Filthy Desire

by Sebastian Ex

  When I’m half-way down I see the bottom of a St. Andrew’s Cross, and her feet come into view. They’re lifeless, completely still. I get to her and can’t recognize the woman before me. I mean, I know it’s Ella, but her face is swollen so badly all her features are unrecognizable. “Kitten,” I say as I untie her feet first, then her wrists, and when she’s finally free, she collapses in my arms. “Oh Kitten,” I say again as I carry her over to a sofa next to the cross and feel for a pulse.

  “Matthew,” Brandon says as he comes down the stairs followed by Nathan.

  “She’s breathing. He hasn’t killed her.” I smooth her hair and just try to catch my breath. “She must have passed out.”

  Nathan looks at Ella’s broken body and runs back upstairs, only to return a few moments later with a blanket to cover her.

  “She’s alright,” I say again. I’m trying to reassure myself, not Brandon and Nathan.

  “She’ll be okay, man,” Brandon says, and puts a hand on my shoulder.

  I hear what he’s saying, but it doesn’t register. I’m lost in the feel of my girl in my arms. I’m relieved she’s okay, but I’m ready to finish off the bastard upstairs.

  My mind churns with one thought and one thought alone – the need to kill him.

  “Nathan, go get my car. Brandon, when we get upstairs I need you to take Ella. You guys leave. I’ll meet you back at my house.”

  “No way, man. You’ve got that look in your eye that says you’re gonna kill him,” Brandon says.

  “You don’t need to know what I’m going to do. You just need to take her back to my apartment and care for her. I won’t be long.”

  “No. I’m not going to let you do something stupid,” Brandon says quietly.

  “And I can’t let you do something stupid, either. I’m a cop and I need to report all of this,” Nathan adds.

  “Nathan,” I say, my voice dropping, “This is not open for negotiation.” Brandon stands looking at me, and Nathan opens his mouth to argue. “What would you do if you found Bianca like this?”

  “More than you can imagine,” he replies instantly. He pauses and then nods, “I understand.” He takes my keys and disappears upstairs. I stand and carry my girl up the stairs and hand her over to one of the few men I trust to look after her.

  I kiss her on a small patch of unbroken skin at her temple. “Take care of her.”

  And I watch as Brandon puts her in my car. They leave, taking the woman I love away from this house of hell.

  I close the front door, grab Viviente by the shirt and drag him down the stairs. I strip him of his clothes completely and with some difficulty, because I’ve beaten him unconscious. He’s dead weight. I suspend him up on the cross, tightly binding him, chaining him like the rabid animal he is. I walk over to the wall of paddles, and find one with nails that have been hammered into the paddle. With a swift strike, I swat him in the balls with it. This wakes him from his death-like state.

  “Fuck!” he screams as he tries to see through the small slits in his bashed-in face.

  “You took something that didn’t belong to you,” I tell him in a low, strained voice.

  “She’s a fucking homeless whore,” he tries to argue. I smack him one against his legs with the paddle. “Fuck!” he yells again in pain.

  “You hurt her. Now I’m going to hurt you.”

  “Wait, I’ve got money! I can give it to you.”

  “Not interested. But I want Scott’s last name and address.”

  “He doesn’t want her anymore. He’s got a new pet. One who likes it harder than that slut ever did.”

  I swat him again, directly on his flaccid dick. He screams and begins to cry.

  This beast, this weak pathetic excuse for a man is about to die. And I want him to know it’s because of me. I look around the room and see the furnace on the other side of the sofa. I go to it and look to see how it’s connected. My rage spikes again as Viviente continues to whimper. Fuck the controls. Instead, I give it a mighty shove and dislodge it slightly from the wall and almost disconnect the gas line in the process. It takes every ounce of strength in me, but he hurt my woman, and now it’s retribution time.

  “What are you doing?” he asks, his voice filled with terror.

  “Burning you alive, unless you give me Scott’s details.” I look around and see an ashtray with discarded cigarettes, which means somewhere there’s a lighter.

