Show Me

by Janet Dailey

  Tanya stared at him in bewildered amazement, not believing that he was actually proposing to her. ‘Are you asking me to leave Jake and marry you?’ she breathed.

  ‘That is exactly what I’m asking.’ He smiled at her tenderly, his strong features made all the more handsome by the love shining in his eyes. ’I even have the urge to get down on one knee and repeat it.’

  ‘But I’m not even sure that I love you,’ she protested weakly, looking away before she succumbed to his persuasive charm.

  ‘I’d be the last one to ask you to change one husband for another that you don’t love either,’ Patrick nodded, wisely not pushing her on a decision. A wistful smile played over his mouth. ‘You have no idea, Tanya, how badly I want to court you and win your love. I want to see you again, alone, like this, where we can talk and not be afraid what we say will be overheard, even if it’s only for a half an hour or an hour — whatever you can arrange. Say you will, darling?’

  ‘I don’t know when I —’

  The sound of another car’s tyres on the gravel halted her hesitant agreement. She saw the quick frown that appeared on Patrick’s forehead even as she turned her head to see the approaching car. Her stomach fell with sickening suddenness as she recognized Sheila sitting beside Jake at the same moment that they saw her with Patrick. Jake said something to Sheila that drew an expression of displeasure as the car halted beside them. The grim look on his face when he stepped out of the car did little to ease the frightened hammering of Tanya’s heart.

  ‘You don’t have to explain anything,’ Patrick said quietly, a reassuring hand closing over hers. ‘We’ve done nothing wrong.’

  She cast him a grateful glance as her door was opened and Jake leaned down to mockingly look at the occupants. Tanya braced herself for the tirade that was to come.

  ‘Admiring the view?’ Jake inquired calmly, his steel blue eyes glancing towards the expanse of lake water below them. ‘It’s a lovely spot this time of year.’

  ‘Very beautiful,’ Patrick agreed, the challenging gleam back in his eyes.

  ‘Sheila got tired of waiting for you to come back, so I volunteered to take her home. It’s a good thing I ran into you. It saves both of us making the trip.’ His hard blue gaze turned on Tanya. ‘You can ride back to the house with me.’

  Patrick’s expression was plainly saying she didn’t have to go with Jake if she didn’t want to, but Tanya smiled to let him know she didn’t mind.

  ‘Thanks for picking me up,’ she told him.

  Before Tanya had a chance to retract her decision, Jake’s hand closed over her arm, propelling her out of Patrick’s care to his own. Sheila’s mouth was turned petulantly down at the corners as she crawled reluctantly out of the car to make room for Tanya.

  ‘I so looked forward to you taking me home, Jake,’ she sighed meaningfully, ‘but I know you’re anxious to get back to your little boy. I’m glad you asked me along today. I did have a marvellous time. Maybe we can do it again?’

  The last was accompanied by a bewitching smile directed solely at Jake, who returned it with a half-promising, ‘Maybe.’ Tanya found her anger rising as Sheila blew him a kiss and hopped gaily into the car with her brother. Patrick’s car was nearly out of sight by the time Jake walked leisurely around his own and slipped behind the wheel.

  ‘Did she go with you and John today?’ Tanya demanded, her eyes flashing a glance at the man calmly lighting a cigarette before starting the car. His casual attire of pale tan slacks and a brilliant blue knit shirt suited his muscular physique and the bronzed features below his slightly wind-ruffled brown hair.

  ‘As a matter of fact, she did, although it wasn’t planned that way,’ Jake replied with a derisive smile.

  ‘Poor John must have put a terrible crimp in your style,’ she retorted sarcastically. ‘What a pity you promised to take him along.’

  ‘It was Sheila who wasn’t part of the plan. John and I bumped into her when we stopped at the marina for lunch.’ His gaze explored her face. ’The time we spent together was as innocent as your few minutes with Raines.’

  Tanya turned away from his searching eyes, knowing the warmth in her cheeks had betrayed her sense of guilt.

  ‘Of course,’ Jake continued, a chilling coolness invading his tone, ‘you didn’t have the benefit of John as a chaperon, so perhaps yours wasn’t quite as innocent.’

  The censorious accusation in his voice angered her. He didn’t actually believe that she was as lacking in morals as he.

