Bad Seed

by Rye Hart

  “He’ll forgive you,” Sheila said wisely. “You’re brothers. That’s what brothers do. You fight.”

  “We’ve never fought like this,” I said.

  “Because you didn’t grow up together,” Sheila said sadly. “And that’s my fault. You and Josh missed out on so many years together. I’m sorry for that.”

  “It’s okay,” I said quickly. “I wasn’t saying that—”

  “I know,” Sheila said. “But it’s the truth. You and Josh are just catching up. You’re building a relationship and it’s hard. You’re bound to fight, but you’ll make it better. You’ll both forgive each other, and everything will be fine.”

  “You really think so?” I asked.

  “I do,” Sheila said. “But for now, you need to go home and get some rest. You’re exhausted.”

  I nodded but still didn’t move. My eyes returned to Josh’s sleeping face. What if he woke up and I was gone?

  “I’ll call you if anything changes,” Sheila said. “I promise.”

  I nodded again and, this time, I left. I walked slowly down the hallway. It wasn’t until I reached my car that I realized my phone was dead. I hadn’t brought a charger with me to the hospital and, until that morning, I didn’t bother to look at my phone.

  My thoughts turned to Julie as I drove toward home. I knew she was confused and probably hurt, but I didn’t have a choice last night. My brother was in critical condition. I had to get to the hospital. I wanted to call her, but then Sheila appeared. I came face to face with my biological mother for the first time in my life. I didn’t know how to act or what to think.

  Still, I felt guilty as I sped down the highway. I wanted to go straight to Julie’s house, but I was too tired to think. I let my body go on autopilot. It wasn’t until I pulled into my driveway that I realized where I was.

  “Home sweet home,” I said under my breath.

  With a groan, I pushed open my car door and stumbled inside. I plugged my phone in on my bedside table and laid down while it charged. My entire body was begging for sleep, but my brain had other ideas. I couldn’t stop thinking long enough to let my eyes fall shut.

  Five minutes later, my phone clicked on. Immediately, it began to buzz with all my missed notifications. I rolled over to see six missed calls from Julie and two voicemails. My stomach tightened as I pressed my phone to my ear to listen.

  “Michael,” Julie said. Her voice was full of emotion, but I could tell she was trying to control herself. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but you’re a world-class asshole for pulling this! I’ve been waiting for you for three hours! You haven’t even called or texted. At first, I was worried that something happened to you, but now I know you’re just a horrible person.”

  My heart sank when I heard those words, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected. She would be fine once I explained everything. She would understand.

  I kept my phone pressed to my ear while Julie’s second message began to play. From the first word she spoke, my hopes were dashed.

  “Michael!” she practically screamed my name into the phone. I could feel her anger as if she were standing right beside me. “You still haven’t called me. What the fuck? After everything you’ve already put me through, you’re just going to stand me up? Is this a joke or something? Are you and Joshua sitting together at some bar, laughing at my expense? ‘Oh, that stupid Julie! She actually thought I would show up tonight! What an idiot!’”

  She paused to hiccup, and I realized she’d been drinking.

  “Well, I am an idiot,” she said. “I’m an idiot to believe that you ever cared about me. I thought you lied because you liked me, but you didn’t. You lied because you’re a liar and nothing more. You’re just a lying liar asshole, just like your brother, and I never want to see you again. Ever! Don’t call me. Don’t come by. Don’t even try to see me. You lost your chance. I gave you a second chance, and you fucked it up, so just stay away from me. For good.”

  By the time I was done listening to her messages, I was sitting bolt upright in bed. I called her back with shaking hands. She didn’t answer. The second time I tried, she sent me to voicemail. Finally, on the third try, she picked up.

  “Stop calling me,” she said. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “Julie,” I said. “Please, just let me explain what happened.”

  “There’s nothing to explain,” she snapped. “Leave me the hell alone.”

  She hung up. I closed my eyes and cursed myself for not calling her sooner. How could I have been so stupid? I hurt her so badly that now, she wouldn’t even listen to my explanation.

  As tired as I was, I knew I couldn’t wait. I jumped out of bed and ran to my car. I sped through town until I reached Julie’s house. My head was racing as I ran up to her front door. I knocked, hard and fast.

  I could hear Julie moving around inside, and when I peered through the glass, I saw what was unmistakably her shadow. She didn’t come near the door, so I knocked again. And again. Still, nothing. I was beginning to lose hope when I realized that, if I left, that would be the end. I’d never get another chance.

  I decided it didn’t matter how long I had to wait, I would stand out there for hours until Julie finally let me inside. I had to explain myself. Julie needed to know the truth – that I didn’t just stand her up for no reason.

  Finally, ten minutes later, Julie finally came toward the door. She stopped on the other side with her hand on the doorknob. I could see her through the glass, her eyes glazed with tears and her lips set in an angry line.

  “Please,” I said softly. “Just open the door, Julie.”

  When she did, the look on her face was enough to knock me backward. I took a step away from her glare. Daggers shot out of her beautiful eyes. For the first time, I doubted whether I would be able to fix things.

