To Crown a Caesar (The Praetorian Series: Book II)

by Crichton, Edward

  He smiled, directing it towards me. “I’ve always liked your woman,” he said, taking another pull of his wine. “Beautiful, angry and direct. Good qualities to have in a lover. If only all of us were so lucky.” He finished his thoughts with another long gulp of his wine, streams of the liquid messily running down his mouth.

  “Maybe you should slow down a bit, Galba,” I said, indicating his cup. “I think you’ve had enough.”

  “Bah!” He said, swinging his empty cup wildly. “I’m sure Vespasian won’t care. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s in his tent doing the same thing right now.”

  Galba stood, swaying in place after getting up too fast, his hand flying out to grasp his desk for stability. I looked at Helena and she returned my look with an amused smile. I rolled my eyes and stood to help the Roman collect his bearings.

  He shrugged me off. “I’m fine… I’m fine. Now. Back under the bed. I will bring you some food tonight, but then you must leave.”

  “What about my plan?” I asked as he turned to leave.

  He reached up and gripped the cross bracing that held the tent together, just above the entrance. He hung there for a few seconds before turning to face me. “I will help you but not until the campaign is under way. Hopefully, you can then draw Agrippina away from Germany and let the professionals handle the war. Then we can use Vespasian’s triumphs to help convince the Senate and people of Rome he’s a worthy successor.”

  I smiled. “Hey, that’s a good idea. Wish I would have thought of that.”

  Galba didn’t return the smile. “I’ve had plenty of time to think today, and will have plenty of time still to come. You have not made my life any easier with your words; I just hope I don’t come to resent you for it.”

  I gulped, hoping he didn’t either. Galba turned and stumbled out of the tent, leaving Helena and I alone once again. Standing halfway between the entrance and Helena, I turned and looked at her. She gave me a shrug, moved over to the cabinet where she placed her P90, retrieved it and started to clean it.

  I dug out my radio and switched it back on.

  I clicked the PTT button and spoke into my throat mic, “3-3, 3-1, over.”

  Santino’s voice came back almost immediately. “This is 3-3. Where the fuck have you been?”

  I smiled. “Sorry, 3-3. 3-2 and I have been…” I thought for the right words, something between the truth and something to push his buttons. “been busy.”

  “Aw, that’s cute. Now, want to fill me in on why you turned off your damn radio?”

  “Sorry again,” I repeated, “3-2 and I needed to lie low for the day. Our conversation with Triple Chin took longer than expected.” I still had to smile at our use of call signs and code names. There was no way anyone could pick up our transmissions, but it was still a good practice. “But, the mission was still successful. We’ve also learned that target November is staying onboard the barge.”

  “What’s November doing here?”

  “He’s with The Whore,” I answered, looking over at Helena, who looked up from her cleaning to give me another grin. That designation was her idea. “Apparently, she has big plans for the legion. We’ll talk about it later.”

  “Roger. Don’t forget to keep me updated this time,” he said, his voice bitter.

  “Copy. 3-1 out.”

  I finished the conversation by switching off the radio. Rechargeable or not, it was still best to keep it off when it wasn’t needed.

  I moved over to the bed, arriving just as Helena replaced her P90 in the cabinet. I pulled up the sheet on Galba’s bed for her to crawl under and I followed quickly. Beneath the bed, we settled into our familiar position, with less awkwardness than last time. It was getting chilly, and Helena’s body warmth was definitely appreciated.

  “What do you think?” I asked.

  “I think Galba’s turned into a drunk.” She said pointedly.

  I sighed. “That had occurred to me, yes. Last night, I could have sworn I smelt alcohol on his breath as well.”

  “Anything in history to suggest he was an abuser?”

  “No,” I replied, frustrated. “Looks like another life we’ve fucked up thanks to our medaling.”

  She didn’t look convinced, but at least her face remained supportive. “Jacob, you have to stop blaming yourself. It’s not your fault.”

