Astrosaurs 22

by Steve Cole

  “It’s what I’m going to do to them that should concern you.” Hydra threw back his head – there was nothing much else he could throw – and laughed. “Once I send the signal to my servants, my ultimate experiment can finally begin!”

  Chapter Eight

  MONSTER MADNESS!

  IN THE VILLAGE, still frozen beside Arx and Iggy, Teggs could see Frankensaur’s castle in the distance. “Oh, Gipsy,” he murmured sadly. “I hope you’re not in as much trouble as we are!”

  Suddenly three flashes of light shone at one of the tower windows.

  “That’s Hydra’s signal,” said Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko, pointing a remote at the lightning converter. “Feeding through the power – now!”

  The giant spike crackled with energy. Sparks shot out from the satellite dish and it glowed bright green.

  Both Rojan-Jack’s heads spoke as one: “Now to beam the power to the castle, where Hydra’s machines will pick it up – and send a super-strong MATTA-MAMMMA ray back over here . . .”

  The light zapped over to the castle in a glittering stream, and Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko laughed. “Here comes your operation, astrosaurs!”

  Ka-SHROWWW! A glaring, flaring beam of power engulfed Teggs, Arx and Iggy. A sizzling sensation seared through Teggs’s bones. It felt as though something were pulling him inside out. He groaned and gasped. Flashes of colour danced before his eyes.

  Then the beam cut out. Teggs collapsed to the ground, and his friends fell beside him. He felt dizzy and sore all over.

  “Ha, ha!” Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko pointed its many tails and laughed. “Just look at those astro-suckers now.”

  “These freaky knuckleheads won’t be laughing by the time I’m through with them.” Iggy bunched his fists – then boggled his eyes. “Oh, no – look! My claws! My thumb-spikes!” His voice dropped to a shocked whisper. “They . . . they’ve turned into . . .”

  “Onions?” Teggs’s mouth fell open in astonishment. “No way! It’s one thing to turn spaceship walls into pumpkins, but this . . .” He turned angrily to face Rojan-Jack and thwacked his tail against the ground. But instead of a solid THUMP he heard only a limp swoosh! He couldn’t feel his tail at all.

  “Captain,” squeaked Iggy, pointing an onion finger in disbelief. “Your tail . . . it’s turned into a BABY TREE!”

  “What?” Teggs looked behind him and did a double take. His big spiky, power-packed tail had gone, to be replaced by the leafy branches of a small sapling. “I don’t believe it! This can’t be happening . . .”

  “Well, it is,” jeered Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko. “What are you going to do, Captain – sweep the floor with that big bad tail of yours?”

  “Laugh while you can,” said Arx, getting woozily to his feet. “I’ve still got my horns. They will sort you out!”

  “But, Arx, you don’t still have your horns.” Teggs gulped. “Your whole head-frill has gone.”

  Iggy nodded, horror-struck. “It’s turned into a big lily pad with cactuses poking out!”

  “Our toughest attack parts have been taken away!” Arx was going boss-eyed trying to see his new leafy head-frill. “But what has become of them?”

  *

  Back in Frankensaur’s castle, the MAMMMA machine juddered to a stop. Gipsy’s eyes were on stalks as she watched her friends and their unlikely plant-parts on the little TV screen.

  “What have you done, Hydra?” she demanded, struggling in the grip of the gruesome body. “There’s . . . stuff growing out of them!”

  “Simply a side-effect of combining my flesh-mangling MAMMMA machine with Frankensaur’s veggie version – whatever I take is replaced by plant-life.” The professor’s horrible head bobbed about excitedly at the end of the tail. “But who cares about that? The real experiment should be coming to an end downstairs. Let’s go and see. Come on – quickly!”

  Hydra steered Frankensaur’s body out onto the landing and down the creaky steps. Gipsy gasped as her headless captor carried her away in pursuit.

  By the time they arrived in Frankensaur’s lab, the white MATTA machine was whirring, and something strange and sinister was forming in the cubicle. It was like some kind of giant snake, twice as big as Gipsy, with a large, shield-shaped head, its squirming body covered in purple prickles and ivory spikes. Huge slabs of metal armour added to its bulk.

  With horror, Gipsy realized that she was looking at a super-sized version of Teggs’s tail, with Arx’s horns and bony head-frill perched on top, and Iggy’s stun claws and thumb-spikes – much enlarged – wriggling like sharp legs beneath it!

