The Heart Of A Gypsy

by Roberta Kagan

  “Thank you. I take that as the highest compliment,” Christian said.

  “As it was meant,” she got up and took the guitar back to Tomas. When she returned, she held a deck of cards in her hand. Spreading her skirt beneath her, she sat on the solid ground. “Would you like me to read your cards and tell you your future?” she asked Christian.

  “Would you? I would love that.”

  “But of course. I would be happy to.” A coy smile came over her face as she began to shuffle the deck. Then she handed the cards to Christian, “Cut them three times towards you, and make a wish.”

  “Ahhh… I love wishes.” He winked and she turned away, embarrassed by the warm feeling that began in her lower belly and moved down between her thighs.

  After he’d laid the cards down, she began her spread.

  “Let’s see what we have here… We have the queen of pentacles…with the lovers…and the ten of cups… Do you know what that means?” she asked with a giggle. Her laughter, a mixture of embarrassment and desire, rang out like a crystal bell.

  “I have no idea what all of that means… Tell me.” He gave her a mock serious gaze, and her eyes sparkled back at his like black diamonds.

  “It means that you will fall in love with a woman with dark hair. She will be very beautiful.” A giggle escaped her lips. “You will marry, have many children, and be happy forever. Until of course,” she jested, “she grows old and fat.”

  “I already have fallen in love with just such a woman. And if she should grow old and fat, I will love her anyway,” smiling slyly, he stared deeply into her eyes.

  She was suddenly shocked by her own bold behavior. The realization that she had been flirting made her self conscious. Gathering up the cards quickly, she got up and turned to go.

  “I must leave you. I have to go now… Good night.” She ran away so quickly that she never heard him as he said, “Wait… Don’t go.” He felt his stomach drop. Had he offended her? Had he gone too far? Again he said, “Don’t go…” in a whisper he knew that she could not hear because she was already gone.

  Chapter 6

  That night Christian slept restlessly. His mind was filled with dreams of Nadya. As he slept, images of her whirling as she danced came upon him with full clarity. Her eyes gazed into his, while the flame of the fire cast an orange glow over her hair. He was spellbound. Then the pictures from the cards that she had used to tell his fortune appeared, each of them smiling at him as they came to life. The two lovers gazing fondly at each other turned toward him, and when they did, they bore his own face and that of Nadya. The woman with the dark hair and golden earrings beckoned him to come to her. She reached out her hand as a smile came over her face. Christian’s heart beat faster as he walked toward her and gave her his hand. “Do you know what this means?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he answered. And then he woke up.

  Chapter 7

  The following night after dinner, Christian was seated by the campfire with Ion. They smoked cigarettes and sipped the cherry liquor. Christian tried to sound casual as he asked, “Is the boy who follows Nadya her son?”

  “Goodness, no. He is just a child who wandered into camp one day. She took to him, and has been caring for him ever since. He is a pathetic little boy, quiet and dim-witted. But he’s so sweet and affectionate that you can’t help but like him,” Ion said.

  Christian nodded.

  It was late that evening, after the campfire had been extinguished and the group had retired to their tents or laid their eiderdowns under the stars to sleep, that Tobar went to Ion’s tent. To his dismay, Tobar found Christian there when he arrived.

  “Why are you here?” Tobar asked.

  “Ion has generously allowed me to stay here until I am healed and can build a tent of my own. I was just going outside to sleep beneath the stars,” Christian answered.

  “Where is Ion?”

  “He went to tend to the horses. He should return in a few minutes.”

  “Tell him I am waiting by the common circle. I would like to see him.”

  “I will tell him,” Christian told Tobar.

  When Ion returned, Christian relayed the message, “Tobar is waiting for you at the circle. He says he needs to see you about something.”

  “Tobar? I can’t imagine what he wants.” Ion laid his eiderdown on the ground and turned to Christian, “I’ll be back.”

  Tobar sat on a rock, alone, illuminated only by a few stars and the light of the new moon.

  “Ion,” Tobar smiled.

  “Tobar,” he nodded in greeting.

