Leaf, Erin M. - The First Time is the Sweetest (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by The First Time is the Sweetest

  “This is insane,” he whispered, licking his lips as she stared at him, unable to speak. “I can’t stop myself, I want you so badly, but I don’t want to rush or push you into anything you’re not ready for,” he continued, softly stroking his thumbs around her areolas as he spoke. He looked down to where her nipples peeked out between his fingers and squeezed them, sending a shudder of pleasure through her body. She could smell the faintest bit of mint. She rubbed her leg against his as she closed her eyes to savor the sensation of his hands on her body.

  “Yeah, I want you, too,” Sabrina whispered finally, trying to participate in the conversation, barely able to form a coherent thought.

  “I’ve only ever felt like this once before,” Jimmy murmured, stroking her skin absently.

  Sabrina’s eyes flew open, and Jimmy stilled his hands. To her astonishment, he blushed and looked away. “Jimmy?” she asked, wondering if he was okay. She struggled to think through the haze of heat that fogged her senses.

  “I’m all right,” he responded, turning back and dragging his hands over her ribs to her waist. “You’re so tiny here,” he said. “I love your waist, your smooth skin.”

  Sabrina blushed. “When did you feel this way before? Isn’t this what sex feels like all the time?” she asked, tentatively. She didn’t want him to stop touching her, but she wanted to know more about him.

  He stilled his hands again but didn’t lift them away. Sabrina watched several emotions chase across his face, hoping she hadn’t upset him. “This is way more than the usual, for me, at least,” he finally replied, looking into her eyes. “I like sex, but I don’t sleep around that much.” Jimmy smiled. “I’ve had two relationships, and they were fun but they weren’t this intense this fast. I had no idea it would feel like this when I touched you, Sabrina, but after I kissed you last night, I—” He stopped and shook his head.

  “What about the last time you felt this way? You said you’d felt like ‘this’ once before,” Sabrina asked, curiosity warring with desire. Jimmy looked out the window. The morning sun streamed into her room, sending the dust motes dancing in what seemed like celebration. Her body still buzzed delightfully from his touch.

  “His name was Gabriel, and I only knew him for about two weeks,” Jimmy finally said, pulling his hands back and scooping her shirt off the floor. Sabrina watched him bite his lip. When he handed Sabrina her shirt, she sat up, somewhat disappointed as she pulled the thin fabric over her head. He helped her smooth the fabric down over her breasts, and her eyes met his. He smiled, and Sabrina smiled back, feeling reassured. She knew in her heart that getting to know Jimmy was more important than sex.

  “I met him my final year in college. He was a few years older than me and just finishing up at Quantico. He came in with an older agent to give a short lecture and demonstration about the FBI in a history class I was taking. The first moment I saw him, it was like I was mesmerized. At first I thought it was just because he was gorgeous, all dark hair and these incredible blue eyes, but after class, he and his colleague asked if any of us wanted to go to dinner and learn more about the FBI. Of course, I went.”

  “Then what happened?” Sabrina asked, completely absorbed. She always thought he was happy as a loner, traveling on assignment too often to really settle down. She supposed she shouldn’t have assumed he didn’t want to meet someone. It was strange listening to him talk about it, as though she were truly grown up now. She felt a spark of pleasure at the thought that Jimmy felt comfortable enough with her to talk about his life.

  “Well, one thing led to another, and we met for dinner that entire week. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t really think he was interested in me romantically. I just wanted to get to know him better—he was funny and articulate and interesting. I fell for him but didn’t have the guts to say anything. Then, after a week and a half of meeting for dinner and sometimes playing basketball or catching a game on TV, he told me that he’d received notice of his first assignment and that he had to go undercover for at least a year. I was devastated and embarrassed about it. I mean, we’d only met a little while ago. I shouldn’t have felt so much so soon, and I knew he had no idea.” Jimmy sighed, face serious. She touched his arm, hoping to comfort him.

  “So, the night before he had to go, after dinner, we walked back to my apartment. Just before he left me at the door, I grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him.”

  “Oh!” Sabrina tried to imagine how nerve-racking that must have been. “What happened then?”

