Even Angels Fall

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Even Angels Fall Page 40

by Fay Darbyshire


  “What…?” Mr Harper smirks, trying to read her expression.

  “Nothing…” She muses,“ It’s just, I’m not all that sorry, about what happened before… or what nearly happened…” The rational part of Abbey’s conscience is screaming at her to shut up. She has no idea why she is saying this, but Harper has the ability to bring out the truth in her. To make her open up and confess her feelings, no matter how awkward it might be. He shifts slightly in his chair but doesn’t lean back or widen the distance between them.

  “I’m your teacher, Abbey…” He states, running his hand round the back of his neck, “I have a duty of care…”

  “I know that…” She nods in agreement, “But I’m not a kid…”

  “I know. In that case, how about we compromise with friendship?” He grins suddenly as a memory rushes to the forefront of his mind, “Or is that too lame for you? I remember you saying that once… ‘I’m your teacher but I’m also’…”

  “Your friend…” Abbey laughs out loud as she recalls their very first conversation and they smile at one another, sweetly, “Were you really going to say head of sixth form?”

  “I was…” he holds his hand to his chest with sincerity, “you jumped in with your corny assumption before I could finish…”

  “Yeah, well, I wasn’t much for the touchy, feely crap back then. I had a lot of people trying to reach out to me and it was getting pretty exhausting…”

  “I can imagine. People always mean well, but it can be suffocating…” Abbey recalls Harper’s story of what happened to his brother and her heart swells with sympathy. She had forgotten just how alike their past experiences are and how much she can relate to him. Perhaps that is another reason why she feels such a close connection?

  “So, are you ready to finish what you started with you’re A-Levels…?” He asks, cheerfully.

  “Both ready and willing…” Abbey nods.

  “Good stuff. We’ll get your timetable sorted and a schedule of your lessons… it might be difficult at first, getting back into the swing of things, but any problems or issues and we’ll sort them together…”

  “Thank you… Mr Harper…” Abbey smiles widely, amused at using such a formal address for a man she is supposedly ‘friends’ with and whom she very nearly kissed. It is clear that he sees the funny side too, smiling in response as he moves back over to his side of the desk.

  “Matt…”

  “Hmm…?”

  “It’s Matt, Matt Harper…”

  “Oh, OK…” Abbey grins, “I’m glad you told me that… it’d feel even weirder calling you Sir…”

  “Matt’s fine…” He laughs, gathering together the various books and paperwork that will guide Abbey through her final year of school… again.

  It’s strange to think that someone so young can have such a demanding job role, one that is so full of responsibility. She had discovered through a bit of calculated snooping that Matt Harper has only recently turned 27. That is almost two years younger than Alex, and he couldn’t be more different or live a more contrary life to the one she very recently turned her back on. It just goes to show that everyone has their own story, and everyone copes with the hand they are dealt in different and varied ways.

  “It’s good to have you back…” Matt smiles, and Abbey nods, agreeing with him wholeheartedly. It is beyond strange to think that she would ever be happy to be back in this place, but she really, truly is.

  Living a normal, structured, teenage life is something Abbey hasn’t experienced in a long time and as the months go by, she can feel the trauma of her recent past fading into the background. She will never forget, but her focus and drive to move forward has clearly started to pay off, at home with her family as well as with her achievements in school.

  There isn’t a day goes by where she doesn’t think of her friends and the ‘family’ she left behind. She constantly wonders how Nathan is coping; she can’t turn a single corner or walk down a single hallway at Eden without being reminded of him, Liam and Lucy. The walls and corridors are steeped in memories and although painful, it is a link to her friends that she is grateful for, as she still feels connected to them in some way.

  Her phone never rang. There were no messages or missed calls after she left. Alex must have been so furious? Or perhaps he secretly wanted her to leave? Abbey will never really know. But her love for him hasn’t faded. She still worries constantly, still hopes and prays that he is alright and staying out of trouble. She hopes that Darren is grieving and dealing with the loss of his sister. She hopes that Sophie is helping him and that Gemma is standing by them all, not distancing herself like before with Tom. They will always be in her heart and she is eternally grateful to them for bringing her back to life when she needed it the most. It is just so unfortunate and so incredibly sad, that it all came full circle and she had to walk away in order to survive.

  Working on her relationship with her family has been an on-going process ever since she left rehab and moved home. Nothing is perfect, nothing can be 100% fine every single day, and in true sibling form Abbey and Peter have clashed more than once. But it is the normal, stereotypical squabbling that you would find in any home. Where they bicker and argue until Janet steps in and orders them both to be quiet. Nine times out of ten they end up laughing together, instead of hating each other and responding with the silent treatment for several days. It is a healthy, stable relationship and Abbey is thriving as a result. All that time she spent being angry at them, all that time she wasted staying away from home and ostracising her own family; it means she is all the more determined now to make it up to them, for her own sake as well as theirs.

