Show Me

by Janet Dailey

  John was the one who signalled the end of their excursion through Silver Dollar City where unique rides were combined with exhibits of old-time crafts.

  ‘I’m hungry, Mom,’ he declared, an announcement that quickly brought agreement from Danny.

  ‘So am I, Mom,’ Jake added his laughing voice to the pleas of the two boys, his eyes twinkling at the rosy cheeks belonging to Tanya.

  ‘One picnic lunch coming up,’ she declared cheerfully trying to cover the attack of embarrassed shyness his teasing words had evoked.

  When they were all in the car ready to leave, Jake turned to her. ‘Where are we supposed to have this picnic?’

  ‘Inspiration Point,’ she suggested.

  ‘Inspiration Point it is,’ he agreed.

  The picnic basket contained ample helpings of fried chicken, baked beans, and potato chips with the plastic plates and silverware. And there was potato salad, cole slaw and cider in the ice chest. It didn’t take long for the hunger pangs to be satisfied.

  ‘Let’s go up to the top of the hill and see the statues,’ John piped up the instant the food was cleared away.

  Jake looked over at Tanya, tilting his brown head to one side. ‘Are you game?’ he asked. ‘Or have you tackled enough hills for one day?’

  ‘I’m never too tired to refuse the view from this hill,’ she assured him, lightly accepting his outstretched hand.

  ‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ Tanya commented, her voice softly pitched. Even John and Danny stood in silence, the scene impressing them, too.

  Jake’s hand stole around her waist, drawing her into the shelter of his chest and arm. ‘Geologists claim that these Ozark Hills are the oldest mountains or highlands on this Continent. It’s amazing how after all these years they still manage to look untouched by civilization.’

  ‘Dad.’ John looked up, his face drawn into a quizzical frown. ’How old is the Trail That Is Nobody Knows How Old?’

  ‘You’ve answered your own question,’ Jake smiled. ‘Nobody knows how old it is.’

  ‘Why don’t they?’ he persisted.

  ‘Well, when the first settlers came here in the late 1800s, the trail was here curving along below the Matthews place to Dewey Bald and on to the outside world miles away. Those settlers said the fur traders and trappers used it before them. The trappers said the French and Spanish explorers travelled over it, guided by the Indians who had used it before the explorers. And the Indians said the trail was there before them when the Old Ones walked the hills. So you see, it was named correctly — The Trail That Is Nobody Knows How Old.’

  John nodded, and stood there gazing intently at the scene.

  ‘He’s an intelligent boy,’ said Jake, lowering his voice so that his comment was for Tanya’s ears alone. ‘A bit too serious sometimes,’ she added absently, enjoying the gentle rise and fall of his chest beneath her head as she stared dreamily at the panoramic view.

  ‘Right now he looks like a normal, healthy boy to me,’ Jake chuckled, bringing her gaze around to John. The moment of inactivity had passed and he and Danny had erupted into a boisterous game of tag. ‘You worry about him too much, honey.’ His lips brushed the top of her hair in an affectionate caress.

  ‘I suppose I do,’ she agreed ruefully, resisting the impulse to snuggle closer. ‘But that comes from having to stretch yourself from one parent into two.’

  ‘You don’t have to do that any more.’ His arm tightened, drawing her nearer.

  She tilted her head back to look up at him, reeling a bit at the brightness in his eyes. ‘I know I don’t,’ she said, letting the slow smile of happiness widen her mouth.

  ‘One of these days,’ Jake murmured, ‘I’m going to accept that invitation written on your lips regardless of any people watching.’

  A waft of radiant confusion coloured her face which she quickly turned away. She wondered if he felt the sudden leaping of her heart.

  ‘Look, there’s a persimmon tree over there.’ She spoke to direct his attention away from her.

  ‘We’ll have to go persimmon and paw-paw picking this autumn after the first good frost,’ Jake nodded.

  ‘I’d like that.’

  ‘You don’t think we’re planning too far ahead?’ he whispered, nuzzling her ear playfully. Tanya drew back in surprise. ‘It’s too late!’ Jake laughed. ‘You’ve already committed yourself to going with me and I’m not going to let you back out. We have a date for this fall, so, my little honey, you’d better plan to stick around.’