  “Thank God he didn’t punch me!” Jimmy replied, chuckling. “I figured it was my last chance, and I had nothing to lose, well, except a tooth or two. You see, he’d never indicated to me that he was gay or bi. It’s really tricky to take that leap.” Jimmy laughed under his breath, shaking his head. “I really thought he was going to freak!” She watched Jimmy rub his hand over the back of his neck.

  “Instead of hitting me, he kissed me back. It felt like we went up in flames together right there outside his apartment door.” Jimmy paused and looked at her, then cupped her cheek in his hand. “I feel the same way when I kiss you, Sabrina.”

  Sabrina blushed. “Love at first sight?” she quipped, then looked down, uncomfortable with this heavy emotional stuff. Jimmy just smiled and continued his story.

  “After the kiss, we hugged. Then he handed me a card with a single number on it, saying, ‘If you ever need me, just call this number and I’ll drop everything and come.’”

  “Whoa,” Sabrina breathed.

  “Yeah,” Jimmy replied. “When agents go into an assignment as dangerous as Gabriel’s, they don’t break cover. It was an insane breach of protocol for him to give me that number, especially for someone he’d just met. I mean, we knew about each other’s families and what we liked for dinner, but still, we’d really only just met. That’s not a lot of time to form a relationship or even fall in love. I didn’t really believe in love at first sight. Maybe ‘like’ at first sight, but love?” Jimmy shook his head.

  “What happened?” she asked, her heart aching for him.

  “I never saw him again,” Jimmy said, sighing and running his hand through his hair. “I wanted to call so many times, but I knew he was in deep for at least a year. I couldn’t endanger him.”

  “What about afterwards? You said this was several years ago, right?”

  “Yes, but he had my number. I thought I remembered wrong. We only knew each other for two weeks. Even now I’m not sure, you know? And what if he’s still undercover? Sometimes those assignments last years.” Jimmy shook his head grimly, and Sabrina touched his arm in sympathy.

  “Well, come on, get up, let’s go get some breakfast,” he said, flashing her a quick grin. Sabrina smiled as he moved off the bed and grabbed her glasses to watch him walk out of her room, imagining him kissing the mysterious Gabriel. She couldn’t control her attraction for Jimmy; what would she do if Jimmy’s old boyfriend showed up? She laughed. Like that would ever happen. But what if? What if there was still something there between the two men? Instead of jealousy, she felt arousal. There was no way to deny how exciting she found the idea of Jimmy kissing another man. She shook her head, trying to flick some sense into the lust-weakened center of her brain. Maybe a cold shower will help, she thought, getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom for a quick session of body-numbing therapy.

  * * * *

  Half an hour later, Sabrina and Jimmy headed down the tree-lined street in front of her house. She lived in a small town in northern New Jersey, only a few blocks from a quaint downtown that housed a church, a grocery store, a bakery, and their destination: a small bistro, serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She loved their croissant egg sandwiches. As they walked, her loose skirt swung around her knees and she stole glances at Jimmy. He wore another pair of cutoff jean shorts and a tight blue T-shirt that made his tanned skin look even more stunning than usual. He knew she was looking because he kept glancing at her fondly. She couldn’t help but smile back. The seco
nd time he caught her staring, he grabbed her hand, and they walked the rest of the way like that in the warm summer sunshine. It was definitely a good day.

  “I like the outfit, Sabrina,” Jimmy said after a while, breaking the comfortable silence. He fingered her white halter top as she fluffed her yellow skirt, winking at him.

  “Likewise,” she said, swinging their clasped hands a little. She was happy. Thinking about what they’d done together this morning made her flush, so she spent the majority of the walk alternately giggling like a fool and blushing.

  “I’m really looking forward to this summer,” he said, squeezing her hand.