  “But it is. It’s still my fault we ended up in ancient Rome in the first place, in case you forgot. My fault I touched that stupid blue orb. My fault Caligula and Claudius are dead and it’s my fault we’re under this damn bed!” I almost yelled the last part, but settled for punching the bed’s wooden frame instead. It hurt like holy hell and I clutched my hand and bit my lip to keep from yelling out. Once the pain subsided I turned my head away from hers and frowned. “My fault.”

  Helena reached out gently and griped my hand, bringing it to her mouth to give it a kiss. She wrapped her other hand around my cheek and gently turned my head towards hers. “No, it wasn’t,” she said sternly, her eyes drilling into mine.

  When she looked at me like that, I could almost believe it wasn’t my fault.

  Almost.

  “Besides,” she pressed. “Don’t you remember saying something about how you wouldn’t change anything about our past five years together? And don’t even think about considering the last four months in your answer.”

  I smiled at her, but I guess I had said that. If not for being transported to ancient Rome, Helena and I may never have clicked. We might have served our entire careers together in the modern world never having found that moment that brought us together. Most modern military regulations frowned on any kind of relationship between members of the military, but when we found ourselves trapped in ancient Rome, most of those regulations were thrown out the window.

  She was right. I wouldn’t trade her in for anything.

  “Sorry. I guess I’ve been thinking too much lately.”

  “You’re always thinking too much.”

  “True,” I said while she shifted in my arms and closed her eyes to get some sleep.

  I tried to follow suit, clearing my mind of just about everything, letting thoughts of time travel, Agrippina, the abduction of a child, and the memories of a bygone home drift away into nothingness.

  ***

  If I could be thankful of one thing in that moment, it would be my ability to fall asleep on a whim. It didn’t take much, and while continuation of sleep was never guaranteed for me, the act of putting myself into a state of dreaming unconsciousness was something that came easy, all in thanks to a handful of men who had beaten it into me, barring any unforeseen lightning storms, of course.

  Basic Underwater Demolition/SEALS training, better known as BUD/S was many things. It was a test, an evaluation, a training program, and a lesson in bitter punishment, but what it did best was turn a graduate into a man eligible to wear the SEAL Trident, but only eligible.

  The Trident would come later.

  But the one thing I hadn’t anticipated upon completion of the program was that BUD/S was also a wonderful sleep aid clinic.

  Trainers would drill into us the idea that sleep was a luxury, and to expect it every night would lead to weakness. Days had blurred together, with late nights and early wake up calls. Our alarm clocks consisted of flashbang grenades, the sound of gunfire or the excruciating belittling of an instructor, and I learned to sleep whenever I had time for it. Over the weeks, my body began to instinctually process that sleep far more efficiently than ever, allowing what little sleep I earned to rejuvenate my body more than a solid eight hours had before.

  I learned a lot at BUD/S, and our instructors made sure to deprive us of whatever daily accommodation we normally took for granted to ensure we would appreciate them more in the future. Even food was withheld, at least for us officers. The enlisted men could eat as much as they wanted in the time they had, consuming as many calories as their body desired, but those of us privileged with rank, only got one serving per meal.

/>   I had already graduated from Officer Candidate School, and had thought that Special Forces training for the SEALs would go easier because of it. Boy was I wrong. Officers had to endure more hardships, face tougher challenges and be brought that much closer to the breaking point than anyone else. A common foot soldier who lost his cool got himself killed, but an officer could get everyone killed. The instructors made sure to stress that point thoroughly which, when combined with everything else, resulted in the dozen officers in my class dwindling to only a few on graduation day, a testament to the BUD/S drop out record, which they were damn proud of.

  Of course, it could have just been the warm, female body lying next to me that did it.

  Either way, I awoke a few hours after nightfall and patiently waited for Galba to return. When he did, he came through on his promise of bringing us some food. Helena and I ate quietly and listened to Galba update us on what was happening in the camp.

