Without a Compass

by Helen Juliet

  No, whatever this was, Kai wouldn’t mess him around like that. Riley could trust him; he’d known him half his life, if not longer. Riley made himself calm down, then took a long drink of his new cocktail. It had a healthy slosh of rum in it and it went a good way to soothing his fractious thoughts.

  By the time they all sat around on Riley’s picnic blankets he was feeling relaxed again. Twilight was coming in and Riley lit his anti-bug candles which added ambient light as well as a sweet scent to the air. His fairy lights across his tent were also beginning to glow. It all looked very pretty.

  Riley made sure to sit himself between his mum and Jake so as to give Kai the chance to spend some time with Brendon. Slady was talking footy with his dad, and everything felt right.

  “Hey guys,” said a somewhat intense voice.

  Riley and the rest of them looked up to find Sheena Patel standing above them with her hands in her jeans back pockets, one eyebrow raised and a calculating look in her eye. At nineteen, she was one of the youngest that would be in their party for the week. She had a magnificent cloud of soft wavy hair that she’d half pulled back behind her head and a t-shirt that read ‘My Marxist Feminist Dialect brings all the boys to the yard’.

  “Hey Sheena,” said Riley’s dad enthusiastically. “What’s up?”

  She licked her lips and grinned. “Any of you losers want to take us on at Name in the Bowl?”

  Brendon, Slady and Riley all sat up straight immediately. “What are the stakes?” Brendon asked.

  “Winner gets first dibs in the showers tomorrow, the whole tin of Jayne’s walnut brownies, and a bottle of 2007 châteauneuf-du-pape.”

  “And the loser?” Riley demanded, his heart already thumping in anticipation.

  Sheena narrowed her eyes at him. “…doesn’t get those things.”

  “We’re in,” snapped Slady.

  Sheena cracked a sly grin. “Excellent. We’re making a circle in No Man’s Land.” She pointed to the dark area between the camps made by her family, Riley’s, the Grinters and the Sidcups’ loan tent. “Bring whatever provisions you require, we start in ten.”

  She melted back into the shadows, but the Anderson’s were already a flurry of activity. “Oh yes, oh yes,” Jake was chanting. He pulled Riley to his feet. “Will you be on my team?”

  Riley scoffed. “Of course,” he said, as if there would be any doubt. “You better start thinking of some names buddy.”

  “I’ve already got three,” said Jake firmly. “No two – no three.”

  “Well that’s three more than me,” joked their dad as he tidied up the plates.

  “Liar,” said their mum with a laugh. “I know for a fact he keeps five names in his back pocket for just such an emergency.”

  Riley grinned and went to grab himself another drink from the cool box they’d made with water from the drinking tap. He couldn’t be faffed to make another cocktail so just went for beer.

  “Um,” a small voice uttered in his ear. He turned around as Kai stood in front of him, a pensive expression on his face. “What’s this…name game?”

  “Oh!” Riley automatically spun around and grabbed him a bottle too, seeing as he wasn’t holding one. “It’s brilliant,” he said, pressing it into his hands. The rest of his family were already heading off to the designated area with half his blankets and cushions in tow.

  He froze for a second, anxiety gripping his chest. But then he shook himself. They would bring all the blankets back. They were on a hillside; where did he think they were going to take them?

  “So, are there, like, rules?” Kai pressed. His dark eyebrows were furrowed and he was looking down at Riley with focused energy.

  He wondered why he wasn’t asking Brendon this, but one look told him that his brother was already walking over, arm in arm with Slady, her guitar slung over her back as they giggled together.

  It seemed strange that Kai wouldn’t have played Name in the Bowl before. However, although it was now a favourite of Riley’s family, that just made it seem like they’d played it lots. In truth, they had only just introduced it last Christmas, after they’d got it from the Patels at the last retreat when Kai hadn’t been there.

  “Sure, I can explain.” Riley was definitely feeling some Dutch courage as he poked Kai’s frighteningly firm abs with his finger. “You got that bottle opener still?”

  Kai relaxed a fraction and obediently fished his bunch of keys out so he could use his gadget again.

