Conklin's Blueprints

by Brooke Page

  Was this really happening again?

  I officially snapped.

  Chapter 25

  The lump in my throat turned into flames and raged throughout my body as though my skin were on fire. My shoulders and hands were twitching, and I swore my big, sexy brown curls were floating over my head like Medusa. My eyes bore into my all-time puppet master, the one who repeatedly broke me and ruined my life just as I started to put it back together.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I said so low I barely recognized my own voice.

  Tyler whipped around, his face full of anger. As soon as he saw me he looked terrified.

  “Becca, she came at me. I pushed her away!” He started to walk towards me. I held my hand up and gave him the most chilling glare I had inside of me, then slowly turned my head back towards Ashlynn. She had a salacious frown on her face then her eyes widened as she looked past me.

  “Ash? What is going on?” Connor cautiously asked, looking between her and Tyler.

  “Becca, she told me she had a question about her prints and that they were back here. Then she started to come on to me. Baby, please believe me!”

  “Stop talking,” I drug my words out while keeping my glare on Ashlynn. Tyler clenched his jaw and took a deep breath in.

  “Why? Connor wasn’t enough? You had to come after Tyler too?” I said almost demonic sounding.

  “Ash, what is she talking about?” Connor choked, his head still rapidly looking between the three of us.

  “You and Tyler aren’t together anymore,” Ashlynn said while fidgeting, “Connor, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. He was looking at me like he wanted me to kiss him.” Ashlynn said trying to sound innocent.

  Tyler’s jaw dropped. “That’s a load of shit!” Tyler shouted. “Becca I didn’t kiss-”

  “I SAID… STOP TALKING.” I raised my voice as I shot him a sideways glare, still holding my hand up towards him. Tyler shuffled his feet and bit down on his tongue, clearly unhappy.

  I closed my eyes for a long moment, clenching my teeth. I hated this girl, and hatred was something I despised. But all those years of putting up with her shit, feeling sorry for her, putting up with her demands, and the way she treated me like I was her property had to stop. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was done with her, and the fire burning in my chest was going to come up my throat and out of my lips onto her.

  “Ashlynn, I’m so sick of you treating me like shit and walking all over me! You have always taken everything of mine since we were little, from toys to family, to food, to friends…” I threw my hands towards Connor, “to boyfriends! I’m so done. You can take your bitchy attitude and go prowl and take advantage of someone else, because I’m not going to be your puppet anymore!” My voice was unrecognizable as Ashlynn’s eyes were wide and confused.

  “Becca, I would never take anything from you deliberately. I can’t help if I have feelings for someone.”

  “You plotted to take Connor from me the second I showed interest in him. Now you are trying to do the same with Tyler. Don’t tell me it is all chemistry and fate; you can’t stand to see me happy!”

  I glanced at Connor from the corner of my eye. His face was blotchy while his eyes were wet. I rolled my eyes and exasperated at his site. “Oh COME ON… did you really think she would ever be faithful to you? You cheated on me with her, wasn’t that enough to prove to you that she could never be committed?”

  Connor’s face contorted as I turned to him. “How the fuck could you do that to me, anyway? Sleep with my supposed best friend? Then fucking ask her to marry you? Give her the same ring that I wanted? Make the same house plans that we had made together?” I seethed, blowing my fire towards Connor. He bit his lip and scrunched his eyebrows closing his eyes. I just shook my head at him. “What did I do to deserve that?” I looked at Connor then over to Ashlynn. “What did I ever do to deserve to get my heart ripped out by my best friend and the man I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? I know you never loved him Ashlynn. Everything you ever told him was a lie--wanting a dog and kids. You hate everything that he likes, yet you still told him otherwise to make him leave me. Why? WHAT DID I DO?” I was practically shouting. Then I saw Jamie and Nathan emerge from the other side of the exhibit.

  When did they meet?