  She has managed to regain that loving connection with Janet and Peter that had been missing for so long and becoming a first time Aunt has brought her even closer to her sister than before. She absolutely dotes on Amelia. Watching her change, grow and learn is something she completely missed out on in the first few months of her life and it is one of her biggest regrets. She looks at her niece, who is so young and innocent with her whole life ahead of her and Abbey wants nothing more than to protect her, guide her and ensure that she never has to suffer by taking the wrong path like she did. Seeing life from a child’s eyes has given Abbey a brand new perspective on almost everything and for the first time in a very long time, she feels like she knows who she is, what she wants and where she is going. She has her family back, she has more than one positive goal to work towards and her future looks bright. Yet despite everything going so well and Abbey feeling genuinely happy again, she still knows that things can change in a heartbeat.

  Life is unpredictable, you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth and it is important never to get complacent. She made a promise to herself that she will never again take anything for granted as one of the biggest lessons Abbey has learnt throughout all of her struggle, is that so much of what happens is beyond anyone’s control.

  A seemingly insignificant moment, a reaction, a simple decision… something so small can set your life on an entirely different course and turn your whole world upside down. Other people’s choices can have serious consequences too; consequences that can ripple back onto you without warning or expectation. Even choices made by the person you love; that were made months ago, at a different time, during a different life… can still come back to haunt you.

  CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

  FINAL GOODBYES

  As the final school bell sounds marking the end of the day and the end of term, there is a loud cheer and a round of applause from the sixth form common room and the surrounding classes.

  It is over. The last nine months have absolutely flown by and Abbey’s A-Level course is officially done. She had sat her final exam at the start of the week but the handful of remaining classes were spent finalising her last bit of course work and saying goodbye to her friends.

  If someone had told her a year ago that she would be finishing out the school year, gaining her qualifications and dec
iding on University courses, she would have called them crazy. It felt like an unachievable dream… but it is one that she has now accomplished, and she couldn’t be happier.

  As she leaves the common room for the final time, waving to her friends and nodding excitedly as they confirm their plans for the evening, she practically skips down the hallway towards Matt Harper’s office. It is bitter sweet, knowing that finally graduating from Eden will mean she won’t get to see him every day. He had kept his promise and they have developed a firm friendship over the course of the last few terms. He had become less and less like a teacher and more like an equal as they got to know each other properly on mutual ground and she will miss him terribly, even though she is certain that she will see him again.

  Abbey taps lightly on the door and enters without waiting for a reply, hesitating in the entrance when she sees Mr Macintyre, the head of year 11, sitting in the seat opposite Matt.

  “Oh sorry… I can come back?”

  “No… no it’s fine, we were just finishing up…” Due to the fact that Mr Macintyre is twisted in his seat closely assessing Abbey, he doesn’t notice Matt shaking his head and widening his eyes in a pleading fashion.

  “Oh right…” He eventually responds, a little surprised at the apparently abrupt ending to his conversation, “I’ll see you anon then Matt. Enjoy your summer…”

  “You too…” He replies, shaking his hand politely.

  “What was all that about…?” Abbey asks once he is out of ear shot.

  “That was you saving me from an already 40 minute conversation about his caravanning plans and his favourite fishing spots…”

  “Oh right…” She laughs, “I was going to say, you looked riveted…”

  “I wouldn’t exactly label it the most exciting conversation I’ve ever had…”

  “Well, maybe not yet but that’ll be you in a couple of year’s gramps, with your thick rimmed reading glasses and your tweed jacket…” Abbey laughs out loud at the ridiculous mental image and Matt smiles in response, shaking his head with his arms folded as he stands up straight from his leaning position by the window.

  “What am I going to do without your constant abuse and inappropriate sarcasm…?” He asks, moving towards her.

  “Learn to fish…?” She smiles again, and to her surprise he steps forward and places his arms tightly around her shoulders, hugging her affectionately.

  “Well done you. You did it…”

  “I did, didn’t I?” She grins, trying to regain control of her fluttering heartbeat after the unexpected contact between them, “And here is my final piece of coursework, all finished as promised… T’s crossed, I’s dotted…” Abbey hands him the folder she is carrying and he circles his desk, placing it neatly in the top drawer.

  “So you’ll be celebrating tonight no doubt?”

  “That’s the plan yeah; we’re headed to a few spots in Town I think…”

  “That’s good. And have you thought anymore about your University courses yet?”

  “You just can’t wait to get rid of me can you?” Abbey jokes, and he stares directly at her, smiling shyly.

  “That couldn’t be further from the truth Abbey; I think you know that…” His voice is wistful and it causes the butterflies in Abbey’s stomach to momentarily reawaken.

  “You’ll have another charity case to work on next year I’m sure…” She laughs.

  “You were never that…”

  “I know, I’m just joking around…” He seems to be in a bad mood today and Abbey dares to entertain the notion that it is because she is leaving.

  “You definitely deserve a break after all your hard work but you should really be considering your options and thinking about what you want to do next…” He confirms.

  “I am; I’m just not decided yet. It’s harder than I thought it would be…”

  “It’s a big decision; but I could help you with it if you want? We can always sit down and go through it together?”

  “That would be great…”

  “How about Saturday…?” He asks, trying hard to appear aloof and casual, “We could go for a drink…?”