  ‘That’s not fair,’ she protested.

  ‘All is fair,’ he mocked.

  Tanya would have pursued her argument if John hadn’t come running towards them with Danny only a step behind him.

  ‘Can I trade my pocket-knife to Danny for Harry? He said I could have him if I gave him my knife. Can I, please?’ he urged.

  ‘First of all, who is Harry?’ Tanya asked with an indulgent smile.

  ‘He’s my pet —’ Danny replied, sliding a sideways glance at John.

  ‘Surely you don’t want to give away your pet, do you?’ Jake inquired, amusement and suspicion in the gaze that encompassed the pair.

  ‘My mother says I have to get rid of it anyway,’ Danny shrugged.

  ‘Can I trade him my pocket-knife?’

  ‘I don’t know —’ Tanya began, only to have Jake interrupt.

  ‘Exactly what is Harry?’

  ‘Exactly?’ Danny repeated, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. ‘Harry is my pet … tarantula.’

  ‘A spider?’ A violent shudder quaked over Tanya’s shoulders and down her spine.

  ‘Tarantulas don’t hurt you, Mom,’ John rushed in. ‘They aren’t poisonous. Dad told me so. He said the ones in the jungle are, but these around here don’t hurt you when they bite you any more than a wasp sting hurts. They just crawl up your arm and things.’

  ‘No, absolutely not!’ she stated unequivocally.

  ‘Ah, Mom, please,’ John wheedled. ‘I’d keep him outside.’

  ‘Your mother said no, John,’ Jake stepped in. ‘There won’t be any more discussion about it, all right?’

  His head bobbed glumly in agreement as he scuffed his shoes in the gravel. ‘Come on, Danny,’ he grumbled.

  As the pair trotted away, Tanya shivered again and began vigorously rubbing her arms. ‘I can feel that horrible thing crawling on me right now,’ she shuddered.

  ‘Poor Little Miss Muffet,’ Jake teased. ‘Are you afraid of spiders?’

  ‘I have a terrible, unreasoning fear of them,’ she declared fervently. ‘It doesn’t matter how harmless they are. Even a daddy-long-legs can send me standing on a chair. I know it’s silly, but I can’t seem to help it.’

  ‘Well, you can be glad John asked before he made the trade. The poor boy would have been minus a pocket-knife and a spider the second you found out about it,’ Jake grinned.

  ‘I can be thankful for that,’ she agreed, another smaller shudder shaking her shoulders.

  ‘Or you could keep me around as your official spider-slayer,’ he suggested with a decidedly tongue-in-cheek expression.

  ‘That’s the best proposition you’ve made,’ Tanya laughed.

  ‘With a little encouragement,’ his eyes made a slow, deliberate appraisal of her curved figure, ‘I’d make a few more.’

  ‘I think …’ His disturbing look made it difficult to speak. ‘I think it’s time we took Danny home.’

  ‘You’re very adept at dodging the issue, aren’t you?’ Jake mocked, but drew no reply from Tanya. ‘Very well, we’ll call it a day. A very enjoyable day.’

  ‘Yes, it was,’ she agreed softly.

  That day spent almost entirely in each other’s company seemed to put their relationship one plateau higher than before. Jake paid more little attentions to her, greeting her specifically when he came home and not including her any more in a general greeting, holding her hand when she was standing or sitting next to him. A lot of little things that were
not significant on their own, but very special when looked at as a whole. Tanya could almost believe that he wanted to love her as a person, not as the mother of his child.

  It was becoming more and more easy to turn her face to his for the goodnight kiss that was slowly becoming a habit. He was always gentle and controlled, never demanding more than she was willing to give. Yet her reticence, born of fear, increased in the same proportion as her love for Jake. The rapport between them was bittersweet agony, made all the more painful by the shattering secret that kept pushing itself forward every time she thought she and Jake had a chance for happiness together.

  Perhaps if she had told him at the beginning, Tanya thought to herself as she idly plucked at the cord around the cushion of the redwood lounge chair. But where was the beginning? She only knew she had kept it from him too long for Jake to understand and forgive her.

