Break a Leg, Darlings

by Marian Babson

  'I've been trying to get her to see reason.' Nova sighed. 'But it's no use. She's besotted by that mutt.'

  We were talking about her as though she weren't there. Lucy returned the compliment by ignoring us utterly, but she was paying attention, all right.

  'Tex –' Lucy spoke over our heads directly to Evangeline, obviously deciding she was the most likely ally at the moment. 'Tex is my inspiration! I can work so much better when he's sitting at my feet. I've done pages more of Hamlet Swoons since I've had him.'

  'Have you?' Evangeline switched sides without a moment's qualm. 'In that case, perhaps a few more days' delay in returning him wouldn't matter all that much.'

  'Dorsal is dangerous,' I repeated. Evangeline hadn't had those steel fingers tightening around her throat.

  'How much longer do you think it will take you to finish the play?' Evangeline didn't care; she just wanted that script.

  'Oh, I don't know ...' Lucy looked off into the distance. Lunch hour was well and truly over and the room was nearly empty, only a few stragglers or, possibly, unemployed remained.

  'If anything happened to Tex,' Lucy declared tragically, 'I'm not sure I could ever work again.'

  'Nothing will happen to Tex.' Evangeline reacted to the implied threat instantly.

  'Of course it won't.' I glared at her. 'Dorsal loves that hound. He's taken very good care of it in the past, he's not going to mistreat it now. Look how healthy and strong Tex is.' And a disgusting ingrate, I just stopped myself from adding. All that care and affection apparently didn't work both ways.

  Thump-thump-thump. He knew he was under discussion and that suited him just fine.

  'Maybe you can go and visit Tex,' Nova offered, weakening her case from the start with that maybe. 'Maybe you can even take him for walks sometimes. We can insist on visiting privileges as a condition of giving him back.'

  'No!' Lucy threw her arms around Tex's neck. 'You don't understand. None of you understand. I want him here. With me. All the time! You want to stay with Lucy, don't you, Tex?'

  Thump-thump-thump.

  'You see? He does! He's my dog now!'

  'He takes up an awful lot of room, Lu,' Nova said. 'And he eats an awful lot –'

  'He can have my share of the food! I don't begrudge it to him!'

  'I didn't mean that. I mean –' Nova brightened. 'I know! If you really want a pet, why don't we get a cat?'

  'You're all against me!' Lucy surged to her feet; Tex hoisted himself up to stand beside her. He looked as though he might be considering giving a growl or two in sympathy.

  'No, no,' Nova protested. 'Take it easy, Lu. We're on your side. Honestly. We'll work something out.'

  'You don't care about Tex!'

  'Well, not as much as you do, no.'

  'Oh!' Lucy turned and darted away towards the dressing rooms, Tex at her heels.

  'I guess I blew that one.' Nova looked after them ruefully.

  'She'll be all right, won't she?' I asked anxiously. I was beginning to mistrust dog lovers. Did they all get so unbalanced about their pets, or was it just some special effect Tex had on people?

  'Sure, sure. I'll give her a bit of time to cool off and then I'll go and try to talk sense to her.'

  'Perhaps I should talk to her.' Evangeline stood.

  'You were going to let us see those first ten pages of the script,' I reminded Nova and, incidentally, Evangeline. I didn't want Evangeline rushing off and committing herself irrevocably to that script until we had a better idea of just how good it might be.

  'Oh, Lu's got a lot more done than that now,' Nova said eagerly. 'I hate to admit it, but that dog does seem to inspire her. That's why I haven't been rushing to get him back to the Green Colleen, the way I promised you.' She gave an apologetic bob of the head, then slid a sidelong glance at Evangeline. 'I didn't think a bit of delay would make all that much difference.'

  'It nearly got me killed,' I said indignantly.

  'Mmm, yes,' Evangeline said. 'But if the script is really going well ...'

  'Oh, it is,' Nova affirmed. 'You're going to be delighted with it. And Lu has really immersed herself in it. She's getting new ideas every minute.'

  'I'd still like to see what's actually been written so far.' Mine was the lone small voice of reason. Nova and Evangeline were nodding happily at each other, lost in the haze of self-deceiving anticipation and optimism that results in so many unlikely productions opening on Wednesday nights and closing on Saturday nights.

