by Renee Dyer
“Anything you need from me, Tucker.” The quirk of his brow makes me want to knock him over on the floor and have my wicked way with him, but I try to remind myself of the night he’s had and let him set the pace. Fuck, I’m way too turned on to think.
“Anything?” he asks in his sexy rasp.
“Mm-hm.”
“Even if I said I just want to hold you all night?” I’m not sure if my eyes bugged out of my head or I whimpered or if I even reached out and slapped him up beside the head, but he lets out one of his great, big belly laughs while I stand there staring at him, praying he’s joking. I’m on fire for this man and he sure as hell better be putting me out. “Come here, sweetness,” he says after he comes down from his laughter.
He grabs me by my hand and leads me to the bed. So slowly, he strips my clothes off, staring at every inch of my body like it’s a piece of art. He lays me down and sets to work putting out all the little fires that he set. That man has a way of working my body with his fingers and tongue, and let’s not forget his rather impressive cock that I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of.
I lay here for a while, watching him sleep. Funny, how peaceful he looks now. Only a few hours earlier, he looked like a monster. Rage and pain contorted his gorgeous face into something I didn’t recognize. Now, the man that I know I’m falling in love with, that I may very well be in love with, is back and I can’t help but smile. I also can’t help but smile at the way he holds me when he sleeps. He sleeps facing me, with just one hand on me, resting on my hip, but that one hand makes me feel so cherished. That one hand makes me feel like he is claiming me as his, even in his sleep. There’s a safety that comes in laying here with his big hand on my body all night long. I know I’m his and with that thought in my head, I can fall asleep happy.
Chapter Seventeen
Tucker
I open my eyes to the light of the morning overtaking the room and Adriana lying, facing me. My hand on her hip brings a smile to my face. I remember putting it there before I fell asleep, but waking up with it still here fills me with a contentment that I didn’t think I was ever capable of feeling. Especially, after the havoc of yesterday. I don’t understand how she forgave me for what I did to her, but if she’s willing to then I’m going to spend every minute showing her that I’m better than the monster she saw.
I’m still trying to come to grips with knowing I put my hands on her. I know she said I never hurt her or applied pressure at any time, but I grabbed her. At any moment, I could have lost control. I wasn’t even aware I was touching her. I need to get help for this anger before I do something I can’t come back from. Before… no, there can’t be a before. I need to get help. She means that much to me.
She moves slightly in her sleep. It causes her breasts to rub against me and makes me painfully aware of the erection I woke up with. It brings the memory of how turned on she was last night rushing to the forefront of my mind. I knew she wanted me to take her hard like I threatened, but after being physical with her, I needed to keep myself in check. I couldn’t bring myself to say that to her, to have her tell me again that I didn’t hurt her. I heard her say it enough. It still didn’t wipe the shame from my mind or my heart. So, I went slow and pleasured her body in every way I could. Then, I let the emotional exhaustion pull me into the black hole that was beckoning even though I knew she was still awake and concerned. I needed to fall into the oblivion to escape my guilt.
But, here I am, facing it now. And, I feel like I’m going to throw up.
“So serious already, Tucker?”
I startle at the sound of her voice. So lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice her eyes opening. I’m not sure what she sees in my face, but her downturned lips tell me she doesn’t like it. More guilt eats at me. I don’t want to tell her what I’m thinking about. My heart can’t take hearing her tell me that it’s all fine. I don’t deserve that.
“Let’s see if I can make you feel a bit more playful, shall we?” A smile breaks out across her beautiful face as she sits up, her perfect breasts naked and on display before me. She crawls over me, forcing me onto my back and all thought of being upset leaves my mind. I want inside of her now. My dick is throbbing; my need for release overtakes everything else.
“You’re the best kind of wakeup call, sweetness.”