  Nathan came up behind Tyler as Jamie looked around the room and quickly caught on by everyone’s demeanor. She looked over to Ashlynn. “What the fuck did you do,” Jamie growled.

  Ashlynn whipped her head over to Jamie. “Butt out of this Jamie. Go have another glass of wine and screw some random guy!”

  Jamie’s stance grew taller and her fists clenched. “At least I wouldn’t be screwing one of Becca’s boyfriends!” Jamie spat at Ashlynn. Before Ashlynn and Jamie could have it out, I let out a fictitious laugh, causing all eyes in the room to turn towards me.

  “Yeah because fucking someone’s husband is just as noble,” I shot at Jamie, looking her square in the eye. She recoiled and took a few steps back, her eyes filled with shock.

  “Becca…” I heard another voice join the party. Gage was right behind me, entering from the same side as Connor and me.

  I spun around to look at him. “Bs, let’s go…” Gage said, holding his hand out to me. He had clearly caught onto what was happening just as fast as Jamie had. Tyler started to move, but Nathan caught his arm before he could approach me, which was a good thing because I was flying off the handle.

  “Why would I go anywhere with you, Mr. Mixed Signals? Are you going to tell me how much you love me but that you still want to fuck around with a bunch of women and expect me to just wait around for you to be done blowing your load into them?”

  “You told her you loved her?” Ashlynn and Jamie said at the same time looking toward Gage. Gage’s face turned beet red as he sucked in a breath of air.

  “Yeah, since we were 15. But you would never know, since he was too busy putting his dick in everyone else,” I sneered facing Gage. His nostrils flared as he looked towards the ground clenching his teeth. I must have hit a nerve, good.

  “Is that why you never went for me?” Ashlynn said in awe to Gage.

  Wow, the world really did revolve around her.

  “No, I always thought you were a selfish bitch,” Gage grunted.

  “Glad I’m not the only one who thinks that,” Jamie commented under her breath.

  “I am not selfish!” Ashlynn said in mock horror.

  “Yeah, whatever. You probably planned for me to come up here while you made your moves on Tyler just like you planned for me to see you and Connor sleeping together,” I scoffed, holding my ground and staying strong.

  “You made a move on Tyler?” Jamie exclaimed, shooting a glare at Ashlynn then towards Tyler.

  Tyler threw his hands in the air, “I didn’t fucking kiss her!”

  Ashlynn looked around the room, her mouth in a grim line, avoiding my eyes. I crossed my arms ignoring Jamie and Tyler’s stare down. “I’m not stupid. I told you I didn’t have class that day, and you knew I would walk in on you.”

  Connor furrowed his brows, “You knew she was going to come home?”

  Ashlynn let out an exasperated breath of air. “You wouldn’t break up with her, and she needed to know.”

  “Is that why you were in Becca’s bed, too?” Jamie said crossing her arms coming over to stand by me. I took a step away from her. I didn’t want to be near anyone.

  “I never wanted Becca to find out that way. Why would you set her up like that?” Connor said in confusion while taking a step towards Ashlynn, filling the gap between the two of us.

  “Oh, please! Fucking her in MY bed was setting me up,” I said throwing my hands in the air.

  “Hey, why didn’t everyone tell me the party moved up here?” Sean said, emerging into the room. He was holding a drink in his hand and clearly looked tipsy. I rush of rage came across me, and I needed to get the hell out of that room.

  “Why don’t YOU go home to y
our wife and kid?” I yelled at Sean. He blinked at me. I had never said more than two words to him.

  “YOU are an idiot if you stay with her,” I said turning to Connor.

  “If YOU have a wedding because he is an idiot, I’m not going to be your fucking maid of honor, and I never want to see you or talk to you again,” I fumed at Ashlynn.

  I didn’t stop at them, I kept moving down the line of the people who supposedly loved and cared for me. I was done pretending and holding back everything they had ever done to make my life so miserable.

  “I would rather die alone then wait to catch an STD from you,” I said turning to Gage.

