All My Love (All #5)

by Natalie Ann

  “Patty,” Ben said after sighing loudly. “You still haven’t said who Tim was to Trent.”

  “Not that it matters anymore. Tim was nothing but a bad decision. A man who said all the right things and did all the right stuff to get what he wanted. When he didn’t want it anymore, he up and left. Just like every other man does.”

  “Was Tim Trent’s father?” Drew asked, even though Ben had told him otherwise.

  “Did Tim father Trent?” she said instead. “Yes, he did. Was he Trent’s father? No. No more than that loser Dave was who married me when he found out I was pregnant and alone, and promised to take care of me and raise Trent as his own.”

  “Trent had no idea at all?” Ben asked, astonished.

  “No. Dave was the only father Trent knew. That is, until he was four when Dave left and never returned either.”

  Patty was angry now, tears in her eyes, but they were rage-filled more than anything; even Drew could tell. Ben wasn’t kidding when he said Patty was a man-hater.

  “What made Tim want to be part of Trent’s life after so long? I’m trying to understand more,” Ben said. “Trent would have wanted to know who his father was. He would have wanted to meet him, and you know that.”

  Drew looked over at Ben, seeing the first signs of anger he’d ever witnessed from him. Ben was so laid-back and funny, always smiling and laughing, but now he was pissed off.

  “I didn’t care what Trent would have wanted,” Patty said stubbornly. “Trent was my child. Tim didn’t want him. He couldn’t run off fast enough when he found out I was pregnant. He said he was too young to be a father. He’d just gotten his freedom and he didn’t want to be tied down. Did he think I wanted to be tied down with a child at eighteen?” she asked bitterly.

  “Freedom, how?” Drew asked quickly. He knew if he didn’t ask something he wouldn’t get a chance with the way the conversation was bouncing around.

  “He’d just moved here from Texas. I don’t know, he talked about some kind of cult he was kicked out of. I thought he made it all up, trying to talk all big and stuff. I figured it was one more lie and brushed it off.”

  “Did he say what the name of this cult was?”

  “No,” Patty said stiffly. “Even if he did, I doubt I’d remember it after all this time. I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to raise a child on my own when he took off. I don’t even know where he went. Probably back to Texas, for all I know. I never heard from him again until he knocked on my door wanting to meet Trent. I turned him away just as fast as he did me all those years ago.”

  Drew made eye contact with Ben. Texas and a cult. They were pieces of the puzzle, and it was all starting to come together.

  Ben looked at his watch, then asked, “Is there anything else you can tell me about Tim? Do you know where he’d been all those years? Did he say anything?”

  Patty started to cry again, and Drew didn’t know what this was about. “It was all full circle, you know. I don’t know why it all had to happen to me. Why did my life have to be this way? Why did every man I got close to have to leave me?”

  “What aren’t you telling me, Patty?” Ben asked. “What’s full circle?”

  “Do you know why Tim came here looking for Trent? I’ll tell you. Because he’d gone to war and he saw death, and decided that maybe now it was time to meet the son he had and didn’t want. That’s probably what happened with his daughter too. It took a look at death for him to realize what he gave up all those years ago.”

  “War? Was Tim in the service? Which branch?” Ben asked quickly.

  Patty snorted again. “Full circle, Ben. Figure it out. I guess Trent took after his father after all. And that’s what took Trent from me.”

  “Tim was in the Navy? Did he know Trent was?”

  “I never told him. I never told him anything about Trent at all. He didn’t deserve to know. I only sent that picture because it was around Trent’s birthday and I was mad. I sent it to Tim to let him see what he missed and what he would continue to miss.”

  Ben stood up, and Drew followed. “Patty, I’m sorry for everything you’ve lost in your life. And sorry you feel like it only happens to you. Thank you for telling me what you did. Regardless of how you felt about Tim, Trent would have wanted to know his father. And he would have wanted to know he had a sister. I’m just sorry that by being selfish and spiteful you robbed Trent and Jordyn from knowing about each other.”

  Patty drew herself up to her full height, which wasn’t all that tall. “They would have never known each other, even if I did tell Trent about Tim.”

  “Yeah, they would have, and you know it. You know Trent would have wanted to meet Tim, and you know Tim would have told him about Jordyn and he would have done anything he could to find her because Trent was loyal that way. He loved his family and he loved you, and you know it. He would have wanted to love his sister too.”

  Ben turned to leave, Drew followed behind him. “Wait, Ben. When will I see you again? You’ll come back and see me, right? This is Trent’s hometown. Are you going to go visit him before you leave town?” The desperation was coming out loud and clear.

  “Patty,” Ben said, looking tired. “I came for Trent, and he’s watching down on this right now and he knows it. I’m at peace with that. Are you at peace with what you’ve done?”

  She started to cry again, harder than before. “You don’t know what it was like.”

  “I do. I think you don’t know what it was like from Trent’s point of view. Come on, Drew. We’ve got a flight to catch.” Ben stopped in the doorway, leaned down and kissed Patty on the cheek. “Bye, Patty.”