  Once the tops were tossed into one of the bins they’d made out of carrier bags, Riley looped his arm through Kai’s and began walking him over. The contact was exhilarating and, thanks to the booze, emboldened Riley further.

  Bia trotted by their feet, a hide chew in her mouth that his dad had given her to distract her from begging during dinner. The I.D. tags on her collar tinkled merrily as the three of them walked over the grass.

  “Right,” said Riley, launching into the game rules. “It’s easy, but it’s extremely fun. You play in teams and there are three rounds, okay?”

  “Okay,” said Kai seriously. Riley glanced over to see he was nodding intently at him.

  Riley smiled and bumped him with his hip. He felt on top of the world. In what reality was Kai Brandt hanging off his every word?

  “Everybody starts by writing five names on scraps of paper. They can be anyone – anyone. I tend to go for a pop star, actor, Z-list celeb, fictional character and historical figure. Then they all get lumped into a bowl with everyone else’s names. Boom, easy, see?”

  “Right, sure,” said Kai. They’d left the illumination of Riley’s various lights and his pulse rate was steadily increasing in the intimacy of the darkness. He squeezed Kai’s arm. He was obviously anxious, which seemed so strange Riley’s slightly sozzled brain was having trouble processing it.

  “Then, three rounds. First, you get up, pick a name, and use literally any words to describe that person to get your team to guess it except the name itself. So, if it’s Tom Cruise, you could say, ‘actor, Scientologist, short, show me the money!’”

  Kai gave his arm a little jiggle. “Okay, I get it.”

  “Then,” Riley continued. “Second round, you use all the same names again, so you have to pay attention to the answers in the first round. When you pick one this time, however, you can only use a single word. Preferably something someone used in round one.” He shrugged. “So, Scientology would be good for Tom. Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” agreed Kai.

  “The third round is charades. You know charades, right?” Kai nodded. “Again, same batch of names. Everyone gets a minute per turn in each round. So, like…”

  He let go of Kai’s arm and, continuing with the same example, mimed shouting ‘Show! Me! The money!’ down the telephone from Jerry Maguire. Kai laughed. “Oh, okay, yeah,” he said. “Tom Cruise.”

  “Exactly,” said Riley, falling back into step with Kai. “And that’s it! Simple, but bloody marvellous.”

  He looked over to see him chewing his lip, but not in a sexy way. They were almost at the congregation spot where a circle was on its way to being formed, so Riley brought them to a halt. “Hey,” he said, genuinely bewildered. “Are you okay?”

  In the dark, he saw Kai’s Adam’s apple bob. “I’m just…really shit at these games. My mind goes blank and I get all tongue-tired and, um-”

  Riley was mildly taken aback to hear this coming from the mighty Kai, but he could completely sympathise. “Hey,” he said, giving him a gentle shake to get his attention. “Hey, we don’t have to play, we can just go back to my tent and listen to some music or something.”

  He felt a little bad, but that was a win-win situation as far as he was concerned.

  Kai licked his lips, making them glint in the limited light. Campfires weren’t allowed here, but there was a collection of lanterns clustered in the middle of the circle now, with more being added.

  “You want to play, don’t you?”

  Riley was surprised at bei
ng asked. “Yeah,” he admitted with a little snort. “This is something I can actually do. But,” he added hastily. “My family play it all the time. Let’s just go chill back over there.”

  Kai shook his head, looking eyes with Riley. “No. Let’s play.”

  Warmth blossomed all through Riley’s body. “Okay,” he said faintly. “But, we can stick on the same team alright? I’ll make sure you’re following.”

  Kai gave him a genuine, relaxed smile at that. “I’ll hold you to that.”

  You can hold me any time.

  They got themselves seated in between Brendon and Slady, and his parents and Jake. Jake made sure to save them a space on the blanket big enough for two, and Riley squeezed his hand in thanks. Bia made herself comfortable in front of them, gnawing on her chew, making it soggy.

  It wasn’t long before everyone was settled, swathed in blankets, laden down with snacks and sipping at drinks from plastic mugs and thermoses. Kai gave off so much body heat Riley was fine just sat next to him, although thanks to his wooziness he was probably a smidgen closer than he ought to have been.

