Nice and Easy: Boys of the Big Easy book three

by Erin Nicholas

  Shay might be getting a little stronger or a little better at remembering, but none of it was going to improve drastically. Some of the things going on with her were permanent. The weakness in her left side was because of damage to her brain. Damage that couldn’t be reversed.

  And there was nothing in that moment that could have made him tell Lexi that. He was the guy who fixed things for Lexi. And Shay. It was who he was. It was why he was important to them both. Until he had some idea about how to fix this and could reassure Lexi that he had a plan, he didn’t want to say anything.

  “Are you concerned about her?” he asked.

  Lexi glanced at Shay, her face relaxing into a soft smile, her eyes full of love. Caleb sucked in a quick breath before she looked back at him and noticed all of the emotions that had to be obvious on his face. “No, I’m not concerned about her,” Lexi said. “She’s amazing.”

  “But that left side…” He trailed off, wanting to see what Lexi’s reaction would be.

  She laughed softly. “She’s a little klutzy. So what?”

  “What about her memory?”

  Lexi glanced at Shay again and then lowered her voice. “Listen, maybe she’s not going to be an Olympic athlete or Valedictorian, but that doesn’t matter. She’s sweet and she loves cats and she loves to color and she does the things she can do with excitement and curiosity. Who knows? Maybe she’ll own a cat rescue, or a cat café.” Lexi grinned. “That would be amazing. I’d go every day.”

  Caleb couldn’t help his smile even as his heart clenched.

  He was still dealing—okay, honestly, he hadn’t even started dealing—with the idea that Shay wasn’t going to do a lot of things he’d assumed she’d do. He’d thought she might do dance like Logan’s little girl, Chloe. Or that she might play soccer or be a swimmer. He realized that somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d assumed that he’d be watching her play sports and win ribbons for science projects and participate in music programs.

  He had no way of knowing if any of those things were possible or would still happen. He knew next to nothing about her brain injury, including the specific area of the brain affected, or even all of her symptoms. Shay had just always been Shay.

  Over the next few weeks, though, with the therapist assessments and sessions he was going to learn all about it. He was bracing himself for all of that, even knowing that some of it might not be obvious until she was older. But he was mourning the loss of the things he’d assumed and taken for granted. And that made him feel like an asshole.

  He also couldn’t share that with Lexi. He couldn’t be the asshole who didn’t know what to do with a little girl who had challenges. Until he did know what he could do for Shay, he was keeping this to himself.

  “You’ve never said anything about her being klutzy or her memory,” he commented.

  Lexi shrugged. “I don’t say things about her getting a scrape on her knee or throwing a fit about her mac and cheese touching her hamburger or her asking if ladybugs go to heaven, either. It’s just a part of her life that happens when I’m here and I…take care of it.”

  And here was Lexi, accepting Shay for who she was right now in this moment and taking care of things that came up, taking it all in stride, maintaining that as long as Shay was happy, it was all good.

  He drew a deep breath. That made him feel better.

  “But you think she’s a little…slow?” Caleb asked.

  Lexi smiled over at Shay, then back at him. “I don’t know. Maybe. I mean, we’re not all going to be Nobel Prize winners or NASA scientists. But I also think maybe we haven’t read to her enough or gone over her colors with her enough or encouraged her to play and exercise enough.”

  Caleb felt his chest tighten at that. “You think I’m not doing enough?” He knew he wasn’t. Now. But he hadn’t realized Lexi thought so. And Lex was supposed to think he was amazing.

  “I said we,” Lexi said with a little frown. “We have crazy schedules and we’re in and out and so we don’t have, or take, the time to really sit and concentrate on things sometimes. But that’s all stuff we can change.”

  Okay, that was fair. “We can do better.” He could do better. Lexi was doing more already.

