Pain Lived, Love Found

by Lake, Thalia

  “This is it, everyone. This is the dress,” I said smiling.

  Everyone began to clap and smile and then came to me and hugged me as they marveled over the dress. I quickly retreated to take it off and scheduled my first fitting with the seamstress. Finally, I was able to eat, and eat I did. Everything was so delicious. We enjoyed each other’s company for a few more hours. Luca’s mom was a very funny woman with a naughty sense of humor. I loved her more and more each time I was around her, and his sisters were simply lovely. I knew we were going to be close and practically inseparable. We had so much in common. They all had careers before they met their husbands and were very independent. Liliana and Santina are both working moms. Liliana is a college professor at MSU teaching literature and world history. Santina is the executive vice president of marketing and advertising at Santorini Construction. They each have three children and seem to be making it work. I need to pick their brains more to find out what their secrets are.

  Angie also made new friends with my soon to be in-laws. She hit it off very well with all of them, and Mama Anna was already inviting her and her family over to the next Sunday dinner. We soon said our goodbyes, and I couldn’t stop thanking Mama Anna for everything she did for me today.

  “Oh, sweetie, it was nothing. I was happy to do it, and seeing the joy on your face and the sparkle in your eyes, especially when you found the dress you wanted, made it all worth it,” she reassured me as she hugged me tight.

  “No, you don’t understand. This is something I dreamed of experiencing with my mother and sisters, and none of them are here. This means so much to me because you didn’t have to do any of this. You have a big, beautiful heart Mama Anna, and I’m so happy to be part of your family.”

  “Oh, tesoro,” (Oh sweetheart) Mama Anna said before hugging me tightly again. “You are my daughter now, and I have plenty of love to give. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

  My heart was full of so much happiness I felt like I was walking on the highest cloud. There were times at night that I would lay in bed thinking about how blessed I truly am. Sometimes I felt like I was in a dream because things were just going too well in my life. I wasn’t used to such good fortune. There was always a roadblock here, or an anvil dropping from the sky landing on my shoulders like in the cartoons. I’m still learning to accept it all and go with the flow. It’s hard, but I’m trying. I deserve this. I deserve to be happy.

  Chapter Twenty-Five - The Rehearsal Dinner

  Hiring a wedding planner was the best thing Luca and I could have done. She captured our tastes and personalities beautifully and went to work immediately. I chose the same purple amethyst color of my engagement ring for our wedding colors. Angie and I found the perfect dress for her from the same shop owner that I found my dress. We tweaked the design to fit Angie’s tastes, and it looked beautiful on her. I chose royal amethyst hybrid roses as my bouquet. Angie’s bouquet will have the same roses with purple Peruvian lilies and white orchids.

  Luca and I decided on the Venetian ballroom to have our wedding, dinner, and reception. We loved the soaring ceilings and dramatic arched windows and the beautiful millwork throughout. The grand chandeliers that hung all around gave it a rich, elegant feeling. There was a smaller, more intimate room to hold the wedding ceremony, and then the guests would move to the actual ballroom for hors d’oeuvres while we took wedding photos. That would be followed by a sit-down dinner and reception.

  With all of the big and small details taken care of we had our wedding rehearsal Friday night, the day before our actual wedding. Coming down the aisle on Junior’s arm and seeing Luca standing at the other end smiling at me with eyes beaming with love and happiness took my breath away. I could only imagine how I’d feel tomorrow when it was actually happening. We couldn’t stop smiling at each other as the priest went through the ceremony and explained to us what we’d have to do, and when we had to say our vows. I barely heard a thing as I was completely lost in the bluest eyes I’ve come to love.

  The rehearsal didn’t last long at all. Afterward we met up at Lou’s Steakhouse for dinner. Luca reserved their small banquet room since his entire family would be there, including my two brothers and Junior’s wife Jessica, Angie and her husband Damon and their two kids, and Luca’s best friend Nico and his wife Sonya, whom I love by the way. Carly and her family made it into town late and were tired, so they passed on attending the dinner and decided to get some much needed rest. Nico and Sonya are such a beautiful, sweet, and down to earth couple. Sonya is hilarious and had me laughing all night telling me about her experience meeting Nico’s family for the first time. She didn’t exactly receive the open arms welcome that I got from the Santorini’s, but they managed to work through their differences and now she’s completely in love with her in-laws.

