Beware of the Giant Brain!

by Mark Young

  Odifin laughed. “You know what’s ludicrous? Your answer to that question, Newton!”

  “Odifin, be nice!” Shelly said. “Newton’s trying.”

  Newton, Shelly, Theremin, Odifin, Rotwang, and Higgy were in the library studying for the Brilliant Brains Trivia Competition, like they had every night for the last week. A few days before, Shelly had suggested that Newton and Rotwang sign up for the competition after all, since they were studying so much anyway. Newton agreed because he wanted to keep getting to know Odifin. Rotwang was thrilled to be competing, but Odifin made it clear he didn’t think either of them was a threat to his chances of winning.

  “I’m sorry, Newton, but I have to say I don’t understand why you’re not getting more of these questions right,” Odifin said. “I’ve seen you answer questions like some kind of genius in class. Which makes me think that my theory was correct: you’ve been cheating somehow.”

  Newton paused. He still hadn’t told Odifin about all of his strange abilities, including the “noodle noggin” thing. “It’s hard to explain, Odifin,” Newton said. “Sometimes I know the answers, and sometimes I don’t. But I’m not cheating.”

  “Newton would never cheat,” Shelly added. “He’s not like that.”

  “Okay, okay,” Odifin said. “I take it back. You’re not a cheater. You’re just not very smart.”

  But Newton heard a teasing tone in Odifin’s mechanical voice, and he grinned. “Yeah, well, I’m working on it.”

  Just then Tabitha Talos walked by with her nose in a book. She didn’t see Odifin and tripped over the wheels of his small transport table. This sent Odifin skidding across the library.

  “Rotwang, help!” Odifin cried.

  Rotwang jumped up and caught up to Odifin, grabbing the rolling table with one hand. Then Rotwang steered it back to where the group was studying. The mishap had joggled Odifin’s eyeballs around, so that one was sitting on top of the other.

  Newton, Shelly, Higgy, and Theremin started to giggle.

  “What’s so funny?” Odifin asked. “It’s not my fault Tabitha tripped.”

  Theremin took a quick snap of Odifin with his tablet and then showed the photo to Odifin. “This is what’s funny,” he said.

  “Yeah, it sure is,” Newton said. “Now, that’s what I’d call ludicrous.”

  Odifin moved his eyestalks and put his eyes in the correct position. “I guess that was kind of funny,” he admitted.

  “You know what’s funny?” they heard someone ask. “That you losers think you have a chance of winning the Brilliant Brains Trivia Competition.” They all turned to see Mimi Crowninshield standing there with her arms crossed.

  “We won the science fair, so I don’t think you can call us losers,” Theremin pointed out.

  “Yeah, and why are you so obsessed with us, anyway?” Shelly asked.

  Mimi’s cheeks turned pink. “I am not obsessed,” she said. “I’m talking to you because nobody else is entering the competition.”

  “What do you mean?” Shelly asked. “I thought almost everybody in the school was entering.”

  “They were, until Odifin here became a gigant-o brain-o,” Mimi sneered. “The rumor is that he knows everything there is to know in the universe. So most people chickened out. Except for me. I’m not afraid of some dumb brain.”

  “I am not dumb,” Odifin said. “And it’s true, for a brief moment I possessed all the knowledge the school has to offer. But that all went away when I shrank.”

  Mimi shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me. Now I only have to beat six of you.”

  Suddenly the huge holographic head of Headmistress Mumtaz appeared above the middle of the table.

  “Mimi, Newton, Shelly, Odifin, Higgy, Theremin, Rotwang,” she said. “I want to see you all in my office right now.”

  The other kids in the library looked up.

  “What do you think she wants?” Higgy asked.

  “You guys are probably in trouble—as usual,” Mimi guessed. “And I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll straighten it out with Ms. Mumtaz.”

  They made their way to the office of the headmistress and took seats around her desk—all except for Odifin, who observed from his jar, perched next to Rotwang.

  Ms. Mumtaz gazed at them all with her bright green eyes. “Let me explain why I’ve brought you here,” she began. “Since you seven are the only ones still signed up for the trivia competition, I’m going to cancel it.”

  Mimi stood up. “What? That’s not fair!”

  “Yeah,” the others agreed.

