The One You Love (Emma Holden suspense mystery trilogy)

by Paul Pilkington

  ‘Because I didn’t want to intrude,’ he said. ‘I didn’t want this.’

  ‘This?’

  ‘Me and you, like this. I didn’t want it.’

  Emma looked away.

  ‘I don’t mean that I didn’t want to see you,’ he said quickly. ‘Just the opposite really.’

  ‘I don’t get it.’

  ‘What I’m saying is… oh, God, I promised this wasn’t going to happen,’ he said, seemingly to himself. ‘What I’m trying to say is that I really regret walking out on you the way I did. It wasn’t a good time, and my head was all over the place. You wouldn’t believe the state I was in.’

  ‘You’re saying you regret walking out without saying anything?’

  ‘No, not just that,’ he replied. ‘I regret walking out – full stop. I regret leaving you, throwing everything we had down the drain.’

  ‘It’s too late, Stuart.’

  ‘I know. And that’s why I didn’t want to talk to you again like this. I still love you, Em. But I know I can’t have you back.’

  34

  Emma emerged into the living room wearing the black dress she had bought that day on Oxford Street. ‘How do I look?’

  ‘Stunning,’ Lizzy said, looking her up and down. ‘You’re gonna wow those movie people,’ she added. ‘They won’t know what’s hit them.’

  ‘Hope so.’ Emma flattened an imaginary crease in the material. ‘But I’m so nervous. They’re all going to be there – the director, producer, the whole cast. What if they meet me and wonder why on earth I got chosen for the part?’

  ‘Don’t be daft. Guy Roberts wanted you, so he picked you. End of.’

  ‘I guess. It’s just that, you know, with Guy knowing Stuart, it just makes you wonder.’

  ‘What are you going to do about Stuart?’

  ‘I’m trying to forget about him. I’ve decided that I don’t want to see him again.’

  ‘I think that’s for the best. I know it’s up to you, but it doesn’t sound like what you need right now.’

  ‘I just wish he hadn’t got involved in this though. I feel like I owe him.’

  ‘Don’t worry about who it was that recommended you for the part,’ Lizzy said. ‘That isn’t important. Okay, it gave you the foot in the door, but if you didn’t have what it takes, you’d never have got this chance. Remember – contacts might give you the opportunity, but talent lets you take advantage of it.’

  ‘Wow, Lizzy, I’m impressed.’ Emma smiled. ‘Have you been reading one of those motivational self-help books?’

  Lizzy stuck out her tongue and went back to reading her stage notes.

  ‘No, seriously,’ Emma said. ‘Thanks.’

  Lizzy looked up and smiled. ‘You’re welcome. Hey, this is your big night, Em. It’s finally happening.’

  ‘I know,’ laughed Emma, not quite able to believe it.

  ‘It’s so good to see you happy.’

  ‘I do feel better than in a long while. I’m not saying that I feel particularly good, but at least something nice is happening amongst all the bad things.’

  ‘That’s great. Because I want you to be in your best frame of mind for my debut performance on Friday.’ Lizzy held up the stage notes. ‘I want detailed feedback from you.’

  ‘Of course,’ Emma said.

  ‘Only positive feedback, obviously,’ Lizzy joked.

  ‘Naturally. Because I’m sure it’ll be perfect anyway.’

  ‘Miracles do happen, I suppose.’

  ‘I just wish a miracle would happen to Richard.’ Suddenly Emma felt guilty that they were laughing and joking while Richard was lying unconscious in a hospital bed, fighting for his life.

  ‘Yes, so do I,’ Lizzy said solemnly. ‘You think he’ll ever wake up?’

  ‘I hope so,’ Emma said. ‘But I don’t know.’

  ***

  Emma couldn’t believe it when she saw the boat. She’d expected something like a canal barge, but it resembled a mini ocean cruise liner, all lit up like a floating Christmas tree. The other shock was the photographers on the quayside. There were only six of them, but that was six more than she’d expected. As she got closer, they turned around and pointed the cameras in her direction, flashing away, too close to her. Emma wondered whether they even knew who she was.