“You don’t say,” she jokes as she slides herself down over my length. Oh, fuck. I’ve never felt anything more amazing than being buried to the hilt inside of her. The whimper she lets out when I grab hold of her hips and pull her down so I can drive until I’m hitting her walls, makes me shiver in anticipation of how good it’s going to get. She rolls her hips in response and I growl out her name. She wanted hard last night, well now she’s going to get it.
Pulling her off me, I toss her onto the bed. The hunger in her eyes makes my dick want to explode. “Get on your knees, ass up.” Indecision flares in her eyes, but only for a second. Her need for me wins out. I try to remember that she has little experience with men, but I need to go hard now. I need to let the animal in me take over. Staring at her, on her knees, bent forward on her elbows with her ass up in the air waiting for me, is more than I can take. A primal growl rips from my throat and I rush her, my massive size overpowering her tiny frame. I slam into her until I’m buried balls deep.
A hiss falls from my lips as screams tear out of hers. She brings her ass back on me just as hard as I’m giving it to her and I’m afraid I won’t last at this pace. Wrapping one arm around her waist, I pull her tighter to me. Hot flesh slaps against hot flesh. The hair on my legs scratches against her smooth skin and all of the sensations combine to mind fuck me as I plow into her. Licking the fingers on my free hand, I bring them to her dripping center and pinch her sensitive bud.
“Ahh. Tucker!” I feel like a king as she throws herself back into me. She’s writhing under my touch, her moans getting louder. She starts bucking as I feel her walls tighten around me, milking me, coaxing me to go over the edge with her. “Don’t stop. Oh God… Tucker. Don’t. Ahh!”
I feel her rippling around me and it’s too much. I try to keep up the punishing pace, but her screams and her orgasm send me over the edge with her. Screaming out her name and hugging around her waist, I collapse, rolling to the side with her in my arms so I don’t crush her.
“Please try to make me more playful anytime, sweetness,” I say, trying to calm my breathing. Her laughter tinkles through the air, bringing peace in its wake. I love this woman and I wish I could tell her without the potential of her walking away from me.
“You turn me into such a wanton woman, Tucker Stavros,” she giggles out. “I don’t know what the hell happens when I get around you, but all rational thought goes out the window and I become a slut.”
“As long as you’re only my slut, I’m okay with that, sweetness,” I joke back. She rolls in my arms until she’s able to look at me, her breasts crushed to my chest. The laughter in her eyes makes me want to kiss her all over again.
“Only your slut, Tucker.”
Although she still has a playful grin on her face, the moment feels too deep for me. I feel like this could turn into one of “those” talks that could lead us down a path I know we aren’t ready for yet. “Do you mind if we get ready so I can go see Grams?”
She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me another one of her soul warming smiles. “Of course I don’t mind.” I lay a gentle kiss to her forehead before getting up from the bed and walking to the bathroom.
I stop at the door and look back at her over my shoulder. “Wanna join me?”
After a shower that was more about us reconnecting than us getting clean, we order room service. I sit and watch her apply the small amount of make-up that she wears. I love that she doesn’t feel the need to cover her natural beauty in fakeness. She puts on a small amount that she feels accentuates her natural grace. I don’t feel that she needs any, but she looks gorgeous and I’m happy to be seen with her no matter what.
; I decide I should call Grams first to make sure Mikos will be gone before we head over. I still can’t bring myself to call him dad. He lost that right so many years ago. Thinking of him being here puts a damper on my mood. I had managed to go an hour without wanting to lash out at myself for my behavior from the day before and from not wanting to track Mikos down and finish the fight that we started. I can feel myself getting worked up again and I try to breathe through it. How can seeing him once make me feel like my whole life is out of control? I’m not an eight-year-old little boy anymore. I shouldn’t feel this lost.
But, I do. Hearing his voice, seeing him, it made me feel like my world crashed down around my feet and nothing made sense after that. Nothing, except Adriana.
