Slow Burn (Into The Fire Book 2)

by J. H. Croix

  I nodded. “I feel good. Can’t help but try, eh?”

  Coach grinned. “Perhaps not, but you’re waiting. I’d rather have you in tip-top shape than back a little early. Anything else isn’t worth the risk. I appreciate how much work you’ve put into your recovery and also the help you offered Matt. He’s not you and never will be, but whatever you said to him before our game the night before last helped.”

  After watching a few challenging practices, I’d taken Matt aside and given him some feedback on how to navigate with the team. Being the playmaker was more than raw physical skill. It involved a deep, tactical understanding of how your particular team meshed. Alex had also gone out of his way to ease the pressure on Matt. I took a breath and nodded. “I’d like to take full credit, but Alex has done his part too. Matt’s under gobs of pressure. He’s holding up well, all in all.”

  Coach nodded and picked up a slinky on his desk, idly stretching it back and forth in his hands. He was quiet again for a few beats and I wondered just what he wanted to meet with me about. “I’m sure you’re accustomed to it, but you were in the news last weekend. It doesn’t appear that kind of gossip interfered with your playing back in Britain, so I hope it doesn’t here.”

  I was flummoxed and had no clue what Coach was referencing. “Come again?”

  He tugged his laptop towards him on the desk. Pulling up his computer screen, he clicked through it and then spun it around, tapping his finger on a picture. I leaned forward to see a photo of Olivia and me from our dinner last weekend. I happened to be facing the window, so it was easy to tell who I was. Olivia was angled away with her face in shadow. A bolt of anger shot through me. I’d learned to ignore this bullshit, but it wasn’t fair to Olivia and I knew she was probably freaking out.

  “Bloody hell,” I said, leaning back and running a hand through my hair. I’d never enjoyed the nosiness of the media and certainly didn’t want Olivia to get nervous over this.

  “Anyone special?” Coach asked, only his eyes giving away the hint of a smile.

  Only the most special woman I’d ever met. But I wasn’t about to say that aloud. Olivia had been politely sidestepping me when I tried to see her again. It had been four days since waking up beside her last Sunday, and I was about out of my mind with missing her. The usual me would’ve already moved on, but the usual me rarely actually slept with a woman. There was sex, but I typically made my way to my own bed. I could only wonder if she’d seen the photo online.

  My face must’ve given something away because Coach nodded slowly. “So she is someone special. Well, from my experience, that’s a good thing.”

  I couldn’t help but be curious about what he meant. I wasn’t accustomed to being tied up in knots inside. Especially over a woman. “What do you mean?”

  Coach gave me a considering gaze and then shrugged. “The life that comes with playing soccer internationally, or any sport for that matter, isn’t easy. It’s wearing and the fawning attention from the media is nothing more than an annoying distraction. Actually finding someone you care about is a good thing no matter what, but in this life, it gives you something you don’t have otherwise—a center for your life and something more important. A woman you love becomes the biggest play of your life, no game will ever come close.”

  I stared maybe a few beats too long, my heart banging hard and fast against my ribs. I didn’t quite know what to think. I wasn’t so stupid as to pretend Olivia wasn’t special, but love? I swallowed against the emotion tightening my chest and throat. When I didn’t say anything, Coach continued. “Also, you don’t strike me as the kind of guy who’d fly solo forever. You come from a close family, and you have a good head on your shoulders. No need to fill me in, but if she’s special, don’t be stupid and let her get away.”

  He winked and spun in his chair when his desk phone rang. “Hang on,” he said, quickly picking up the phone. He nodded at whatever the other person said and then glanced to me, covering the phone with his hand. “I need to take this. Unless you’d like to talk more, we’re done. Stick to the PT plan you have and no pushing too hard. Got that?”

  I nodded and stood. “Mind closing the door for me, Liam?” he called out as I walked through it. I gave a thumbs up, closed the door behind me and walked down the hall in a semi-daze. I was mentally spinning in circles. I don’t know why what Coach said knocked me sideways, but it did. I supposed it was that even though I had enough sense to realize the way I felt about Olivia was like nothing I’d felt before, I hadn’t had anyone ask me aloud what she meant to me. I needed to see her. Now.