  ‘Emma, is it true about your fiancé?’ a man shouted from her right-hand side. He moved into view, blocking her path to the boat. ‘Justin Marshall from The London Daily News: can you confirm that the police want to speak with him?’

  Emma didn’t say anything. She pressed on, looking longingly at the people watching from the upper decks of the boat. The photographers were all bearing down on her, and for a moment she thought she recognised one of them as being Eric, the boy she had met in the park. She ducked past the reporter who had questioned her, but he gave chase.

  ‘They think he might have tried to kill his brother?’

  ‘Leave me alone,’ she said. The flash bulbs were blinding, and she wanted to push them all away.

  Then, suddenly, she felt a strong hand behind her back.

  ‘It’s okay,’ the man said. ‘Security.’

  Emma nodded.

  ‘Get back,’ the man demanded to the press, ‘otherwise you’ll have no more access tonight. Back!’ He swatted away a camera lens. ‘Parasites,’ he muttered under his breath, loud enough for Emma to hear.

  ‘You’re okay now,’ he said, leading her up the gangway, before turning to face the reporter and photographers.

  Breathless and shaken, Emma made her way up onto the deck of the boat.

  ‘Emma, I’m so sorry about that,’ said Guy Roberts, handing her a glass of champagne, and then looking down towards the press. ‘If I’d known that was going to happen, I’d have set the dogs on them.’

  ‘It just took me by surprise, that’s all,’ admitted Emma, feeling quite breathless and giddy. ‘I didn’t think anyone would be interested in me.’

  ‘Oh, how modest you are, Emma,’ he said, putting an arm around her bare shoulders. ‘The British press love their bright young things, especially when they’re as attractive and talented as you. I had a feeling they’d bite on this one.’

  ‘Bite?’ Emma queried.

  ‘We sent out a press release,’ he said. ‘You were the main feature.’

  ‘Oh, right,’ Emma said. Now it made sense – the reporter had obviously been digging around for information following the press release, and had found out about Dan and Richard.

  But did Guy and everyone else on the boat know about it too?

  ‘Don’t look so worried,’ said Guy. ‘I know it’s a bit shocking at first, but you’ll get used to it. One day you’ll be walking down the road with the press two inches from your face, and you’ll have got so used to it that you won’t even notice.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.’

  ‘You know, once, when I was dating that movie star – I won’t say her name because it makes me feel queasy – I went to take a shower and found a reporter hiding in the cubicle.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Honest truth. And do you know what I did?’

  Emma shook her head.

  ‘I turned on the shower,’ he laughed. ‘You should have seen his face. He looked like one of the survivors from the Titanic! C’mon.’ He led her through the crowds. ‘There are lots of people who are dying to meet you, Emma.’

  The inside of the boat was even more spectacular than the outside. Chandeliers hung from the main entertainment area, which was carpeted and headed by a stage area. Waiters and waitresses weaved in and out of the fashionably dressed guests, offering plates of nibbles and glasses of champagne. The luxury was like nothing Emma had ever experienced before. She would have felt lost if it weren’t for Guy, who introduced her expertly to many of the guests. She met the producer and director, both of whom said that they had heard a lot about her. Then she spoke with Colin Farley, the leading man, conscious that she was blushing. He had see
med lovely, really friendly, and had said he was looking forward to working with her.

  Everything was going great, and she had even forgotten about the incident with the reporter.

  And then she saw him.

  He had his back to her, chatting in a group of four, but she recognised his profile instantly. As if on cue he turned around and he seemed genuinely surprised to see her, although he had to have known she would be on board.

  ‘Em,’ said Stuart as he approached, ‘it’s good to see you again.’

  35

  ‘I’ll go if you want,’ Stuart said. ‘I wasn’t planning to come, but Guy called me up at the last minute.’

  ‘It’s okay, Stuart,’ Emma said. ‘You shouldn’t have to leave because of me.’

  ‘Okay, but I’ll leave you alone if you like – let you talk to someone else.’