When I look at her, I can almost believe that everything will be alright. But, here I am, calling Grams’ house instead of just driving there, asking permission to see her. I’ve never had to ask permission to see her. Why am I doing this? Because, the son of a bitch who walked out on me decides to show up and play knight in shining armor. Suddenly, I’m supposed to think he’s a great guy. Well, fuck that. He’s been gone too long and the hurt goes too deep.
I listen to the phone ring and mentally count the tones. When it gets to four, I start to worry. If that bastard left—“Hello.” I freeze for a second when I hear Mikos’ voice come through the phone line. I expected Grams to answer and now I’m flustered and caught off guard. “Hello,” he says again.
Clearing my throat and trying to stop the shaking that has started, I say, “Put Grams on the phone.” There are no pleasantries or niceties. I don’t want to talk to him and I make that clear. I keep my tone even and unfriendly. A clear message needs to be sent and that is that he is not welcome here. He chose to walk away a long ass time ago, he needs to stay gone.
He sighs, which only pisses me off. “She’s sleeping. Last night exhausted her more than I realized. She had breakfast, took her meds, and went back to lie down. I’m not waking her up so you can upset her.”
“Upset her? UPSET HER? ME? I didn’t show up after years of being gone and just barge in like I deserved to be there. Who the fuck do you think you are?” I can’t stop myself from screaming at the prick. I can’t believe he has the audacity after all these years to accuse me of upsetting Grams. If he were in front of me, I’d knock his fucking teeth down his throat.
“I’m the man who’s not going to fight with you, Tucker. You obviously want to be here with your grandmother. So, come in an hour. I’ll be showered and I’ll leave so you don’t have to see me. I’ll make sure we’re only minutes apart so she isn’t left here alone for more than that, but she also doesn’t need to deal with any more stress. I will stay away while you’re here, but when you go back to your show, I WILL be taking care of my mother and there is not a damn thing you can do to stop me.”
He disconnects the call before I can say anything else and I’m left standing there, staring at my cell. “What the fuck? He hung up on me. That motherfucker hung up on me.” I look at Adriana who’s watching me, waiting to see what I’m going to do. I want to fucking punch something, but after yesterday, I can’t lose it in front of her again. “He said we can go there in one hour and he’ll be gone.”
She stands and walks over to me. I don’t know what she sees in me or what she’s going to do. “It’s alright to be angry with him, Tucker. You have every right to feel that way. I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk.” She takes my hands in hers and squeezes. I remember those lines. I said similar lines to her about Alex. Now, I know why she got so mad at me when I said them.
It sucks to have someone tell you that it’s okay to hurt.
Chapter Eighteen
Mikos
“Was that Tucker?”
I whip around to see my mom walking into the kitchen. Man, she looks tired still. I never thought I’d see the day where she didn’t look spunky and like she can kick my ass. Guilt rides me over the fight with Tucker from the night before. I should have known it would be crushing for him to see me and should have been more understanding. I should have known better than to fight with him when she’s so sick. Damn pride of mine.
“Yeah, Ma. He’ll be here in an hour. I’m going to shower. You need anything before I head in?” I want her settled before I let her out of my sight.
She chuckles, walks up, and pats me on my cheek, a smile on her face. “This old lady still has a lot of life in her. Don’t count me out just yet. Go take your shower. I’ll be okay.” I watch as she slowly walks to the couch. I don’t move from the spot I’m in until she’s lying down. Turning my back to her, I head for the bathroom. A few steps away, I hear, “Don’t count Tucker out either. He’ll come around.”
I can’t turn around to face her. Can’t let her see the hurt I feel. I wish I could believe the words she spoke, but I know they aren’t true. Tucker won’t come around. He won’t forgive me. The damage I caused is irreversible. I saw it in his eyes, the pain of my abandonment was so deep, and the challenge in his stance. I saw it all. I wanted to take it away, but I couldn’t.
And, that’s all on me.