  She nodded. “Always.” She gave him a smile. “And hey, maybe we’re doing fine, too. Maybe it’s just Shay. I mean, I’m horrible at spelling. I don’t know why. No matter how much I worked on it, I just was never good. So I compensate. My phone has autocorrect and my computer has spell check and I look stuff up.”

  He didn’t want Shay to have to compensate. He wanted everything to be perfect and wonderful and easy for her. He took a deep breath. His whole mission in life for the past two years had been to make Shay, and Lexi, and Jack safe and happy and healthy. To make their lives as good as they could possibly be. To make things easier for them. But no matter what he did or tried, no matter how much he cared, no matter how much he wanted it, he couldn’t fix this for Shay.

  And he couldn’t tell Lexi that.

  At least, not yet.

  Lexi loved Shay. She loved that she was helping. And she was probably in denial that it could all be something more.

  She saw Shay’s limits just as a part of who Shay was and nothing more. Nothing to worry about. Lexi didn’t have anything to mourn because she just loved Shay as she was, without building up crazy dreams and plans.

  Of course, Cassie hadn’t given Shay to Lexi with the idea that she would do everything in her power to make Shay’s life good. Not that Cassie would blame Caleb for any of this, but he’d let the whole hero-thing go to his head. He’d built up this idea that whatever successes Shay had would reflect on him, and people would be even more impressed with the way he’d stepped into Shay’s life.

  Maybe all parents felt that way. That they wanted their kids to be huge successes because it would make their kid happy, but also, at least a little, because it would mean they had done a good job.

  Or maybe he was just an asshole.

  Shay’s injury was not a failure. Not for her. Not for him. And it could have been so much worse. He should be thankful for where she was at. And he would be. Eventually. He’d get there. He loved her and she was happy and she would find her talents and the things she loved. He’d do everything he could to help her do that.

  But, right now, only a day after finding out that things weren’t going to go exactly according to plan, he was still dealing.

  That was okay.

  Probably.

  But no, he was not going to be able to tell Lexi about this right now. It would bother her, too. She’d worry. She’d have questions that he couldn’t answer. Yet. He’d figure all of this out and then fill Lexi in. When he could honestly reassure her that everything would be okay. Because that’s what he did.

  “What are you doing with that?” Caleb asked, gesturing to the newspaper in front of her. And changing the subject.

  “Uh…apartment hunting.”

  He looked up with a frown. “Why?”

  She lifted a brow. “Because I need a place to live.”

  “You have a place to live.”

  “We can’t stay with you permanently.”

  Yes, they could. That was his first reaction. And his second. And even after he thought about it for nearly a minute, it was still his reaction. “I think you should,” he finally said.

  “Um, no.”

  “You just said that our schedules are crazy and we’re in and out and that might be negatively affecting the kids.” Okay, that wasn’t entirely fair. She hadn’t said things were bad for the kids and she’d said they could make the necessary changes. Which they definitely could. Obviously, all of Shay’s issues were not because of their schedules. But then again, it wasn’t like their strange routine was a good thing, right? And what about Jack? The kid needed a place he could be stable and secure. Permanent.

  “The kids are fine,” Lexi told him. “Don’t overreact.”

  Yeah, well, that was kind of his MO with these three pe
ople. Especially in the past twenty-four hours. “I’m not,” he said. “I just can’t come up with any reason that we shouldn’t live together.”

  Both of her eyebrows flew up. “Really? None? Because I can think of a couple.”

  “Yes, you’re messy. But I can live with that.” The girl left glasses and cups and pens and notes and hoodies all over the house. But honestly, it made him smile to clean up after her. He liked how comfortable she was in his house.

  “Yeah, okay, that’s a good point and not even one of the reasons I was thinking of,” Lexi said.

  “Okay, what’re your reasons?”

  She pressed her lips together, regarding him thoughtfully. “The naked thing,” she finally said after several seconds passed.

  “The naked thing?”

  “The reality that we will both be naked in this house at times and if we’re both always here together, the chances of seeing the other without clothes goes up exponentially.”