  ‘I think I’ve spoken to most of the people here.’ Emma looked around at the crowds. ‘Guy introduced me to loads of people.’

  ‘Always the perfect host.’ Stuart took a nervous sip from his drink.

  Just then the pianist started up.

  ‘No expense spared for this party,’ Stuart commented. ‘That guy has played piano for the Queen and loads of movie stars. And you’re one of the stars now. What does it feel like?’

  ‘Weird,’ Emma admitted. ‘I’m not sure I like it either. I got cornered by a group of photographers before.’

  ‘I know, I was watching from the boat. Thank goodness security were there.’

  ‘Yes,’ Emma said, thinking back to what the reporter had asked her.

  ‘You want to go outside?’ Stuart ventured. ‘Should be quite a view out there – we’ll be sailing past the London Eye in a few minutes.’

  ‘Okay. It’s getting a bit stuffy in here anyway.’

  ‘Told you it would be great view,’ said Stuart, as they looked out across the city from the side of the boat. They were just approaching the London Eye, right on cue. Emma looked up towards the top of the wheel, seeing child occupants of the pods waving at the boat. She waved back, and so did Stuart.

  ‘You remember the day we went on that thing?’ he asked.

  ‘How could I forget? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as scared in my life. I thought you were going to jump out.’

  ‘I told you I didn’t like heights.’

  ‘I still don’t know why you agreed to it.’

  ‘Because you wouldn’t have gone on it otherwise, and I knew you wanted to try it out.’

  Emma looked across at him, and he smiled. She managed not to smile back.

  ‘This is really weird,’ she said, turning back to look out across at the far bank of the Thames. ‘You and me, talking about old times.’

  ‘I know,’ Stuart admitted. ‘I never thought we’d talk again.’

  They let that statement hang in the air for a few seconds.

  ‘You really hurt me,’ Emma said, not looking at him.

  ‘I can imagine.’

  ‘No,’ she said, this time turning to look at Stuart. ‘You really hurt me. In those weeks and months after you left, I thought I was going to have a breakdown. I cried non-stop for days. It was really scary; I was losing control.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Em.’

  ‘I don’t know why I’m even giving you the satisfaction of letting you know this.’

  ‘I don’t take any satisfaction from it at all,’ he responded. ‘I know it was my choice to walk out, and I’ve only got myself to blame, but I suffered too. You don’t know how much I suffered because of my mistake.’

  ‘It did make me stronger,’ she said. ‘I think that’s why I haven’t lost it now that Dan has left. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, though. I should be really upset. I was supposed to be getting married this week.’

  ‘You’re just protecting yourself. And you’re getting on with your life.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Emma sighed. ‘I’m wondering whether all this movie business is just a distraction – my way of blocking out everything that’s happened.’

  ‘Is that such a bad thing? Maybe it will help.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Look, Em, I’m sorry for just coming out with what I said the other day. I imagine it was the last thing you needed. I didn’t plan to say it.’

  ‘It’s not the right time.’

  ‘I understand.’

  ‘Having a good time?’ said Guy, appearing at Emma’s shoulder.

  ‘Great,’ Stuart said.

  ‘Emma?’ Guy asked.

  ‘It’s really nice.’

  ‘Only nice?’ He grimaced. ‘I can see I’m going to have to try harder with you. Only the very best for Emma Holden.’

  Emma and Stuart laughed along with Guy, although Emma wondered whether he was joking or not.

  ***

  ‘How are you getting home?’ Stuart said, as they stood at the end of the gangway.

  The boat had just moored and most people were in the process of disembarking. Emma was glad to have returned to dry land, and she was even gladder to see that there were no press people waiting for her.

  ‘I’ll catch the tube,’ she said, gesturing towards the direction of the station.

  ‘I’ll walk you,’ he offered.

  ‘No, it’s okay.’

  ‘No, really.’

  ‘I’ll be fine, honestly. It was good to chat.’