  Then I turned to Jamie, “And you never really got it did you? You never really cared about my feelings when I was so broken. You just wanted someone to tag along with you. Otherwise you would never be screwing a married man because you would know how messed up it is from watching me go through all the bullshit with these two!”

  I made my final turn and saw Tyler. My shoulders slumped and tears threatened as I looked at his beautiful face that was filled with mixed emotion. “And you,” I whispered, “I thought you would be different.”

  He put his head down as Nathan took a step behind him, clearly afraid I might take a turn at him. I took one quick glance around the room to find everyone staring at the ground looking uncomfortable and pale.

  Cowards.

  “There’s too much infidelity in this room for me to handle,” I murmured.

  I stormed off out of the exhibit, desperately trying to get out of this cluster fucked situation. As I exited the stairs I saw RJ hanging out by the railing with a drink in hand looking down at the party goers. Not wanting to deal with him, I turned the opposite way. There were other stairs by the carousel.

  I heard footsteps following me as I walked past the humpback whale skeleton that was floating over the sea of people on the lower level of the museum. I kept going, picking up my pace, my anger fueling me to go faster. I hit the stairwell down towards the carousel, holding the back of my dress so I wouldn’t trip.

  “Becca, wait!” Tyler shouted, rushing down the stairs after me.

  Ignoring him, I found the bottom of the stairs and turned into the carousel room. He grabbed me by the arm before I could book it out the back exit that overlooked the Grand River. He pulled me back so I was almost touching his chest. I kept my head turned the opposite way, refusing to look at him. A small group of people walked by after using the carousel, clearly happy with drink and walked right by our awkward stance.

  I felt Tyler’s breath on my neck. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered.

  I tilted my head to look at him in confusion, seeing adoration and a hint of skepticism spread across his face. Why the hell was he proud of me?

  “Becca! I have been looking all over for you!” I rolled my eyes as my mother came through the glass doors from the main foyer where the party goers were dancing and drinking.

  Tyler turned to see who was coming up behind us then quickly put his head down and let go of my arm. A deviant smile came across my mother’s face when she realized I was talking to Tyler. I watched her body sway in all of the right ways as she approached us with her high bun and cherry lips.

  “We need to do our annual family picture. We are going to take the picture in the streets of Grand Rapids exhibit. Tyler, why don’t you come?”

  Jesus, she really didn’t get it. “Tyler isn’t my date mother,” I said through gritted teeth. She moved her eyes from Tyler to mine, clenching her jaw and widening her eyes at me as though I just said something that would offend Tyler.

  “Well, then you need to come with me,” she said sternly and obviously annoyed. Her stare began to examine my features and my body in a slow gaze picking me apart in her head and pointing out all of the things that needed work. I hated when she did that. Why was I never good enough for her? My blood was still on fire, ringing in my ears, aware of her scrutiny. “We will have to stop at the bathroom and freshen you up.”

  I took a step away from Tyler towards her. “Why? I’m never going to be perfect enough for your family picture, Mother. You can poke and prod at my face, tug on my dress and tell me to suck in my stomach, but I’m still not going to measure up to your satisfaction.”

  She gulped and looked at me in confusion. Tyler sucked in a breath and stepped backwards, aware I was standing on pins and needles, knowing I was going to spit my fire towards my mother.

  “I’m sorry I’m not as skinny as you want me to be. Sorry my posture isn’t perfect, and that I constantly ruin relationships,” I said throwing my hand in Tyler’s direction.

  I started to walk backwards away from both of them, Tyler’s eyes following me. My mother looked embarrassed, probably only because Tyler was standing in between us.

  “I’m sorry I was never good enough for you and probably never will be,” I whispered. Before my mother could say anything, I turned on my heels and bolted out the back exit of the carousel.

