Astrosaurs 22

by Steve Cole

  “You’d better dress for danger too, Pilot Marsh,” said Teggs. “You’ll find a spare helmet and some back armour in the store behind you.”

  “Thanks,” said Marsh, squeezing into the shiny steel gear. “By Wongo’s gut-wobbler . . . whatever’s out there, we’ll be ready for it.”

  “Let’s hope so,” said Gipsy softly, passing round torches.

  As Iggy opened the shuttle doors, a freezing gale blew in. It was a wild night. The sky was black, but glowing meteors drifted slowly through the sky like strange clouds. The dinosaurs trooped down a rocky hillside towards the wreck of the star-vault, their torch-beams lighting the way.

  Teggs and Arx wasted no time inspecting the gap in the side of the super-secure ship. And what they saw shocked them both.

  “You said that Hijacker Jack broke in through steel that was six metres thick,” Teggs reminded Marsh. “Well, he didn’t.”

  “What do you mean?” The pilot shone his torch into the darkness.

  “You can see the hole yourself.”

  “Yes,” Arx agreed. “But the hole has been cut through solid pumpkin!”

  Marsh hurried closer, Iggy and Gipsy just behind him. “Well, bake me a cake and call it Susan – you’re right! This whole chunk of the spaceship’s wall has turned into pumpkin!”

  “And very delicious it is too,” said Teggs, chomping on the edges of the orange hole.

  “Now we know how Hijacker Jack got inside so fast,” Gipsy observed. “It’s easy to cut through a wall of pumpkin!”

  “And look here!” Arx had moved further along the star-vault. “An enormous stick of celery poking out of the roof.”

  Marsh went very pale. “That . . . that used to be my laser cannon! How could it turn into a giant vegetable?”

  “No idea.” Iggy broke off some celery and showed it to Teggs. “I’ve never seen celery this size before.”

  “Well, Zeta Three wasn’t like this when I took off,” growled Marsh. “That hijacking wabber-worm and his friends must’ve done something to it while we were in flight.”

  Teggs nodded. “If we can find Hijacker Jack, perhaps we’ll learn what.”

  The dinos climbed into the hole, and Pilot Marsh led the way through the star-vault’s dark and crumpled corridors. The astrosaurs helped him search the whole ship, until finally they reached the control room.

  And found it empty.

  “Hey, look.” Iggy pointed to the floor, which was covered in dust and broken glass from the crash – along with large dark marks. “Those look like footprints leading out of here.”

  “So Hijacker Jack did survive the crash,” breathed Arx.

  Marsh nodded. “But where in the name of Janky Poodle’s six-legged space-dog is he now?”

  “I think it’s time we checked out that old castle.” Teggs led the way out of the control room. “We saw lights in the windows, so we know someone’s inside . . .”

  It was starting to rain as the dinosaurs left the shelter of the star-vault and hurried back up the hillside. Teggs shivered. The creepy castle loomed ahead, its two lit windows like yellow eyes watching him approach. The wind’s howl was like a ghostly warning.

  Finally, with lightning forking through the stormy skies above, the soaking dinosaurs reached an enormous wild garden that stretched around the castle. Teggs led his friends along an overgrown path and climbed the crooked steps to a huge wooden front door.

  Knocking loudly, Teggs turned to his friends. “Get ready, everyone. We don’t know what we’re going to meet in here . . .”

  SHUNK! THUNK! Heavy bolts were drawn back on the other side of the door, and a key rattled loudly in the lock.

  Iggy raised his stun claws; Gipsy adopted a judo pose; Arx got ready with his horn blasters; and Teggs and Marsh raised their tails as the door creaked slowly open . . .

  “DO NOT MOVE!” A big robot dinosaur appeared. It had a fierce face, red glowing eyes and a gleaming hunchback. Five steel ropes suddenly shot out from inside the steel hump.

  “Hey!” Teggs gasped as the first rope wrapped around his arm and tightened. Arx, Iggy, Gipsy and Marsh were grabbed in the same split-second. As they cried out in shock, Teggs swung his spiky tail at the robot’s head, but – ZZZZT! – a jolt of electricity zapped through his bones, knocking him to his knees.

  “My name is IGOR – Intelligent ‘Generation One’ Robot,” the thing told them in a flat, droning voice. “I can electrify these ropes. If you try to fight me, I shall do so.”