  There were many toasts given, first by Luca’s father, then his oldest brother Leo, and finally Nico.

  After Nico’s toast our food arrived and we began to eat. Suddenly we heard a loud commotion outside of the door. I heard the loud shrill of a very familiar voice demanding entrance into our private dinner.

  “I’m family! I’m the oldest sister of the bride! I have a right to be here!”

  Angie and I looked at each other in total disbelief. “It can’t be,” I said as anger and embarrassment took over me.

  “Sweet Jesus...it is,” Angie said as she directed my attention to the door just as Sarah busted her way inside.

  Luca was pissed as he knew that was none other than Sarah Paris. Junior and Michael were the first to their feet to confront our sister.

  “Sarah what the HELL are you doing here? Have you lost your mind?” Junior hissed angrily.

  “Well, would you look at this shit. My two brothers are part of baby girl’s big event, and I don’t even get a phone call? I had to find out from Jimmy the crackhead that Sloane is marrying some rich WHITE MAN!” Sarah said loudly for everyone to hear.

  “That’s it. Let’s go,” Michael said as he took our sister by the arm to escort her out while Jr. took her by her other arm.

  “Hey everybody! I’m Sarah. I’m the big sister to little Ms. Perfect Sloane, but I’m sure you had no clue that I even exist since my dear little perfect sister treats me like I’m dead!” Sarah spat out.

  “I’ve had enough,” Luca growled as he threw his napkin on the table and stood up. I held him by the arm and stood up as well. “What do you think you’re doing?” I asked.

  “I’m about to go deal with your sister and get her out of here,” Luca said as he looked at me as if he couldn’t believe I’d ask him something so silly.

  “No, you’re not. You let me handle my sister.”

  “No, she thinks she can just barge in here…”

  “Luca - I said no! This is my family, and I will deal with her. You’ll only make things worse. I know my sister, you don’t.”

  Luca was not pleased with what I said, but he didn’t argue with me further either.

  Turning my attention to the many pairs of eyes looking at me with surprise and sympathy I said, “I am so sorry that my sister interrupted our dinner. Please, continue to eat and enjoy yourselves while I go deal with her. I’m so sorry,” I said as I rushed out of the room. Luca stubbornly started to come with me, but his father stopped him.

  “No, son, let her deal with her family. You can’t fix everything, Luca. Just trust her.”

  Luca sat back down angry and frustrated as he listened to his father.

  Junior and Michael had taken Sarah outside to the parking lot where Sarah was still screaming and crying at the top of her lungs hysterically.

  “Why does Sloane hate me so much? Everybody hates me! I’m part of this family too!” Sarah cried.

  “I don’t hate you, Sarah; I hate your selfish ways,” I said as I walked up to them.

  Michael looked at me and mouthed, “She’s been drinking.” I nodded my head in understanding as I stood in front of Sarah with my arms crossed.

  “Why did I hav
e to find out that my baby sister is getting married from the neighborhood crackhead Sloane? Even Evan knows about the wedding, and he’s in jail!”

  “I went to visit Evan and I introduced him to Luca, that’s how he knows.”

  “Dammit Sloane do you hate me that much? Do I disgust you so much that you have to resort to treating me like I don’t exist?” Sarah cried with tears streaming down her face.

  “Stop it, Sarah! Just stop it! Stop playing the victim as if you’ve done nothing to hurt me and this family over and over just like your sick father! I looked up to you when I was younger; I thought you were so pretty. I felt honored to have a big sister as pretty and confident as you. I used to brag about you to my friends at school. When you would braid my hair in all those creative styles and put beads in it I was the envy of all the girls at school because they didn’t have a big sister that would braid their hair like I did. I didn’t have just one amazing, talented big sister, but I had two. Somewhere down the line you changed Sarah, and you became this ugly person on the inside who didn’t think twice about using people to get what you want. I don’t want any parts of that person.”