  “I need to speak to you on a matter of great importance.”

  “Go ahead. I am listening,” Ion said.

  “Well,” Tobar stammered. If things had been different…if times had not changed…their fathers would have been performing these negotiations. But now, both Nadya’s father and Tobar’s had been killed. Ion, Nadya’s brother, was her guardian, and so he was the one to decide who she would marry. If Ion approved of Tobar, he could choose to ask his sister if she would agree to this match. But even if she did not wish to marry Tobar, in the end she must do as her brother commanded. “Well,” Tobar cleared his throat, “I don’t know how to do this actually. I have no experience, but I want to ask for Nadya’s hand in marriage. I can pay a small bride price. Far less, I know, than one such as she is worth…but it is all I have. I will be a good husband to her. I am a Sinti like you and I have my own vurdun. It has come to my attention that you sleep in the tent so that she can use your vurdun. When we marry, if you will give your approval, of course, I will see to it that she will have her own home.”

  Ion was caught off guard. He’d hardly expected this. If he agreed to the marriage, then Nadya must comply. But he could not do that without discussing it with her. Since the loss of the rest of their family, they had made all decisions together.

  “I would like to give Nadya the option before I say yes. I like you, Tobar. I always have, but I cannot agree to this without her consent.”

  “We are as bars…brothers. It is the way of the Rom to put our own first. I hope she is not considering marriage to a gage?”

  “Why do you say such a thing? I see no gage she might be interested in marrying.”

  “You don’t Ion? Watch her with the new blond man. Christian is his name?”

  “Christian?”

  “Yes, the man who stays in your tent.”

  “Oh, I don’t think there is anything like that between them. She is just helping him because he has no woman to fetch his food.”

  “Ion, for a Roma you are naïve…if you don’t mind my saying so. Watch when she dances. It is him that she casts her eyes upon.”

  Ion listened. He was not sure what to do. Often when he’d been unsure, he’d considered how his father might have handled a situation. But, then again, things were different now.

  “I want to wait until the time is right. And I need to think this over. It is a big responsibility, one I wish my father were handling. There is much going on here in the camp right now as well. But if you can wait, I will speak to Nadya over the next couple of weeks and get back to you with an answer.”

  “Very well, then, Ion. I respect you and will await your decision. But I would not wait too long. There is a grave danger of Nadya becoming far too interested in the gago man.”

  “As I said, I will take your offer into consideration. Sleep well,” Ion said.

  “Goodnight.”

  Chapter 8

  When Nadya came to bring Christian’s food the following morning, she was accompanied by the little boy Christian had noticed the previous day. A small brown and white puppy followed the child.

  “This is Hanzi,” Nadya introduced the boy to Christian.

  “Hello, Hanzi.”

  “Hello, sir.”

  “You don’t have to call me sir. You can call me Christian.” He smiled at the child.

  “Do you mind if Hanzi eats with us?” Nadya asked Christian.

&
nbsp; “Not at all,” Christian motion to Hanzi to sit beside him and the boy did as he asked.

  After Nadya laid the food out on the ground, she smiled at Christian, “Perhaps you can help us. Hanzi and I have been trying to think of a name for his dog. Do you have any ideas?”

  “What would you like to name her, Hanzi?’ Christian asked.

  “I think we should name her little dog because she is little.”

  Christian laughed, “She won’t always be little, Hanzi. She will grow big. But you are right, she is little now and we could call her ‘Lil’ for short.”

  Clapping his chubby hands together, he laughed aloud. “Good name… Lil is a very good name.”

  “Then Lil it is. Do you approve, Mistress Nadya?” Christian lifted the child high in the air, and Hanzi squealed with delight.

  “But of course I do,” she curtsied. He made a mock attempt to bow. And as he did, she could see that he still had some pain in his chest.

  “Perhaps you should not lift Hanzi until your ribs are healed.” Her eyes misted over with concern.

  “I am all right. He’s very light, and he enjoys it so.”

  “That he does.”

  “I do!” Hanzi giggled, “Again…lift me up again!”