  “Charming!” said Gipsy, holding very still. “Do you treat all your visitors like this?”

  “I obey Doctor Frankensaur’s orders,” IGOR replied.

  “Frankensaur?” Arx looked shocked. “Doctor Vickavon Frankensaur?”

  Marsh frowned. “You’ve heard of him?”

  “Frankensaur was a genius,” said Arx, nodding. “He worked for big electronics companies on Hadros Major, inventing new technology. But one day last year, right in the middle of a top-secret project, he went missing . . .”

  “You know too much about my master,” said IGOR. “Conclusion – you are spies, come to harm him.”

  “No!” Teggs cried. “That’s not true—!”

  “Electrifying ropes,” the robot interrupted. “NOW!”

  Chapter Four

  WHAT’S THE MATTA?

  ZZZZZT! TEGGS GASPED with pain as the steel cable around his arm sparked blue, sending powerful shocks through his whole body. His friends cried out as IGOR electrified the other ropes.

  “Stop . . . it!” Teggs sank slowly to his knees. “We’re not spies, we’re ASTROSAURS!”

  “Astrosaurs?” A large shadowy figure was approaching across the castle’s hallway. “Stop, IGOR. Your master commands it!”

  Obediently, the robot switched off the power. Arx, Iggy and Gipsy fell to the ground, panting for breath. Marsh groaned with relief.

  Teggs looked up at the imposing dinosaur who’d given IGOR his orders. “So . . . you’re Doctor Frankensaur?”

  “That is correct,” the figure replied. Frankensaur was a kritosaurus – similar in size and shape to Iggy but with a snout sticking out like a bony balloon. He wore a scarf and a long dark jacket, and seemed to have been in the wars – one of his arms was in plaster, supported by a large sling, while the end of his tail was swollen and wrapped in bandages. His words came slowly, as if he were half-asleep. “And who exactly are you?”

  Teggs pulled his red Captain’s Card from his belt. “I am Teggs Stegosaur, and these are my crewmates, Arx, Gipsy and Iggy. You can trust us – my crew and I have top-level DSS security clearance.”

  “So I see.” Frankensaur returned Teggs’s card and turned to IGOR. “Release my guests at once. Get on with your duties.”

  The robot retracted his ropes, bowed and clanked away.

  “Beats having a guard dog, I suppose,” said Iggy.

  “Indeed,” said Frankensaur. “I built IGOR myself to keep me company – and to keep me safe.” He turned slowly to Teggs. “Now, what are you doing here, Captain?”

  “We’re investigating the spaceship that crashed nearby,” said Teggs.

  “Oh. That.” Frankensaur shook his head. “I was so busy working I didn’t even notice until I glanced out of the window just now.”

  “You didn’t notice a crashing star-vault?” Teggs raised his eyebrows. “Our friend Marsh here was the pilot – until a two-headed monster kicked him out. A two-headed monster who right now is on the loose, somewhere on this asteroid.”

  “I see.” Frankensaur looked grave. “Please, come in.”

  Dripping water, Teggs and his friends followed Frankensaur into the cold, gloomy hall. A single electric bulb flickered above their heads. The walls were bare. A wooden staircase with floorboards missing ran up into the darkness of the upper levels.

  “What a dump!” Iggy murmured.

  Frankensaur led his guests into a shabby sitting room, and invited them to sit on dusty couches. IGOR stood by a door on the far side.


  “IGOR,” said Frankensaur, “bring refreshments.”

  IGOR bowed and left the room.

  “Do you actually live here, Doctor Frankensaur?” Arx wondered. “A ramshackle old castle is the last place I’d expect to find a brilliant inventor like you.”

  “That is precisely why I stay.” Frankensaur smiled coldly. “I had to leave Hadros Major to continue work on my special project. You see, a brilliant meat-eater scientist called Professor Hydra is trying to invent something similar. His agents very nearly succeeded in kidnapping me.”

  Arx nodded. “I suppose Hydra wanted your help.”

  “He needs my brain,” Frankensaur agreed, staring into space.

  “So you went into hiding,” Teggs reasoned. “But why here?”

  “This castle has been in my family for centuries,” said Frankensaur. “It was first built as a holiday home for a rich relative of mine. She even provided a little village nearby for all her servants.” He sighed and stroked his bandaged tail. “I thought no one would ever find me here. Thought that I could carry on with my work in safety.”