  ‘Our meeting was motivated by more respectable reasons than yours,’ she retorted.

  ‘Respectable?’ he jeered. ‘Would you like to explain that?’

  She shifted uncomfortably in the leather-covered seat. ‘Patrick asked me to marry him.’ Her voice was coolly composed.

  A darting glance took in the way Jake’s head was arrogantly thrown back, but the anger that was briefly shown in his eyes quickly vanished as he studied his cigarette.

  ‘I have to give the man credit. I didn’t think he would move as fast as this,’ he said, surprising Tanya with the indifference in his voice. ‘What was your answer?’

  ‘That’s my business.’ She stared down at her hands, trying to figure out why she felt so disappointed by Jake’s calm acceptance of her announcement.

  ‘It’s mine, too, Mrs. Lassiter.’ He underlined the last with mocking emphasis. ‘If not as your husband then as the father of our child.’

  ‘If you must know, I didn’t give him an answer!’ Her anger returned as quickly as it had fled.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I didn’t have a chance. Your unexpected arrival didn’t show the best of timing,’ she retorted sarcastically.

  ‘If you’d had the chance, what would it have been?’ Jake persisted.

  With a belligerent toss of her head, Tanya turned to stare at him, the false words of her acceptance of the proposal forming on her lips. But she found she couldn’t be less than truthful under his penetrating regard.

  ‘I don’t know. I need time to think it over,’ she said, keeping the defiant lift to her chin.

  ‘It doesn’t sound to me as if you’re really in love with the man or you wouldn’t need time to think.’ His comment was accompanied by a twisting smile. ‘You certainly can’t plead that you don’t know him. You’ve known Raines as long as you’ve known me.’

  ‘But I don’t know you,’ she protested artlessly.

  ‘Do you want to?’ Jake asked softly with a glitter in his eyes that attacked her breathing.

  Tanya sat motionless, afraid she would say something else that she would regret as much as her previous admission. Very slowly she gained control over her clamouring nerves and shook her tawny hair in a negative movement.

  ‘No, I don’t,’ she said firmly. ‘What I do know about you, I don’t like. There would be no point in expending energy on a useless cause.’

  ‘Are you saying our marriage is a useless cause?’ There was speculation in his narrowed gaze.

  ‘What would you call it when we can’t even be in the same room together without the air being filled with a sort of seething tension?’ she countered nervously.

  ‘Is that the way you feel?’ But he didn’t seem at all upset by her description and merely shrugged when she nodded her assertion. He turned the key in the ignition. ‘Maybe you’re right.’

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  Chapter Five

  TANYA SLIPPED OUT the patio door into the warmth of the moonlit night. She had just tucked John into bed and the idea of returning to the living room where Jake and his parents were was too oppressive. A solitary walk along the lake’s edge was much more inviting. She was determined to let none of her problems intrude on the beauty of the evening.

  Streamers of stars adorned the heavens while the moonshine cast silvery shadows on the rocks and boulders along the path that she walked. Crickets and cicadas sang out their shrill songs, drowned out now and again by the distant scream of a screech-
owl, or the baying of a hound. A breeze tickled the tops of the trees, an assorted collection of oaks, cedars and hickorys, but it didn’t penetrate the foliage to fan her cheeks.

  It was a languid night, warm and humid and still. A lopsided three-quarter moon gave the Lake’s mirror surface a pearly sheen. Tanya paused near the private pier leading out to the boat dock, then turned to wander out over the water, her footsteps on the planks sounding unnaturally loud. She stopped at the end and leaned over the railing to stare into the hidden depths.

  Her skin felt hot and sticky where her clothes persisted in clinging and the water looked so deliciously cool. There were no other homes or resorts on their little cove and no running lights from boats were visible. Tanya was completely alone. She removed the leather clasp that held her tawny hair back, swept it on top of her head and secured it again. The small locker on the dock always had a towel inside which she quickly removed and laid near the railing. Before she could have second thoughts, she stripped off her clothes, placed them near the towel, then used the ladder to slip into the water.

