A Father This Christmas?

by Louisa Heaton

  Although now she knew that he had turned his back on his family—but why?

  He had family who cared about him—he’d mentioned that earlier, and that there hadn’t been any huge falling-out. But he’d stayed away from them when quite clearly they would have supported him through whatever it was. And if there was something he was still running from, was he the sort of person she wanted around her son? Did he flee when the going got tough? Should she be letting Seb get to know him? Because if Jacob was going to bolt then she needed to know.

  She brought up the staffing schedule for the day and saw that Jacob was supposed to be at work in Minors again today.

  I need to get on with my work. I can talk to him later.

  She picked up her next patient file and headed off to call the patient through, but as she walked through Minors a cubicle curtain swished open and there he was.

  ‘Hello.’

  ‘Hi. You okay?’ he asked.

  His patient smiled and hobbled past them on crutches, one ankle bandaged neatly.

  She waited until the man was out of earshot. Then blew out a breath to calm herself, tucking her hair behind one ear and using the moment to try to focus.

  ‘I’m fine. I’m glad I ran into you, though. I wanted to have a quick word about our...situation.’

  ‘Oh...?’

  She looked up into his eyes and once again found herself cursing his parents for giving him the most startling blue eyes she’d ever seen on a man. He had sickeningly long lashes, too, all dark and perfectly outlining his almond-shaped eyes. Any woman would kill to have lashes like his.

  ‘Have you got a minute?’

  ‘Sure. Fire away.’

  ‘I need to know your intentions.’

  He looked puzzled. ‘My what?’

  ‘Your intentions. With Seb. With the future.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I don’t under—’

  ‘You’re on a temporary contract here. For the Christmas period. I...er... I need to know if you’re going to be temporary elsewhere, too.’ She babbled her words, rushing to say them, to get them out of her mouth so that they wouldn’t be clogging up her brain any more.

  Jacob looked at her, his brow furrowed with lines.

  ‘Are you a stable influence for me to have around Seb? Because if you’re not, if you’re going to disappear again, then I don’t want you around him. Getting to know him. Being in his life for five minutes and then disappearing. Leaving me to handle the fall-out again—only this time with a small child in tow, who will ask questions and be hurt that his father couldn’t stick around.’

  He looked annoyed that she would even suggest it. ‘I’m going to be there for my son.’

  ‘Always?’

  ‘Always.’

  ‘Good.’

  She’d believe it when she saw it. She wanted to trust him. Desperately so. But life had taught her that it didn’t always work that way.

  He laid a hand on her arm and looked her deeply in the eyes. ‘When I came back I didn’t expect to discover that I had a child. But I do, and I’m thrilled, and I’m going to be the best father he could ever have.’

  She tried not to think about his hand on her arm. Warm and reassuring.

  ‘Right. Glad to hear it.’

  ‘Don’t ever doubt me when it comes to Seb.’

  She looked up into his dark blue eyes and nodded.

  * * *

  Somehow, magically, there was a brief lull in patients. The waiting room had almost emptied and Jacob took a brief moment to sit outside, cradling a hot cup of coffee and wrapped up tight in his jacket and scarf.

  He could feel the weight of his phone in his pocket. Could feel it burning into him as he debated making that call back home. Imagining the scenarios, the conversations, the questions he would no doubt receive.

  Could he face them and tell the truth finally? He’d decided in Africa that he could. But now that the time was upon him—the time to pick up that phone and make the contact that he knew his parents and family would crave—he felt anxious.

  He knew they’d ask. He knew they’d want answers. So would he in their position.

  I should never have let so much time pass without contacting them.

  He was angry with himself for that. Angry with himself for a lot of things. He’d been responsible for what had eventually happened. He’d worked too hard, he’d taken for granted Michelle’s feelings for him, and once he’d got that engagement ring on her finger he’d stopped trying. Stopped showing her how much she meant to him. No wonder she’d ended up with another man. His best friend!

  That betrayal had hurt. The woman he’d professed to love and his best friend... It had been obvious afterwards. The amount of time they’d spent together... And to think he’d been so pleased that Michelle and Marcus got on so well together! Working together to plan the wedding!

  I pushed them together. It was my fault.

  Accepting his part in it had been a major trigger point for his coming home. He’d spent a couple of years blaming them. Their betrayal, their deceit, their cheating. It had been uncomfortable to turn that questioning on himself. But when he had... He’d taken some time to admit it, but he had found himself wanting. Had accepted what he’d done on their wedding day, yelling at her like that, causing her to rush off in tears, crying at the wheel...

  He pulled the phone from his pocket and brought up his list of contacts. He scrolled down to M and found the listing he wanted.

  Mum and Dad

  Jacob let out a sigh and looked about him. An ambulance had just pulled up and was offloading a new patient, strapped to a backboard. Briefly he thought about going in to help out, but dismissed the idea.

  He needed to do this. Make contact. He’d spent too long shutting the door on painful things in his past and he’d vowed to himself that when he came back from Africa he would face everything. He’d call his parents. He’d tell them the truth of what had happened that day. He’d tell them what he had done wrong. He would tell them everything...