  “That’s revolting . . .” she whispered.

  “It is genius,” Hydra replied, bobbing forward on Frankensaur’s tail to study the creature. “I have mixed, transmitted and transmogrified matter – and created new life!”

  Gipsy pressed a button on her communicator. She couldn’t risk talking to Teggs, but she could at least let him know she was alive by allowing him to listen in on what was happening . . .

  Hydra was still burbling on. “Since my monster is part Teggs, part Arx and part Iggy, I shall call it – Tarxig!”

  “I don’t get it!” Gipsy cried. “You’ve stolen bits from my friends and squashed them together to make a monster, but it doesn’t have a brain or a heart – so how can it be alive?”

  “Plants live without brains or a heart, and are sensitive to the world around them,” Hydra informed her. “The flesh here has been combined with narg-nettles – and the more narg-nettles sting, the faster they grow.”

  Gipsy understood now. “So that’s why you needed Frankensaur’s plant-mashing machine as well as your flesh-and-metal mixing version.”

  Tarxig suddenly whipped forward, like a cobra trying to strike, and Hydra jerked his head away. “Ha! See that? Tarxig has absorbed the instinct of the narg-nettles. He cannot see, but he can detect vibrations, just as the nettles can. He wants to attack, to grow even bigger and even stronger . . .”

  “A living weapon . . .” Gipsy stared at the monstrous mish-mash as it scuttled out of the cubicle on its claws, peering about blindly. “You think you can conquer the entire Vegetarian Sector with things like this?”

  “Of course!” Hydra beamed. “Once the MATTA-MAMMMA machine is perfected, I can target the dinosaurs of an entire planet, remove their toughest parts, and turn the pieces into monsters that will attack their owners! And meantime, we invade . . .”

  “Knowing they’ll be too busy battling their own body-bits to fight you.” Gipsy struggled in the grip of Hydra’s brainless body as Tarxig slithered closer. “But you won’t win, Hydra – the DSS will send spaceships to destroy you.”

  “Are you forgetting what I did to your friend’s star-vault? My mighty machine can mess up metal as well. I will turn the walls of your mightiest battleships into lettuce leaves! I will transform DSS HQ into a pile of cabbage in space!” Hydra sniggered. “The Vegetarian Sector will be defenceless – and the entire Carnivore Sector will worship me as their supreme ruler!”

  As Hydra laughed madly, the twitching Tarxig held still for a moment as if scenting the air – then lunged for Gipsy. Desperately, just in time, she twisted free of the arm that held her and ran out onto the landing. But Hydra’s headless body kicked the tail-beast after her.

  “Run, Gipsy!” Hydra shouted. “Let’s see how far you get before my creature catches you. One thump from those spikes and prickles, and you will be dead!”

  Gipsy heard his shouts echo through the castle. “Captain!” she cried into her communicator. “I hope you and Arx and Iggy are all right . . . but I don’t think I will be for much longer!”

  Behind her, she could hear the thump and slither of the pursuing Tarxig . . .

  Chapter Nine

  TEARS AND TRICKERY

  TEGGS GULPED AS Gipsy’s voice burst from his communicator. He, Arx and Iggy had been listening gravely as the astounding situation unfolded – and so too had Rojan-Jack and Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko.

  “Well,” said Teggs to his
foes. “It doesn’t sound to me as if putting your bodies back to normal is high on Hydra’s ‘to do’ list.”

  “We’ll see about that,” Rojan growled. He went into the spaceship and came out a few moments later with a silver hover-scooter. “Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko – stay here and guard the prisoners. I’m going back to the castle to talk to the boss.”

  “Me too!” said Jack, a bit pointlessly.

  Teggs watched the two-headed monster whizz away, then turned to Arx and Iggy. “Somehow, we’ve got to reach the castle and help Gipsy.”

  Iggy stared sadly at his onion claws. “But how can we get past a dirty great monster like that when we’ve been turned part plant?”

  “Answer: you can’t,” jeered Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko. “What are you going to do – cry about it?”

  “Astrosaurs never give up,” said Arx defiantly.

  “But crying’s a good idea,” Teggs murmured, “so long as we’re not the ones who are weeping.” He nodded at Iggy’s onion fingers. “Ig, if you were to scratch your thumb-spikes on a narg-nettle . . .”