  He wondered if she’d been talking to Logan. “I’m not really seeing that as a reason to not live together.” He gave her a slow grin.

  She just tipped her head to the side and gave him a Really? look. “That could make things awkward, don’t you think?”

  It could make the fit of his pants a little tighter. But it could also make his day start off on a fucking amazing foot. “How so?”

  “Naked time doesn’t really go with this big-brother-little-sister thing we have going on, does it?”

  Big-brother-little-sister thing? He leaned in. “Lexi, I can honestly tell you that I’ve never thought of you as a sister.”

  She sighed. “Then what? A stray cat? A charity case?”

  “No,” he said firmly. “A…friend.”

  “Okay. So our friendship doesn’t really go with naked time.”

  Yeah, he knew where this was coming from. And there were a few things they needed to get straight. Mainly, that he’d never given in to all his feelings for her because it wasn’t right for him to initiate it. But not because he didn’t have them. She had started things last night. She’d wanted him. But she’d also been drunk and grateful.

  However, if she wanted to do that again, when she was sober and things were good and safe and stable in her life, then she needed to be aware that he was definitely not going to be so noble he’d resist for the sake of their friendship.

  In fact, she needed to be very clear on that.

  5

  “I pulled back last night because you were drunk. And exhausted. And you were feeling especially indebted to me. And I was keyed up about finding you living over the bar—with Josh on the sofa—and realizing you hadn’t told me what was going on. There were too many things going on for us to go there last night.”

  Lexi blinked at Caleb. So they were going to straight-up talk about the make-out session? Good. Yes, she’d pushed him here, but he’d started it with the whole thing about living together. She was just going to move in as if he was just some friend who had an extra bedroom? He was just going to make that offer as if he didn’t know she had feelings for him? Like he hadn’t seen her nipple last night? Really?

  “And now? Now that I’m sober and you’ve calmed down?” she asked. She wanted to have this conversation. Mostly. After last night and then the innuendos flying around this morning, not to mention this very domestic scene they were experiencing, they needed to get on the same page with everything.

  Because she wanted this. Badly.

  She wanted to live with him. She wanted relaxed mornings playing with the kids together. She’d seen the spark of admiration in his gaze when she’d told him about making up games that would help Shay. She’d seen the soft look of affection when he’d been watching her and Jack. She’d also seen the heat in his eyes when she’d first come into the kitchen in his shirt. She wanted all of that, too. Those emotions from him. The sense of really doing this together. Not just handing the kids back and forth and leaving sticky notes that they were out of cereal, or that her car was making that weird clunking noise again. She wanted to actually do it all together. And she wanted him to see her. To let her be his partner in this. To not just be the guy who took care of her.

  She did not want this if he thought he was just doing her a favor. Or if he thought this was just a more convenient setup for them both with the work and home balance bit they juggled.

  She wanted a home. She wanted Jack to have a home. And she wanted it to be with Shay and Caleb. They were her family, no matter how puzzle-pieced together their situation was.

  And she wanted Caleb to feel the same way.

  She held her breath as Caleb glanced at the kids. They’d already moved on from soccer and coloring to some game of their own that involved the soccer balls, three teddy bears, and turning the picnic table on its side.

  Caleb looked back at her. “I want you here. I want you and Jack here where I know you’re safe and comfortable.”

  She nodded. Okay, so this was a favor. “I appreciate that.”

  “And last night I realized how much I hate not knowing what’s going on with you.”

  Lexi sighed. “I promise to give you my new address. You can even help me look for apartments.”

  “That’s not enough. I want you here. This feels…good, right? Being here together. All four of us.”

  She swallowed and nodded. He knew what the sense of family meant to her. She’d shared that much in their support group meetings. She’d referred to the group as her pseudo-family and told them how much that meant to her and why.

  “I like taking care of you,” he said, his voice low and gruff. “And I can do that best if you’re here with me. All the time.”