  “I have no choice,” Ms. Mumtaz said. “Mimi, you know what a big deal this competition is. Mad scientists the world over tune in to watch. It’s a major event—a spectacle. You can’t have a spectacle with only seven contestants. We usually have a hundred kids in the first knockout round, before the pack gets narrowed down. That’s what the audience wants to see.”

  “It’s Odifin’s fault!” Mimi cried, pointing. “All the other kids got scared off because they think he knows everything.”

  “I’ve already explained to you that that’s not true,” Odifin said.

  Ms. Mumtaz frowned. “And I suppose there’s no trying to assure the students that you’re back to normal,” she said. “I know what happens when rumors start in this school.”

  Odifin sighed. “I’ll drop out,” he said. “Then the other kids won’t be afraid to compete.”

  “No!” Newton cried. “That’s not fair.”

  “That sounds fair to me,” Mimi said.

  “You guys have all been studying hard,” Odifin said. “I’m not going to let my team down.”

  “That’s it!” Newton cried. “Teams!” He stood up and slammed his hands onto Ms. Mumtaz’s desk in his excitement. “Change the competition so it has groups competing,” he said. “Kids will feel more confident working in teams.”

  Ms. Mumtaz nodded. “That just might work. It’s good to mix things up a bit, offer something new.” Then she frowned. “But we’ve got only one set of encyclopedias to give away. It would be nice to have one winner.”

  “You could narrow down the groups in a series of matches until there are only two groups left,” Newton suggested. “And then the remaining individual members could compete.”

  “A final, electrifying lightning round!” Ms. Mumtaz said. “I don’t just like it; I LOVE IT! I’ll send out a nano-email blast. You are all dismissed.”

  Mimi stood up and pushed her way through the others to get out.

  “What’s the rush, Mimi?” Shelly asked.

  “I’m going to put a team together,” she said, before dashing off.

  Shelly turned to Odifin. “That was nice of you, to offer to drop out like that.”

  “Well, that’s what friends do, right?” Odifin asked.

  Shelly grinned. “Yeah, that’s what friends do.”

  Theremin slapped Newton on the back. “And that was pretty smart thinking, Newton. The team idea is a good one.”

  “Thanks,” Newton said.

  “Yeah, looks like you’re pretty smart after all, Newton,” Odifin said.

  Newton looked around at his friends. “So, I guess we’re a team, then, right?”

  Rotwang raised an eyebrow. “Even me?”

  “Why not you, Rotwang?” Higgy said. “You’ve been studying with us.”

  “Cool,” Rotwang said, and beamed.

  “We need a name for our team,” Theremin said. “Something cool. Like ‘Team Mega-Smart.’ ”

  “ ‘Team Uber-Undefeated,’ ” Rotwang suggested.

  “But, Rotwang, how can we be undefeated if we’ve never— Never mind,” Odifin said. “I think ‘Odifin’s Army’ has a nice ring to it.”

  “ ‘The Mighty Monsters,’ ” Shelly said.

  Newton shrugged. “I don’t know. Um, ‘the Six Students’?”

  “It needs to be catchy,” Higgy said. “How about ‘the Goo Getters’?”

  Shelly giggled. “Go
o Getters?”

  “You know, because of all the goo and stuff,” Higgy said. “And, um, goo makes teams stick together, right?”

  “I like it,” Rotwang said, running a hand through his greasy hair.

  “I still like ‘Odifin’s Army,’ ” Odifin said.

  “Everyone who likes ‘Goo Getters,’ raise your hand,” Shelly called out.

  Everyone except for Odifin raised their hand.

  “No fair! I don’t have hands!” he yelled.

  “You can say ‘yes’ instead of raising a hand,” Shelly suggested.

  “No,” Odifin said.

  “Sorry, Odifin,” Shelly said, “but you’re outnumbered. It’s five yeses against one no.”

  “It’s okay,” Odifin said. “I guess we can be the Goo Getters.”

  “Three cheers for the Goo Getters!” Theremin shouted.

  The six friends chanted in unison.

  “Goo Getters, Goo Getters, Goo Getters!”

  CHAPTER 12 Go, Goo Getters!

  All was pitch black. Then Ms. Mumtaz’s voice rang out.