  He listened as Sheena stood up and reiterated the rules he had already described to Kai. The both of them were already concentrating on their names for the little slips of paper Sheena’s mum had swiftly distributed around the circle. “Remember,” he leant over and whispered in Kai’s ear. His scent was delectable, but Riley forced himself to focus. “Pop star, actor, Z-list, fictional and historical. You could totally throw in an athlete or sports star. Whatever comes to mind first, don’t question it.”

  Kai gave him a grateful smile and got to scribbling.

  “Okay, we’re going to play as families,” Sheena announced from the middle of the circle, pointing at the Andersons and the Grinters. “So Jayne and Derek, how about you come and join me and Mum?”

  “What?” spluttered Daryl Grinter in objection. “But – they’ve got loads more than us!”

  He fluttered his hand dismissively at Riley and his family. Before Riley could even properly form a scowl, Charlotte was yanking her brother back to his footstool. Honestly, couldn’t they even have cushions like normal people? All four of the Grinters had squishy pods to perch on that had obviously been designed by Swedes.

  Charlotte made sure to catch Riley’s eye. “I’m sure it’ll still fair, darling,” she whispered to Daryl, just loud enough so everyone could hear.

  Anger flared through Riley. It was hard to take her words any other way than she was implying that Jake didn’t count as a proper player. But no one else was reacting, so he felt like he couldn’t say anything.

  “Them’s the rules,” Sheena insisted with her hands up, turning to address the whole circle.

  “Besides,” Charlotte added. “With fewer people, you’ll get more turns.” Daryl raised his eyebrows and nodded at that. “Although, Kai,” she called out. “You’re more than welcome to come join our team, balance out the numbers a bit.”

  “If you want to win!” Mrs Grinter chipped in. She raised her martini glass Kai’s way.

  Riley felt him tense beside him and for a second he braced himself for rejection. But Kai, if anything, inched closer to him. “I’m good, thanks.”

  “Yeah, prepare for war!” Jake yelled, punching his fist in the air.

  That earned several more battle cries from all across the circle, and Darlottie slunk back down by their parents.

  “We have three teams,” Sheena announced, holding up her hand. “But only one with the honorary birthday boy. Phil!” Riley’s dad snapped his head up, then pointed to his chest. Sheena nodded. “Your team is up first, my friend.”

  Riley turned to Kai and grabbed his hand. “Just say what you see, and follow me. It’s going to be brilliant, alright?”

  Kai stared at him, then nodded. “I trust you,” he said.

  Sheena waved Phil up into the centre, making sure she had everyone’s undivided attention. She held up her phone, showing the countdown clock, and held out the bowl of names in the other in front of Phil.

  “Okay!” she bellowed. “Three!”

  The rest of the group joined in.

  “TWO! ONE!”

  “GO!”

  15

  Kai

  “Arrow.”

  “Katniss Everdeen.”

  “Fox.”

  “Rupert Murdoch.”

  “Decathlon.”

  “Jessica Ennis-Hill.”

  “Fucking hell,” Kai murmured into Riley’s ear, taking another swig of beer. He’d almost got to the end of the bottle thanks to his nerves. “They’re…telepathic!”

  Riley grinned back at him. “That’s why Sheena and Pavan Patel now challenge us every year.” He giggled and the sound did something unusual to Kai’s lower abdomen. “But there’s always hope.”

  “Not with me,” Kai grumbled into the neck of his bottle. He loathed these kind of games, he always had. Whereas other people knew how to be funny or inventive or witty, he just froze. Riley had said it would be okay, but he really wasn’t convinced.

  “Apple.”

  “Steve Jobs.”

  Sheena narrowed her eyes at her mother.

  “Snow White!” cried Pavan.

  “Time,” snapped Daryl irritably. He waved his tinkling phone in front of everyone to prove it.

  Jayne Sidcup, however, clapped her hands in delight. “Oh, aren’t you two so fast,” she gushed, grasping Sheena’s hand as she sat back down next to her and her husband. “Isn’t this fun!”