  And Christian did.

  Chapter 9

  With the gentle, easy flow of the Indian summer, the days passed from morning to night. Slowly the temperatures began to drop as Mother Nature warned that winter would soon be upon them, and with the frozen weather would come the need to make an important choice. It was the leader, the Shera Rom, who must decide whether to keep the group at their present location, hunkering down to brave the cold, which was always accompanied by the snow and ice that paralyzed their movement until spring, or to travel and make winter camp elsewhere. He knew that cold weather was hardest on the Rom because it stifled the nomadic way of life that they loved so much. He considered possibly going into Hungary before the onset of the debilitating weather conditions. Or, he thought, they might try to travel through Germany and into Switzerland, where they would be safe from whatever the Nazis might have planned for them. But in order to find safety in Switzerland, they must first make it through Germany, and that was a perilous task, especially with the women and children. Often the Shera Rom wished he could send the women and children away to a safe haven far from the Third Reich. But where could they go? With Hitler ever on the move, conquering his neighboring countries, no one could say which country would be the next to fall. The men, on the other hand, seemed to relish wreaking havoc on the Germans. Because all of his men, Rom and gage, felt they must avenge the mistreatment and deaths of their loved ones, he knew that none of them were willing to attempt an escape. They were just where they wanted to be. The Shera Rom had proposed a vote amongst them men several times, asking if they would like to try to make their way out of Nazi territory or choose to die fighting the Nazis. Always, the honor of death by battle won out. So he decided he must respect their decision and not attempt to move his kumpania out of harm’s way.

  For Christian and Nadya, the days were never long enough. They sat in the center of the camp, where he taught her to play poker and gin rummy with an old deck of cards that one of the men gave them. Nadya was a clever and talented girl, who made him laugh with her ability to deceive him at cards. She could hold a poker face longer than any man he’d ever known. Once when he was sure he had the better hand, she laid down a full house, winning. All Christian could do was shake his head, and marvel at the cunning of this tiny Romany girl.

  The healing of Christian’s fractured ribs had progressed, and the pain in his side had begun to lessen. Now that he felt better, Christian offered to help with the mundane tasks around the camp. It was important to him that he be useful. He began to help Nadya gather firewood, and finally convinced Ion that he was strong enough to care for the horses.

  One night when the men gathered to raid a neighboring farm in order to replenish their food supply, Christian insisted upon joining them.

  “I don’t think it is a good idea,” Ion shook his head.

  “I am fine. I assure you, I am feeling much better.”

  “I know, and that is good, but sometimes we must get away quickly. You might hurt yourself, and then you would need to start the healing process all over again.”

  “I am fine. Take me with you,” Christian insisted.

  Ion studied him. Christian was determined, and so Ion agreed.

  A group of five men, Ion and Christian included, left the gypsy camp on foot. They walked more than five miles, until they came to a farm. Quietly, so as not to awaken the sleeping farmer, they moved through the fields. There they found corn, and inside the barn, an entire bucket of carrots that had been stored for the horse. As they gathered the food and began to leave, Christian spotted a colorful children’s ball in the corner of an empty horse stall. He picked it up and put it into his pocket. He planned to give it to Hanzi in the morning. It would delight the child to see his puppy learn to fetch.

  Ion insisted that the men take only what they need, and that they leave the farmer with plenty.

  The entire raid took less than half an hour, and from the bushels that were left, Christian was sure that the owner of the farm would never know they’d been there.

  In the morning when Nadya brought Christian’s food, Hanzi was at her side, with the pup following close behind, her tail wagging fiercely.

  “Hanzi, come here,” Christian motioned to a rock beside him. “Sit here next to me.”

  Hanzi sat down and smiled at Christian.

  “I have a gift for you.”

  Hanzi giggled, clapping his hands.

  Christian took the ball from his pocket and gave it to Hanzi. Immediately, it became apparent that the child had never seen a ball before.

  “Watch this.” Christian took the ball from Hanzi and rolled it a little ways away from them. The puppy watched with curiosity. When the ball stopped rolling, the dog raced forward and picked it up in her mouth. Seeing this, Hanzi laughed out loud.