  “Me, too.” Sabrina smiled at him. In another minute they were at the bistro, seated at one of the pretty wrought-iron tables scattered around outside the front of the restaurant. They gave the waitress their order, and Sabrina basked in the sun, Jimmy on her right. He bumped their legs together companionably. When she didn’t protest, Jimmy put his hand on her thigh, and she felt a low simmer of heat sift through her. He smiled at her, and she grinned cheekily at him. She hoped the rest of the summer was as pleasant as this day. She could certainly get used to having a handsome man paying such excellent attention to her! They waited for their food to arrive; then Jimmy quirked his lips in a lopsided smile.

  “I was thinking, Sabrina.”

  “Uh oh.” She laughed, smirking at him.

  “Hey!” Jimmy smacked her thigh with his hand. “I’m serious here.”

  She shook her head at him, remembering the way they joked when they were younger. The back and forth banter and teasing had always been part of why she liked him so much, and she was happy to see that they were still able to have fun together, despite the sudden sexual heat that was now part of their interaction.

  “I don’t want to answer your questions anymore,” Jimmy continued. She felt her heart skip and looked at him quizzically, taking a quick sip of her iced tea to disguise her sudden disappointment. He didn’t want to back out, did he? She tried to look nonchalant as she waited for him to explain.

  “I don’t want to only answer questions,” he clarified, and her eyes flew up to his. “I would rather show you.”

  Oh, she thought, then—Oh! She relaxed, hoping he couldn’t tell how worried she’d been for a moment. “Show me what?” Sabrina joked, hoping to cover up her momentary surge of doubt.

  Jimmy mock-frowned at her. “I think you know what I mean, Sabrina. But to be perfectly clear, I would like to date you this summer, and make love with you, not just answer questions.”

  She stared at him. “Really?” she asked like a ninny, then wanted to smack herself in the head. He wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t mean it!

  Jimmy nodded, face serious but not grim. “I care about you a lot. I realized for certain after this morning. I want you, but it’s more than physical attraction. I really like you. You’re not just a hookup. And I don’t think I could stand to talk to you about sex without wanting to make love to you. I want you to be happy, not just feel one night’s pleasure.”

  Sabrina was speechless.

  Jimmy took a deep breath. “Would you be my girlfriend?” he asked formally.

  “Oh, wow,” Sabrina breathed, beaming. She couldn’t come up with anything more coherent than that in the face of such an incredibly romantic proposal. For years she’d been the nerdiest girl in school, and despite her newfound confidence (thanks to contact lenses and newly tamed hair), she often still felt ugly and uncertain. Yet here was this gorgeous man asking her if she would be his girlfriend! She nodded slowly, still trying to understand what had just happened.

  “Is that a yes?” he asked her gently. The hand on her thigh tightened nervously. Could he be worried about her answer? Jimmy waited, shifting in his chair as Sabrina stared at him.

  She gathered her courage. “Yes,” she said, reasoning that the simpler the response, the better at this point.

  “Wonderful,” he said, smiling. Then Sabrina felt her heart knock against her ribs as the smile dropped from his face and his eyes darkened. She’d thought the day couldn’t get any better, but then he leaned forward and kissed her, sliding his tongue gently into her mouth for just a moment before he moved his lips to her cheek, where he stopped, breathing her in. She nearly cried. She’d been fooling herself. This was more than a crush. She brought her hands to his face and pulled him back to her mouth. She kissed him lightly before leaning back and running her thumb over his lips. He nipped her and sat back in his chair.

  “I was worried that you were going to say no,” he said. She looked at him in disbelief. “I thought you might think I was too old for you—”

  “Too old? Are you nuts? You’re only five years older than me, Jimmy.” She rolled her eyes at him, and he laughed, looking relieved. “I think this is going to be a fantastic summer,” she said and he nodded. She felt overwhelmed. Jimmy looked at her as if he were about to say something when a burst of raucous laughter echoed across the tables.

  “So much for our nice, quiet breakfast,” Sabrina said, trying to see who was making all the noise. She looked around and to her disgust, Darrin and a few of his friends sat a few tables away, talking and laughing loudly. She wrinkled her forehead as she heard what they were saying.

  “Then she let me kiss her, and let me tell you, her tits are gorgeous! Who knew that nerd-girl was so hot?” Darrin laughed loudly as his friends guffawed. “Maybe you can show her a good time, too,” he continued. “I bet she’d let us—she seemed eager enough last night! Why don’t you guys come along on our next date?”