  “Are you asking me out, Sir…?” She smirks mischievously and he saunters back over towards her so that they are standing face to face.

  “Yes, Miss Miller, I am…” He answers softly.

  “OK…” She stammers, “Well, Saturday is good for me…”

  “I have my sister’s delightful children in the afternoon, but I’m free after that. Shall we say about 7:30pm?”

  “Where…?”

  “We could try that new bar in Headingly, the one on Otley Road…?”

  “Sounds good…” The overwhelming tension is building between them and the hairs on the back of Abbey’s neck are bristling with delight. The spark has always been there, but this time he seems to be responding to it, far less cautiously than usual. They stare at each other momentarily and Abbey has an irresistible urge to lean forward and kiss him, but before she has chance to act on impulse, he reaches up and gently cups her face in his hand, stroking his thumb lightly across her cheek.

  “You’re officially still my pupil…” He whispers, “But on Saturday you won’t be…” The promise in his voice sends a rush of excitement pulsing through Abbey and she beams up at him knowingly.

  “In that case, I will see you on Saturday evening… Mr Harper…” She smiles sweetly and he takes a step back, nodding in response.

  “I’ll text you…”

  “OK…” Abbey turns and slips back out into the hallway as if she has some naughty little secret, which in a sense, she does. Stealing one last glance through the window, Matt winks at her and smiles a sweet, alluring smile, which causes her to blush. Suddenly her plans for tonight appear far less exciting and she is eager for the weekend to arrive.

  Abbey wasn’t overly sure how Janet would take the news of her going out on a ‘date’ with her teacher, but rather surprisingly, she handled it quite well. Matt may be seven years her senior but Abbey is incredibly mature for her age, she always has been, and even more so now after everything she has been through and her recent life experiences. He is a stable, honest, decent guy, who has a respectable job and a responsible outlook on life. Plus he earns his money legally and doesn’t partake in any crime or drug taking at all. Therefore in Janet’s eyes, he ticks all the boxes.

  Peter isn’t quite as thrilled about her potential new relationship and as she sits in the kitchen with her family on Saturday afternoon, there is a heated group debate about her love life, much to her utter dismay.

  “I’m just saying it’s a bit weird that’s all…” Peter holds his hands up in defence before rinsing his mug in the sink, “Surely you see where I’m coming from…?” Dom shrugs and smiles indifferently as he sits at the breakfast bar with Amelia in his lap, and Anna passes her another piece of apple before resting her hands on her hips.

  “God you are so archaic…” She argues, “People form relationships in all sorts of ways these days and you’re acting like he’s fifty or something… he’s not that much older than Abbey…”

  “Yeah but he’s her teacher…” Peter exaggerates, “Surely there are rules about that sort of thing…?”

  “She’s 19, Pete… nothing happened while she was still in school because of that reason but she’s an adult now, no longer a pupil, no longer enrolled at the school he works at…” Abbey smarts a little at Anna’s first comment. It isn’t technically true that nothing has happened between them before now. When they shared a moment together last year she hadn’t finished sixth form but then she wasn’t actually attending classes at the time either? She honestly isn’t sure if that counts or not?

  “Can we please stop talking about this now?” Abbey begs, and Dom laughs sympathetically.

  “I’m just saying, I find it a bit odd…”

  “We get it Pete…” Anna snaps, “But I’ve seen the grin on my little sister’s face this year and I am more than happy for her to see a
guy who makes her feel that way… aren’t you?”

  “I suppose so…” He admits reluctantly, “But I’ll be watching him…” He frowns.

  “Seriously…?” Abbey shakes her head with irritation and looks down at her drink, only glancing back up as Peter rests his hand on her shoulder and kisses the top of her head.

  “Hey, I trust you OK? I just don’t want you getting hurt…”

  “I know…” She smiles, “But you have to give him a chance first!”

  “Fine…” He grumbles, rolling his eyes as he picks up his jacket from one of the bar stools, “I have to check on an order that’s been delivered for a job next week…”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow then…” Abbey smirks, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t follow us around tonight in a trench coat and dark glasses…”

  “Don’t be ridiculous…” Peter scoffs, “I don’t own a trench coat!”

  “Of course not, silly me…”

  “Have fun… but be careful, please…” He adds, seriously.

  “I will, I promise…” And seemingly satisfied with Abbey’s reassurance, Peter leaves, shrugging into his jacket as he playfully punches Anna on the arm in passing.

  “Can you believe him?” She sighs, as Janet appears from the garden in her sun hat and shades, dusting the mud from her hands.

  “He’s only being protective. As annoying as it may be you can do a lot worse than having a protective big brother…”

  Abbey remembers back to when Peter used to drive her up the wall with his interfering. How she always used to see it as him being patronising and arrogant when really all he was doing was worrying about her. Funny how a clear head and being in a good place emotionally can enable you to see things as they really are, instead of seeing the worst. She kind of enjoys the fact that Peter has her back these days. She would look out for him in the same way too.

  “So…” Anna smiles as she stands behind Abbey’s seat and locks her arms around her neck, “Have you thought about what you’re going to wear?”

 

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