  'Dear Lucy is so creative,' Evangeline murmured.

  'I'll say! Do you know, she's discovered that when Bernhardt's Hamlet opened in London, the reviewer for Punch said that all it needed to be perfect was Henry Irving as Ophelia! It's given Lucy a great concept. She's exploring it now. I mean, he lives right here in England now. And you've played opposite each other so many times. Perhaps you could sound him out about it ...?'

  'Do you mean what I think you mean?' Evangeline asked faintly. Even she was going to baulk at that idea.

  'Beauregard Sylvester as Ophelia!' I was momentarily stunned. 'That's some concept, all right. I just don't want to be around when you suggest it to him.'

  Then I realized I was a liar. I did want to be around. Preferably in a bomb shelter – but I wouldn't miss it for the world.

  'I'd discourage that idea, if I were you, my dear.' Evangeline had her own agenda and Beau's sensibilities had no place on it. 'I see Hamlet Swoons as a vehicle for a female star only. Bringing in a male lead would dissipate the effect, weaken the impact of the Bernhardt character ... in fact, ruin the play.'

  For an instant, I had a glorious vision of Ophelia picking up Hamlet by the scruff of the neck, shaking him, and hurling him across the stage when he tried to hie her to a nunnery.

  'I see what you mean. I'll tell Lucy. I'm sure you're right.' Nova got the message: Evangeline wasn't going to share the limelight. With anyone. I already knew that. It was time for me to pay another visit to Gather Ye Rosebuds and investigate the possibility of commissioning a new musical from that clever -

  There was the loud gunning of a motor outside and the scream of tortured machinery. Something crashed against the building and there was a loud scraping noise. The motor gunned explosively and there was another thud.

  'Oh, my God!' Nova had pinpointed the source of all the noise and leaped for the door. 'It's Lucy! She's got the taxi! And she can't drive.'

  Evangeline and I raced after her, reaching the door just in time to see the taxi lurching off into the distance. A shaggy grey head protruded from the side window, yelping joyfully at all the excitement.

  'If she can't drive, she won't get far,' Evangeline said.

  'She seems to be doing all right so far.' I watched the taxi take the corner on two wheels and disappear from sight.

  'She's only had two lessons,' Nova moaned. 'She's never been out in traffic at all. She'll kill herself.'

  I listened hopefully for the sound of a crash, but only heard the throb of the motor fading away. It seemed to be running a bit more smoothly.

  'She's ahead of the rush-hour traffic.' Evangeline tried to cheer Nova. 'If there aren't too many cars on the road, she should have a sporting chance.'

  I thought Lucy's best chance might be if she got picked up by the cops, but tact prevailed and I didn't say so.

  'Let's find a taxi.' Evangeline looked around the deserted street. 'We can get to your place ahead of her.'

  'Uuuh ...' Nova looked at us guiltily. I began to suspect that she did not want us to know where they lived. 'I'm not sure she's going home. I've seen her in these moods before. She runs away and hides until you give her what she wants, or she forgets it.'

  'Where does she run to?' Evangeline asked.

  'How long does it take until she shows up again?' I had a more pertinent question. We might not have all that much time. Unless Brendan caught up with Dorsal and got him under some sort of control. Right now, Dorsal was a wild man bound on vengeance, like some crazed gunslinger in an o
ld Western – which might be where he got some of his ideas about horse thieves and hanging.

  'I don't know.' Nova chose to answer Evangeline's question first. Maybe it was the easier one. 'She has half a dozen little hidey-holes, I think. She has some literary friends I've never met. She stays with them when it gets too hot in the kitchen.'

  'Does she do this often?' We were getting an interesting sidelight on their domestic situation.

  'Often enough. Lu has a real artistic temperament. The least little thing can upset her and throw her off stride.'

  'And how long does it usually take her to, um, recover her composure?'

  'You never can tell. It all depends on how upset she's been. Of course,' Nova brightened, 'she's never gone running to any of her other friends with a hulking great dog in tow. That might dampen their enthusiasm for taking her in.'