  He reported that camp morale was high. No surprise. I still remember the first time we walked into the XV Primigenia’s camp five years ago and how the men reacted to Helena’s presence. Sure there had been a few bad apples, but most went well out of their way to impress her, and efficiency in the camp comically improved. I could only imagine their reaction to Agrippina.

  The legionnaires didn’t seem overly concerned about her taking overall command either, but then why should they? They were in awe of the beautiful head of state, and had no doubt her ability to command was equally matched by her appearance. It made me sick to my stomach. The next time I saw her would be too soon, and judging by how I predict events will play out, probably even sooner than that.

  An hour later, Galba went to bed early, well before midnight, so unable to go anywhere for another hour or two, Helena and I donned our combat fatigues and gear, sat against the cabinet and waited.

  For situations just like this, I’d taught Helena how to play evens/odds a few years ago, so we wasted our time playing that. The game was one of random chance, yet she still managed to beat me nearly every time.

  Sometimes I swore she could read my mind.

  I always suspected women could do that.

  At 0200, we decided the coast was as clear as it was going to be, so after a day cooped up in Galba’s tent, we ventured out into the clear night sky. It was an unusually muggy night, warmer than it had been in days, an early indication of spring’s arrival. I sent Santino a quick message to let him know we were inbound and slipped out of the tent. We retraced our steps back to the wall, scaling the fortification quickly, maneuvered around the guard easily, slipped over the outer wall, and donned our ghilli suits. The rest of the trip was slow but likewise uneventful. When we reached the tree line, we removed our camouflage and looked for Santino.

  He was nowhere to be seen so we crept around the edge of the woods, our rifles scanning for potential threats, when a dark figure emerged from a shrub. Santino’s face was obscured by his night vision goggles, the only part of him visible being two small, green circles around his eyes, a result of the backlight from his NVGs. The eyes were very unsettling, and the bad guys reacted to it fearfully every time.

  “Old McDonald had a farm,” he said.

  “What?” I asked, perplexed at the comment.

  “Old McDonald had a farm,” he repeated more insistently.

  I looked over at Helena, but she didn’t seem to have any idea what he was talking about either.

  “What the hell are you babbling about?” She asked.

  Santino stood straighter, and pulled up his NVGs to reveal his frowning face. “Old McDonald had a farm. What’s the counter signal?”

  “We don’t have one,” I replied. “Never have.”

  “No counter signal?” He said sadly. “What kind of spy movie is this?”

  ***

  Santino hadn’t sat idle while Helena and I had vacationed in Galba’s tent, a fact he couldn’t help but bring up over and over again. He’d crept along the tree line during the day towards the Rhine and took a few photos of Agrippina’s pleasure barge. As I suspected, Santino’s initial report was confirmed to be mere hyperbole, but the size of the ship was still impressive. It was extravagantly large but still buoyant on small inland rivers, and the Rhine easily accommodated its presence. It was a wonder of Roman engineering.

  After scanning the photographs, our first objective was to plan our insertion.

  Over the years, Santino, Helena and I had taught each other key skills one of us possessed but the other didn’t. Helena had taught Santino how to be an effective spotter, teaching him what to look for in shapes, colors and movement in objects to help discern their threat level. She would place small, nearly invisible objects for him to try and find from a distance, and record how many he could. It was a training method used during sniper school, but Santino’s lack of patience made him a tough student.

  As for Santino, he had taught me some of the finer points in tracking, scouting, and silent movement, as well as some pointers on knife fighting. I had become pretty good at sword play over the years, but what he taught me was how to go head to head with nothing but a dagger or a boot knife. We’d received dozens of cuts on our forearms as a result and I had grown a resounding fear of ever having to put it to use. Hollywood had done a disservice to the fighting style because it wasn’t easy and it was extremely terrifying.