  “Ben, wait,” she yelled again when they were a few steps off the front porch. He stopped and turned, and she asked, “What’s your son’s name?”

  “Chad Trent Harper. My wife’s brother died young too.”

  Patty wiped the tears from her cheeks. “And you were Trent’s brother.”

  “I still am.”

  In Memory

  Ben was sitting on the plane with his head back and his eyes closed. Drew was too wired up to relax. “Thank you, Ben.”

  “You’re welcome,” Ben replied without opening his eyes.

  “I know that was hard on you.”

  “You don’t know the half of it, but it’s nothing I haven’t seen or heard before. I’ve moved on and can again. She never will. She has to live with all that bitterness.”

  “I don’t know what to tell Jordyn,” Drew blurted out.

  That was part of why he couldn’t relax. They found out answers, but nothing she could reach. Nothing she could touch. No father to talk to, no brother to talk to.

  It was like being told she won a huge prize, having it placed in her hand even, and then finding out they made a mistake. It was never hers to begin with, so it was like she lost it twice and would have been better off not knowing at all.

  “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I’d like to talk to her and tell her about today. It might be better coming from me.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because I knew Trent better than anyone. And though she is going to find out she had a brother she never knew and will never meet, I get to tell her about him. I get to know my best friend’s sister. There is a part of him in her. I want her to understand Trent and what he was like. I want to give her something of him she wouldn’t get otherwise, or from anyone else. She at least deserves that.”

  Drew felt his eyes tear up. Ben’s were still closed, but Drew heard the emotion in his voice. Today wasn’t only hard on Patty, it was also hard on Ben. Ben was hurting on more than one level and Drew just realized that. “I think she’d like that.”

  ***

  Jordyn opened her front door to see Drew and Ben standing there. “Drew, you should have told me you were coming over. I would have unlocked the front door for you.”

  She couldn’t imagine why he would just stop over in the middle of the day like this without telling her. Or why B
en was with him.

  “I hope we aren’t bothering you,” he said, leaning down and giving her a kiss, then wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tight, holding on longer than normal. She was starting to get nervous.

  “Not at all. Come in. I was only working but could use the break. Let me make some coffee for you two. It’s cold out there.”

  “That would be nice,” Ben said.

  She walked into her office and turned her coffee maker on while Ben and Drew removed their jackets and boots, and tried not to laugh when she heard Ben whisper to Drew, “Why is it so hot in here?”

  “Why don’t you guys go sit in the living room? I’ll bring the coffee in. Ben, how do you take yours?”

  “Just black.”

  A few minutes later she walked in with both of their coffees and handed them off. “Obviously something is going on for you both to be here during the day when you should be working. So lay it on me, Ben. Just shoot straight.”

  Ben laughed a little. “I know where she gets that straightforwardness from.”

  Jordyn’s heart started to knock in her chest, her palms started to sweat, and she felt herself getting lightheaded, so she sat down. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Ben started. “I had to go to Alabama for work yesterday and Drew flew there with me.”

  “What?” she said, stunned, and searched Drew’s face, seeing guilt all over it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I’ll let you two discuss that later,” Ben said. “But we got some answers for you after I went to visit Patty.”

  “Do you know who Tim is? Or who Tim was to Trent? Did you find out anything about him at all?”

  “I’m just going to say it straight like you asked. Tim was Trent’s biological father. Trent didn’t know about him, though. He always thought Dave Richardson was his father. Patty told us she got pregnant by Tim when they were young, and Tim left her.”

  “Sounds like a real stand-up guy who fathered me. I wonder how many other kids he has out there he didn’t know about.”

  As much as Jordyn wanted to know something about her father, she was starting to realize maybe she didn’t. Of course, she pretty much suspected Tim didn’t want her or her mother. The rejection she’d felt her whole life was starting to swallow her up again. Her mother probably felt it too.

  “I can’t answer that for you. Patty didn’t have too many nice things to say about Tim. Then again, she doesn’t have too many nice things to say about many people. But I can tell you about Trent, and I want to. I want you to know the type of person he was. And I want you to know if he’d known about you, he would have found you.”

  She felt her eyes fill with tears. She didn’t want to cry in front of Ben and she didn’t want to believe what he was saying, but she did. “What was he like?”

  “He was a stand-up guy, Jordyn. I can’t even tell you where he got that trait. It sounds like it wasn’t from Tim, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t from Patty. But you know what? He was the best. He was always laughing, always smiling and always joking with people. When he walked into a room, people smiled. He had that way about him.”

  “He looked so happy in that picture of the two of you.”

  “Because he was so happy. He was smart too, just like you. Very straightforward and not afraid to question anything.”

  “Really?” she asked, sniffling. Maybe she wasn’t the only one with a questioning mind.

  “Yeah.”

  Drew reached over and grabbed her hand. “I bet Trent didn’t blurt things out without thinking first, though.”

  Jordyn snorted. It was true: she did that all the time, especially to Drew. “Did he?”

  “No. He was pretty tactful. It came in handy in our line of work. You two have the same color hair and eyes. I didn’t notice it before, but I see it now. I guess I’m looking more carefully now. You walk the same too.”