  'We can but hope.' I was glad to see Evangeline pull her cellphone out of her bag and begin dialling Eddie's number. We didn't want to be stuck here for the rest of the day.

  'I'd better get moving –' Nova tried to get away. 'I'll go home and do some telephoning around. Lu might have gone to someone we both know. Angie has a nice big back garden. She's a definite possibility.'

  'We'll give you a lift.' Evangeline caught her arm as she turned away to leave. 'And you can use my phone.' She thrust it at her.

  'But –' Trapped, Nova looked around wildly. 'It's too soon to start telephoning. Lu hasn't had time to get anywhere yet. If she doesn't crash the car first.'

  'In any case, we'll take you home.' Evangeline was firm. 'She may go there to leave you a note. When she stops off to pick up her script. I assume she'll continue working on it – since Tex is such an inspiration to her.'

  'We may even get there before she does.' I tried to inject a note of cheer. 'If she's such a bad driver, it will take her a long time to get through all the mid-town traffic.'

  'If she doesn't kill herself first.' Nova slumped, dejected. She knew when she was beaten and we could get her home a lot faster than public transport could.

  Eddie must have been tootling about not very far away, perhaps waiting for our call. He regarded Nova with disapproval, but said nothing, not even when she gave him the address. The expression on his face was enough.

  We drove in silence all the long winding way, each lost in her own thoughts. Nova began to shift restlessly as we moved into a gloomy district dominated by shabby tower blocks defaced by graffiti and surrounded by piles of litter and debris.

  'Thanks for the lift.' She made a last-ditch attempt to escape the inevitable, yanking the door open as the taxi drew up to the kerb. 'Very kind of you. I'll let you know about Lu –'

  'Nonsense, my dear.' Evangeline was on her heels. 'We'll see you inside. There may be something we can do.'

  'That's right.' I wasn't going to miss this, either. 'Three heads are better than one.'

  'I'll wait.' Eddie turned off the engine and slumped down in the front seat, bracing himself for the worst. 'Unless you want me to come in with you?'

  'No!' Nova almost shouted.

  'That won't be necessary, thank you, Eddie,' Evangeline said graciously. 'We may not be long.'

  That was obviously the first cheering bit of news Nova had heard all afternoon. There was a spring in her step as she led us up the path of one in a row of terraced houses directly opposite the housing estate. It must have been a fairly pleasant area once, before the tower blocks had gone up.

  'Hell!' Nova had been fumbling in the pocket of her jeans, now she remembered. 'Lucy's taken my keys. I'll have to go in through the window. Don't worry, once we're inside, we're all right. You stay here,' she added, just in case we had any idea of following her through the window. 'Old Mrs Ames knows me. You might frighten her.'

  She looked over her shoulder at the looming tower blocks before she began rapping on the window and calling out: 'It's only me, Mrs Ames. I'm locked out again. Just coming through.' She raised the window and looked over her shoulder again.

  'Just crowd up close,' she directed Evangeline and me, 'so no one can see what we're doing. I wouldn't want anyone to get the idea it's easy to get into this place.' She ducked down as we obeyed and hurled herself through the opening.

  I caught a glimpse of white hair and wild staring eyes as the curtains flew inwards with the rush of Nova's passage.

  'I'll be right with you.' Nova's head popped up as she closed the window and disappeared.

  A moment later, the front door opened. 'We're upstairs,' Nova said, leading the way up a flight of steep and narrow stairs. The railing was wobbly and there were loose floorboards in the tiny hallway just outside the door of the flat. Nova stooped and lifted one of the floorboards, pulling out a spare key. She turned the key in the lock and swung open the door. 'Come in.'

  I'm not sure what I had expected, but we walked into a pleasant little sitting room, which might have been reasonably tidy were it not for a large rubber ball, a couple of well-gnawed bones, and a rumpled corner of the rug turned back and looking as if it too had been gnawed. There was also a scattering of torn newspapers and magazines across the floor.

  'She's not back yet,' Nova reported, having taken a quick look into a couple of rooms opening off the sitting room. 'If she's coming back. I hope she's all right. I haven't even taught her how to reverse yet. She can only go forward and she can never remember to signal for a turn.'