  He could imagine hearing their voices. How delighted they’d sound. He knew they wouldn’t be cross. They weren’t that type of people. His parents were easy-going and caring. They’d have worried, sure. They’d have fretted. Big time. But they wouldn’t greet him with anger.

  So just do it already!

  He pressed his thumb to the screen and then put the phone up to his ear. He felt odd. Not nervous. Apprehensive...? But he sucked in a breath and knew he could handle this. He was ready now. He never had been before. But now he needed his family as he never had before. Now that he was a father himself. Now was the time to reconnect. Because of Seb.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Dad?’

  A pause. ‘Jacob?’

  He smiled. ‘Yeah, Dad. It’s me.’

  * * *

  A little boy had been brought into A&E by his terrified father. Separated from the mother of his child, he’d been looking after his son and had woken him from a sleep to find a lump on his forehead that had appeared suddenly.

  Eva had called the mother in from work and the two parents had been at loggerheads from the get-go.

  ‘You must have some idea, Lee! Did he fall? Have an accident? Go out on the ice?’

  Lee looked utterly perplexed. ‘No! Nothing!’

  ‘Were you drinking again?’

  Eva stepped in between them as their voices began to carry across the department. ‘That’s enough!’ She eyed both of them, the look on her face the only warning they’d get, watching them both, making sure she had their attention. ‘You can argue later, but right now we have to look after Ben. Okay?’

  The father nodded quickly, the mother reluctantly, mumbling under her breath, ‘I should never have trusted you in the first place.’

 
Eva could understand her distress. It was a mother’s worst nightmare to find out that something was wrong with her child whilst she was at work. The most obvious explanation for Ben’s large bump would be an accident, but Ben’s father had denied that—and if things were as bad between them as it seemed from the way they were acting, she could see why the mud-slinging had begun and why the father was in the line of fire.

  ‘Let’s concentrate on Ben, shall we?’

  His father gripped the handrails of the bed. ‘I was with him all the time, Doctor—he didn’t fall or bang his head anywhere.’

  ‘Was there any time when you weren’t watching him? Any chance he could have had an accident without your noticing?’

  ‘No. Apart from when Ben fell asleep for a bit, and I caught forty winks myself. It’s been manic recently, getting my new place ready for Christmas. But I woke up before he did and when I checked on him I noticed this lump that had appeared whilst he was still asleep.’

  Strange, Eva thought. So if there was no chance of trauma, what else could it be? A sebaceous cyst? Pott’s puffy tumour? A cyst was unlikely, as it would have been present for some time before becoming infected.

  ‘Has he had a cold recently?’

  The mother answered, ‘For over a week. He’s had a badly blocked nose.’

  Eva bent down to look at her patient. ‘Is your head sore, Ben?’

  Ben nodded sadly.

  She knew she needed a CT scan to confirm her diagnosis, but before she could say anything the parents began again.

  ‘This would never have happened if he’d been with me,’ the mother sniped.

  ‘Well, you were at work, weren’t you? He had to be with me.’

  ‘I should have asked my mother.’

  ‘I can look after my own son!’

  ‘Can you? Because we seem to be in hospital—and I don’t really think that means you looked after him very well, does it?’

  Eva raised her hands. ‘Please keep your voices down.’ She stepped from the cubicle and sighed. These two parents were obviously struggling to share custody of their child.

  Would she and Jacob become like that over time? Would she be ringing him, wherever he was, and yelling at him down the phone for not being there? She hoped not. All she’d ever wanted was for Seb to be happy, and having warring parents wasn’t the way. She’d seen too much of that growing up in foster homes. If Seb ended up in hospital ill, she hoped they would pull together for their son and not bash heads like these two parents were doing.

  Jacob seemed a reasonable man. So far. He’d promised he would stick around for Seb. But people made promises they couldn’t keep all the time. If things got tough and Jacob left...

  I hope he doesn’t. I hope he can prove me wrong.

  He was a very handsome man; she’d be stupid to think he would remain single. What would happen if he fell in love with someone? If his life was filled with someone else? Would Jacob still want to be around her and Seb? She was his past. They’d only shared a bed once. Made a child together. The likelihood of him having feelings for her was small.

  She’d always, always been the one in control of Seb’s life. Both mother and father to him. Now that responsibility was going to be shared and it scared her. What if Jacob did something wrong? Jacob wanted a say in his son’s life. What would that be like?

  She wasn’t sure she could see it going well.

  We need to get together and talk about this. It’s all changing so fast.

  But she wanted desperately for it to go smoothly. For Seb. He was a good kid. Responsible and very mature for his age.

  I definitely don’t want us to be like Ben’s parents.

  She set her shoulders and went off to order a CT scan for Ben.

  Jacob was there, waiting for a patient of his own. He took her to one side. ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘Yes, but not now. I’ve got a patient.’

  ‘So have I! But I don’t want to talk about this at your home, Eva. Not with Seb in earshot.’