  Chapter 22

  Olivia

  I brushed my hands over the thin fabric of my scrubs, which did hardly anything to help with the nervous sweat on my palms. I’d performed two surgeries this morning, both of which had gone well. This afternoon was my usual meeting time with Dr. Adams, and I’d spent every day this week worrying about whether or not to talk to her about my dinners with Liam. I’d even called Harper again last night to ruminate aloud. Since Daisy tended toward more emotionally driven advice, I often turned to Harper, who was ever rational, for a reality check. Harper was firmly in the camp that I should talk with Dr. Adams.

  “Either that, or you do what you’re doing now, which is driving yourself crazy worrying. The other thing is it seems like Liam actually means something to you. If that’s the case, you don’t want to put yourself in a spot where things get messier than they need to be,” Harper had said softly.

  I hadn’t been able to bring myself to admit Liam was starting to mean way too much. I hadn’t been out and out avoiding him, but I’d had excuses not to see him ever since he’d left my apartment Sunday morning. They were legitimate excuses and all related to work, but I could find those anytime between meetings, after hours consultation and the charting documentation that never ended. I was unsettled and out of sorts over the stupid photo.

  I’d scrabbled together my nerve and sat across the desk from Dr. Adams while she finished a phone call. When she set the phone down, she adjusted her glasses and smiled over at me. “Sorry about that. How are you today, Olivia?”

  I swallowed and managed a nervous smile. “Okay. It’s been a busy week for surgeries, but all have gone well.”

  She smoothed a hand over her short gray hair and nodded, her bright blue eyes warm. “Of course they went well! You’re an excellent surgeon. Let’s take a look at some numbers.”

  She started to turn in her chair. I knew she likely wanted to review our unit’s quarterly stats on patients seen, recovery times and the like, but I knew once we got started, the only hour I had with her this week would be gone. I was so tempted to nod and go along, but I’d gotten myself so ready to get this over with, I had to. “Actually, there was something I was hoping to discuss before we got to that.”

  She spun her chair to face me again, her eyebrows lifting in question. She was a slender woman, her features sharp and defined, softened only by the kindness in her eyes. I hoped I could count on her kindness to get me through this.

  I took a deep breath, adjusted my glasses and forced myself to speak. “I can’t quite believe I’m about to say this, but I had dinner twice with a patient I operated on last month. I know it shouldn’t have happened, and I don’t have any good reason other than he kept asking me. I decided I should come talk to you about it because I don’t want to cause problems, and I’m worried it will. If I’m in trouble, please just tell me now.” My words tumbled out in a rush, and I only stopped when I ran out of breath.

  I adjusted my glasses again and then twisted my hands together in my lap. I had to force myself to look back at her. Dr. Adams’ expression had gone flat—which I knew to mean she was thinking something, but she was trying to keep it from showing. My stomach was churning so hard, I prayed I wouldn’t actually vomit. I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been. All my life, I’d been one of the ‘good girls.’ I never got in trouble at school, I never had a grade lower than an A, and I followed the rules ever
ywhere I went. I was that person who actually came to a full stop at stop signs in the middle of nowhere. Which is why I couldn’t quite believe how much I’d lost my mind over Liam. Until I’d seen that damn photo, I’d been stumbling about in a daze. Oh, I’d been worried about the boundaries I was crossing, but to say I’d been in a bit of a haze of lust was an understatement. The photo had been like ice water dumped on my head.

  Dr. Adams’ expression shifted from flat to bemused. She leaned back in her chair and drummed her fingers on the desk. “Let me guess. Liam Reed?”

  My cheeks got hot instantly. I swallowed and nodded. “How…?”

  “I happened to see him in the gym with Tim the other day. You were on your way out and his eyes were glued to you.” She took a breath, her gaze sobering again. “I obviously don’t need to tell you this was definitely not a good choice.”

  My gut kept churning away, and I swallowed. Oh, I knew perfectly well what I’d done was not a good choice. That was putting it mildly.

  “I know. I don’t know what I was thinking. I won’t see him again and if I’m fired, just tell me now.”