  “Good evening, one and all!”

  A crowd cheered in the dark. Then a thousand lights blinked on, revealing that the headmistress was standing in the middle of a triangular platform at the center of an enormous outdoor stadium. Her image appeared on giant screens that could be seen from every seat.

  “Welcome to the Seventy-First Annual Franken-Sci High Brilliant Brains Trivia Competition!” Ms. Mumtaz announced. As she spoke, fireworks appeared above the stadium, and shiny drones dropped confetti on the students, professors, and onlookers sitting in the stands.

  Newton had first seen the impressive stadium about an hour before, when he and his friends had reported there early. The glass-and-metal structure rose out of the jungle like a massive jewel, and he’d gasped.

  “Has this always been here?” he’d asked.

  “It’s protected by stealth camouflage technology when it’s not being used,” Theremin had explained. “It draws too much attention to the island otherwise.”

  They had been met by some upperclassmen who’d ushered them underneath the stadium. Robotic powder puffs had slapped makeup onto all their faces, even Theremin’s, and onto Odifin’s jar (which Rotwang had dutifully wiped off), and then they’d been told to stand on a red circle. There were a few dozen other kids down there too, getting ready for their introductions.

  In the stadium above, the hubbub quieted down when Ms. Mumtaz’s voice again echoed through the speakers.

  “Tonight we are pleased to have a record five thousand eight hundred and seven mad scientists watching us from around the world, in nine of the fifty-one dimensions, and even on a few uncharted planets,” she continued. “And this year we’re making history with a brand-new format: teams!”

  The crowd cheered.

  “First up,” Mumtaz announced, “is a team of freshmen friends including an assistant, a brain, a robot, a jokester, a monster maker, and a boy with amnesia. It’s the Goo Getters!”

  The group’s red circle platform rose to the ceiling, where a circular hole swirled open. Odifin and his table almost rolled off as the platform was lifted high into the air, and Rotwang grabbed them just in time.

  Boom! Boom! Boom! More fireworks exploded overhead, and Newton flinched. He had to concentrate to keep from camouflaging himself out of fear, but it wasn’t easy to keep his cool. Drone cameras looped and whirred around them, bright lights shone into their eyes, and the sight of the crowded stands made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

  The fireworks continued as more teams were announced: Mimi and her team, the Destroyers; a group of seniors calling themselves the Invincibles; Team Myopia was a group of kids all wearing glasses; and there was one last team, the Rowdy Rebels.

  “The format has changed, but the rules are simple,” Ms. Mumtaz said. “Each team is asked a question. One wrong answer, and they’re out. We’ll keep asking questions until there are two teams left. Then those team members will compete individually.

  “In the event that any answers are challenged, our judges will make the final determination,” she said, and she pointed to a box floating nearby. “Welcome, Professor Leviathan, Professor Phlegm, and Professor Wagg!”

  The cameras swung around and closed in on them. Leviathan with her wild, curly hair cried out “Woot, woot!” Phlegm snarled at the camera. And ancient Professor Wagg, asleep as usual, snored.

  “Before we begin, I’d like to thank tonight’s sponsor, Crowninshield Industries,” Ms. Mumtaz continued, “makers of the DNA-in-a-Snap kit. It’s DNA testing without the muss and fuss!”

  A colorful box with the words “DNA-in-a-Snap” appeared on the screen. In the corner of the box was a logo with a golden crown and the name “Crowninshield.”

  “Our winner tonight will get a complete set of the Encyclopedia of Mad Scientists,” Mumtaz went on. “Plus, a giant holographic statue of the winner will be projected in the school’s Center Court for one week. Teams, are we ready to get started?”

  “Yes!” Newton cheered, along with the others. He felt excited. He’d been studying extra hard for this event, because he didn’t want to embarrass himself if his team made it to the individual round.

  He looked at his friends. Rotwang was sweating. Odifin’s eyes were gazing all around the stadium. Shelly had her eyes closed, calming herself. Theremin was literally sparking with excitement, and Higgy was rocking back and forth, making farting noises with his feet and cracking up everyone in the stands.

  One of the camera drones settled in front of them.

  “Our first question is for Team Goo Getters,” Ms. Mumtaz said, and the stadium got quiet.