  The pitiful bastard rattles off Scott’s last name and address. I don’t bother writing it down; I commit it to memory. Every number, and every word he said. “Please, let me go,” he whines. I remain quiet and give him nothing. I jostle the gas line connection until I can smell the faint, telltale scent of rotten eggs.

  I dig around in his suit pants pocket and finally find the lighter. I search the room for the next thing I need, but don’t see anything. I go upstairs into his kitchen and find a rolled up, unread newspaper on his dining table.

  Taking it downstairs, I light it and wave it in front of his face.

  “It’s going to look like a BDSM session gone wrong,” I say as I drop the paper on the sofa near the furnace.

  I walk away, hearing him scream, begging for his life and yelling about how he helped me. The noise of the pathetic animal is silenced when I close the basement door.

  I walk out the front door, and down the street in the middle of the night. In the darkness, everything is silent and still. By the time I’m a few streets away I hear an almighty huge explosion.

  I smile.

  Twenty-one

  It takes me just over four hours to get home. If by chance a neighbor saw my car and took down my tags, then I’ll face the consequences. But seeing as we were there shortly before one a.m., I suspect in a quiet neighborhood like that, everyone would’ve been asleep.

  I take the elevator up to my penthouse. Nathan and Brandon are in the kitchen drinking coffee when I come through the door.

  “How is she?” I ask, almost bypassing them to go straight to Ella.

  “She woke up screaming. I talked to her until she calmed down. Nathan called a doctor friend of his and he made a house call. He gave her a sedative and she’ll be out for at least the next twelve hours,” Brandon says.

  I nod, but for the first time I feel hopeless. I was supposed to protect her. She’s mine to keep safe, and I let her down.

  “Richard, the doctor, said he’ll come back tomorrow to check on her.”

  “What did you tell him about what happened to her?”

  “He’s a friend of Bianca’s and mine. He’s also into the lifestyle, so I told him the truth,” Nathan explains. “He doesn’t think anything’s broken, which is surprising considering how badly he fucked her face and body up.”

  “Yeah, okay. That’s good, at least.” Suddenly, I’m exhausted. All I want is to lie beside Ella and hold her in my arms.

  “Look, we’re gonna take off, let you be with your girl. There are some sleeping tablets and strong pain pills Richard left for her, but he’ll be back tomorrow sometime to check on her.”

  “Before you go, Nathan, here.” I grab a piece of paper from the kitchen drawer and write down all of Scott’s details, having committed them to memory. “This guy is a sick fuck. I don’t know how you’re going to do it, but he’s holding a girl in his basement against her will, and uses her as a sex toy.”

  “I filled Nathan in on Ella’s past,” Brandon says.

  “Get him arrested before I fly out there and kill him myself.” I slide the paper across to Nathan.

  He picks it up, reads it and nods once. “I’ll take care of it.”

  I see Brandon and Nathan to the elevator, and as soon as they leave I strip and take a shower. When I’m done, I push the armchair from the family room into our bedroom and sit up to keep a watchful eye on Ella.

  Ella had made such progress. She’d begun to find strength in herself. She was finally building confidence and she’d started trusting me. Now I’m afraid that’s all been strippe
d away from her.

  She’ll need to take baby steps to rebuild herself again, and this time I fear it will be twice as hard. The only difference is I’ll be right by her side the entire time.

  “NO!” Ella screams and jerks me up out of the chair in less time than it took my heart to beat. Ella’s sitting up in bed, clawing at the t-shirt she’s wearing.

  Immediately I take her in my arms, “Shhh little kitten. It’s okay, you’re safe.”

  “No he’ll find me again. He’ll hurt me. He’ll kill you,” she rambles, clearly distressed.

  “Shhh.” I sit on the bed behind her, open my legs and pull her back against my chest, still cradling her. “No, he won’t hurt you or anyone else ever again.”

  “But he knows where I work. Please, please, don’t let him take me. I’m sorry, Matt, I’ll do anything you want. Please don’t let him take me again.”