  “What is this special project of yours?” asked Gipsy.

  “You must tell us,” Teggs said. “At first we thought the two-headed monster came here by accident. But perhaps he’s come here to get you.”

  Frankensaur got to his feet. “I will show you. Come along . . .” He led the way out of the room and flicked a switch. Slowly, a bulb glowed into life in the cracked ceiling, lighting the rickety stairs.

  “Doesn’t look very safe.” Iggy eyed Frankensaur’s injuries – the bandaged lump on his tail and his arm in plaster. “Speaking of safety, what happened to you?”

  “Pardon?” The doctor seemed lost in his own grim thoughts. “Oh, my injuries, you mean. I tripped and fell down this staircase in the dark – very careless of me. Luckily IGOR is programmed for first aid . . .”

  The stairs led onto a shadowy landing lined with empty suits of cobwebby dino-armour, and stuffed plants mounted on the walls. Teggs and his friends followed the dino-doctor over to a large door.

  “In here, you will find a masterpiece of technology.” Frankensaur slowly opened the door and flicked another light-switch. “Behold!”

  Teggs led the way eagerly inside, but he was confused by what he saw there. “Er . . . it looks like two telescopes stuck to a big hairdryer that’s pointing at an empty toilet cubicle.”

  “Looks can be deceiving,” said Frankensaur with a smile. “You are in fact looking at my marvellous MATTA machine! MATTA – short for ‘Mix-And-Transmit, Transmogrifying Area’.”

  Marsh looked blank. “What does transmogrify mean?”

  “To change the form of something,” Arx explained, “making it different.”

  “It works like this.” Frankensaur walked stiffly over to the two “telescopes”. “First, I choose the two things to be mixed and transmitted with these focus tubes. I shall point them at the garden below. Captain, choose any two vegetables.”

  “Certainly,” said Teggs keenly. He looked through the tubes and spotted clumps of lettuces and ferns growing side by side. “I’ll have one of each of those.”

  “I’m sure you like your veg on the large side.” Frankensaur twisted a dial on the side of the machine. “Now, all I need to do is switch on the MATTA machine – and all you need to do is watch that cubicle . . .”

  Suddenly the hairdryer thing glowed bright green. A buzz of power filled the room – and then a large and curious shape began to form inside the vibrating cubicle.

  It was part giant lettuce, part enormous fern . . .

  “Amazing!” cried Arx, studying the MATTA machine as it powered down. “You transported two vegetables from the garden, combined them somehow, and made them reappear right here at six times their normal size!”

  Teggs rushed forward to inspect the giant plant – and to nibble it. “It’s not just amazing, it’s delicious too!”

  “By the seven tangerines of Barky O’Bonk,” said Marsh. “What a clever contraption!”

  Frankensaur nodded rather smugly. “Yes, it is.”

  “No wonder your garden is full of plump and prize-winning plants,” said Teggs.

  “And if you had more power,” Arx suggested, “you could transmit them over large distances.”

  “Think of it!” Gipsy’s eyes took on a faraway look. “With lots of MATTA machines you could send masses of fresh food to needy dinosaurs anywhere in the Jurassic Quadrant.”

  Arx nodded happily. “Starvation will be a thing of the past.”

  But Frankensaur looked grave. “Speaking of starvation, where’s IGOR with our refreshments?” He turned and left the room. “I must go and check—”

  Just then Gipsy’s communicator beeped. “Hello?” A few moments later, she gasped. “OK . . . Thanks for the info, Sprite.”

  “What is it, Gipsy?” asked Teggs.

  “DSS HQ have gone through their records and identified our two-headed hijacker,” she began. “It’s a red spinosaurus bank robber called Jack Spallack – and it’s also a green allosaurus thief called Rojan Barb . . .” Gipsy nodded grimly. “That’s right, Captain. It wasn’t just one carnivore criminal you talked to on the Sauropod, it was two of them – squashed together!”

  Chapter Five

  HEADLESS HORROR

  “TWO MEAT-MUNCHING CROOKS,” Teggs breathed, “combined into one to make a super-carnivore criminal . . .”

  “Sounds to me like they’ve been put through Frankensaur’s MATTA whatsit,” said Iggy.

  Marsh nodded. “And someone could’ve used this gadget to transmit that big wedge of pumpkin into the side of Zeta Three too.”