  Iggy spied a clump of the purple plants close by and suddenly got what his captain was driving at. “Hold your breath, guys!” he whispered – and slowly reached out to grasp the nettles. The sharp prickles cut through the brown onion skins and into the glistening vegetables inside. “Can’t feel a thing!” he assured them. “But as for Bim and company . . .”

  “Hey . . .” As the raw onion fumes carried to them, Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko’s eyes began to water and run. “What’s going on?” They tried to wipe their eyes and noses with their tails, but only managed to slap themselves in the face.

  “It’s working!” hissed Arx excitedly. “The onions are making them cry, and they can’t see through their tears.”

  “And now I’ll give them something to really cry about . . .” Teggs curled his springy sapling tail around a bunch of narg-nettles, uprooted them – and then shoved them into the monster’s faces!

  “ARRRGH!” A chorus of howls went up. Teggs nipped behind Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko and gave the mutant a hefty shove. WHUMP! It fell over.

  “Now it’s my turn!” Arx rushed forward with his cactus horns and jabbed the beast on its bottom. With a raging howl, Bim-Wim-Lim-Dim-Ponko jumped straight up into the air, flipped over, and landed on a sharp rock.

  KRACKK!

  The multiple-monster was out cold.

  Teggs gave his friends a crooked smile. “Not too shabby for three dinosaurs recovering from an operation!” Then he spoke into his communicator. “Gipsy, this is Teggs. We’ve escaped! Are you all right?”

  “Oh, Captain!” Gipsy’s voice crackled from the communicator. “Between your tail, Arx’s horns, Iggy’s claws and a bunch of nettles, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.”

  “You must,” Teggsurged her. “We’re on our way to get you – but so is Rojan-Jack, and he’s way ahead of us.”

  Gipsy groaned. “That’s all I need!”

  “We’ll be there as fast as we can,” Teggs promised.

  Arx pointed to the carnivores’ spaceship. “That’s the quickest way.”

  “But can I fly it with onions for fingers?” Iggy rushed inside. “Guess there’s only one way to find out!”

  In Frankensaur’s gloomy castle, Gipsy was racing down the stairs towards the hallway. She could hear Tarxig scrabbling after her like some mutant scorpion.

  Suddenly, a step gave way beneath her and her hoof crashed through the rotting wood. Gasping with surprise, she heard the heavy whoosh of Tarxig as he jumped over her shoulder. Had she not fallen, he would’ve smashed into her back!

  Instead, the living tail-beast dropped onto the shiny form of IGOR, who still lay broken at the bottom of the staircase. Ka-CLANG! The robot twitched under the impact, his hand clenching and unclenching. Confused, Tarxig began to hammer the robot with horns, spikes and leaves, denting the tough casing and causing sparks to burst from within.

  “You two deserve each other,” Gipsy muttered. Slowly, carefully, she pulled her leg free of the splintered stair and crept down to the hallway. If she could just make it to the pumpkin patch, wake up Marsh and get back to her friends . . .

  Gipsy reached the big front door and pulled back the bolts.

  But then the door was kicked open – and in a flash of lightning, she saw the nightmare shape of Rojan-Jack framed in the doorway.

  “Going somewhere, girlie?” Rojan growled as Jack bared his teeth in a nasty grin. “I don’t think so . . .”

  Gipsy heard more scuttling behind her. Frantically she tried to shove the two-headed terror aside – but three of his arms grabbed her. “Get out of the way!” she shouted, struggling to move. “You don’t understand the danger . . .”

  Looking back, her eyes widened as Tarxig scrabbled across the hallway towards them – spikes and horns gleaming, leaves rustling, ready to jump and deliver the killing blow . . .

  But suddenly a steel cord lashed out from the far end of the hall – and wrapped itself tightly about the tail-beast’s middle before it could attack. Tarxig strained and pulled like a mad dog on a leash, but could get no closer to the door – as a slightly crumpled metal figure was holding on tight . . .

  “IGOR!” Gipsy exclaimed. “You stopped that thing!”

  “Tail mutant . . . is not . . . recognized as . . . a guest,” IGOR croaked, his head sinking back to the floor.

  “But I am,” said Rojan, gripping Gipsy even tighter. “And I’m going to have a word with Professor Hydra.”

  “Maybe even two words,” added Jack. “Like ‘good’ and ‘evening’! Or ‘hello’ and ‘hello’. Er, does that count as two words or is it just one repeated—?”