  “I’m so tired of being blamed for everything that goes wrong in this family. I didn’t come here to be blamed some more! I came here to see my little sister and find out why you think so lowly of me. What have I done to you, Sloane?”

  I covered my face with my hands in disbelief. I was so upset that my temples were throbbing. Even Junior and Michael had looks of total disbelief on their faces at Sarah’s claim of ignorance.

  “Are you kidding me right now Sarah? Do you really want us to go down that road right here, right now? Are you serious?”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I want!” Sarah yelled back as she got in my face.

  Michael got between us and took me by the shoulders and said, “No, Sloane. This isn’t the time or the place. I’ll take Sarah home, and you go back to your dinner.”

  “No Michael, this is long overdue and it’s going to be short and sweet,” I said as I walked around him to face Sarah again.

  “You’ve resented me my entire life. You hated how that sick bastard of a father always doted on me; you hated when people said I was pretty. When I moved in with you and Carly and you had your parties with your men over, you’d purposely talk down about me if any of those guys looked at me too long or gave me a compliment. You never once told me I was pretty, that I looked nice, nothing. I wanted to be like you. I tried to dress like you, wear my hair like you but not once did you notice or give me any type of compliment. For years I ignored this, for years I was in denial about your jealousy of me until my best friend Roman told me how you came on to him and you told him that I was a prude and inexperienced in the bed but you could fulfill his every fantasy. Then there was my boyfriend Julian, who came by to bring me soup and tea when I was sick with the flu, and before he left you offered him a blowjob. Or what about Christian? The man I dated the longest and yet you managed to proposition him as well and tried to convince him not to date me but to date you?”

  “Damn Sarah, why you gotta be a hoe like that? And to your own sister?” Michael asked in disgust.

  Sarah couldn’t say a word as she stood there with her mouth hanging open. Junior just shook his head in disappointment at our sister.

  “You have nothing to say now, do you? For years, I said nothing but still I gave you chance after chance. Why? Because I love you. You’re my sister, and I thought you’d do better, that maybe somehow you’d become a better person, but you never did. For years, I pretended like I didn’t know about half of the backstabbing things you’ve done to me, and to mama. You know what I’m talking about too, Sarah. So you can stand there and be on your high horse and act like you’re so innocent and the victim in all of this, but I know better, and I know you. You show up here tonight half-drunk looking like a two dollar prostitute, and for what? So you can offer Luca a blow job? So you can screw all the men in his family, including his father? So you can try to get money out of them because their family is rich just like your father tried to do when he first learned about me and Luca?”

  “Sloane I would never do that….”

  “Don’t even say it Sarah. Yes, you would, and you’d do it in a heartbeat. That’s the reason why you came dressed like that! Like I said, I love you and I always will. You will always be my sister, but I will never trust you again. Not until you make some serious changes in your life. I’m seeing a psychiatrist. I’ve been seeing one since April, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in my adult life. I’m seeing one to help me let go of the anger and pain I’ve held on to for so many years because of our parents and how we grew up, and it’s helped me so much. Luca wanted to toss you out on your ass, and the old me would have let him. The new me realizes that you need more than that. You need help Sarah, and when you’re ready to take that step to see a psychiatrist and get your life together with no bullshit and no ulterior motives, call me. I’ll be there for you and will support you every step of the way. Right now, I can’t deal with you because you’re toxic. Now, I have a dinner to get back to that you rudely interrupted.”

  I turned around and walked away. I couldn’t believe that I just confronted years of hurt and pain with my sister, but I felt so relieved that I finally did. My emotions were all over the place - I didn’t know if I wanted to cry, scream, or simply be alone for a moment. When I walked back inside of the restaurant, Luca was standing at the front door. He took me into his arms and hugged me tight.

  “Are you okay?” he asked as he buried his nose in my hair.

  “How much did you hear?” I asked.