  After the first shiver had passed from the cold water touching her bare skin, a sensuous kind of enjoyment took over. Treading water for only a few seconds, she struck out for open water with the rhythmic strokes of an experienced swimmer. For over a quarter of an hour she alternately swam and floated in the moon-kissed water. When the initial spurt of energy passed, the cold water began to make itself felt. She turned with a leisurely sidestroke to head towards the dock.

  Perhaps it was a sixth sense or the betraying glow of a burning cigarette or the creaking of a wooden plank caused by human weight that made her aware that she wasn’t alone. She stopped several yards short of the ladder, her eyes searching the shadowy areas near the boathouse for her intruder.

  ‘Who’s there?’ she called out sharply.

  There was a movement as a tall figure dissociated itself from a dark corner and walked to the railing directly in front of her.

  ‘I didn’t know mermaids could talk.’

  Even before the softly spoken words were carried across the water to her, Tanya had known the voice would belong to Jake. She very nearly reversed her course and struck out for the opposite shore, but she knew she was too cold and tired to make it.

  ‘Please go away, Jake.’ The chattering of her teeth made the order sound more like a plea.

  The moonlight played over his wide forehead and prominent cheekbones, throwing the hollows of his cheeks in sharp relief while accenting the white gleam of his teeth as his mouth opened in an amused smile.

  ‘It’s not a mermaid,’ he teased with a mocking, regretful sigh, ‘only Mrs. Lassiter skinnydipping in the moonlight. That water must be cold.’

  ‘It is!’ she snapped, trembling with cold and anger. ‘Will you go away so I can get out?’ But Jake continued to lean against the rail staring at her. Tanya was infinitely grateful for the ebony depths that hid her nakedness, fighting the embarrassing sensation that his gaze was piercing the darkness. ‘If you won’t go away, then toss me the towel from the ladder.’ She hated the desperate ring in her voice, but her limbs were beginning to feel numb and she didn’t know how much longer she could continue to tread water.

  Jake glanced where she had indicated, took a step, then leaned down and picked up the towel. He held it in his hands and looked back at her, laughter etched in every carved line of his face.

  ‘If I throw you this, you won’t have anything to dry off with,’ he reminded her tauntingly.

  ‘I’ll worry about that later,’ she retorted, hating him for catching her in such a humiliating predicament.

  With a shrug, he tossed it in the water ahead of her, forcing her to swim closer before the towel became soaked and sank beneath the surface. It was impossible to remain afloat and wrap the towel around her in the open water. She had to move to the ladder where she could slip a leg through the lower rung, thus keeping herself upright while leaving her hands free to manoeuvre the towel. Her eyes tossed daggers at Jake, who continued to stare arrogantly down his straight nose at her. She longed to order him to turn his back to her, but knew such an edict would be met with open mockery. Instead she twisted around so her back was to him, fighting the sopping towel until she managed to pull it tightly around her chest and tuck in the end flap. Even secured, the heavy weight of the water-sodden cloth threatened to pull it off as she struggled up the ladder.

  ‘Such modesty!’ Jake chuckled. ‘I’ve seen naked women before.’

  Tanya tossed him a venomous look as she stalked waterily past him. ‘But not me!’ she snapped.

  ‘That’s a strange thing for the mother of my son to say.’ The softness of his voice didn’t hide the curious speculation her statement had aroused.

  For a split second Tanya froze, a white-hot rush of heat enveloping her shivering body. She managed to put the right degree of contemptuous disdain in her voice. ‘An intemperate seduction scene doesn’t always require the removal of one’s clothes.’

  ‘Damn you!’ The expletive phrase was muttered almost exasperatedly beneath his breath. In one fluid stride, Jake was at her side, his fingers bruising her shoulders where they dug into her skin. Tanya was made vividly aware again of his superior height and physical strength, tempered into sinewy muscles by the years spent in Africa. ‘Why do you persist in making it sound as if I raped you?’

  Her smooth white throat was exposed as she tilted her head up to stare calmly into his angry eyes. ‘You can’t remember, can you?’ she taunted, surprised at her own audacity to provoke him further yet knowing her acid tongue was the only weapon she had.