  Chapter 26

  The air was chilly and crisp, greeting my burning skin. The coldness shocked my system, causing a tornado to build in my mind. I kept replaying the evening, finally letting my anger and hatred take over. I walked along the path around the museum, not sure where I was trying to go. The river was on my left as I walked through the path that was surrounded by decorative shrubs. I came up to a white sculpture with a bench and sat down, not caring that the seat was cold and had a small dusting of snow. I put my hands on my head, trying to stop my body from trembling with anger.

  “May I join you?” Tyler’s voice came through the cold air. I looked at him through my hands, and then hid my face again. Seeing him triggered my emotions, causing tears to fall from my eyes. I was so boiled up with rage and resentment towards everyone I considered to be someone I could count on that I lost focus on all of the good things they had offered me. I sucked in air and looked up at him.

  “I just ruined everything,” I choked out, covering my face as I tried to hide my sobs.

  Tyler shrugged out of his jacket, wrapping it around my shoulders then knelt down on one knee in front of me, tugging his jacket so it was tight around me.

  “Becca, no. Everything you said they needed to hear, including me,” he said, staring at my face as my tears fell down my cheeks.

  My face contorted as I tried to hold back another sob.

  “I just, snapped… I never should have said that to Jamie about Sean. She is an adult and can make her own decisions.”

  “No, you were right. She saw what that type of behavior did to you. She should have known it would have a negative effect on you,” Tyler said. His hands were on his one knee that was just on the outside of my thighs.

  “The look on my mom’s face as I bit into her, it was awful. How am I supposed to look at her ever again? And Gage? He didn’t deserve for me to call him out on his lifestyle.”

  I followed Tyler’s gulp down his throat as he flexed his jaw. “Do you wish he were different?” He closed his eyes for a long moment, and then when he opened them, they were sad and had a trace of fear. He swallowed again then spoke, “Do you wish he was ready to settle down?”

  I blinked my eyes, trying to focus through the tears. Yes, Gage was a great friend who could make me smile on a dime. We could laugh easily with each other and shared the same interests. We came from two different worlds, but that never bothered me. His life seemed simple, and it was very tempting to become a part of it. He always had my back and was great in bed. The passion we had was unforgettable, but did I want to start a life with Gage at some point?

  I slowly shook my head no, my glassy eyes never leaving Tyler’s. A trace of a smile was on his mouth as his eyes softened with relief.

  I put my head back in my hands and began to cry more. I didn’t know what to do. I felt embarrassed and ashamed because I lashed out at the people I loved.

  “Do you want me to bring you home?” Tyler asked. I shook my head no with a trembling lip. I couldn’t fa
ce Jamie. I had said some coarse words to her as well, and I had no idea if she was happy with me or not.

  “I can take you to your parents’ house,” he asked gently. I sniffed and shook my head no again. Who knows what would be going through my mother’s head after I had laid into her, practically telling her she was a horrible mother all of these years. I let out another sob, thinking about how crappy I must have made her feel.

  He cautiously put a hand on my exposed thigh. “You are going to freeze out here, Becca. Where do you want me to take you?” The warmth of his hand felt nice as I hunched over more. He brought his other hand to my other thigh, rubbing circles of heat through my legs. It felt so nice.

  “I can take you to my place if you want…” He trailed off, scooting closer to me, watching my every move, making sure I wasn’t going to lash out at him. But I was done lashing out at people, done being angry, and all I wanted was him.

  But it always came down to the same question. How could we ‘settle down’ if he weren’t willing to open up and let me into his family?

  I was tired of over thinking everything and nodded my head yes. He took his hands from my thighs and stood up. I followed suit, pulling my dress in all of the right places to re situate how it was supposed to fit around my body.

  We walked silently around the outside of the museum, not entering the actual building filled with the people I had just spit fire on. I even left my clutch with my phone sitting at the dinner table.

  I managed to hold myself together until we got into the Maserati. I buried my head in my hands crying silently as we drove to Tyler’s place. He put his hand on my knee the entire way, and I was too exhausted to push it away.