  ‘So you do care about what he hears?’

  ‘Of course I care. I’m here for Seb forever. He’s part of me. He’s part of my life. I’ve just called my parents. Told them I’m back. Told them about Seb.’ He let out a huge sigh. ‘Big phone call for them.’

  ‘You did?’ Surprise filled her face. She wondered how they’d reacted.

  ‘They were...very happy.’

  ‘They were?’ Eva felt a warm feeling in her gut. A small spark of happiness. She could accept that people had rejected her in her lifetime, but for Seb she wanted nothing but acceptance and welcoming arms.

  ‘Yes.’ Jacob nodded.

  Eva looked at him, shocked at this turnaround. She hadn’t suspected this. ‘Big day for the Dolan family.’

  He nodded and smiled. ‘Yes, but telling my mum she’s a grandmother again tended to make everything all right. When I rang off she was getting excited about shopping for more Christmas presents.’

  ‘But they were thrilled?’

  ‘Very. Although it did make me think that I need to get Seb something for Christmas, so I wondered if you’d do me a favour?’

  ‘Depends what it is.’ She smiled to show she was joking. But she did want to hear what it was before she agreed to anything.

  ‘I don’t know what he’d like, so I wondered if you’d come Christmas shopping with me? There’s only a couple of weeks left till the big day.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘Later today?’ Now it was his turn to smile. ‘When our shifts are over? Well?’

  She couldn’t think of any reason why not. She had a good couple of hours before she had to pick Seb up from her neighbour’s and she needed to go shopping herself, really. Christmas was looming fast and she didn’t know when she might next get some free time. She didn’t want to leave it to the last minute. Plus, it would give her an opportunity to talk to him. Learn more about him.

  ‘Okay. I’ll meet you after my shift ends.’

  * * *

  He drove them both into town. It wasn’t too far from the hospital, but it would have been impossible if they’d tried to walk it. Once he’d found them a parking space, after circling a car park for ten minutes, they got out and headed into the shopping centre.

  The first thing they heard, apart from the noise of chattering shoppers, was Christmas music. A beautiful rendition of ‘Silent Night’ was being sung live by a group of choristers at the base of the elevators.

  The interior of the shopping centre was bedecked in beautiful glittering decorations in silver and white and an enormous tree stood at one end, festooned in white fairy lights with an enormous silver star at its apex.

  ‘Wow! That looks amazing!’ Eva gasped in wonder, instantly sucked into the atmosphere of the season and forgetting all about the pressures of work—the clock-watching, the reports to write out by hand as well as on the computer, the endless stream of patients, the sickness, the damage that people could do to one another. ‘You almost forget there’s life outside of the hospital.’

  ‘There’s a grotto.’ Jacob pointed at a small wintry woodland display, festooned with mechanical bears and a snowy wood cabin. ‘We should bring Seb.’

  We.

  She liked that. It sounded strange after being the only one to think about Seb. That he already seemed to see them as a family unit felt surreal. But good. Seb had loved having his daddy there last night, and Eva had to admit that she had been looking forward to him coming again.

  It was nearly Christmas. And here she was, shopping with the father of her child, and it all seemed so simple and so easy—if she would just let it be that way.

  ‘Where do you want to look first?’ she asked.

  Jacob pulled off his hat and gloves and shoved them into his pocket, running his fingers through his g
orgeous hair to straighten it out. ‘I don’t know. There’s just so much!’

  ‘That jigsaw was a hit. And he likes playing football. Maybe a small trampoline?’

  ‘I don’t want to get him another jigsaw. I’d like to get him something fun.’

  ‘Shall we just browse?’

  He looked about him, overwhelmed by all the places they might have to go. ‘Why not?’

  They set off into a huge store that specialised in children’s toys. It was so noisy in there! Filled with parents doing the same thing, along with children testing out the toys on display, watching robotic dogs and hamsters whizzing about on the floor. They sidestepped those and headed down one of the aisles, where there seemed to be an abundance of educational toys.

  ‘What sort of things did you like as a child?’ Eva asked.

  ‘I played outside a lot. In the orchard. I made up a lot of my own games. Bits of wood for a sword, made my own bow and arrow—it was useless, but it was fun! You?’

  Eva shrugged noncommittally. ‘I never really had much. I was hardly ever in a real home for Christmas, and the children’s home I kept going back to just got us practical things like clothes or shoes. I got a copy of Black Beauty once and I read it over and over until it fell apart.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’

  He looked it, too, but she didn’t want his pity. She shrugged it off. ‘It’s okay. Anyway, this Christmas Seb really has a sense of what’s going on and he’s excited. I want to make it special for him.’

  ‘Me, too.’

  There seemed to be plenty of things to choose from. Games that would teach children about shopping, about telling the time, about learning the days of the week or the months of the year, or what the weather was like. Jacob didn’t want to get his son anything like that. He wanted to get Seb something that was really fun.

  ‘Three’s a difficult age. What sort of things can he do?’