  “No,” said Arx firmly, looking up from the MATTA machine. “I’ve just checked the DNA-fusion matrix. This thing can only combine plants with other plants – it simply couldn’t work on dinosaurs or metal.”

  “Well, something certainly did,” said Teggs. “Frankensaur told us that Professor Hydra was working on a similar invention, remember? Maybe he’s got a machine that can mix and transmit flesh or metal?”

  “And it can’t be coincidence that our two-headed friend landed here,” said Gipsy. “Perhaps they want to get rid of Frankensaur and his machine, so only meat-eaters have this power.”

  “Hey, look!” Iggy pointed through the window. “There in the old village . . . I saw something move.”

  Teggs was at the window in an instant. “What was it?”

  “It was too dark to tell,” said Iggy.

  “We’d better check it out,” said Teggs. “Gipsy, Marsh, you stay here – make sure that Frankensaur’s safe and the castle is secure. Arx, Iggy – come with me!”

  The three astrosaurs raced from the room and thundered down the stairs. Gipsy heard a creak and a slam from the heavy front door as they raced out into the night. SHUNK! THUNK! The door was bolted again behind them.

  Moments later, IGOR’s metallic feet were thumping up the stairs. The hunchbacked robot clanked across the landing with a tray of steaming swamp coffee and crumpets. “I have brought refreshments.”

  “And by the beard of Nompton, not a moment too soon.” Marsh grabbed a mug of the whiffy brew and swigged deeply. “Ahhhh!”

  IGOR turned to Gipsy. “Where have your friends gone?”

  “Outside, looking for trouble,” Gipsy told him, sipping from a mug herself. “While they’re away, Marsh and I are going to check out this old castle to make sure it’s safe.”

  “Not necessary,” snapped IGOR. “I am here to protect Doctor Frankensaur.”

  “But you can’t be everywhere at once,” Gipsy pointed out. “I mean, where is Frankensaur right now?”

  “He is . . . resting downstairs.” IGOR sounded slightly shifty. “His arm was hurting him.”

  “He seemed all right a minute ago.” Marsh put his empty mug back on the tray. “Gipsy, shall I check he’s OK?”

  “Good idea,” she replied.

  IGOR watched him leave, but Gipsy’s atten
tion had been taken by a set of wires snaking from the top of the MATTA machine into the ceiling. “Where do those cables lead?” she asked.

  “They connect the MATTA machine to a special generator upstairs that gives power to the whole castle,” explained IGOR.

  “Then that’s the first room we should check.” Gipsy eyed the lightbulb glowing feebly in the ceiling. “If an intruder cut the power we’d be left in the dark – and at their mercy.”

  “Hey, Gipsy!” Marsh came trudging back up the stairs. “I can’t find Frankensaur anywhere—”

  SCRRR-BAMM! A splintering, smashing noise from upstairs made Gipsy jump. “What was that?”

  “I don’t know,” said Marsh gravely. “But I suppose we should find out . . .”

  “Come on!” Gipsy raced up the stairs.

  “I shall accompany you,” IGOR announced.

  Within seconds, Gipsy had reached the gloomy upper landing. She fumbled for a light-switch. At the far end of the passage, a door had been smashed open. A dark, misshapen figure came stumbling out.

  “Who’s there?” Gipsy demanded as Marsh and IGOR arrived beside her.

  The robot hit the lights, and in the eerie flickering glow a nightmare monster stood revealed. Its body was broad and dark with white stripes, and it had a thick snaking tail. It walked upright on two powerful legs. One arm stuck out from its side, ending in fearsome claws, while another, bigger arm grew out of its back. But the most petrifying part of its appearance was something at the top of its neck . . . Or, rather, nothing at the top of its neck.

  The creature had no head!

  “That’s impossible,” Gipsy whispered as terror squeezed her heart. “Grab it,” she told IGOR. “Use those electric ropes of yours!”

  “I am programmed only to arrest intruders,” said IGOR calmly.

  “What do you think that thing is?” Marsh shouted. “Frankensaur’s mum come round for tea?”

  IGOR ignored him and gave a small bow to the headless monster. “Please, sir, may I fetch you some swamp coffee?”

  The weird creature’s stomach gave a rumble like a battle cry – and suddenly it thundered down the passage towards Gipsy, IGOR and Marsh at amazing speed.