  The patio door to the house slid open, drawing a casual glance from Tanya. Her eyes widened fractionally as Sheila Raines walked confidently towards her looking vitally attractive in a trouser suit of crimson red.

  ‘Hi,’ she greeted Tanya cheerfully. ‘Is Jake around?’

  ‘No, he hasn’t come home yet.’ A stillness crept into Tanya’s expression, instantly on guard at Sheila’s familiar tone.

  Red lips pursed in a grimacing pout. ‘That’s a pity. He said he was coming home early today, and I hoped to catch him here. Do you know how long he’ll be?’

  ‘No, I don’t.’ There was a condescending arch of Tanya’s brows. She refused to let Sheila know that Jake hadn’t confided his plans to her. ‘Would you like to wait for him?’

  ‘No,’ Sheila glanced at her diamond-studded watch. ‘I really have to dash off.’ A regretful sigh shuddered through the very feminine form. ‘I did so want to see him this afternoon.’

  ‘Was it important?’ Tanya asked archly, disliking the possessive ring in the girl’s voice. ‘I could give him a message for you.’

  ‘Would you?’ The voice gushed as though Tanya were doing her an enormous favour. ‘I could telephone him later on, of course, but I don’t like to intrude on the time he spends with his son.’

  ‘That’s very thoughtful of you,’ Tanya murmured, her temper seething closer to the surface.

  ‘There’s been a mix-up in the time we’re supposed to be at the Country Club. Tell him it’s one o’clock Saturday instead of two.’

  ‘Saturday at one. I’ll give him the message,’ Tanya nodded grimly.

  ‘Thanks,’ Sheila purred, turning as if to leave only to stop and add, ‘I almost forgot. I looked at that piece of property he was interested in buying. Tell him that it just won’t do at all. It’s practically inaccessible. What lakefront there is on it is a mass of barely submerged trees and the view is disgustingly bland. I’ll give him all the rest of the details on Saturday. Maybe then we’ll have time to go look at the property together.’

  Tanya was too angry to trust herself to speak. Jake had never mentioned one word to her that he was looking at land for sale in the area. Had these last months together been a trick intended to lull her into believing Jake cared while he continued to carry on his affair with Sheila? Sheila’s unexpected visit had made the affirmative answer to that question very apparent.

  Something in her expression must have betrayed the doubts and jealousy in her heart, because the brunette’s dark eyes glittered with complacent satisfaction as she waved goodbye and started for the patio door.

  ‘I’ll tell Patrick you said “hello”,’ she called cheerily.

  | Go to Table of Contents |

  Chapter Eight

  SHEILA HAD BEEN gone only a half hour when Tanya heard a car in the drive. Since Sheila had told her that Jake was coming home early today, she guessed that it had to be him. The anger that had seethed to the boiling point demanded she rush out to confront him with her knowledge of his affair with Sheila, but she remained in the lounge chair, the bitterness in her eyes hidden by sunglasses.

  It was several moments before the patio door opened and closed and Tanya glanced up to see Jake carrying two iced drinks in his hands. His gaze slid over her bare legs to the white shorts and the blue polka-dot top. In other circumstances his raking gaze would have disturbed her. Now she knew its falseness.

  ‘Cold nectar for the sun goddess,’ Jake mocked, handing her one of the glasses as he continued to stand above her.

  That lazy smile pierced her guard and sent her pulse leaping. Tanya suppressed a shudder over how completely she had succumbed to his virile charm.

  ‘I hadn’t expected you home so soon,’ she murmured, allowing only a saccharine smile to tug the corners of her mouth.

  ‘Mother stopped into the office this noon to have lunch with Dad. She mentioned she’d dropped John off at one of his friend’s house for a birthday party. I knew I wouldn’t have a better opportunity to be alone with my wife, so I persuaded Mother to do some shopping and drive Dad home later when she’d picked up John.’

  Tanya rose to her feet on the opposite side of the chair where Jake was standing. Bitterness rose like a sickening ball in her throat, with the knowledge that once such a statement would have elated her.

  ‘I had a visitor this afternoon,’ she announced casually, minutely examining his face through the protective darkness of her glasses.

  ‘Oh? Who was it?’

  ‘Sheila Raines.’ Her identification brought a brief moment of guarded stillness to his face as his eyes narrowed to study her marble smooth face.