  “Come on! Bring it back, girl!” Christian motioned to the puppy.

  Lil carried the ball back to Christian, but did not want to release it. He gently pulled it from her mouth, and again he tossed it forward. The dog ran to fetch it, bringing it back so Christian could repeat the game. Now Christian gave the ball to Hanzi.

  “You try,” Christian said. Hanzi just looked at him. “Go on… Toss the ball, but not too hard, because you don’t want it to go too far away. We want to keep Lil where we can see her.”

  Hanzi threw the ball, and Lil traipsed after it. To Hanzi’s delight, the dog brought the ball back to him. Over and over, the child and the puppy amused themselves with the game.

  Nadya watched Hanzi and Christian, “You’ve brought him so much joy. All of the other children spurn him, and it makes me feel so bad. When he first came here, he was afraid to speak. I know something bad happened to him, but he is slow, and I don’t think he is able to tell me what it was. I am just happy to see him play like a normal child,” Nadya said.

  “He is a good-natured boy. I often wonder what happened to his family and how he found his way here. But it doesn’t matter, I suppose. We will do what we can to make his life better from now on. After all we can’t change the past,” Christian said.

  “You’re right, and you have made his life so much better. Thank you Christian.”

  “And you, Nadya, have made mine full. I don’t know how I ever lived before I knew you. I can’t remember.”

  Leaning toward her, careful not to offend, he softly kissed her lips. She stood up, shocked. Her color heightened. This was forbidden. Nadya turned to Christian and stammered, “I must go. I will bring your dinner this evening.” And before he could speak, she darted away.

  Chrisitan spent the day in agony. Had he gone too far? Would she send another one of the women tonight instead of coming herself? He felt he might die if he could not see her again, at least to apologize. When
she arrived that evening, carrying the basket, he breathed a sigh of relief. She was more reserved than she’d been, and it broke his heart that she seemed to be closing herself off to his affections. Without a word she set the food down in front of him, and never meeting his eyes, she left.

  Distraught, he could not eat. Had he lost her? Scolding himself harshly for the boldness of his earlier behavior, he sat silent for the remainder of the night, filled with anguish. His mind wandered back to all the women he’d known before Nadya. Never had he made false promises, but they had been his willing lovers, regardless. Recalling each of them, he could not think of one who had made him feel the way this petite, fragile gypsy girl did. For him, her eyes held the brightness of the moon itself. He longed to caress her skin, so smooth, like cool porcelain. Shaking his head, he hoped that he had not driven her away indefinitely. If he had, he would have to find a way to bring her back.

  Outside of her tent, Nadya gazed up at the moon that was full and bright on this night. Counting the stars as she had done as a child, her mind wandered to Christian and the event that had taken place earlier that day. When he’d kissed her, he had thrown her off guard. She had never been kissed by a man in a romantic way before. Gestures of affection from relatives were different, but this was real, and she knew that her feelings, although they were forbidden, matched his. Terrified that Ion would somehow discover what had begun to develop between her and this man who was not of the Rom, she considered having one of the other women care for Christian. But she knew full well that she longed to see him as much as he yearned for her. It terrified her, but she refused to give up the time she spent with him. Nadya knew that she must have the self control not to let things go too far. She was Rom and he was gage. There was no possible future for them as a couple. It was like a romance between a fish and a butterfly. They were of two different worlds, two very different cultures. With strong conviction, she would explain to him that there must be no more physical contact between them. She would tell him tomorrow that this was how it must be. She would say that if he ever kissed her again, she would be forced to send another woman to see to his care. The crickets sang their buzzing song as Nadya listened. Watching the fireflies as they danced like tiny candle flames momentary illuminating the forest, she hoped to strengthen her resolve. Having made a decision to stifle this romantic attraction she was feeling, Nadya retired to her tent for the night. But once she fell asleep, dreams of Christian continued to haunt her. Her longing for his touch still overpowered her, making her weak and filled with wanting.