  “I don’t want to hear it,” Julie said before I could speak. “There is nothing you can say that will make up for last night.”

  “It wasn’t my fault,” I began.

  “I don’t want to hear it!” she yelled. “You stood me up, Michael! I waited for you for three hours! Three hours of just sitting around, hoping you would show up.”

  “I’m sorry, I—”

  “Your apologies don’t mean anything,” Julie said. Her anger was still written all over her face, but buried deep down was something else. Something worse. She was heartbroken, and it was all my fault.

  “I never meant to—”

  “It doesn’t matter!” she yelled. “Just get out of here. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

  “You don’t mean that,” I said. “When I tell you what—”

  “You don’t get to tell me anything anymore,” Julie said. “I’ve heard enough from you. You lied to me. You let me fall for you. You slept with me! All while keeping a huge secret from me!”

  “That was—”

  “And I forgave you!” Julie snapped. “For all of that, I forgave you. I wanted us to make things work. I was so excited to see you, to celebrate Christmas with you. I couldn’t wait to be with you again. I spent all those days missing you and being miserable. And for what? Just so I could be stood up and made a fool of?”

  “You aren’t a fool—”

  “You’re damn right,” Julie said. “I’m not. Which is why I will never give you another chance. I will never see you again. I will never talk to you again.”

  “Julie—”

  “No.” Julie shook her head in disgust. “I’m done.”

  She slammed the door in my face and stomped away. I stood frozen on her doorstep, just staring through the glass and hoping she would come back. After a few minutes, I raised my fist to knock, but it was no use. Before I even touched the door, I dropped my hand and turned around.

  My chest felt heavy as I slowly climbed into my car. I turned on the car but didn’t pull away. Instead, I stared up at Julie’s house. I wanted nothing more than to run inside and force her to listen to me. She still didn’t know
the truth. She still didn’t know about Josh.

  And yet, I knew I had to leave. The look on Julie’s face told me everything I needed to know. She was done with me. Forever.

  I drove home in a fog. My body and my mind were both wrecked. After almost losing my brother, meeting my biological mother, and losing Julie, I was fried. I fell into bed and let the exhaustion consume me.

  CHAPTER 31

  JULIE

  A few days went by with no word from Michael. Part of me was glad he took me seriously and stayed away. I couldn’t stand the idea of seeing him again. Just thinking about him was enough to reduce me to an angry puddle of emotions. Tears sprang into my eyes with little to no inducement and, soon, the only thing that could take my mind off him was work.

  I threw myself into my writing. My boss sent me three assignments, and I finished them in as many days. Being unable to sleep helped my writing more than anything. I even sat down and knocked out a few more chapters of my book. When I wasn’t writing, I was taking long walks around town just for something to do. Anything that would keep my mind off Michael.

  I sent off my last assignment on Friday night and decided to watch a movie. My couch had never felt more comfortable as I curled into a ball and pulled a blanket over myself. I watched two movies, barely paying attention to either one. Still, I kept my eyes glued to the T.V. It wasn’t until my phone rang that I looked away.

  When I looked at my phone, I saw a random number flashing on the screen. With a frown, I tried to think if I’d seen it before. I hadn’t. I thought about ignoring it, but I was afraid it might be Andrea or my parents calling from a different number.

  “Hello?” I asked, putting the phone to my ear.

  “Julie, it’s me. Joshua. Don’t hang up, okay?”

  I froze. Joshua’s voice was the last thing I expected to hear when I answered the phone. I considered the possibility that it might be Michael, calling from an unknown number to trick me into answering. His brother never crossed my mind.

  “Joshua,” I said slowly. “Why are you calling from a weird number? Actually, why are you calling at all? I don’t have anything to say to you.”

  “I know,” Joshua said with a sigh. “And I don’t blame you for that. I’ve been a total dick lately.”

  “I won’t argue with that,” I said.

  Joshua sighed again, and I pushed myself off the couch. If I was going to talk to him, I couldn’t sit still. I paced around my living room, waiting for him to explain himself.

  “Listen,” he said. “There’s something you need to know.”

  “I’m not interested in anything you or your brother have to say,” I snapped.

  “You will be,” Joshua said. His confidence only made me angrier. “I was in a really bad car accident a few days ago. The day after Christmas. That’s why I’m calling from this number. I’m still in the hospital.”

  My mouth fell open, but no words came out. That wasn’t at all what I thought he would say. I expected him to say something about wanting me back or something about how horrible Michael had become. When I first heard his voice, I thought Joshua was calling to play on my emotions like he’d done a million times before.

  “Are you okay?” I asked. My voice cracked, but I cleared my throat and pushed on. “I mean, what happened?”

  “I’m going to be fine,” Joshua said quickly. “I had surgery that night, and I’ve been in recovery ever since. They removed my spleen. I have a few broken bones, and my kidneys are a little messed up.”

  “Oh my god.”

  “But, I’m fine,” Joshua said again. “And that’s not why I’m calling you.”

  “It’s not?” I asked.