  ‘What did she want?’ His tone of voice sounded curious but indifferent.

  ‘Actually she didn’t come to see me. It was you she was looking for.’ Tanya was glad he didn’t try to look surprised. In fact she found malicious pleasure in the grimness of his expression.

  ‘Did she say why?’

  ‘She did leave a message,’ Tanya nodded, glancing down at her drink, then she tilted her head back at a challenging angle. ‘I’m to tell you to meet her at one o’clock instead of two at the Country Club on Saturday. She didn’t say which one, but I’m sure you know.’ His blue eyes glittered with ominous coldness at the biting sarcasm in her voice. ‘And she also said she looked at that piece of property you were interested in and — in her words —“it won’t do at all”, something about submerged trees in the lake and bad roads. She said the two of you could look over some other property on Saturday.’

  ‘I intended to tell you about that this afternoon.’ The muscle twitching in his jaw indicated the tight check on his temper.

  ‘Well, now you don’t have to tell me, do you?’ she mocked sweetly. ‘I already know.’

  ‘You only know the part that Sheila told you, and you seem to have put the wrong construction on that,’ he snapped.

  ‘Oh, spare me the explanations!’ Tanya cried angrily, releasing the constricting hold she had placed on her temper. ‘I have no doubt that you can twist things around to make it sound as if you’ve done nothing wrong.’

  ‘I haven’t. Not the way you mean,’ Jake bit out.

  ‘How terribly self-righteous you must have felt that day you saw me with Patrick! You told me you couldn’t tolerate being deceived,’ she laughed bitterly. ‘That very day Patrick told me you were still seeing Sheila, but I refused to take him seriously. I accepted your word that you were going to try as hard as I to make our marriage work. I should have remembered how worthless your word was!’

  A string of muttered imprecations came from Jake as he covered the distance between them with the swiftness of a striking cobra. ‘You are going to listen to me!’ he growled, grabbing her shoulders and giving them a savage shake.

  But Tanya was just as quick to twist free, her anger pumping strength into her body that she didn’t normally possess.

  ‘I’ve listened to your lies for the last time!’

  ‘You’re doing the very same thing I did. You are accusing me and convicting me without even waiting for my explanation. Surely I’ve earned the right to a little of your tru
st!’ His tall form loomed near her, formidable in his leashed fury.

  ‘How gullible I must seem to you,’ Tanya declared, bitter shame bringing tears of anguish to her glittering gold eyes. ‘How many times I’ve believed you! And every time you’ve made a fool of me. Now you expect me to believe you again when you make up some innocent little tale to explain away the intimate relationship Sheila made so clear.’ Jake opened his mouth to speak, but her hand forestalled his words. ‘No, don’t say anything. You never once said you were giving Sheila up — in fact, you avoided the answer the only time I asked, so it really was only a white lie. Maybe I deceived myself. It doesn’t matter any more now that I know the truth.’

  ‘But you don’t know the truth! You won’t listen to the truth!’ His husky voice was embedded with angry exasperation.

  The shrill ring of the telephone sounded from inside the house. Jake determinedly ignored it. ‘You’d better answer that,’ Tanya murmured coldly. ‘Sheila said she might call later.’

  His gaze was harsh and ruthlessly thorough as it swept over the implacably firm expression on her face. The line of his mouth was taut and grim as he turned away to stride into the house.

  After his departure, the anger that had sustained her began to ebb away and Tanya could have wept at the unbearable pain in her heart. Without the support of her avenging rage, she sagged weakly against the patio railing, knowing she had a few minutes’ respite to regain her strength before Jake returned. Or so she thought, until the patio door slid open.

  ‘Tanya, come in here,’ he ordered in an uncompromising voice. She didn’t even glance in his direction as she moved her tawny hair in a negative movement. ‘Come in here or I’ll come and drag you in!’

  Something in his voice told her he would do that very thing if she refused him again, so she walked slowly towards him, keeping her shoulders squared and her gaze averted from the harshness of his. She didn’t attempt to shake free of the hand that closed over her arm and led her forcibly towards the telephone in the foyer, the receiver off the hook lying on top of the small stand.