  Neither could half the driving population, from what I had seen. They glared at you and switched on their indicator light only when they had braked six inches away from your knee. It was all your fault for not being a mind-reader and knowing they were going to turn down that street.

  'Lucy is very clever. She'll manage beautifully.' Evangeline spoke absently. She had spotted the desk in the corner of the room and all her attention was concentrated on that. A half-written page sat enticingly in an old manual typewriter, a small stack of typed pages rested beside it. Evangeline sidled closer.

  'That bloody dog was in the front seat with her.' Nova chewed at a fingernail. 'If he starts jumping around, she could lose control, not that she has much control in the first place.'

  I was more worried about Evangeline's control. She was beside the desk now, trying to look as though she wasn't craning her neck for all she was worth. Her fingers were twitching.

  'Evangeline ...' I said warningly.

  'Yes?' She gave me an innocent wide-eyed stare, then turned to Nova. 'I'm afraid I'm getting a headache, my dear. Could you possibly get me a glass of water so that I can take my aspirin?'

  'Sure. Would you like anything else? A cup of tea or coffee? A glass of sherry?'

  'Just a glass of water.' Evangeline gave a martyr's smile. 'Please.'

  'Right away!' Nova dashed through one of the doorways and we heard glasses rattling.

  Evangeline was already bending over the typewriter, shamelessly devouring the typed words. 'Oh, yes,' she said enthusiastically. 'Oh, yes!'

  'Evangeline, get away from there! She'll be back in a second.'

  'Yes.' Evangeline straightened and looked at me unseeingly. 'Do I hear a car outside? Has Lucy come back? Or – Trixie! Eddie is still out there, isn't he? He's still waiting for us?'

  I dashed for the window to check. All we needed was to be abandoned here with Nova, and without transport back to civilization.

  'He's still there,' I reported thankfully. 'He's sitting there reading a newspaper.'

  'Oh, good.' She sounded too smug. I turned back to her suspiciously, but the page was still in the typewriter and the desk seemed as it had been before.

  'Here you are.' Nova returned bearing a tumbler of water.

  'Thank you so much.' Evangeline took the glass and fumbled two aspirins awkwardly into her mouth, swallowing with a grimace.

  'All right?' Nova watched her anxiously.

  'Actually, my dear, I'm afraid not.' Evangeline did another martyred but brave smile. 'It's worse, much worse. I did so want to stay here with you and wait for Lucy but .
.. my head ...' She brushed the back of one hand across her forehead. I caught a dangerous flash of her eyes from under the lowered lids.

  'I'd better get her home.' I moved forward, responding to my cue. 'Before it really closes in on her.'

  'While I can still walk.' Evangeline swayed dramatically in the direction of the door. 'I think I can still manage the stairs ... just.'

  'You'd better,' I said. 'We're not going to carry you.'

  Nova hovered anxiously while Evangeline swayed down the narrow staircase. Eddie took one look at the apparition heading towards him and leaped to open the cab door.

  'I'll let you know as soon as I hear from Lucy,' Nova said.

  'Please do.' Evangeline lay back against the seat and closed her eyes.

  I perched on the edge of the seat and tried to keep the jaundiced expression off my face – at least until no one was watching. Evangeline opened her eyes, took one look at me, and shut them again. 'Home, home, Eddie, quickly,' she murmured piteously.

  Eddie gunned the motor and we shot away from the kerb as though jet-propelled. Evangeline winced. I noticed that she was holding one arm awkwardly and wondered if she had knocked it when stumbling dramatically down the stairs. That would teach her to overact.

  16

  With very little effort, I could work up a real hatred for the telephone. It began ringing as soon as we walked into the living room.

  'Don't answer!' Evangeline glared at the phone. 'I can't think of one single person we really want to talk to, can you?'

  'Martha.' I headed for the phone. 'Or one of the children.'

  Evangeline snorted, but waited to find out who it was. That was her mistake. As I lifted the receiver, I saw two inches of crisp white cuff slip from the sleeve of her coat. It took me only a moment to realize that she wasn't wearing a blouse with white cuffs. I set down the phone unanswered and advanced on her.

  'I think I'll go to my room.' She backed away uneasily.