  “I promise you, he’ll never hurt you again. You’re safe now, little kitten, you’re safe.”

  I stroke her neck, and can feel her pulse calming as she mewls softly and curls into me. Her arms clutch my body. She’s holding on to me the way a shipwrecked person would hold on to a buoy in turbulent seas.

  She needs me to be her strength, to encourage her and bring her back to the land of the living.

  “Matt,” she softly whispers, her voice tired and raw.

  “Yes, my little kitten.”

  “I love you.”

  “I know.” I kiss her temple and draw soothing patterns up and down on her back.

  Just when I think I feel her breathing even out she says, “I prayed, Matt. I prayed for God to kill me and spare me a life of torture.” I feel wetness hit my arm as she nuzzles closer to me. “I found you and I wanted nothing more than for you to love me as much as I love you.” I kiss her on the head. “Then he found me at the club, and I thought maybe the devil had sent him to take me. Then I prayed even harder to die because I knew I couldn’t survive that life again.”

  “I’d never let that happen. I’ll always find you wherever you are and bring you back to me. Even the devil himself couldn’t keep me away.”

  “Thank you,” she says quietly. “I know your secret, and it’s okay.”

  The hair on the back of my neck stands to attention. I don’t want her to know what I did to the beast who took her. “What’s that, my little kitten?”

  “You found me in hell. You came and snatched me back from the man who was trying to break me. I know, Matt. I know you love me and it’s okay that you can’t say it.” Her head relaxes back against my chest and finally her breath slows, becoming even. Now I know she’s asleep.

  I spend the rest of the night holding her. Ella’s body twitches frightfully for hours in my arms. Every few minutes she groans and cries in her sleep, and I simply kiss her and hold her tighter.

  I’ll spend the rest of my life holding her, kissing her, and protecting her.

  Twenty-two

  It’s been four weeks since Ella was taken. The bruises and cuts on her face are clearing up and now the bruises have reached the yellowish stage. Neither she nor I have been back to the club, although she’s been urging me to go back to work.

  Today’s day twenty-nine and she’s made us breakfast. “Go back to work, Matt. I’ll be fine here.”

  “Not going to happen,” I say as I cut off some of the French toast and eat it.

  “You’re getting on my nerves.” She’s only saying this because she knows I have responsibilities at the club. Our offer was accepted on the property next door, which means in the next few months we’ll officially own it and we can start renovations as soon as we have possession and our building plans are approved.

  “I don’t care.”

  “What will it take for you to go back? Nothing’s going to happen to me here.”

  “I know you’re perfectly safe here. But you’re not safe here.” I lean over and tap her head. “So if you want me to go back to work, you need to agree to see a professional who can help you deal with everything that’s happened in your life.” It’s a repeated plea, one she’s argued against since I first suggested it.

  “You help me,” she says timidly. She puts her fork down to look at me.

  “Yes, and if you’ll see a psychiatrist, between us both, we’ll help you soar.”

  “I don’t want to soar, Matt. I just want to stand beside you.”

  “You’ll never be beside me, little kitten, you’ll always be above. Where you belong.”

  She picks her fork up and keeps eating her breakfast in silence, not really giving me an answer about seeing a psychiatrist. I can tell her she’s going to go, but that won’t be useful. She needs to make this decision on her own. She needs to take this step toward recovering once and for all. I’ll support her, of course, and I’ll be there for her. But ultimately, she needs to decide to face her demons.

  “Fine,” she says under her breath.

  “Fine what?”

  “I’ll do it.”

  ‘Do what?” I’m pushing her. She needs to own the decision.

  “I’ll go to a psychiatrist.” She puts some of her French toast in her mouth and chews, though I can tell she’s not a hundred percent happy about going.

  “Good, I’ve got an idea.” Finally, after weeks of bickering about seeing a professional, she’s decided to take the leap of faith to put her past exactly where it belongs. She shouldn’t be looking over her shoulder at yesterday anymore; she needs to look forward to tomorrow.

  “What now?” she grumbles.