  Her mind wandered just a little in the direction of ways he could take care of her—that had nothing to do with her car or where she lived—before she reined it back in. She couldn’t fight her body’s response to his natural dominance, but she could keep her head on straight.

  Honestly, until Caleb had come along, she’d had no idea that she was turned on by that alpha-I’m-in-charge-power thing that Caleb exuded. But she was also mostly convinced that it was only true with Caleb. She’d never been attracted to other men who had power—bosses or teachers or cops or anyone else who could somehow tell her what to do. Seth, the only guy she’d ever had sex with, had been a guy’s guy. He liked sports and drank beer and talked dirty sometimes. But even when they’d had sex, he’d never made her feel the things Caleb could make her feel with a slow, sexy grin. It was just Caleb who made her think things like, Yes, please, sir. And again, it went back to the fact that she trusted him more than any other man who had ever been in her life. Actually, she trusted him more than any other person in her life.

  So letting him have some hot-bossy-protective power was just fine. In fact, her body thought it was more than fine.

  Still, she lifted both brows. “You do know how that sounds, right?”

  “Sweet and protective?” he asked dryly.

  “Controlling and crazy.”

  “I’m not going to tie you up or anything,” he said. Then after a beat added, “at least not for that reason.”

  Lexi felt a strange, hot clench in her gut—okay, lower than her gut. Had she imagined that response? Because that was exactly the kind of thing she wanted him to say. And do. And she shifted slightly as tingles went through her.

  A heavy silence stretched with the words hanging in the air. Caleb’s gaze dropped to her mouth again. Not lower. Not to her breasts. But her nipples hardened anyway.

  She cleared her throat when it was obvious that he wasn’t going to elaborate. Or try to clarify his statement. Or reassure her. He just let the words linger in her mind.

  “So I wouldn’t be a prisoner,” she finally said. “Good to know.”

  “Right,” he agreed. His eyes were back on hers. “Unless you try to go back to that apartment. Or something as bad or worse.”

  She wet her lips and decided to look at the newspaper in front of her instead of at the hot, alp
ha man who was threatening to tie her up. Her nipples sent out yes-please-we-want-that signals to the rest of her body, but she tried to ignore them.

  “Fine,” she finally said, noting the pleased, almost smug, glint in his eyes with her answer.

  Well, she wasn’t stupid. Living here really was a good solution to her current situation. But it could also be temporary. Until she really got on her feet and had some money saved up. And until she saw how things went with her and Caleb. If there was even a chance that this could all be real, that they could be actual partners, that they could be compatible beyond liking the same pasta sauce and laundry detergent, then she needed to try it. It was a risk, for sure. But it was one she was willing to take.

  “But I’m paying you rent,” she said.

  “No.”

  “Caleb.”

  He lifted a brow. “Fuck no, even.”

  “Caleb—”

  “I don’t even pay to live here,” he said. “Cassie’s life insurance money paid for the house so I don’t owe anything. It would be ridiculous for you to pay me to stay here.”

  “But electricity—”

  He gave a short bark of laughter. “I think I can handle the price of you blow drying your hair, Lex.”

  She sighed. “Then I’m going to do more around here. I’ll do all the laundry and—”

  “No.”

  “Stop it,” she said firmly. “I’m going to contribute. I want to feel like this is even.” She needed this to be even. Not just for her own pride’s sake, but so that Caleb could see that he could depend on her, too. “I want to give you something in return.”

  He looked at her, his gaze tracking over her face, and lingering on her lips.

  Lexi had the strangest sensation that he was thinking of some inappropriate ways she could “pay rent.” She definitely was. And a not-so-little part of her really wished he’d just say it. The dirty talk from him last night had been a fantasy come true.

  Well, part of a fantasy. She had a whole library of full-blown fantasies that included a lot more than just talking.

  “What?” she finally asked.