  “Most of it. You never told me any of that.”

  “It’s not something I like to talk about, but I was going to tell you eventually. And to answer your question, I think I’m okay. That was a lot to get off of my chest. I have every right to hate my sister, but I don’t. I could never hate her. She needs help, Luca. Plain and simple.”

  “You’re right, sweetheart; she does. And I’m glad you don’t hate her. There’s enough of that going around as it is. All we can do is pray for her and hope she takes you up on her offer.”

  “Let’s get back to the dinner,” I said, before I stole a kiss from him.

  Chapter Twenty-Six - Forever Begins Today

  Our wedding day is finally here, and I was full of nervous energy. I wasn’t nervous about marrying Luca. I was nervous about everything going as planned without a hitch. Everything was decorated so beautifully; Zsa Zsa had truly outdone herself. She gave us everything we asked for and more, and it was all tastefully done. Simple yet elegant just like we asked for. Angie and I had breakfast together in my room. We sat in the middle of my huge bed with our custom robes on like we used to do when we were teenagers.

  Afterward Carly knocked on the door to help me with my hair and makeup. I decided to wear my hair down since Luca loved it that way. Carly took a purple orchid from one of the many centerpieces and put it in my hair. It was the perfect touch. Later Mama Anna and my three sisters-in-law came to the room to offer help. They also gave me something old - Mama Anna’s grandmother’s pearl necklace, something borrowed, Sophia’s satin bridal purse to keep all my knick knacks, and something blue, a blue satin ribbon that came from Luca’s baby blanket that his great-grandmother made for him. They were the sweetest, most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever given me.

  “The blanket matched his beautiful blue eyes perfectly. Out of all of my children, he was the only one to have beautiful blue eyes like his father. My nana made blankets for all of my children, and I’ve kept them all preserved so they can give them to their children and their children’s children. When you and Luca have a child, I will give you his.”

  “Thank you, mama,” I said as I gave her a hug and a kiss. “No more Mama Anna for you. From here on out you’re mama,” I said as I pulled back to smile at her.

  Her eyes watered, and she turned away from me before a single tear fell.

>   “No crying. Not yet. I must look good for the pictures,” she said laughing, which made everyone laugh. Soon my hair and makeup was done, and it was time to put on my dress. Angie was dressed as well, and she looked absolutely gorgeous. There was a knock on the door from Zsa Zsa informing us that it was time for the wedding to start. When I left the room, Junior was waiting outside of the door for me. He looked so handsome and dapper in his black tuxedo.

  “You look beautiful Sloane,” he said smiling down at me.

  “Thank you, and you look cleaner than the board of health big bro!” I said, and we both laughed.

  “Are you ready to get this show on the road?” he asked.

  “I’m more than ready. Let’s do this.”

  Junior turned to me and covered my face with my veil, which was sheer trimmed with delicate lace. It cascaded beautifully around me. Junior then offered me his arm, and I took it as we began to walk towards the ballroom.

  We walked down a short hallway and through two sets of double doors that led us to the Venetian ballroom. Violinists from the Detroit symphony began to play the wedding march song when Junior and I appeared in the archway.

  The intimate group of family and close friends all stood up as I approached the white runner that was happily littered with purple and fuschia flower petals by three of Luca’s nieces. My eyes immediately locked with Luca’s and I couldn’t look away. His eyes got big, and his mouth opened to form the word “Wow.” I smiled as I read his lips. His reaction to seeing me in this dress was everything I could have hoped for. What really melted my heart was witnessing the biggest smile come across his face. It conveyed happiness, joy, love, and promise. He looked so dapper and handsome in his custom made Tom Ford tuxedo. No, he looked like a high fashion male model straight off the runway, that’s what he looked like! My life, my world, and this moment was filled with pure, unadulterated happiness. This is what nirvana had to feel like, and I never wanted it to end. It seemed as though Junior and I would never get to Luca as we slowly walked down the aisle. Nothing and no one could wipe the smile off of my face, not even the few tears of happiness that escaped my eyes.