Chapter Nineteen
Tucker
It was a tense forty-five minutes, waiting to go see Grams. Adriana tried relaxing me, but even her delectable body couldn’t take away the thoughts of possibly seeing Mikos again. The monster I had envisioned in my mind all these years was here now and trying to come to terms with that was making me crazy. Taking Adriana again eased my mind while I was buried in her warm depths, but when I came down from the high, the nightmare was back to smack me in the face.
What do I do if he’s still there?
I don’t want Grams alone, but the thought of seeing him again makes my blood run cold and my body break out in a sweat. I’ve been pacing the room for several minutes while Adriana watches me in silence. I know she’s worried I’m going to lose it again. I can tell by the stiff way she’s sitting and how she’s wringing her hands. She keeps crossing and uncrossing her feet. Her little ticks give her away, even though she smiles whenever I look her way.
“Check out and come stay with Grams and me.” What did I just say?
“Huh?” Exactly, Tuck. Huh? Why did I ask her that? I just got her back. She’s watched me flip out and I drop that on her. Quick, think of something you idiot.
“Well, you see...” Oh shit, I have no idea what to say to her. Fuck, she’s looking at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. “I’m not going to want to leave Grams’ side.”
“Oh, Tucker, I would never ask you to. You don’t have to entertain me.” She cuts in and she’s so cute when she gets flustered.
“Sweetness, I never thought I needed to entertain you.” Just like that, she made me think of where to go with this. “I won’t want to leave Grams, but being with Grams means I can’t protect you now that the paparazzi are here. I would feel a lot better knowing you’re safe, with me. I can’t take care of Grams and worry they’re harassing you. Please.”
I watch as she contemplates what I said. I really should have been dealing with the paparazzi already. I can’t believe I haven’t called my agent yet to have him look into potential stories. Dammit. All the stress of the last couple days has made me lose focus. I need to make that call and stop any potential bombs from dropping.
Adriana looks at me and I feel my heart speed up when she smiles at me. I know she’s going to say yes before she says it. This woman has no idea how amazing I find her or how much I care for her. Someday, I will tell her. When I know my words won’t be too much for her to hear, I will tell her. Helping her to pack her stuff, I can’t keep the smile off my face. I loved having her in my home the other night. It felt right to have her there and I can’t wait to have her there again.
My hands feel like they’re strangling the steering wheel as we pull up to Grams’ house. My nerves feel raw and exposed. I didn’t say two words to Adriana the whole drive here and I feel like shit about it, but anything I would have said would have given away
the hell I’m going through in my head. She’s seen enough of my hell already and I want to enjoy the little time I have left with her before she goes back to New Hampshire.
The thought of being separated from her again causes a pain so swift and deep I fear I’ll crash the car. I wish there was away to have her with me every day, but her life is in New Hampshire. Everyone she knows and loves is there. We’ve barely started our relationship and I can’t be selfish. As much as I want to, I know that will only end what we have growing here.
Relief flows over me and I allow my shoulders to relax when I pull into Grams’ driveway and the truck that was there last night, is gone. I’m hoping he only left moments ago so she hasn’t been alone for long. I hate myself and my fear and loathing of my father that left Grams vulnerable for even seconds. I should be strong enough to be in the same space as him for a few minutes, but I’m not. Seeing him sends me into a tailspin I can’t come out of. I want to believe that it’s all the stress at one time, but what if I’m permanently fucked up from him walking out on me all those years ago? What if the monster I have made him out to be will always haunt me?
What if I can’t get past this?
Grams is sitting reading a book and Adriana runs right over to see what she’s reading. I brace myself against the wall and watch them a minute, a happiness gripping me that is so unexpected and overwhelming that I’m thankful for the wall holding me up. I can see the bond they share already and I know that Adriana is my perfect fit. She may not to be perfect to everyone who looks at her, but she’s perfect to me. Watching her get giddy while talking to my Grams about books, seeing her inner geek shine through, I want to kiss her stupid.