  Dr. Adams sighed. “Olivia, I’m not firing you. The ethics on this aren’t as black and white as you might think. There is a suggested guideline that doctors shouldn’t pursue a romantic relationship until more than six months have passed since they treated a patient. Obviously, it’s only been about six weeks, and Liam is still a patient with the clinic. I know he’s formally discharged from surgical care, but we’re on shaky ground if we pretend like you have nothing to do with his care. If he experiences any complications, you would be the consulting physician. That’s not an option now. I’ll need to set it up in the system so you have no access to his health records, and I’ll need to talk with Tim to make sure he doesn’t seek you out for additional consultation. If Liam has any future need for follow up, you cannot treat him. I know you’re not going to like it, but I will notify the clinic board. They may decide to formally reprimand you, and I obviously have to write you up. The worst case here would be a formal reprimand, but the clinic will only want to do damage control. Liam is a consenting adult and clearly pursued you. If it were any other scenario, it wouldn’t matter how valuable you are to the clinic. If you’re worried about your medical license, the only worry you have there is if Liam decides to file a complaint. I’m guessing that won’t be a problem. As for your employment status, I’m shocked, but it doesn’t change the fact I trust you completely as a doctor and don’t doubt your ability to provide excellent care. It speaks highly of you that you came to me. I’d rather find out from you than another way.”

  My heart was still racing and my stomach churning madly, but I managed to take a deep breath and nod. Relief washed through me. Not because she didn’t fire me, but because I’d finally gotten it off my chest. I’d have to face the music with the clinic board, but I could handle that. I twisted my hands and wiped them on my scrubs again. I wasn’t sure what else to say. It had taken all of my wherewithal to get through the last bit, and I didn’t have it in me to think much more.

  Dr. Adams saved me by shifting focus slightly. “Forgive me if I’m being too personal here, but it’s so unlike you to do something like this, I can’t help but wonder what Liam means to you.”

  My heart set off on another gallop. Liam meant way too much to me, and I had no idea what to do about any of it. I looked over at Dr. Adams and almost burst into tears. Her perceptive gaze met mine, and she sighed softly. “Oh, I see. Well, if you’re going to set yourself up for an HR write up and a board reprimand, it might as well be for someone who matters.” My mouth fell open, but I snapped it shut. I didn’t know what to think of everyone around me so easily honing in on how much Liam had gotten to me. For a moment, I thought she might say more, but she didn’t. After a few beats of quiet, she spun in her chair. “Let’s look at those numbers.”

  ***

  A few hours later, I walked home through the light rain. It was chilly, and I’d forgotten my raincoat at the clinic. I started shivering as soon as my thin cotton scrubs got wet, but I doggedly kept walking, figuring it was only a fifteen-minute walk. After my meeting with Dr. Adams, the rest of the day had gone by in a blur. I was beyond relieved I’d finally talked with her. Yet, my brain had promptly shifted gears to worrying about what to do about my feelings for Liam. He wasn’t just some guy. I was terrified I might be falling in love with him and guessed that was the furthest thing from his mind. The usual me would want to box myself away from him, but oddly I wanted to see him, as if he could somehow make me feel better. How I’d been so stupid to fall for an internationally famous footballer with women all over the world lusting after him, I didn’t know. I had enough sense to know he’d likely pursued me because I tried to turn him down. Once the novelty of that wore off, his attention would drift elsewhere.

  I was looking down at the sidewalk as I walked up to my building, idly counting the cracks as I stepped over them. I fumbled for my keys, but my hands were cold and my keys fell in a clatter to the ground. I leaned over to pick them up, but not before a man’s hand curled over them, a hand I recognized the second I saw it. Liam had sexy hands, hands that sent shivers through me in more ways than one—strong, nimble and slightly battered with a few scars. My breath caught, and I whipped my head up, straightening to find Liam standing beside the door. I’d been so out of it, I hadn’t even noticed him. His black hair was damp, his blue eyes bright in the rainy gray light. His mouth curled at one corner. “Hello luv. You’re all wet.”