  ‘Maybe we could keep in touch? Here’s my number if you want it.’ He handed her a card. ‘If you don’t call, I’ll understand.’

  ‘Goodbye, Stuart,’ Emma said, taking the card.

  She turned and walked away, not quite knowing why she had been so adamant in refusing Stuart’s offer of walking her to the station. Maybe she was too proud to have him do her any kind of favour. She moved through the tourists who were still out at this late hour, heading for Waterloo Station.

  She was around the back of the station when her mobile registered a text message.

  Initially deciding to wait until she was safely inside the station, she couldn’t resist reading the message. When she read it, a chill ran through her – an icy wind whipping up from behind and slithering down her back.

  It was from Dan.

  Why do you hurt the one you love?

  She read the message again. Then she hurried into the station, heading for the tube entrance, thinking about what he had meant by that strange message. Suddenly she stopped and pressed the shortcut key to Dan’s number, expecting the call to be diverted like on all the other occasions. But it started ringing.

  She held the phone close to her ear, breathing hard, waiting for the pick-up.

  It came on the sixth ring.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Dad?’ Emma said, completely dumbfounded. ‘I don’t understand.’

  36

  ‘He found it below the letter box,’ Emma said to Lizzy, trying to eat a piece of toast, but without much appetite. ‘Dan must have posted it through. Miranda heard it ringing and called Dad. He picked it up.’

  ‘But why?’ Lizzy asked. ‘It doesn’t make sense. Why would he post his mobile phone through your dad’s letterbox?’

  Emma shrugged.

  ‘And that text message. It’s so strange, Em. Not just what he said, but the fact that he must have sent it whilst he was standing outside your dad’s house. Do you think Dan’s okay? Mentally, I mean? You hear about people suddenly having some kind of breakdown, then walking out and spending the rest of their lives wandering around, hanging around bus stations.’

  ‘Don’t,’ Emma said, not wanting to think about Dan suffering like that. ‘Anyway, he seemed okay when he cancelled the wedding dress.’

  ‘You did say his voice was a little strange.’

  ‘Yes, but not that strange. I just want to know what he meant by that message. Does he think I hurt him? Have I hurt him?’

  ‘Not unless you’ve had an affair that you’re not telling me about.’

  Emma pondered some more.

  ‘Coul
d the police do anything with the phone?’ asked Lizzy.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I don’t know. Check who he’s called since he went missing? He might also have some text messages saved in there too.’

  ‘Good idea,’ Emma said. ‘I hadn’t thought of that. I’ll check it when I go round to Dad’s this afternoon.’

  ‘I meant give it to the police, really.’

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘You really don’t like the police, do you?’

  ‘I don’t trust them,’ Emma said. ‘Anyway, even if they did take a look at the phone, they’d have to ask me about the numbers. I’m saving them the bother.’

  ‘Your call,’ Lizzy said, holding up her hands. ‘So are you looking forward to lunch at your dad’s?’

  ‘Not particularly,’ Emma admitted. ‘He’s probably going to go mad when I tell him I’ve met Stuart. He really hated him for walking out on me – made me promise that I’d never take him back.’

  ‘You’re going to tell him?’

  ‘I think so.’

  ‘Will you see him again? Stuart, I mean?’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ Emma said, thinking back to the contact card he had given her, and the way she had just walked away.

  ‘You don’t sound so sure any more,’ Lizzy noted. ‘You’re not still in love with him, are you?

  ‘No way… no way.’

  ‘Okay,’ Lizzy said. ‘I’m convinced.’

  But she didn’t sound convinced, and Emma knew it.

  ‘The other reason I’m not particularly looking forward to the meal,’ Emma said, changing the subject, ‘is because Miranda’s going to be there, and I’m not sure I can take all that talk about the new baby.’

  ‘Your new half-brother or sister.’

  ‘I know,’ Emma grimaced. ‘Don’t get me wrong; I’m happy for Dad if he’s happy. But I can’t help thinking that it could be too much for him. It’s a long time since he had a small baby.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re not just a little bit jealous? I mean, it would be understandable.’