  “The club will be closed for about a month or so while it undergoes renovations, I thought you and I could go to Hawaii for a vacation.”

  “But there’s sun there.”

  I know exactly where she’s going with that remark. She’s terrified of exposing her scars. “So I hear. And apparently there’s an ocean, and a beach, and sand, and beautiful hotels. I think we should get the nicest hotel there is, with its own private beach, and we should spend at least two weeks just enjoying each other’s company. What do you think?”

  “If you like, but I won’t wear a bathing suit.”

  “Even on our own private beach?”

  She shrugs and looks down at her half-eaten plate of food, “Maybe.”

  “What if I prefer for you to be naked?” We’ve had sex since she’s been back, but I’ve left all the toys in the wardrobe for now.

  “I can do that,” she says, her shy little kitten ways coming through.

  “And what if I wanted to invite Brandon and Penny.” Again she shrugs, timidly. “And Nathan and Bianca?” Over the last month, Penny and Bianca have become an integral part of Ella’s life. They were here the day after we rescued her, providing her with soup, helping her bathe and looking after her. I left them to help her, because I knew I couldn’t be everything she needed. It’s unhealthy for a woman not to have another woman to talk to. And the three of them all share two things in common. First, they’re submissive, so they can freely talk and know the others will understand. And second, they’re adored and loved by their Dominants.

  “I suppose they already know everything and have seen all my scars.” She slumps in her chair and ducks her head down.

  “Sit up straight and stop looking down.” I see her visible gulp and she adjusts her posture.

  “Yeah, I could wear a bikini, or maybe even go nude around them. They’ve seen me at my worst and didn’t judge me, so I don’t think they’ll judge me at my best.”

  “Good, so it’s settled. Hawaii for at least two weeks when we close for renovations. But first, intensive sessions with a psychiatrist. I’ll set up an appointment. Do you prefer a male or female doctor? And I’ll make sure I find someone who understands our lifestyle.” I stand and take my plate to the sink.

  “It doesn’t matter, as long as they can help me.”

  Those are the best words I’ve heard her say since her kidnapping. “I’ll go make some inquiries.” I walk out of the kitchen toward my study. “El
la,” I say as I reach the edge of the kitchen.

  “Yeah.”

  “I love you.”

  Epilogue

  Eight months later

  It’s been nine months since all that shit happened. The house that mysteriously blew up was said to be caused by a faulty gas line. They investigated the fact Joshua Viviente, III, the owner, was found shackled to a cross. When they examined everything and found out he had a massive collection of snuff films, beat his girlfriends, and tortured prostitutes, they wrote it off as a scene gone wrong. The case went cold, and I don’t think they wanted to waste too much time on investigating it further.

  Ella asked me once what happened to him. I simply kissed her and told her I’m sure he got his own. I’m pretty sure she knows what happened, and she’s never mentioned it again. It would be a huge burden for her to hear me say I killed a man for her. I haven’t told her because I don’t want her to carry that around.

  Nathan said he received a tip the home Scott resided in was used to make bombs. Homeland Security became involved, and they stormed his house. They found five girls, and I say girls because they were all under the legal age, chained to the walls in his basement. He had them on IV lines keeping them alive only with saline and glucose. He had progressed from Ella and had become a full-blown pimp, allowing pedophiles to hurt those teenage runaways.

  Ella had a rocky start with her psychiatrist. She was uncomfortable with the first doctor, so I found her a second. And she didn’t work out either, but the third was perfect for Ella. She’s been seeing him twice a week, with a short break now while we’re in Hawaii.

  Miriam’s lawsuit disappeared when our lawyer stepped in and said we’d counter sue and showed her lawyer the evidence we had. Funny how lies disappear once the truth comes to light.

  Brandon and Penny joined us on our vacation from the start. Nathan and Bianca came a week later. The three girls are inseparable, and a force to be reckoned with when they’re together. Brandon, Nathan and I are happy they have that firm bond. They look after each other, and talk freely. And the three of us couldn’t be happier.