  I ran a hand over my damp hair. Curls were escaping willy-nilly. I felt about as attractive as a lump of mud in my scrubs after a long day at work, an emotionally draining meeting with my boss, and my mind stuck on the hamster wheel of Liam. Yet, I was so happy to see him, I smiled. His return grin was wide and like the sun coming out after days of rain. “You shan’t chase me off just yet. I decided since you kept coming up with your reasons for being too busy, I’d drop by your flat. Shall we go up then?”

  I didn’t even hesitate and nodded. When I tried to fit the key in the door, my hands were cold enough, they weren’t working too well. Liam stepped beside me and curled his warm hand over mine. “Let me get it.”

  Shivering in the wet cold, I nodded and handed him the keys. He had us through the door quickly and placed a warm palm on my back as we walked up the stairs. He didn’t say anything, and I didn’t know what to say. The day had been so full of stressful and confusing feelings, I wanted nothing more than to get warm and dry and curl up beside him.

  Once we were in my apartment, I looked toward him. His eyes coasted over me. “You’re shivering. Shower for you,” he said matter-of-factly.

  Next thing I knew, he’d peeled me out of my scrubs and started the shower. There was nothing sexual about his touch, and it was strangely comforting. He chucked his own clothes off at the last minute and followed me into the shower. With the steaming water running over me, I finally started to thaw. We traded the soap, and I turned to face him. All of the sudden, tears welled and a sob broke from me.

  Chapter 23

  Liam

  Olivia’s looked over at me, her dark lashes spiky and her green eyes luminous in the steam. The moment I’d seen her walking toward her building, I’d known something was off. Her shoulders had been hunched against the rain, her eyes weary when she’d first seen me, exuding a sense of vulnerability. Just now, pain and confusion flashed in her eyes. The soap slipped from her hands, falling to the shower floor with a thump, and she burst into tears, burying her face in her hands.

  I didn’t even stop to think. All I knew was I would do anything to erase her pain. I wrapped her in my arms, sliding my hand up and down her back in slow passes and murmuring against her hair. Water sluiced over us and steam billowed around us as I held her. She slowly lowered her hands, relaxing in my hold and slipping her arms around my waist. She trembled slightly, but her sobs slowed by degrees, and I finally felt her take a deep breath. She’d buried her fa
ce in my chest and slowly lifted it. I loosened my hold and leaned back enough to look down at her. A bolt of pain slashed me—her pain was my pain. I didn’t have to know what it was about. Her eyes held mine in the misty air.

  My chest felt tight, and my heart started to pound hard and fast. Olivia slid her hands around my waist, sliding across my slippery skin and up my chest. The air around us felt electrified. Whatever she’d been feeling appeared to have eased. Her gaze locked with mine, dark and intent. I was becoming accustomed to my inability to control anything that happened with her. Just now, part of me held onto the worry about what had caused her to burst into tears. Me, the man who’d never wanted a woman to read too much into anything, was worrying Olivia would think it was all about sex.

  My body, on the other hand, thought it was bloody perfect to have Olivia’s hands exploring me. Her touch became rushed and frantic, almost as if she wanted to lose herself. I reached for her, but she dodged, her lips following her hands. My breath came out in a hiss when she placed a palm on my chest and firmly pushed me. My back collided with the cool tile wall as she shimmied down and curled her hand around my cock, which had gone rock hard in a matter of seconds the moment the energy between us shifted.

  She glanced up through her wet lashes, her eyes locking to mine, as she leaned forward and dragged her tongue along the underside of my cock. My head fell to the tile wall with a thunk as her mouth closed over me, and she set to drive me completely mindless.

  If there was one thing I’d come to learn about Olivia was she approached things thoroughly. I had enough sense to know she hadn’t become so well-known as a surgeon by chance. No, I was certain she’d been a straight A-plus student, which naturally lent itself to the understanding she was a woman of focus and intent. Just now, that focus and intent was pointed like a laser at me. Or more specifically, my cock. And holy hell was that the best thing ever. In the entire universe. Her warm, wet mouth took me in again and again with her tongue driving me mad in between with long, slow strokes. I was close, so close to release, but I needed to be inside of her.