed to stay out of school and Miss Alysia was radiant in the dress that I had bought for her. My darling Lily held the roses I had picked for her from the garden. We exchanged vows and then we came home for a celebration here at Tara. I’m in Lily’s room, leaving her my gift to her on her bed. I had to write this before I left the room. To tell future generations just how amazingly happy I am. There are

  That’s where the pages ended. There were blank pages after that, but nothing. Looking at the binding she saw no pages ripped out. What was he going to say? Pulling the journals from the 1980’s from Miss Lily’s collection, which she hadn’t read yet, she flipped to the date only to find words written in black tear stained ink. He’s Gone- We had finally broken the curse. We got married today. February 3, 1980 and it was the happiest day of my life. I came upstairs to get my gift that he wanted to give me in private before going back to the reception. He was laying so peaceful on the bed, the box in his hand. I thought he dozed off. I picked up the box and saw the diamond ring inside. It looked like an old miners cut diamond in platinum. The note inside was from 1945. Lily’s diamond. I will forever hold your fire in my heart, like the fire is held inside this diamond. I love you forever. I picked up the diamond and saw the fire sparkling in the sun. I reached out to touch his face and it was chilled. He didn’t move. I called his name. He stayed still. His lips brought forth no breath and I knew in my heart he was gone. My Elijah was gone. I want to go. I can’t live without him. Please, Lord, take me away to be with him. Please. Don’t make me live the rest of my years without him. Don’t let the colors be gone from my life. Goodbye- I haven’t written in this journal in over three years. It’s August 18, 1983 and I am so tired. Kitten is turning into a beautiful girl and I have no doubt that she will be just as beautiful inside and out as her mama. I am going to miss her and my daughter, but I feel the time has come for me to leave. I hear his voice in my head, telling me it’s okay to go now. Telling me to lay down and sleep the sleep of the tired. I want to go, but I don’t want to leave my girls. Give me a sign what to do. The sun has come out from behind the clouds. It has been storming all week, but now there is sunlight streaming through the blackness, like a beacon calling me home. I can’t fight anymore. I want to go. I want

  Kitten’s tears poured down her face, dropping onto the paper and spotting the words even more. Closing the book, she closed another chapter in her life. Looking at the clock she saw it was close to 2 a.m. Picking up her phone she pressed the number.

  “H’lo?”

  Kitten’s teary voice came over the line to him. “I don’t care what you give me as long as I can have you in my life. I love you, EJ.” EJ’s gasp came over the line. “I love you, too, Kitten.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kitten tossed and turned throughout the remaining nighttime hours until she couldn’t take it anymore. The dreams that came to her were of such a dark quality that it made her scared to sleep anymore. At four a.m. she was already in the kitchen drinking some juice and trying to figure out what she was going to do.

  Knowing she had emails to return, she went into the study and turned on the computer and brought up the email program. Many were from people who was glad the Tara survived the hurricane, but one caught her eye.

  Miss Kitten Chambers….Candra. Kitten opened the email kind of leery, not wanting anymore pain or disasters. I know EJ came back because of the Hurricane and he originally went there because of the tornado, but since he called me three days ago, I haven’t heard a word. I wanted to hate you Kitten. I wanted to yell and scream because I knew I would lose my husband the minute he set eyes on you. I’ve read everything except for your generations before you. I know that for some reason love has continued to exist throughout the years and it has embodied every Chambers’ woman for the last four generations. I wanted to somehow stop that, but I know I can’t. I know where his heart lies and I know where his duty lies. EJ is a very passionate, loving, energetic man and that’s what drew me to him in the first place. Over the last few years he has been reading the journals nonstop, trying
to make sense of what every man has wrote. I tried keeping him by telling him to go, thinking that is showed just how much love and faith I have in him. In doing that, I also know he got to know you, his Chambers’ woman, his “soul mate”, if there is such a thing, and his future. I should be sad, but I’ve known this day was going to come for years, I just never really believed in it. When and if he comes home I’m sending him back to you. I’m sending him where he belongs, with you. I don’t blame you, Kitten, and I don’t blame him. I’ve watched Jaret and your Mom together and you can positively feel the love vibrating off of them in waves. Sometimes I get so jealous because I’ve never felt it and if that’s the way it’s been, then EJ needs to be with you. It’s your time to be together. It’s time this curse is broken. As much as it will hurt to tell him good-bye, I’m going to have to do that. I will always love EJ, Kitten. I will always be there for him if he needs to talk and I’ll never be a threat because you are his….it’s been written in the stars long before now. (I think your Mom’s songs are running through my head, that’s one of her sayings.) I will miss him terribly, but I would like to keep a relationship with your Mom if that’s okay. She’s like the Mom I never had. Don’t tell EJ that I wrote this. I want to tell him in person. All my best, Candra.

  Kitten didn’t know what to reply, but knew she had to. Tapping her fingers on her desk it hit her what she had to write. It was almost like she was taking dictation as it came surely through her mind. Candra….Miss Kitten Chambers. I know the pain and the hurt you are going through, but I’m not breaking up a marriage because of a curse. I know EJ loves you and that he wants to be with you, not out of duty, either. Yes, for whatever reason, we did connect and I do love him, but it will never be. I will never destroy a marriage. I know that I haven’t acted appropriately and I’m deeply ashamed of that, but I also know that without you EJ wouldn’t have been him. Please don’t give up on your marriage. I’m sorry he hasn’t called, but he will be coming home tomorrow. You can have a relationship with Mama, that’s fine with me. I have no control over that aspect of her life. I only ask for one favor. Please, watch out for her. Anything, even slightly, happens, I want to be told immediately and I don’t care if she puts up a fuss about that. I won’t tell EJ, just promise to give him a chance to make up for what he’s done. I’ve done so much soul searching on this and yes, I know what I’m saying. By the way, I’m sending my black stallion Arabia home with him. EJ’s the only one that can handle or ride him properly. Kitten