  “SHUT UP!” roared Rojan. “If Hydra doesn’t split us apart soon, I’ll go crazy! I’ll go—”

  BONG! CLANG! The sound of two metallic wallops rang out. As Rojan-Jack slid to the floor, Gipsy saw a figure wielding a massive spade behind him . . .

  “There!” it told the sprawling body. “That’s for kicking me off my ship!”

  “Pilot Marsh!” Gipsy sighed with relief and gave him a hug. “Wow, am I ever glad to see you!” “By the nibbled nose of the purple pish, it’s good to see you too!” Marsh frowned when he saw the twitching Tarxig on its steel lead, and IGOR feebly twitching on the floor beside it. “But it’s not so good to see those things. What in the seven numps of Bingbong has been happening around here?”

  “You’ll never believe me,” said Gipsy. “Come on. We’ve got to get out of here and—”

  “No!” Frankensaur thundered into the hall – Hydra’s head waving about on the end of his tail and a laser pistol clutched in his clawed hand. “Close and bolt that door, Marsh – or I’ll shoot Gipsy!”

  Marsh boggled at the sight of the monstrous scientist. “I wish I’d stayed in that pumpkin now!” Slowly, shakily, he turned and obeyed.

  “Thank you,” purred Hydra. He fired at the thick wire that held his creation prisoner, snapping it in two. Tarxig wriggled with pleasure as it shook the steel away. “Now, my test can continue – with two subjects. Prepare to die!”

  Chapter Ten

  CASTLE CARNAGE!

  GIPSY GULPED. HER heart was banging so hard against her ribs, she guessed Tarxig could sense the vibrations a mile away. It scuttled towards them, spikes shaking, horns glinting, ready to strike—

  But something else struck first – at the castle itself!

  WHA-BOOOOOM! With a gigantic explosion, the wall smashed apart in a storm of stone and cement. Gipsy and Marsh were thrown to the floor. Frankensaur and Hydra’s head were half buried in rubble. Debris rained down and dust turned the air to a choking fog.

  “By the fourteen fangs of Fobrob the Fink,” Marsh groaned as the echoes of the blast faded and the air began to clear. “What was that?”

  Coughing and gasping, Gipsy got up – and almost bumped her head on the nose-cone of a massive rocket, which was poking through the wall. “It was this thing! But where did it come f
rom?”

  “Sorry about that slight crash-landing, everyone!” A large orange-brown figure came striding through the smoke. “Flying a strange spaceship’s not so easy when your pilot’s hands have turned to onions . . .”

  “Captain Teggs!” Gipsy hugged him tight. “I’ve been so worried.”

  “So have we,” said Arx, emerging from the side of the spaceship, his lily-pad head-frill waving in the smoke and his cactuses a-tremble. “We saw Rojan-Jack’s scooter outside. Where is he?”

  “Er, I think you’re standing on him, Arx,” said Iggy, scrambling out to join them. Sure enough, two dazed faces were sticking out of the debris. “Poor old Rojan-Jack. He’ll have a couple of headaches after that!”

  Gipsy ran over to embrace Arx and Iggy. “I saw what happened to you all. You poor things, just look at you . . .”

  Marsh scratched his head. “I wish I knew what was going on around here!”

  But before anyone could explain, the stones beside him erupted – and the thrashing, spiky menace of Tarxig appeared, swiping viciously this way and that. It seemed to sense Teggs close by and reared up to attack . . .

  “How dare you!” Teggs bellowed. “May I remind you that at least three-quarters of your body belongs to members of the Dinosaur Space Service, and that I am your captain? You’re a disgrace!”

  Tarxig cringed and shied away. It was almost as if it could hear and understand Teggs’s words.

  “We order you not to harm another living thing,” Arx shouted.

  “Now, SIT!” said Iggy sternly.

  Tarxig curled up sulkily on the stony carpet, and lay still.

  “I don’t believe it!” Gipsy stared, incredulous. “How did that work? Tarxig’s got no ears.”

  “True – but it was built from our bodies,” Arx reminded her. “And our bodies are used to doing what we tell them to!”

  “Well, now you will do as I tell you,” came a voice from the other end of the hallway – as Hydra’s head emerged from the rubble.

  “So you’re Professor Hydra.” Teggs waved his sapling tail crossly. “I have a bone to pick with you – well, a small tree actually.”

  “Your threats are meaningless.” Hydra pointed his pistol at Teggs. “If I can no longer use you in my tests, I shall kill you all where you stand!”