  Sabrina sat in silent dismay, listening to his boasting. It never occurred to her that Darrin could be so cruel after their date. Suddenly she was glad she had slapped him and told him in no uncertain terms that she would never go out with him again. Not to mention, she couldn’t believe guys actually talked like that! They sound ridiculous, she thought, pissed.

  “Please tell me they’re not talking about you,” Jimmy said, interrupting her thoughts. He frowned, and she could tell he was getting angry as Darrin and his friends continued to joke around.

  “Just ignore it,” Sabrina said, pushing the hurt down. “They’re not worth it. I told him he would never get his hands on me again, so he’s just trying to save face.”

  “I know.” Jimmy sighed. “I just hate when guys act like complete morons. Gives us all a bad rep, you know?”

  Sabrina nodded. “We should just go, I’m done here,” she said, pushing her plate away.

  Jimmy agreed, then tipped his cup to finish his coffee. They split the bill, and she grabbed her iced tea to finish on the way home. She wanted to get out of there and forget all about Darrin, but just as they left the table, Darrin walked over, smirking.

  “Who’s this?” he said, nodding at Jimmy and reaching out to touch her hair. Sabrina stepped back, glaring at him as Jimmy tensed.

  “None of your business,” she said.

  “Oh, I think it is my business,” Darrin replied, staring at Jimmy rudely. Darrin and Jimmy were the same height, but where Darrin was heavily muscled almost to the point of grossness, Jimmy was lean. He was very strong, but graceful, as though he were a dancer rather than a body-builder. Darrin snorted as Jimmy rolled his eyes. Sabrina couldn’t help snickering. It was a bit absurd for Darrin to be so obnoxious after one date. Jimmy shook his head and took Sabrina’s arm, but Darrin stepped in front of them.

  Sabrina frowned. “Go away, Darrin. I’m not going out on another date with you, so don’t even think about asking.” She began to move around him. Jimmy placed his hand on her back, ready to follow her lead.

  “Oh please, you can’t seriously be thinking of breaking up with me?” Darrin asked.

  She stopped and stared at him in disbelief. “We’re not dating! We only went out once, seriously. And it won’t be happening again, especially not after last night’s demonstration.” By now, Darrin’s friends had joined them, standing behind Darrin, chuckling and leering.

  “You don’t
think this little guy can take us all on, do you?” Darrin jeered.

  Jimmy, little? Was Darrin a complete idiot? Jimmy was six feet tall! “What are you talking about?” Sabrina retorted. “I’m not going out with you. I’m not going on another date with you. There’s no reason to drag Jimmy into this, and frankly, you wouldn’t like the outcome if you did.” Sabrina was growing angry as well as frustrated. She had no idea Darrin could be such a moron. Sure, he had been a jerk on the date, but it never occurred to her that he would simply not accept reality. Maybe it’s the presence of his friends making him belligerent, she reasoned.

  “Come on, Sabrina,” Jimmy murmured. “Let’s go home.”

  She nodded, but as they moved past the boys, Darrin reached out and grabbed Jimmy’s arm.

  “You think you’re going to just leave?”

  Jimmy stared at the hand pressing into his skin, then looked into Darrin’s face.

  “I’m not your girl, Darrin!” Sabrina exclaimed, exasperated.

  “Sabrina’s made it clear to you that she’s not interested,” Jimmy growled. He flexed his arm, getting ready to pull away if necessary.

  “Or what?” Darrin grinned malevolently.

  Sabrina rolled her eyes, then caught Jimmy smiling at her obvious derision. She saw Darrin tighten his fingers, pressing into Jimmy’s skin hard enough to bruise. She could tell the exact moment Jimmy made the decision to move.

  “Or this,” he answered quietly. Suddenly, his arm was free and Darrin stood there looking shocked, then angry. Darrin reached for Jimmy again but missed as Jimmy moved Sabrina behind him where she would be safe. He blocked the arm heading for his face, hoping to avoid further violence, then realized Darrin’s friends had surrounded them.