  “I do? How’s that?”

  “With purpose. For as quiet as you are, you walk with confidence. Your back is straight and your stride is long and fast. He was the same way.”

  “That’s nice to know.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I can’t believe I never knew I had a brother. Don’t you think I would have felt that, somehow?”

  “Not if you were told all your life it was only you. He’d feel the same way if he were here right now.”

  “I feel like I have so many questions and yet I don’t know where to start and can’t even form a thought.”

  “Take your time. You’ve got my number. Anything I can answer about Trent I will. Like I told Drew, I may not have Trent in my life anymore, but I have Trent’s sister.”

  There went the tears she had been trying to hold back. She didn’t know how lucky she had to be to find this in her life.

  All her life she felt she’d never had anyone. No one to trust, no one to rely on, and here was someone she’d just met telling her how happy he was to have her in his life.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “It’s all overwhelming. You need time to absorb it.”

  “Yeah. What about Tim? Did you find out anything about him?” She was so focused on finding out she had a brother that she forgot to ask about Tim.

  “Actually, we did. Patty said Tim was from Texas.”

  Chills ran down her spine. “Did she say where?”

  “She didn’t know. She did say that when Tim found out Patty was pregnant he said he’d just gotten his freedom and wasn’t about to lose it again.”

  “What could he have meant by that?”

  She watched as Ben turned and looked at Drew and then back to her. “She said he made a comment about some cult and being kicked out of it, but Patty didn’t believe him.”

  “But you believe it, don’t you? It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it does. I’ve got a few more feelers out. Yesterday I met up with a fellow SEAL who is stationed in Texas and I asked him if he knew about the Triple H Haven.”

  “Did he?”

  Was she finally going to find out everything today? Was today the day that all her questions got answered? The day her past was finally revealed?

  “He didn’t know a lot. Just that it’s a religious group that is pretty secluded. They keep to themselves and live on a big ranch. The children are home-schooled and there are rumors that the elders take the younger girls as wives. They have multiple wives. The women and kids tend to the ranch, quilt blankets and sew clothing that the men sell or barter along with the beef cattle they raise and sell.”

  “Quilt,” she said quietly, thinking about the blanket her mother made, that had rarely left Jordyn’s side for years, but she didn’t mention it to them just now. Not yet.

  “Yeah. There isn’t much more he knows about them. He is going to dig a bit deeper. He said at one point he thought they were being looked into by law enforcement and he was going to call in a few favors for me, but he didn’t think they’ve broken any laws that he is aware of.”

  “I appreciate everything you’ve done, Ben. I don’t know how to thank you.”

  “No need. It’s what Trent would have done if he’d known about you.” Ben stood up. “I’ll let you have some time with Drew, but there’s one more thing. Patty said Tim ended up in the Navy. Now that I know that, I’ve got a lead. It never occurred to me he could have been, so I never looked into him in our databases. Now I will and see what else I can find out.”

  She stood up and walked to the door with him. Going with her gut, she leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug.

  Ben returned her hug. “I’ll send you a file of pictures of Trent I’ve got on my computer. Shots that were taken over the years. I figure you’d enjoy looking at them.”

  “Thanks for giving me my brother, even if only in memory.”

  Knocked Down

  “Start talking,” Jordyn said from the doorway to the living room.

  She’d reined in her anger and frustration as much as she could while Ben was
here. In all honesty, she was so shocked over everything Ben had told her that her anger over Drew knowing about everything had vanished. But now with Ben gone, it was all coming to the surface again.

  He had the grace to look confused. “About what?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at him hard. She wasn’t sure she’d ever felt this much frustration or…hurt before. “Why did you lie to me?”

  “I didn’t lie to you. What are you talking about?”

  She thought for a second and amended. “Okay, you didn’t lie directly. Why didn’t you tell me you were going with Ben? Why did you hide it?”

  He took a deep breath, looked around the room, then made eye contact with her. “I didn’t want you to be set up for disappointment again.”

  Like she felt now with his behavior. “You had no right, Drew. This is my life. My past and my future. I had a right to know what was going on.”

  Her chest hurt now, tightening around her heart. How could she have been so stupid to fall for him and his charm?

  She’d let her guard down and was kicking herself for it. Was this what her mother had warned her about for all those years?

  “I know it is, and I felt bad about it. I really did. I started to have second thoughts when I was at the airport two days ago.”

  “And yet you still got on that plane,” she countered with, grinding her teeth.

  “I already bought the ticket. I decided it was best to go. I really didn’t want to see you get hurt again. I didn’t know if it was going to be a dead end or not.”

  “Then why couldn’t you tell me at least? How long did you know you were even going to go?” She narrowed her eyes on him when that thought crossed her mind.

  “Just a few days,” he confessed.

  “You had a few days to tell me and didn’t.” Her voice was rising. “And you didn’t even start to have doubts until you were at the airport, ready to go?”

  He started to squirm on the couch and then stood up and walked toward her. “I’m sorry, Jordyn. Brynn and my father both told me not to do it. Even Ben cautioned me, but I wasn’t thinking it through. I was only thinking of you.”