  “So fun!” Jake agreed, punching the air again and bouncing on his cushion. Bia headbutted his knee before running once in a circle after her own tail then flopping back down on the grass.

  “Scores are,” Cameron Grinter boomed. “Thirty-four to the Patel/Sidcups, twenty-one to the Andersons, and twenty-three to the Grinters.”

  There was an enthusiastic round of applause from all the teams. “It’s not over yet!” Charlotte yelled, cackling to herself.

  Kai’s hands were damp and trembling. It was his go next. Riley still had his fingers tangled with his though. He knew that should have been odd, holding hands with another bloke. But in that moment, it just felt right. He felt anchored.

  He hated down to his core that mind games like this flummoxed him so thoroughly. He’d probably do okay with the charades round next, but it had worked out that right now, it was his go for the one-word part. Arguably, the hardest round he felt.

  “You can forfeit,” Riley hissed as the clapping died down. He squeezed their fingers together. “Skip your turn, I’ll go.”

  It was impossible to see their hazel colour in this light, but his eyes were earnest as they held Kai’s gaze.

  “No,” he said stubbornly. “I’ll do it.

  Riley nodded and licked his lips. “Okay,” he said after a moment’s thought. “Whatever you do then, look at me.”

  It seemed a bizarre request. But the circle had gone quiet, so Kai scrambled to his feet feeling big and awkward. Riley was good at making guesses he’d noticed, but he wasn’t sure how that was going to help when Kai was the one stood in front of everyone.

  He fumbled from the bowl on the chair beside him. There was one chair and bowl to the left that he had to pick from, and another chair with a bowl to the right that he had to discard used answers in. In front of him was the empty chair in case he had to forfeit any names.

  He took a deep breath, then nodded at Sheena.

  She held up her phone and Kai turned and focused intently on Riley. He held his gaze unflinchingly.

  “Three!” Sheena shouted, others joining in too. “Two! One!”

  Kai struggled to even get the fucking folded bit of paper open, and immediately he wanted to just jack it all in. Then he managed to read the name and a cold sweat sprung all over his skin. One word, just one word!!!

  He couldn’t say anything that was written in front of him, but that’s all his brain was screaming at him. It was a fictional character, a TV show his mum had always loved,
and the only thing that sprung to mind was her favourite quote. “Don’t-” he spluttered, before he realisedhe’d wasted his one and only word.

  In a panic, he raised his gaze to stare at the Andersons, ready to discard the scrap of paper into the skipped pile. But Riley’s lips were moving ever so slightly.

  “-mention the war!” he shouted, practically rocketing from his seat in excitement. “Basil! Basil Faulty!”

  For a second, Kai was too dumbstruck to move. “Yeah,” he uttered.

  “Next one! Next one!” Slady and Brendon yelled together. His best friend whipped his hands around like a washing machine and Slady smacked her watch repeatedly.

  “Woohoo!” Jake yelled, clapping his hands, and Bia barked excitedly.

  Gaining confidence, Kai deposited the correctly answered slip into the right bowl then snatched up a new one.

  He almost tripped over himself again, but Riley was nodding at him, eager to go like a whippet in the stalls.

  Kai took a deep breath a looked at the words on the paper, working out what he was allowed to say. “Fat.”

  “King Henry the Eighth!”

  He was faster now. “Knocks.”

  “Heisenberg!” Riley screeched. “Walter White! I am the one who knocks!”

  Kai could tell some people were laughing at him, kindly or not, but all he could do was regard Riley with awe. He had some sort of super power, and it was making Kai’s arse-about-backwards-thinking brain actually play the game.

  “Fuzzy.”

  “Elmo!”

  “Madrid.”

  Riley’s face went slack. “Madrid,” he mumbled to himself.

  “Cristiano Ronaldo!” screamed Slady triumphantly.

  The next two Kai had never heard of in his life. They were probably off of reality TV shows or something, so he had hastily chucked them away in the pile to be reused.

  “Ten seconds,” Sheena warned.

  Kai looked at the final slip of paper he had to get through and grit his teeth. “Prosper.”