  “What are the Cartesian coordinates?” she asked. “You have ten seconds to answer.”

  For the first question, it was a tough one. A red number ten appeared on all the screens and began to count down.

  Newton searched his brain but came up with nothing.

  “Are those related to geography?” Shelly asked the other team members.

  Theremin’s eyes flashed with excitement. “It’s more about location in general. They’re used in robotics!” he said. “I got this. Trust me.”

  The drone camera zoomed in front of Theremin as he answered.

  “Cartesian coordinates are a system that uses a pair of numbers, or coordinates, to specify the location of a point in a two-dimensional space,” Theremin said.

  “Correct!” Ms. Mumtaz announced, and a cheer went up from the stands. Newton patted Theremin on the back.

  “Way to go, ro-bro!” he said.

  “Destroyers, it’s your turn,” Mumtaz said. “Here is your question: Who created the first formula for artificial happiness?”

  I know this one, Newton thought as he watched Mimi and her team huddle together. It’s Gladiolus—

  “Gladiolus Farfengiggle,” Mimi said confidently.

  “Correct!” Mumtaz said. “Now on to the Invincibles! Here is your question: What is the name of the transportation particle discovered by Professor Yuptuka?”

  The students huddled. Newton realized he knew this one too. He waited to see if the Invincibles would get it right.

  “Um, a quicksicle?” answered a purple-haired boy as the buzzer went off.

  “Incorrect! The correct answer is a bouncicle,” Ms. Mumtaz said. “Sorry, Invincibles. Bye-bye!”

  Whoosh! The Invincibles’ platform quickly dropped through the stadium floor and disappeared. The team would join the rest of the spectators in the stands to watch the remainder of the competition.

  “And then there were four!” Mumtaz said.

  Next the kids in Team Myopia answered a question about unstable elements correctly. Then it was the Rowdy Rebels’ turn. Mumtaz asked them who the father of vegetable animation was.

  The leader of the Rowdy Rebels answered Ms. Mumtaz in a whisper. “Phineas Broccolini?” he said, barely audibly.

  “Can you repeat that, please?” Mumtaz asked.
“A little louder?”

  “Phineas Broccolini,” the boy repeated.

  “LOUDER, please!” Mumtaz shouted.

  “Phineas Broccolini,” the boy replied in a normal speaking voice, and his answer could finally be heard by Mumtaz.

  “Correct!” Ms. Mumtaz said. “But I’m changing your name to the Not-So-Rowdy Rebels! Back to you, Team Goo Getters!”

  The next question was about monsters, and Shelly got it right. Then the Destroyers got their question right. So did Team Myopia and the Not-So-Rowdy Rebels.

  “There are still four!” Mumtaz announced, and the stadium filled with cheers.

  The competition heated up as the teams got one correct answer after another. Then Mumtaz asked the Not-So-Rowdy-Rebels, “Which animal is faster, a Brazilian spider beetle or a Tasmanian temporal sloth?”

  It’s a trick question, Newton thought. You might think it’s the spider beetle because sloths are slow, but—

  “The Brazilian spider beetle,” answered the Not-So-Rowdy team leader.

  “Incorrect!” Ms. Mumtaz said. “The temporal sloth is faster because it can travel through time. But good try! Let’s hear it for the Not-So-Rowdy Rebels!”

  Everyone cheered as the Rebels sank down through the floor and out of sight.

  “Your turn, Goo Getters,” Ms. Mumtaz said. “What was the first animal to be brought back to life with lightning?”

  The Goo Getters huddled.

  “I should know this,” Shelly said. “I’m pretty sure it was a worm.”

  “No, I remember this,” Newton said. “It’s a frog.”

  “A frog. Newton is right,” Odifin agreed.

  They broke the huddle. Newton stared into the camera drone and took a deep breath. “A frog?” he answered confidently.

  “Correct!” Mumtaz replied. “Nicely done, Goo Getters. Destroyers, you must get this next question right, or the Goo Getters and Team Myopia are going to the individual round.”

  “We will get it right,” Mimi promised, and she was right—they did.

  Then Team Myopia got their next question wrong.

  “Good try, Team Myopia!” Mumtaz said as the disappointed, bespectacled team sank into the floor.