  The burning rage faded from his eyes, replaced by a haunting grimness mixed with pride. His hands fell away as he remained standing rigidly in front of her. ‘No. No, I don’t remember,’ Jake admitted through gritted teeth. His cold gaze roamed with deliberate slowness over her body half covered by the wet towel that concealed her naked skin while it revealed the mature fullness of her breasts, her slender waist, and the gentle curve of her hips. ‘God help me, I can’t remember.’ He pivoted sharply away from her, a large hand gripping the back of his neck in a rough massage.

  Without the intense scrutiny of Jake’s eyes, Tanya bent down and picked up her clothes. Her eyes kept straying towards the broad, straight back and the rigid shoulders. Something in the proud, lonely-stance closed over her heart with a painful squeeze. She tried to ignore the poignant tug as she walked quietly towards the enclosed boathouse. When she reached the door, she knew she couldn’t leave him like that, shouldering all the blame.

  ‘Jake.’ Her low voice asked for his attention. The glint of the moonlight shone over his tobacco brown haft as he turned partially towards her in acknowledgement, revealing his aristocratic profile. ‘It wasn’t rape,’ she whispered, slipping inside the boathouse as he turned.

  A footstep sounded on the wooden floor of the dock as she quickly closed the door behind her. With apprehensive stillness she waited to see if Jake would pursue her to gain a more explicit statement. There was no further indication of movement following her and she sighed in relief and flicked on the light switch. The wet towel slipped unneeded to the floor as she shook out her olive green slacks. Then a rap on the door had her draw the slacks protectively in front of her.

  ‘There should be a towel you can use on the front seat cushion of the boat, Tanya.’ Jake’s voice came quietly from the opposite side of the door.

  She spied it almost instantly. ‘I’ve found it,’ she answered, discarding her slacks to rub the rough textured cloth vigorously over her skin.

  Once dressed, Tanya stood hesitantly at the door, overcome by an auspicious feeling that when she opened the door, events would occur beyond her control and ones she might come to regret. There was no alternative. She couldn’t stay in the boathouse all night.

  Jake was standing at the far end of the dock where a small bench was attached to the railing. One foot was raised on to the seat, his knee acting as a support for his
arms to lean on, while the smoke from a half-smoked cigarette curled in a silver gauze cloud around his head. As the door clicked shut behind Tanya, he turned and straightened, grinding the cigarette out beneath his foot. They stared at each other for a long moment before she broke free of his gaze and moved towards the pier leading to the shore.

  ‘Tanya, don’t leave yet.’ The peremptory ring in his voice halted her.

  ‘Please, Jake, I don’t want to talk about that night.’ She turned quickly as he came to a stop behind her, her tawny eyes pleading with him not to ask any more questions. Her heart did a somersault at the gentle fire in the depths of his blue eyes.

  ‘I only want you to know that I appreciate your honesty.’ There was no mistaking the sincerity behind his words. ‘I realize that you didn’t have to admit what you did.’

  That virile charm was working its old magic on her and Tanya had to look down to break its spell. She couldn’t explain to herself why she hadn’t been able to let Jake go on thinking as he had. Some inner impulse had compelled her to speak out.

  ‘And I haven’t thanked you yet,’ Jake continued, ‘for remaining impartial about me to our son. So many women in your place would have used him to get back at me.’

  ‘I couldn’t do that,’ Tanya replied. ‘A boy should respect his father.’

  ‘You’re a very unique woman. I never realized until now how unique you are. You must have had wonderful parents. I only wish I could have met them.’

  But Tanya knew that if her parents had been alive she never would have married Jake. She never would have been driven to the point of mental and physical exhaustion from trying to support and care for a newborn baby alone. Her parents would have been there to share some of the burden. It was quite likely that Jake would never have known he had a son. And those thoughts strangely made her shudder.

  ‘You must be cold,’ he declared with a velvet huskiness.

  Before she could protest, he had removed the dark gold sports jacket and placed it around her shoulders. Her senses were assaulted by an intoxicating mixture of cigarette smoke, his musky scent of masculinity, and the warmth of his body heat clinging to the jacket. As he moved closer, drawing the jacket together under her chin, the heat emanated from him as if she was standing in front of a blazing fire. Staring at the white polo shirt, she felt the last of her resistance crumbling. When he removed the clasp from her hair, sending it cascading about her shoulders, she knew she wanted nothing more than to be taken in his arms.