  Finally, I had tutored Helena on underwater demolition work. SEAL training emphasized a multitude of underwater combat techniques, and rigging ships with explosives was an important one. It wasn’t an easy job, and I figured it might be worth having someone else who could assist me with it one day. We had waterproof explosives in our supplies, but knowing where and how much to use took a skilled hand, and the psychological battle alone deserved respect.

  The prospect of maneuvering beneath a hulking ship, with nothing but the deep dark water beneath you was one that broke plenty of spirits in BUD/S. Helena and I had spent many warm summer days swimming in the rivers and lakes of the Roman Empire, sometimes frolicking, but most of the time performing extensive training.

  With those skill sets in mind, the plan we developed was simple. Phase one called for Helena and I to slip under the boat and plant enough explosives to do nothing but distract the barge’s inhabitants. All I wanted was to cause enough damage to confuse and distract those on board if we had to cut and run. If I knew Roman’s like I knew I did, their engineers would have constructed the ship so that a few holes wouldn’t sink her.

  To put it simpler: the Titanic would not have sunk had the Romans built her.

  Santino would spot for us during phase one, but for phase two, Helena would hang back and provide sniper support while Santino accompanied me aboard. That put those who were best at their particular jobs in all the right places. We’d probably sneak around for the better part of the morning, but when we found Nero, we’d take him. If we found Agrippina, maybe we’ll stop by for a chat.

  We still had another day of recon before Helena and I began phase one.

  IV

  Frogmen

  Badass Entry #4

  Lt. Jonathon Archibald Santino III

  Vindonissa, Germania Superior - April, 42 A.D.

  This journal is lame

  The story is pathetic. The plot is slow. There’s no nudity. The writers are just… well, you know… pathetic mostly.

  We need some more testosterone around here. Good thing I’m around.

  Still, I love those guys. They’d do anything for me, and I’d throw myself in front of a bullet for either one of them… so it’s nice that there aren’t many bullets flying at us these days.

  Besides, they seem to have nothing but nice things to say about me most of the time.

  Anyway, they’ve got the story pretty much caught up at this point, so I’ll get to the point.

  Helena’s journal entry was only a few days ago, but it seems that since then, Jacob convinced Galba to help us with this crazy mission of his. We’ve also learned that our p
rimary target, Nero, is also here. Jacob wants to capture him and hold him ransom to get Agrippina to step down – at least that’s what he tells us when he decides to tell us anything at all. Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of the whole capturing a child part of the plan, but I know who Nero is.

  He’s bad mojo. Or, at least he will be.

  But whatever.

  Helena and Jacob are getting ready to plant some demo on Agrippina’s barge before he and I infiltrate it tomorrow.

  Agrippina.

  Man. Now there was a fine piece of ass. Beautiful. Big boobs. Great body. She threw herself all over me a few years ago, and damn was it worth it. Too bad she’s a freak, and I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot cattle prod these days, and probably shouldn’t have then.

  Whatever. It was worth it.

  Hey… Jacob gave me this journal to jot down some thoughts while he and Helena complete phase one of the mission. I told him it wasn’t a good idea, but he said the journal would appeal to a broader audience if it was written from multiple perspectives.

  Joke’s on you, buddy.

  Wow!

  Sorry. Just peeked through my binoculars to check in on the lovebirds, and I just caught an eyeful. Not of Jacob (thanks every god that’s ever existed) but of Helena. Hey, it’s my job to spot for them and Helena really shouldn’t expose herself out in the open like that. Remember what I said about Agrippina? Throw in an actual human being with a soul, and you got Helena. I still can’t believe that dork got that lucky. She’s way too good for him.

  Shit. Looks like I went on a bit too long here. They’ve already slipped into the water. I blame Helena.

  By the way, if this does get made into a movie, you all know who the real star should be.

  Me.

  Good luck casting this thing, by the way.

  Especially me.

  Look me up in a few thousand years. I should be hitting my prime right around then.

  Who better to play me, than me?