  “No.” Joshua took a deep breath before he continued. “Michael was here that night. I know you two had plans, and I know you think he stood you up, but he didn’t. He got the message that I was in the hospital, and he came up here without thinking. It wasn’t his fault, Julie. He just did what any good brother would have done, even though I didn’t deserve it.”

  “He was there?” I asked. “On Tuesday night?”

  “Yes,” Joshua said firmly. “He was here all night. My mom said he didn’t leave until early the next morning.”

  “I—” I started to speak, but Joshua’s words suddenly registered. His mom was there. Michael’s biological mother, who he’d never met before.

  “That’s why he never called,” Joshua said softly. “When he got here, he was ready to call and explain himself. Then, he saw our mom and he just, well, you can imagine how that must have felt.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I can’t believe it.”

  “It sounds crazy,” Joshua said. “But it’s true. Michael didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t stand you up. He didn’t forget about you. He just had one hell of a night.”

  “I’m an idiot,” I said, speaking more to myself than to Joshua.

  “Why?” Joshua asked.

  “I wouldn’t even let him explain,” I said. “I just slammed the door in his face.”

  “I’m sure he doesn’t blame you,” Joshua said kindly. “You were upset. You didn’t know what happened.”

  “But I should have let him explain,” I said. “I can’t believe I did that.”

  “You can still fix it,” Joshua said. “That’s why I’m telling you.”

  I didn’t know what to say. It was weird enough that Joshua called me, but for him to defend Michael, it was like my entire world had just flipped on me.

  “Why are you doing this?” I asked suspiciously. “You’ve made it clear that you don’t want me to be with Michael.”

  “Because I was wrong,” Joshua said. “I was being selfish, and I’m sorry.”

  In all the years I’d known Joshua, I’d only heard him apologize a handful of times. He wasn’t the type of man to admit when he was wrong. If anything, he would go to blows just to prove himself right. Maybe his brush with death had changed him.

  “You and Michael obviously care about each other,” Joshua said. “And I shouldn’t have stood in the way of that. I’m sorry, Julie. I really am.”

  “Thank you,” I said softly. “But that doesn’t change what I did. Michael isn’t going to talk to me after I slammed the door in his face.”

  “He will,” Joshua said. “Of course he will.”

  Joshua and I talked a little more, mostly about how we were both sorry for the way things ended between us. He knew he was lucky to be alive and he didn’t want to waste the gift by continuing to be a huge dick. We admitted that we were never right for each other, and we promised to stay civil for Michael’s sake. It was hard, but the conversation ended well.

  “Go see him,” Joshua said. “Just try.”

  “Okay.”

  I said goodbye and stared down at my phone. I thought about calling Michael, seeing if he would meet me, but that didn’t feel right. After everything, I knew we needed to talk in person. This wasn’t a conversation we should have over the phone.

  Tucking my phone into my pocket, I ran outside. It was freezing, but I barely felt it. The only thing on my mind was getting to Michael’s place and making things right.

  As I drove through town, I cursed myself for being so stupid. How could I have let my anger get the better of me that way? Why didn’t I just let Michael explain himself? All of this could have been avoided if I had just taken a step back and calmed down. I felt like an idiot as I pushed my foot down harder on the gas and turned down Michael’s street.

  The lights were on in his house when I pulled up. I shut off my car and ran to the front door. When I knocked, I was out of breath and I could feel my hair whipping around my face in the wind.

  “Julie?” Michael’s eyes flew wide with surprise when he saw me standing there. He stood in his doorway, staring at me like he wasn’t sure if I was real.

  “Can we talk?” I asked. “Please?”

  “Sure.” Michael stood aside and let me hurry past.

  He led me into the living room and gestured t
oward a chair for me to sit. I shook my head and instead walked over to the fireplace. It was lit, and the flames warmed my body, sending waves of confidence floating through me.

  “What are you doing here?” Michael asked softly. “I mean, I’m happy to see you, but I thought… Well, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

  “Honestly, neither did I,” I said.

  “Then—”

  “I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I made a huge mistake the other day. When you came over to explain, I should have listened to you.”

  “You were upset,” Michael said with a shrug. “I understand.”

  “That doesn’t make it right,” I said. “If I had known what happened, I never would have—”

  “What happened?” Michael interrupted. “You mean, you know about…”

  “Joshua,” I said with a nod. “I know about his accident and about your biological mom. I know everything.”

  “How?” Michael blinked and took a step toward me. He searched my face, more confused than ever.

  “Joshua called me to explain everything,” I said. “He told me all about the accident. He said you were at the hospital all night and that’s why you never called.”

  “I was going to,” Michael said. “I had my phone out, ready to dial your number when Sheila walked up.”

  I nodded. “Joshua told me about that, too.”

  “I didn’t forget about you,” Michael said firmly. “I could never do that. I just… I didn’t think. I was distracted. Everything happened so fast.”

  “You don’t have to explain,” I said. I hurried forward and took his hands. He looked surprised, but he didn’t pull away. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

  “I’m sorry.” His voice was soft and low.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong,” I said with a laugh. “I’m the one who should apologize. I should have been there for you. I should have been the person you could talk to about this, and instead, I just pushed you away. I’m so sorry, Michael.”